Ch. 4 It's Not The Same, And That's Okay

The next morning, Hana helps out with some paperwork organization, Kenta stated that there would be no job out today but at some point he starts writing and puts it in a file before placing it in front of her. “A new assignment has been identified.”

“...you’re kidding.” Hana looks at the file, confused how he was able to identify an issue when he’s here at the office. “Do these just spawn in your brain?”

Kenta ignores her question but is amused by it. “It is time sensitive.”

She takes the file, worried what kind of people she will be dealing with next “Alright, what is it this time?”

Kenta taps the folder and she picks it up to look. “Single subject.” She reads a bit. “High resistance to intervention.” Hana frowns. “Meaning?”

“They don’t want help.” Kenta states, his eyes a bit sad. “They are the type who were not treated well for so long they don’t believe they deserve help.” He leans back in his chair. “Or if they can be helped at all. They tend to believe others helping them is a waste of time and it brings them guilt.”

Hana looks at the folder again. “Great…”

Hana keeps staring at the folder.“…so how exactly am I supposed to help someone who doesn’t want help?”

Kenta answers immediately.“You don’t.”

She looks up at him, clearly confused, and a bit annoyed honestly.

He continues calmly. “Direct assistance will be rejected. Attempting to ‘fix’ them will reinforce their belief that they are a burden.”

Hana frowns deeper. “…so I’m not supposed to help them… in a job where I help people.”

“Correct.”

She sighs. “You’re really committed to making this as confusing as humanly possible.”

Kenta ignores that. “You must alter their perception of themselves without presenting yourself as the solution.”

Hana blinks.“…that sounds harder than the last one.”

“It is. If you push too directly, they will withdraw.” Kenta’s gaze lowers slightly. “If that happens, further intervention becomes unlikely.”

Hana looks back at the folder. “So I got one shot.”

Kenta doesn’t answer right away. “In most cases.”

Hana closes the folder slowly .“…and you’re still sending me alone? I think this is the kind of thing that really needs a proper therapist. Not an untrained person who happens to be a bit kind.”

“You will not be alone.” Kenta stands up. “I’ll be assisting you.”

Hana smiles. “You’re coming with me?”

Kenta nods once. “Yes, you will lead the interaction, I will intervene if necessary. But only if I need to, I will stand by until then.”

She narrows her eyes slightly. “Define necessary.”

“The outcome shows signs of deviating beyond recovery.”

Hana stares at him. “You really… I say this kindly, you really need to learn how to speak normally.”

Subtle amusement can be seen, Hana realized that his eyes crinkle slightly as if smiling even when his mouth is still a flat line. And she always loves to see it happen.

Kenta picks up his coat. “We should leave.”

Hana picks up the folder, feeling more nervous this time. She wasn’t just smiling at people and telling them to have a good day or stocking shelves. She was being a therapist without training for some boss above her boss maybe? That she doesn’t know about, or have a clue why this is a legal job. Maybe it’s listed as a fortune teller of some kind?

She pauses and looks over to Kenta, too scared to say it out loud. This is a legal job…. Right?

“You’re really kicking it up a notch for my second assignment. Seems like hard mode.” She laughs nervously.

“You will perform well, as you did last time.” He says as he opens the door for her.

Hana looks up at him, trying to prod a little out without making it obvious. “You say this as if you know the future.”

He doesn’t say anything in response as she passes through the door, following her out. After further thought he decides to provide an answer to her speculation. “Future foresight is not needed to know the outcome of a situation.” He looks over to her, slowing down his pace to match hers. “Observation and data can predict outcomes with near perfect accuracy.”

Hana grins. “But not perfect. That’s both the beauty and the horror of the human experience. No matter how bad a situation may be, there can be a hidden light that is your saving grace.” She smiles sadly. “For me it was expired food where I last worked. I'm supposed to throw it away but I kept a lot of it to save money on food.”

Kenta listens to her story, glancing over at her to show he's engaged while making sure they are on the correct path.

“I know it's a bit silly.” She laughs but there is a bit of loneliness in her tone. “But I got so happy when something special expired. Something I've never tried or some seasonal item.” She looks around, trying to not think too deeply into it. “Working nearly every waking moment, it was the only thing keeping me sane.” She looks back to Kenta. “That and reading or watching videos at work. Do you have something like that?”

Kenta meets her gaze before looking forward, focusing on where they're going. “I'm not sure.” He answers honestly. “I have always worked hard. There are always people in need, so I help them.”

Hana smiles softly. “Sounds like you’re a good person then, boss.”

Kenta’s eyes widened ever so slightly from her comment, it was unexpected, but not unpleasant. “I’m… Not sure about that.” He clears his throat as he looks forward again. “I’m just doing what needs to be done.”

“There are many who don’t do that though. I feel with this kind of job you would know that.” Hana tilts her head.

