Chapter 4: Eating During a First Date Can Be Painful

I think everyone can agree that the first destination for a date should be a restaurant. Okay, maybe not everyone, but that was standard for TV dates. Not that everything you saw on TV was accurate to life. Wait, was the boutique technically our first destination? No, no, that was just the meeting spot.

Okay, so maybe I needed to focus a bit here. You know, seeing how Kara’s gaze showed just how long I distracted myself from the matter at hand. That and how far away from the store we traveled combined to tell me just how long I went on autopilot.

“So, are you maybe hungry for something?”

“I would say at least enough so to make it worth going.”

“Anything you especially want to eat?”

“I don’t have any particular preference, but no seafood, please.”

Well, I don’t know why she was against seafood, but at least I knew now. That didn’t exactly narrow down my options much, though. Of course, my body knew me all-too-well as I knew of a place slightly ahead. With that in mind, I walked with Kara, discussing my plans to take her to see various people in order to help her improve her skills. We continued to talk until we reached the register.

“Oh, you are back. The usual today or the special?”

“Special?”

Not really normal for him to mention a special, but I was with Kara today. I looked in the direction the cashier pointed and saw that they… didn’t have a couple’s special. No, I wasn’t disappointed. Well, maybe just a little disappointed. They apparently had a merchandise special with a recent robot anime where a themed hamburger came with a keychain. I couldn’t say I wasn’t interested, but the stack of five patties was a joke, right?

The theme was “a burger as tall as a robot suit”, and they clearly wanted to cater to the main character’s habit of eating large amounts of food. If I were alone, I probably would have ordered it without a second thought, but with Kara here, I needed to be somewhat modest, at least.

“She’ll take the special. I’ll have whatever her usual is.”

“You’ll have her usual? You sure?”

“Uh, Kara, maybe you should have something a little more normal.”

My usual wasn’t weird, but it definitely needed a little effort to get used to. Okay, I admit it—it was weird. Anyone who ate my usual would cry in tears. A few kids tried it once, and now various schoolkids use it for their punishment games. It contained a mix of spices and other ingredients that combined for a real punch. Kara rolling on the ground and screaming in pain was not really how I wanted to start a first date.

“I want to get to know you better.”

“Miss… Kara, was it? The special is… a rather heated topic around here. We can’t recommend it.”

“I still want it.”

“Kara, I appreciate it, but it really isn’t something you eat with each other.”

“Please let me try.”

“That is one Mecha Special and one Death Burger, plus three large milkshakes then?”

“Wait, when did my usual get an actual name? And why Death Burger?”

No, really, how did my usual order even get a name? I know it wasn’t on the menu with a name like that. Wait, was it the kids? I recalled one kid screaming for water once. Was that when? Back then, there was a group of kids who were watching a kid eating a burger, and the moment he took a bite, he collapsed on the floor screaming. I recalled one muttering, “It really is the death burger.” Was that when?

“—and that is how it became known as the Death Burger. It comes with a large milkshake, although we recommend extra for first-timers.”

Kara’s face was clearly cracking with a forced smile, and I thought I saw some sweat dripping.

“Another person has a death wish? At least wait until they finish building the hospital!”

“So that is what that construction project across the street was…”

Between the shout from within the kitchen and Kara’s muttered words, it almost sounded like they were constructing a new hospital by the mall in order to deal with the people who tried my usual. That had to be a joke, right? Probably just coincidence. It couldn’t possibly be that bad, right? With how pale Kara’s face turned, perhaps my usual was worse than I initially thought.

“Could I get a few more milkshakes?”

“Sure. How about two more to start, and we’ll have more as you need them?”

“That sounds like a plan.”

“Uh, Kara? Maybe you should just order a normal burger instead.”

“No, I’m seeing this through.”

Kara’s shivering wasn’t convincing anyone, though. I glanced at the cashier and then at a more normal hamburger. He nodded and, while Kara wasn’t looking, I quickly dropped the payment before standing to wait for our order.

Next to me, Kara tightened her grip while muttering something about how she would survive. I didn’t understand why she felt she needed to go through with trying it, but I’d support her until she gave up, if that was her decision. And if she didn’t give up, I had an extra hamburger for later. I didn’t know if I could finish that extra hamburger, but I could always save it for later.

Oh, Kara was pulling me towards a table where our burgers awaited us, along with a helping of milkshakes. Perhaps it was fortunate that she found a secluded table, considering the whispers.

“Hey, I heard someone was trying that burger.”

“Seriously? I thought the kids stopped using it for their games?”

“Did someone already call for an ambulance?”

