Can I Please Not Talk About Myself?

Recalling the tale for Maiko didn’t really bring any sense of closure to what happened. It wasn’t so convenient as to reconcile her emotions. Thinking about it still pained her and gripped her heart. Part of her had hoped it would have eased the trauma. But as long as she didn’t think about it the memories would fade again.

Maiko leaned back against the couch. Silent for a bit after the story ended. Once she crossed her arms Maiko looked ready. “Not quite the dramatic destruction of the lab I was imagining from the rumors.”

“We weren’t trying to. It was an accident.”

“I know, but it’s still crazy to know what was the cause. That it was caused by a rejection to a confession, not would have been my guess.”

“I didn’t cause it!”

“I wasn’t blaming you. Did they say what the cause was?”

“Gas leak from the burner he used. I think when he was stumbling, he might have loosened the line. It was all old equipment.”

“Damn, you saved him. And yourself.”

“I didn’t really consider that. I just felt we got lucky.”

“In a way you did. What happened to Keiichi?”

“He got the worst of it. The lab was signed out by him. It was considered an accident, but he did result in the damage. He wasn’t expelled, but he had to help around school. I got yelled at by the staff and mom when they told her what happened. Keiichi told them I wasn’t to blame, just visiting. But after it all I just didn’t want to think about it anymore. And Keiichi just seemed to disappear, I never saw him again.”

“Sounds like a lot.”

“It was. I buried it and tried to forget it all. Honestly, I didn’t even know it was still there until I had to face another rejection.”

Maiko stood up and walked over to the kitchen. Even though it was Noriko’s apartment, she knew it nearly as well as her own. Noriko watched a little confused as her friend made herself at home in the cupboards. She couldn’t see what she was grabbing, but knew it was a snack cupboard.

When she returned to the couch, she slung over the back presenting a chocolate wafer. It was one of her go to sweets when she wanted something to indulge herself from a bad day or to celebrate. “I got this for you.”

“I bought that.”

“And I saved you the walk.”

“Thanks.” Noriko took it from her friend and sat up a little. Her fingers worked on the wrapping. She could already smell the dark chocolate. It had a wonderful calming effect on her. The nerves eased up.

Maiko dropped back on the couch picking up one of the controllers to turn on the console. “What’s the plan then?”

“I promised him a date.”

“With the hottest guy in the company!”

“Company? Thought it was the floor.”

“Gotta go big. So you’re not backing out?”

“Of course not! I made a commitment, I’ll keep it.” She knew it, though Maiko pressing the point did make her think more about it. A date with Hiroyuki was on the table now. It was never something that she would have imagined. What would a date with him even be like?

The whole date started to fill her mind with questions. “Should I wear something for it?”

“It’s just tea right? Doesn’t have to be too fancy. Do you even know where he wants to go?”

“He never said. I don’t even know what day he wants to go.”

“You have time. I wouldn’t stress about it. It’s just a little tea. You can use it to talk.”

“About what? Not about myself. I said before he’ll find me disgusting.”

“You can’t hide it. Unless you plan to bury your past and destroy everything.”

“Never! I’ll die with my doujin!”

“Don’t have to convince me, girl. It’s yourself.”

Noriko finished getting into the candy and started taking small bites. It wasn’t a lot, but she could drag it out. The small joys in life made it all worth it. The chocolate gave her brain a little jump start as she pushed herself fully up on the couch.

Just thinking about Hiroyuki learning what her hobbies were and being horrified. She knew it was impossible. He just wouldn’t understand. But what would she talk about? She couldn’t just stare at him the whole time they drank tea. Well, she could just stare. He was very pleasing to stare at. And how many hours she had already done so. It wasn’t a bad way to pass the time.

She shook her head suddenly, noticing that she was slipping. “I’ll just talk about something else.”

“Don’t lead with it obviously, but you can’t be afraid of it. If this works out.”

“You think he likes games? We could talk about that?”

“I don’t know, we stare at the guy from across the floor. He’s a fantasy to us.” They nodded with each other in agreement. The most they knew about Hiroyuki was work related. He wasn’t private, he just never spoke to them. And they certainly didn’t try. They kept a safe distance and let their minds do the talking.

“As long as I don’t go all fujo, I’ll be fine.”

“Can you keep it together while across the table from him?”

Noriko leaned back a little insulted by that. “We’ve been in meetings and I haven’t had any trouble. I can control myself.”

“Tomio wasn’t next to him and it was a work setting. This won’t be. You’ll be alone.”

She suddenly couldn’t answer quickly. Noriko remembered the lunch and elevator. She got lost really easily. The realization slumped her over. “Can I really do this? Is it a good idea?”

“You said yes to him.”

“But when you point it out!”

“I’m not trying to make you worry, just keeping things real.”

“I know, but this is more of a problem than I realized.” She grabbed the cushion and hugged onto it for some comfort in the stress. “Maybe this is why we all become crazy cat ladies.”

“Speak for yourself, I’m getting a hot guy for myself that I can dream about all night with.” And off Maiko went into her personal fantasy leaving her friend behind. For still being present still, she felt strangely abandoned.

A sigh came out of her as she looked over to her bedroom. Her mind tried to focus on something productive. Would it just be something after work and nothing special was needed? Or would it even be during lunch? She really needed to know what his plan was. How soon was she going to have to face this?

Cut off from her thoughts, she nearly jumped over the couch feeling a vibrating in her pants. Once she calmed down she realized what it was. “My phone…someone message me?” She pulled it out almost thinking that Hiroyuki had miraculous timing. It wasn’t though, it was her mom. She wanted to know about her visit next weekend and planning for when she would show up.

A quick response to her left her looking at all the updates on her phone. And then she noticed that there was another message that she completely missed. It must have come in while she was at work or maybe leaving. “Hiroyuki?!”

Maiko snapped out of her fantasy upon his name summoning her. “He called you?”

“No, he left me a message. He wanted to ask about after work tomorrow at 7.” She finally had the date and time. They gave her some piece of mind. The unknown future wouldn’t stress her now. Noriko could relax.

Then she bounced up realizing that she couldn’t. “Tomorrow?! I’m not mentally prepared for tomorrow! What do I do, Maiko?” This was moving far faster than she was ready for. A date with Hiroyuki tomorrow spun in her mind.

Would she be ready?