“I suppose you are correct.” He nods. “But others acting incorrectly doesn’t make acting correctly a special trait.”

Hana shrugs. “I beg to differ. If it is uncommon to do something that should be done, then it must be tough to do it. And those who are strong enough to, or try to be, are good.”

Kenta grows silent, thinking about her words, not dismissing them but he can’t find himself agreeing either. “Difficulty doesn’t create value, it typically only increases the likeliness of failure.”

“Most people are afraid of failure, that makes you stronger. It is an appealing trait so you should be proud of it.” Hana smiles. She knows he talks strange, but despite working with people, he doesn’t seem to understand them very well. It’s like he acts with people based on data, what a book tells him to, not because he’s learned to manage to understand how feelings work.

“I can agree, effort towards correct action is… acknowledged.” Kenta settles on.

Hana tilts her head. “I think… you’re giving a compliment?”

He doesn’t confirm it, but he doesn’t deny it either. Despite her progress with humanizing him yesterday, it seems in the face of work he goes back to being strict with his overly analytical professional way of speaking.

The building where their job was listed comes into view, Hana feels her steps slowing down as it feels… off. Like it’s the type of place you want to rush going past. The curtains were drawn closed, the mailbox was overflowing, grass overgrown, fence rusted, it’s not a place someone should live. She looks up at the windows, then to the door.

“Quite the place… especially when you’re alone.” Hana gets closer to Kenta, not quite feeling safe.

Kenta notices this and allows her to walk behind him rather than beside. “It is.” Once they get to the door he gestures for her to go ahead.

“Oh right this is my job…” She frowns and goes up to the door, lifting her hand to knock before pausing. “What if they don’t answer?”

“Then you will need to find an alternative approach.”

Hana raises a brow. “I’m supposed to break in?”

Kenta shrugs. “Whatever you choose is best, I’ll leave it up to you.”

“Right…” Hana says before she takes a deep breath and exhales, knocking on the door.

She waits for a minute then tries again but there is no sound of anyone approaching, just the empty echo of her knock.

Hana turns around to look at Kenta. “Maybe… they’re not home?” He doesn’t respond but looks at her and she sighs. “Yeah I know, it doesn’t look like they’re the type to ever leave home.”

Just as Hana turns to think of something else she hears faint footsteps, she turns back and straightens slightly, not sure what to expect.

There’s a few clacks of different locks opening, then the door opens a crack, a chain still latched. A pair of tired eyes peer through the gap. “What do you want…?” They ask a question but it’s said more like a statement, like something an npc says.

Hana feels herself struggling as she speaks. “Uh-Hi! I’m here to help with…” She looks at her folder and sees “inventory irregularities” again and curses Kenta’s dumb way to describe things in her head so she makes up her own. “...cleaning! I am here to do a free cleaning since…” She gestures to the property. “I heard my services were needed.”

The person stares unimpressed, uninterested. “Wrong place.”

The door starts to close and Hana panics. “Wait!” The door stops barely, and they look at her waiting for her to talk. “I’m not here to change anything if you don’t want it changed.” The person doesn’t close the door, looking at her.

“Then why are you here?” They ask and Hana runs her hand through her hair.

“Honestly? I don’t really know, I got a strange job that I don’t really understand yet and I was just told to come here.”

The person stares at her, not expecting that answer. “So… you’re wasting your time?”

Hana shrugs. “Maybe. I took a nice walk I guess. I don’t have anything better to do right now.”

The chain rattles slightly as the person shifts their footing. “You’re weird.”

Hana laughs lightly. “I’ve been called worse. Weird isn’t too bad. Everyone has their own quirk that someone else doesn’t understand.”

The door closes and Hana frowns, thinking she ruined everything but the chain sound can be heard and it opens, revealing a tired looking woman, but still quite young.

Hana looks back to Kenta who gestures for her to go in, showing that he’ll stay here. While she wishes he would come, she can understand why he could make the situation worse. A big guy with the ability to probably German suplex most people, isn’t the best kind of stranger to let into your home when you’re struggling like this.

The brunette steps in and looks around, the house isn’t a complete mess but it’s not exactly what one would consider clean either. There were some dishes in the sink, some clothes about, mail stacked. “I saw some mail outside, would you like me to get it for you?”

“No, it doesn’t matter.” They say flatly. Hana knows with that tone, it’s better not to push ahead on that subject.

She looks down and sees a magazine from a decade ago, she smiles and gasps when she sees it. “Oh my gosh this is the magazine that came out and popularized one of my favorite games!” She looks around and starts to see things that you don’t see very often anymore. “You have so many cool things, it’s like time paused here while everything else kept changing.”

“That’s not how that works.” The woman crosses her arms, not making eye contact. She doesn’t seem amused by her enthusiasm on the subject, but rather upset by it.

