Chapter 9

I woke up in my bed.

How did I-?

When did I-?

This wasn’t the first time I found myself asking these types of questions, but now they unnerved me far more.

The crow’s parting words.

“We’re already inside Wonderland.”

That was impossible.

How could I have ended up inside the worst curse possible without realising it?

And the crow said we, meaning both of us.

No, that’s not possible, not even a little bit.

It’s not funny to even think about that possibility.

Because only a single curse of Alice’s can ever be active at once, and that’s been proven time and time again.

I didn’t have the Fern Flower when trapped inside the Glass Coffin, nor did I have the Drum when the watch appeared…but I still have both of those.

The princess and her box were gone, and a small part of me wondered if she was condemned like the crow by Alice to be here, but-

“What am I thinking?!” I shook my head violently from side to side. “This is just stupid, dumb, stupid and nonsensical. There’s no way that’s even close to true. None whatsoever.

“In fact, I’d bet good money on the fact that the crow’s lying to me and-”

What money?

I reached into a pocket for a wallet and found none.

I checked under my mattress and found no notes or coins.

There was no purse or chest or drawer or card or-

I must’ve left them in my coat, of course, silly me.

After all, that was the thing I always made sure I took with me wherever I went.

Why else would I have it, no?

Big pockets, easy enough for all the coins, notes and-

Okay, not on the left, right, let’s try the other-

Maybe one of the inside pock-

Or maybe it fell out through a hole in-

No breaks or gaps in the stitching.

None whatsoever.

“Aha, then I must’ve been robbed. I mean, I was basically in my death bed not too long ago. Someone could’ve easily broken in and lifted whatever they wanted and-”

Then, where were the signs of a break-in?

Maybe I never checked hard enough.

I mean, she was able to get in just fine that time to save me with the phial from the Fountain of Youth, so it must’ve been possible even for someone, anyone, to get into my house unnoticed.

I checked the back door first, always a good rule of thumb, but it was locked.

Good - as were the windows in all the rooms I checked on my way back to the front door which was - unlocked!

I knew it, I’d been robbed, of course I had.

Well, that’s what I get for leaving the front door-

So then, why didn’t they take anything else?

Why not the-?

The…

The…

Wait, hang on.

What else do I even have at-?

“You met a talking crow and it’s been throwing you off ever since?” I nodded. “Even by your standards, this is…bizarre and unusual. Where did you meet it?”

“At the clocktower last night, right before midnight or around there I think.”

“Are you sure it was a crow and not a raven?”

“Well, the crow said-”

“You’re trusting a talking bird over your own goddamn eyes!”

“Hahaha…right, right…”

She sighed. “Did it have one eye?”

“No, it wasn’t one of Odin’s birds.”

“Okay, good, you actually remember something then. Great. But I mean, talking animals aren’t exactly uncommon in the world of the strange and fantastic. Maybe it’s a shapeshifter of some sort meant to deceive you and-”

“But why didn’t I have any money at home?”

“…What does that-?”

“This morning, I was looking everywhere for my wallet or purse or-hell, I don’t even remember what I had to begin with and found nothing. No cash, no change, no cards, no nothing!”

“Okay, I think you need to-”

“I mean, that just doesn’t make sense, does it?! How can I afford to eat and drink and sleep when I have no-?!”

What did I just say?

“Oh my God…”

“…What’s wrong?” She came closer and put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

I felt faint.

My throat was closing up as my vision started to turn a little blurry, my ears ringing.

My eyes wandered over to the jar of sweets she had on the table in between the two chairs.

Slowly, on shaky feet, I moved towards it and reached out to take one.

I picked it up, unwrapped it and rolled the sweet between my fingertips a few times.

“What is it?”

I turned to her and, with tears welling in the corners of my eyes, I asked, “When was the last time I ate something?”

I was in the park, again, lying down…

I must’ve fallen asleep at some point or-

Maybe I had just been visited by a mare when I napped after saying goodbye to her at the shop the other day, reporting how I’d defeated the princess in her accursed box and-

Her…?

The shopkeeper.

She’s the one whose been helping me out this entire time, a great friend, ally and confidant.

Someone I can trust.

Her name’s…

What was her name again?

Same with that crow.

They said they were a prince, but never gave me a name…

I should ask them sometime.

I mean, it’s quite rude already that I’ve never thought to…

I’ve never thought to ask someone their name?

Why?

Or rather why not?

Surely, when you don’t know what someone’s called, that’s naturally one of the first things you ask them, so…why didn’t I?

Why did I never even think about it?

When I got home after my afternoon walk, I came across a most strange scene.

There something lying on my doorstep as if left there by someone, like a present or I’d missed the postman when he came by or something.

I couldn’t tell what it was, at first, because it was such an odd shape.