Those whispers did little to assuage Kara’s fears—quite the opposite, if her deathly pallor was any indicator. She looked like someone attending their own funeral. Just how did visiting a burger place end up like this?

“Kara, are you sure you want to eat that?”

“Honestly, every moment makes me more sure that I don’t, but I was serious about wanting to learn more about you.”

If that is how she felt, I didn’t know whether or not to stop her. I looked at my burger, a monster stack of meat and veggies piled up to make it difficult to fit into my mouth. Even if we were both girls, I still couldn’t help but feel a little shy knowing Kara originally was not. I looked back at her burger, which even I felt had a kick to it. What would a proper girlfriend do in this situation? Should I even be worrying about that? What did Kara want me to do?

With no sign either way from Kara, I observed her every move as she clutched the burger and slowly brought it to her lips. A small drop of vivid red splashed onto the table and Kara’s glanced down for a moment as the strong spiced scent wafted from the sauce.

A few tears formed in her eyes as she took the smallest nibble of the bread, revealing just a little of her ivory teeth as she trembled. Then another nibble, followed by more until she finally took a small bite of the flavored meat sandwiched between those two buns.

Bang!

Those hands immediately slammed the burger into the tray as she desperately grabbed the nearest milkshake and tore the lid off like her life depended on it. Thick milk flooded her mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks. After her third milkshake, she finally slowed down and spoke.

“Wah heh hegh. You eat hiss?”

Okay, the only reason I understood her was because I already knew what she intended to say. Without that, I definitely would not have understood. Since I understood, I grabbed the much more normal hamburger and offered it to her.

“Maybe you’d like to swap?”

“Heh onhe hing I han hase iss hay.”

Although I had no clue what she said, I assumed that was a yes and swapped the two. Even if she wanted to chug another six milkshakes before she was done, it was probably a better option. Seeing as she didn’t stop me, it seemed I was right. With that done, I grabbed my mammoth of a burger and concentrated as I took a few bites, carefully concealing my bites with the bulky meal.

A few minutes passed while Kara finished sipping her way through two more milkshakes and I got a decent way through the burger. Kara finally spoke coherently, although she probably felt full after so many milkshakes.

“Are you feeling better?”

“I will never forget that pain. How does it even hurt that much?”

“I know that my tastes are a little unique. You shouldn’t try to eat the same things I enjoy.”

“It was like every animal I ever ate came back for revenge in meat form.”

Well, that was a description. Even I knew my tastes tended towards the extreme, but you never knew who might actually have similar tastes. Definitely not Kana—at least not with spiciness. She picked up the normal hamburger and took a bite. Tears dripped down her face as she took another bite, chewing it with a smile before swallowing.

“This is what meat is supposed to taste like. I am so thankful for this meat.”

“I’m glad you are enjoying that. I was a little worried when you said you wanted to try my usual.”

“Are there any other landmines I should know about?”

“Well, you probably wouldn’t want to join my destress outings.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

Okay, so maybe burgers weren’t the best decision. But was it really that bad? I ate it all the time and never needed milkshakes. Were my taste buds broken? No, I could still taste just fine; I just liked stronger tastes. Oh, this—oops, I picked up my usual by accident. I quickly switched back to eating the special since that would be harder to carry.

“You really do eat that without flinching. Can you actually taste that?”

“Yeah, it is really good, but I am used to eating this kind of food.”

“I don’t see myself ever getting used to that.”

“You probably won’t, and I don’t expect you to. I can eat milder foods just fine, as you can see.”

“I’m not sure that is exactly mild.”

She had a point. Even for me, this burger was quite filling. Even if the taste was mild, the impact was not. I took a few more bites and then switched to smaller bites to finish the rest off. I even had some room for my usual, although Kara’s stare made me a little embarrassed.

“You don’t have to stare so much.”

“I’m honestly impressed that you can eat that with a straight face.”

“Right, but it is still a little…”

Kara took the hint and went back to eating her own hamburger. We finished our respective burgers in silence before our eyes met again. I glanced over at the remaining milkshake, then back at Kara.

“I don’t think I can finish that right now. I’ll take it with me unless you want it.”

“No, I’m fine. Do you have anywhere you’d like to go?”

“Maybe we can visit a model store. I noticed you liked models.”

“Would you enjoy it though?”

“I don’t know, but that is more reason to go, right?”

I never thought about it that way, but I understood her point. While I focused on whether she’d enjoy our date, she showed more interest in knowing if she’d enjoy being with me. I was in no hurry to dismiss my own thoughts, but I thought it was sweet. I smiled and got up.

“Shall we go, then?”