“That’s true.” Hana says as she keeps looking around. “But sometimes it can feel that way.”

The woman looks at her, properly for the first time, something changes in her expression. Before she seemed bored and uninterested but now she seems… maybe sad. Or like she was missing something. “You talk as if you’ve been stuck too.”

Hana blinks, not expecting that. She then smiles softly, a bit sadly. “Yeah… I think everyone does at some point. Or at least, a lot of people are, but in different ways.”

The woman opens her mouth to speak, then closes it again as if rethinking what she was about to say. Or maybe if she should even say anything at all. Her jaw tightens and she looks away again, deciding to speak.

The woman's phone starts to ring, Hana reaches for it. “Let me hand it to y-”

“Ignore it.” They say, quickly, sharply. This was clearly crossing a line.

Hana puts her hands up slightly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s nothing.” The woman says, going to her phone and turning it over after silencing it.

Hana lowers her hands slowly, and keeps them by her sides, she doesn’t look around anymore, just thinks about what she should do. The woman stays standing, clearly guarded despite Hana's efforts to seem harmless. “You can go if you’re done.” They say.

“I’m not really done…” Hana looks down, beginning to look at her hands just to have something to do. “I just don’t want to make things worse…”

The woman shifts slightly, not leaving, not engaging, just staying, despite her clear discomfort. This shows that there is a part of her that wants something to happen, someone to do something for her.

“Things used to be so simple…” She starts and Hana looks at her, eager to listen.

“Things seem the same, but as time goes by you realize at some point that it’s not quite right.” They look at one of their magazines, picking it up. “It’s not quite the same.” They open it and look through it. “You begin to notice it more and more, the things you love are evolving and changing into things you don’t recognize. What seemed like forever, was fleeting.” She stops on a page and stares at it.

“Promises to be like this or like that, changed once others changed. You were you but you can’t be you now, because that you don't exist anymore. The same for everyone else. Something as simple as a recipe, it can be loved for years, for decades but someone new decides, why not change it.” They close the magazine. “Why not change the thing that someone loves so much? Why not change it again and again until it isn’t even recognizable as the same thing?” They throw it onto the table where it was placed before. “And it’s weird to not change with it. It’s weird to like what it once was, it’s outdated, it’s not trendy, it makes you evil because the people at that time were evil and deriving joy from such a thing despite pure intentions makes you evil.” They sigh and look out the window at an unkept garden. “How can I live when the world feels wrong?” They look at Hana. “You saw this and became so happy, I saw you light up. How can you bear how different things are now? Don’t you want to go back?”

Hana pauses for a moment to think, not expecting to get such a dump from this woman. “I do.” Hana decides to start with. “I don’t like modernism… I don’t like how the burger joint that was full of color is beige and steel. I don’t care for the newest phone or purse or whatever.” She smiles. “I will rewatch old shows, some from even before my time, but I do enjoy new things too.” She rummages through her purse and takes out a small plushie of a cat. “This is cute, isn’t it?”

The woman looks at it and nods. “Yeah it’s… a cute cat.”

“This is from a show I like, it’s about cats and their adventures in the world. It reminds me of shows I used to watch when I was younger. But this is from a small overseas company, without modern times, I would never know about it.” Hana looks at it fondly. “It’s not the same, the animation style is different, there are different voice actors, and I can’t tell my friends at school about the newest episode but…” She kisses the plushie on its head. “I love it. Even if the things I used to enjoy are gone, or different.” She holds up the cat with a smile. “There are new things that bring me joy in between. As long as I have that, I’m always glad to be around now. Because if I was stuck in the past, I would never have gotten to see this show.” She puts the plushie back into her purse. “It can be hard to find things that you like, there’s a lot of awful stuff out there but I’m sure you can find something you like. You just have to have hope it’s out there.”

They look at Hana, not upset, just tired. “...that’s easy for you to say. You find things you like that are new… I don’t. And also that when things change… I feel like I can't be a part of it. I don’t naturally adapt to it like everyone else.”

“It’s okay to like things that are old, no matter what it is. It means that it mattered a lot to you. But liking those things shouldn’t stop you from finding new joys. You’re allowed to have both.” Hana smiles. “And it’s okay to not like a bunch of stuff, even if people try to pressure you to be a certain way, it’s okay to say no.”

The woman goes quiet for a moment, just thinking. “I used to try out more new things, I used to go out more…I don’t really remember why I stopped.”

Hana nods. “That doesn’t mean it’s stopped, just… paused for a while.”

“I used to write… I wasn’t the best but I liked it.” They smile shyly. “Maybe I can try that again.”

Hana nods. “You could if you want.”

The woman looks at her and smiles, thankful, yet still tired, quietly. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to, just take your time okay?” Hana smiles, going to the woman with her arms slightly open for a hug. “You’ll be okay.”