It was like a cube, but it had a few broken sides and some much longer lengths and widths than the others, so it was less square and more-

Stranger still, it stank, really, really badly.

Whomever it was that wrapped this parcel in this black paper was-

Except it wasn’t paper.

They were feathers.

And they were splattered with blood.

And there were two vacant eyes staring back at me.

The next day, I woke up and-

“It happened again!” I rushed out of my house, not bothering to change or grab my umbrella and found the weather to be raining.

Normally, I would’ve turned back around and grabbed my coat or umbrella, but I didn’t.

I just kept running because-

There hadn’t been any black clouds or greys skies outside when I first opened my eyes.

Unsure of where else to go, I went to her shop, but the journey was harder than I remembered.

Each step grew heavier and heavier.

Each pace travelled less and less steps.

What was going on?

Why was it-?

When I got to the shop, she offered me a towel and-

“Stop it!”

My shout startled her and she nearly tripped over the table with the jar of sweets on it. “Sorry, I just thought I’d-”

“What is this, huh?! What new foul devilry is this?! Every time I think about something too hard, I find myself a million miles away from it, both physically and mentally?! Every time I try and process and understand what’s been happening around me, I’m thrust somewhere else?! Alice, what game are you playing this time?!”

“Okay, it seems that the crow’s curse is-”

“It’s not the blighted crow!” I shoved everything off the shelf nearest me, breaking almost all of it. “It’s you! It’s me! It’s that damn bird and everything else in this whole freaking place! All of it! All of it is just nonsense, a trick or a hallucination or a sick joke or-!”

“Wait, hang on, slow down and-”

“What’s your name?!”

“Excuse me?”

I thrust my finger at her angrily. “You! You in the stupid hat with your dumb black hair, I’m bored of this face and awful makeup and fashion sense! You who thinks my suffering is one big game for you to enjoy on the sidelines while I have to spend every single God damn waking and sleeping moment in agony!

“What’s your name?!”

She sighed and rubbed the back of her head. “All of this because you can’t remember my name? Seriously?”

“Oh, it’s not just that! It’s the fact that I don’t know your name, how I got here today, why a nice sunny day can turn to rain, why a crow started talking to me and then ended up dead at my door or why he told me some lie about how-”

I shut my own mouth.

I didn’t want to say it.

I couldn’t.

Because I didn’t want it to be real.

I didn’t want to admit that the crow was right.

That everything, all of it, had been inside-

“What’s your name?” I repeated, not looking her in the eyes.

I heard a laugh from behind me as the chains clanked together, drawing closer and closer to my ears, like a train coming into the station.

“Why, you already know it, don’t you?” said the woman behind me, and the woman in front, their voices overlapping one another. “You’ve always known but always run away from it.”

The Chained Witch hugged me, digging her links directly against my neck, while Alice’s puzzled expression turned upside down into a gentle smile.

“Say it.”

“…No.”

“Say it,” they echoed.

I swallowed. “…Alice.”

They laughed and Alice clapped for me, her shadow still clinging to my back. “Correct, sweetie. Honestly, I’m surprised it took you so long to get this far.”

“…Maybe I already had on some level and just chose to look the other way,” I mumbled. “Or maybe I just wanted to believe you when you said you’d help me.”

“Oh, did I ever say that?” Alice asked. “Think back for me, really hard, back to when we first met. When was it and what did I say to you?”

When I tried to, I found no answers.

The only thing I remembered was-

The Glass Coffin.

And that she was already helping me long before that.

“That was a long time ago, though I no longer remember just how long.”

I quoted the crow and she laughed.

“Honestly, I was just a teeny tiny bit upset when you told me he’d lent you a hand but, let’s face it, if he hadn’t, we would have just been replaying the same story over and over again.”

“…So, all that crap about you taking care of the things I gave you, it was-?”

“Just returning them to their rightful owner,” purred the shadow into my ear.

“Well, in a sense, you were returning them after they had been ‘stolen’ by my other half.”

“Other half?”

“Hmm, that’s not quite the right description either. There is only one chained witch, but the physical body doesn’t have to be bound to you - just the spiritual one, which allowed me to play the part of the eccentric shopkeeper all the better.”

“Those contacts you had…they were-”

“Fake, every last one of them,” Alice said. “Truth be told, I wasn’t going to save your life this time around if you had given up like you nearly did to the Fern Flower, but my shadow told me of how hard you’d worked to defy her at the very end that I just had to see you struggle a bit longer.

“But yes, there were never any merchants, traders, friends or acquaintances that I went off to meet. I just stayed here, twiddling my thumbs or spinning the phial around and around. Honestly, I had to stop doing that bit because I very nearly decided it’d be fun to break the phial and see you die a miserable death.