They hesitate but take her offer for a hug, it’s weary but it’s warm…something she definitely needed. They pull back and Hana smiles, feeling the room feel less stagnant, as if someone opened a window. “I think… Now I’m done here.”

The woman nods, this time more present. Her eyes had more life to them, despite the tiredness that hung on the shadows below them.

Hana waves and the woman waves back before closing the door, the brunette exhales a sigh and looks up at Kenta who was waiting. “So… what did you think?”

Kenta lifts his hand and ruffles her hair, maybe a bit too hard, confusing Hana until he speaks. “You did good.”

“What am I, a cat?” Hana laughs as she fixes her hair.

“You helped them out of their high resistance state.”

Hana begins to walk back to the office, Kenta following by her side. “So I did maintenance on a human being.” Her smile fades as she thinks about it. “I’m not sure if I helped or just… gave her permission to think for herself again.”

“Those aren’t mutually exclusive.” Kenta states as he looks over to her. His gaze lingering slightly, on Hana, rather than the path ahead.

“Is it okay if it feels like I didn’t really fix anything?” Hana looks down at her feet as she walks.

“You didn’t fix her.”

Hana looks up to Kenta's stoic face. “That sounds even worse.”

Kenta continues, unchanging in his tone. “You reduced resistance to change, that allows motion. Motion that allows them to move again.”

“This feels less like a job and more like nudging people in the right direction.”

Kenta nods. “That is accurate.”

Hana blinks. “So you agree with me?” He nods and she smiles, glad that through his analytical view they can come to an understanding on what this job is, despite not knowing the full details on it.

After a bit of silence Kenta speaks again, like he wants to make a correction. “It is still work.”

Hana nods. “Of course it is.” She then looks up to him and asks. “So you don’t take breaks from this?”

Kenta shakes his head. “I am not required to.”

“That’s not what I asked.” She frowns and he doesn’t respond right away, the silence stretching longer than it should.

“I… rest when tasks are complete. Like after your first assignment, we rested as per your request.”

“But aside from that, you really don’t? It sounds more like stopping than rest.”

Kenta contemplates this. “I do not see any operational difference.”

“There is emotionally.”

He doesn’t reply but the look in his eyes shifts slightly, like he’s processing something his brain doesn’t have a category for. They reach the office and Hana stops at the door. “You know…” She says while looking up at him. “You’re the worst person I’ve ever met at taking care of yourself.”

Kenta freezes, in shock to hear such a thing. “I eat, drink, sleep and exercise optimally. I take care of myself very well so I may complete my tasks efficiently. I will rest with you when you require but it will interfere with work if I indulge too often.”

Hana smiles, considering he used the word indulge, it shows he understands that it is to allow himself to do something that he enjoys, and that he does in fact, enjoy the time they spent together. “It will be required if I’m working here.”

He tilts his head in confusion. “Expound.”

Hana laughs, feeling like she’s won something. “Employees come with conditions, I’ll start enforcing mine.”

Kenta crosses his arms. “That is not in the contract.”

“It is now.” She meets his gaze with a playful look. She learned pretty fast that to change his mind she must be firm and absolute in how she acts, even if it can seem a bit pushy or mean.

He closes his eyes with a small sigh, giving in. “What are the conditions?” He asks and Hana points towards the living area of the office. “One, you don’t work until you sleep, you need at least one hour of rest beforehand. Two, you must try food that isn’t ‘efficient’ or whatever you call it. And three…” Her eyes soften and she touches his arm lightly. “Stop acting like you’re not allowed to be tired.”

“Those are inefficient.” He says exactly the way Hana predicted he would but she feels her heart sink a bit regardless.

“So am I.” She says, a bit upset he’s not understanding her concern. “You have another person to help you now so that should lift some weight off of your shoulders. You can rely on me so you should let yourself rest at least a little bit.”

Kenta ponders for a moment before deciding on. “I will review your conditions.”

Hana laughs. “That’s your version of agreeing, right?”

“It is a consideration.”

“Same thing.”

“It is not.” He corrects and she just walks inside, pretending she didn’t hear that. And for the first time, Kenta doesn’t immediately return to work. He looks around, like he’s deciding on what rest exactly is supposed to look like so he asks. “How is rest initiated at home?”

Hana blinks. “Different ways but you could lie down.”

He nods as if receiving instructions. “I understand.” He says and lies down on the couch, lying perfectly straight, arms at his sides with his eyes open, staring at the ceiling.

Hana gasps. “Oh my god, do you sleep this way too? Are you even comfortable?”

“Yes. To both.”

She waits for him to do something then asks. “Why are you staring at the ceiling like a cat watching a laser pointer?”

“I am waiting for the rest to begin.” He says matter of factly.

Hana laughs. “That’s not how that works.”

Kenta frowns slightly. “Then you have given insufficient instructions.”

Hana rubs her face, still laughing. “Oh my god.”