“I would’ve come over much earlier to see the old folk you, but…well, I think this version is quite satisfying.”

“So, we’re in Wonderland right now?”

“We are indeed, both of us, just us two. Well, there are four of us, or were, if you include the crow and my shadow.”

“You killed him because he talked?”

“I killed him because that would trigger this today, right here, right now. Because you were taking so long to figure it out, I thought I’d give you a nudge in the right direction.”

“…I’m going to kill you.”

Both of them laughed at me. “And how will you do that?”

I had no answer, so Alice continued.

“Well, for what it’s worth, it was fun pretending to be your friend and mentor this time around. Of course, it could’ve been more fun if some better curses had found their way to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t choose them, they choose you.”

“That makes me feel…oh so special.”

“It shouldn’t,” the shadow whispered. “It was nothing more than fate, all of it.”

“When did you-?”

“I’ll return your own words to you.” She smirked. “It’s been so long I don’t remember when we first became bound together by fate.”

“Liar.”

“Honestly, sweetie, would knowing really help you?”

“I think so, yes, I think it’d help a lot!” I screamed and tried to charge her, but the shadow tightened the chains around my neck like a noose, holding me back.

I struggled and clawed at the chains, but they were unbreakable - I knew they were, but I couldn’t stop myself from trying nonetheless.

“Sweetie, if they could be broken, many would have done it long before,” said Alice. “Anyway, you can just sit there and listen for a little while.” The chains loosened ever so slightly so I could breathe. “Wonderland isn’t ever meant to be entered, not really anyway. It’s meant to be a storage place of sorts for all the wonderful things I’ve collected.

“Originally, I stole the Akashic Records to do just that but, well, it’d work out. It did for a time, but then I started gathering far too many things to be stored there, so I had to create something much more…flexible. Hence, I made Wonderland.

“A city with no one and nothing in it except for the damned, curses, hexes and all the other fun things in the world I’d collected.”

“You give Pandora a run for her money.”

“You really don’t know your stories, do you? Pandora never collected the box; she just opened it. If we wanted a much more fitting name, then we’d have to call the box something else entirely. Anyway, that’s irrelevant. Wonderland is my ultimate curse - a place that once someone is trapped inside, they will never get out, in theory, and have to experience all of the wonders of the world.” She laughed. “It’s been delightful to actually finally have the chance to use it properly.”

“Properly?”

“Yes. You see,” Alice continued. “In the outside world, I only bring out the curses I want to use from Wonderland, like loaning out a book from a library. Sometimes, they work, other times they are beaten. And then there are those that no one has ever experienced before, like say a certain lost tale from a certain pink book.”

“…That’s what the Princess in the Box was then?”

“Correct.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter, does it?”

“Oh?”

I chuckled. “Now that I know, all I have to do is break out of this place and I’ll be free of you.”

Her smirk didn’t leave her face.

“That’s the trick, isn’t it? These chains.” I grabbed the shadow’s chains as they stopped restraining me. “These aren’t real, like anything else in Wonderland. The real link is between me and this place, so all I have to do is break out, just like I said I would with the crow. And if he’s in here, then I bet there’s plenty of others who’d gladly help me break free from you, you accursed b-!”

“Oh, sweetie, there was never a chance you could be free of me.”

“…What?”

The witch laughed. “Ever since the first day you came to this shop, since the first day you saw me, since the very first day you ever broke one of my curses, you were already trapped in one. One that would never end. One that couldn’t be broken. One that will last for all eternity, just you and me.

“This is Wonderland, and you are its only resident.”

No-

No, that’s-

Bu-but I-

No, she’s lying!

“It’s a trick! You’re-!”

“Didn’t you ever find it strange how you never ran into anyone else?

“Didn’t you ever question why you could never muster the energy to do anything but resign yourself to your fate?

“Didn’t you ever ask yourself why you couldn’t see me?”

The witch laugh-

No, she didn’t.

The shopkeeper did.

“…No…way…It…it was you…always.”

“Bingo,” said Alice the Witch, absorbing the shadow that had been attached to me all this time, her signature chains comfortably wrapping themselves around her like a pet snake would to its owner. “All this time, you’d been dancing in the palm of my hand without ever realising it.”

“B…but-but…you…you’ve been…helping me. You said…you were studying it for-”

“For when I next get free.”

“…Wha…t?”

“Wonderland is such a bizarre hex, even by my standards. It’s a perfect prison, designed to torture and torment whoever is trapped inside for eternity, but normally the owner of Wonderland is sitting right outside of it, playing happily like a child with their toys. However, you and I were both tricked and placed inside it.

“You, the unwilling sacrifice, and me, the greatest threat to humanity, both sealed away for the good of the whole wide world. You are, without a doubt, the embodiment of ‘the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few’, though you never wanted to be here.”

“…I…I’m trapped…?”

“Just as much as I am.”

“…Wh-…Why me?”

“It really doesn’t matter, does it?” Alice asked flatly. “For every other person out there, your eternal misery and condemnation does not matter. You are the person who they might pity but ultimate say to themselves ‘I’m glad it wasn’t me’ or ‘I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like for them’. And they’re right - there’s no way they could know just how pathetic your existence has become.”

Lies.

It has to be.

Because, if it isn’t, then-

“Everything…all of it, it’s just…pointless.”

“Yes.” Alice removed her hat and began playing with the longest locks of her hair. “Every time, we have to go through this, and every time it’s fun to see your soul get crushed just a little bit more, although, I must confess, I’ve started to get bored of it now.”

“Every…time?”

“Yes, every-Aha~” The glimmer of joy in the witch’s eye returned. “You don’t remember those, do you? Oh my, oh my, yes! This is a first! You’ve actually not remembered this time! This is progress! It’s showing that-!”

“Answer me!”

“Figure it out yourself already,” the witch spat back. “Of course, it’s not the first time you’ve found out the truth about Wonderland and every time you have, I’ve just tinkered with your wee head a bit to make sure you don’t remember the truth. Then, I put you back in your little apartment, you come back to me like clockwork with whatever new hex my shadow decided to curse you with and we’re back into our old routines.

“The first ten times, you remembered quite quickly, but then the next ten, you took much longer, and now you don’t even remember how many times you’ve confronted me about this!” Alice’s smile turned up and up, grotesquely becoming a vile grin that would make even Lucifer shudder. “It’s proof that Wonderland is taking you and soon I’ll be free again!”

She laughed, joyously, as if she had just received the happiest, most amazing news in her life.

…It was then I realised that this might have been the first true time I’d ever seen the Chained Witch happy.

All the other signs of laughter and happiness paled in comparison to this moment.

She was elated.

My heart sunk as I fell onto my knees.

It was, and always had been, meaningless.

My entire existence was a stopgap to prevent Alice from doing harm to anyone else.

I imagine whoever put us in here would try and do the same to some poor other victim too, but Alice would be ready this time.

All the countermeasures we’d created against her curses were for her to make them even stronger.

She wasn’t studying them to find out how to overcome and prevent them.

She was looking for weaknesses to eliminate.

The Fern Flower being cured with the Fountain of Youth.

What made Drake’s Drum beat.

Even how the watch work-

My eyes felt naturally to my shirt pocket.

I reached in and grasped the watch firmly while the witch was busy dying of laughter.

…Was this my chance?

Alice said so herself - ‘whatever new hex’ her shadow threw at me, meaning that Alice was going through her entire catalogue of evil and that means the watch had never come out before.

The Chained Witch said she rewrote my memories so that I’d forget it all.

So, we’d go through this song and dance again and again, over and over until the day she could break out.

The watch hadn’t appeared yet, meaning-

“If my life has never had any meaning before now, then I can give it some.”

“Huh?” The witch’s neck snapped at an unnatural angle so she could stare into my eyes. “What do you-?”

“This!” I stood up and thrust the watch forward, showing it off to her with a small grin on my lips. “If I use this, I can make you vanish into nothing!”

The once amused witch was silent as her bones creaked and cracked, bursting out of her skin, her hair sprawling out and hissing as if alive, and her eyes - a deep, dark blackness which no light could ever escape from.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Like I said.” I spat at her. “Making you nothing. You and your sick Wonderland, and all the filth inside!”

The witch - no, the hag - slowly began to walk towards me; I took a step back for everyone she made forward.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Why wouldn’t I, huh? Huh?! What’s to stop me from just ending everything with this?! Wonderland may not be real, but I’d stake my everything on the fact that all these hexes are real. Meaning if I use this, we both disappear into the void, forever, no one else needs to suffer and die at your hands!”

“You think that would work?!” Her voice distorted and became deeper, and it echoed throughout my whole body.

“Hey, what have I got to lose at this point?”

“You wouldn’t even know if you succeeded, even if you think it’d work, which it wouldn’t!”

“Opposite and equal, right?! So, guess what, you old crone?! Even if it doesn’t work, I’d stop existing and stop feeling and I’d no longer be here, so ha!”

“You wouldn’t exist, your entire existence gone and who would ever know, huh?! Foolish mortal! You cannot even begin to comprehend what that would be like!”

I laughed as tears began to fall down my cheeks. “You’re right. But pretty soon, I won’t even need to think about it.”

So, I made my wish.

Make Alice the Chained Witch disappear into oblivion as if she never existed.

…

Heh.

Even if it worked, I’d never know, right?

But still.

I can pray it will.