Look What You've Done

My eyelids felt heavy, and so did my breathing as I slowly regained consciousness. It wasn’t over. I was still alive.

My vision was blurry and my hearing was a mess. I couldn’t really distinguish anything in the room except that I now seemed to be tied to the wall with ropes around my wrists. Everything slowly came back to me, but when I took the last breath that finally cleared my mind, only then did I wish I were dreaming.

I snapped back to reality. I tried to break my bindings, but it was useless. No frustration or anger could give me enough strength to tear through those ropes and make my way to that chair, to those crying eyes calling for me.

“Ryota… is that you…? Where are we…? What have they done to us…”

“Atsuko… it’s you… I searched for you for so long…” I said, my voice cracking as tears filled my eyes.

She was finally here. Right in front of me, yet still out of reach. I knew those gray eyes. I recognized her immediately despite her long brown hair and the long green dress she wore. My whole body cried out her name, trying to reach her, to finally hold her in my arms and never let go of again. Tied to the chair where Hayate had been before I lost consciousness, she struggled to reach me, but just like me, she couldn’t do anything.

“They… killed you again… those bastards…” I murmured, enraged by the change in her appearance. “Hayate! Why did you kill her again?!” I shouted violently. “I promise, Atsuko, everything will be okay. This will all be over soon…” I tried to reassure her through her sobs.

“Killed her? Oh, you’re far from it, Ryota,” Hayate said as he stepped into view from my side, the doll still perched on his shoulder.

“Let her go! You killed her just to make me suffer more when I would see her! You got what you wanted, so let her go!”

“I never said I killed her. She did it to herself. Imagine the poor girl, completely terrified, running away to calm herself down and finding no one but her own ghosts. Then when she came back trying to find you, she found nothing. Consumed by her fears, she had no choice but to do it herself. You are the one who caused this. You’re the one who caused her death this time!”

“Never! She’d never do that. I know her better than you. You’re a terrible liar, Hayate.”

“I’m just joking around,” he laughed.

“I… I died…?” she asked, horrified.

“No, Atsuko… look at you. You’re in perfect shape right now. You’re made of flesh and blood, you can see me, you’re alive. You couldn’t be more alive than you are now, so dying wouldn’t even make sense if you’re sitting here…” I lied. I knew it, but seeing some of the panic leave her eyes helped clear my own mind a little.

“And you’re lying to her? Right to her face? Just because she can’t remember doesn’t mean you can lie to her. You should tell her everything,” Hayate whispered right into my face. “I’m doing you a favor by not shouting it out loud. Use that chance to tell her yourself, like a dying man.”

“I would never, Hayate. Go fuck yourself.” I spat at him and clenched my teeth in anger.

“You really have no respect for yourself,” he laughed as he wiped the saliva from his face.

“Why all of this?! Why did you capture her? Why did you capture me? Why?! Tell me, Hayate! What did we ever do to you to deserve this? You were my friend! I trusted you… I trusted you with everything.. and I thought you’d be the one to help me save Atsuko…”

I paused, sobs overtaking me every time I laid eyes on Atsuko.

“And yet… you were the one who cursed her… the one who killed her every single time… you were behind all of this. Isn’t that fucking right?!”

“See? That’s one of the most annoying things about you. You only ever see through the image of Atsuko without thinking about anything else! Do you know how unbearable that is?” he shouted, jamming a finger right into my nose hard enough for the nail to scratch my skin, though the wound healed before he even noticed it.

“Of course I think about her a lot! I care about her!”

“And you didn’t fucking care about me?!”

“I… what are you talking about?! Of course I cared about you! Do you know how much trouble I went through just to find you?!”

“No, you didn’t care. You were only hoping that when you found me, I could help you find her,” he said as he approached Atsuko and slowly caressed her hair despite the disgust and discomfort obvious on her face.

“Get your hands off her, Hayate! You have no right to touch her!”

“I. Don’t. Care. You’re in no position to stop me. But I’m just messing with you. I wouldn’t go as far as Leo would have with this kind of thing. I only worked with him because we shared a common goal: revenge against you—or, more simply, making you suffer and killing you. Though we weren’t really partners. He was so intellectually pathetic that he followed every single order I gave him. Even the messages you received were written by me. He couldn’t even do that himself,” he laughed before suddenly stopping. “A shame he had to die, though it all went according to plan. Still, I expected you to feel more disturbed by his death instead of relieved.”

He walked back toward me with an evil grin spread across his face.

“So all this time… you lied to me? I thought… we’d friends since childhood, so why now?”

“We were, of course. But over the past few years, it became easy to fool you into believing everything was still fine. But you never listened to me. Not once. When I reached out my hand and begged for you to pull me out of my torment, you weren't there. I always told you about this fear of ghosts that haunted me, but you never helped me. You didn't care. You only thought about yourself and Atsuko, acting as if nothing else in the world mattered. And when those ghosts and spirits began tormenting me, making me suffer and showing me increasingly horrifying things, you still weren't there for me,” he said, his voice trembling as he relived the memories.

I kept trying to free myself again and again. I had to escape. I had to find a way. My face betrayed my fear of the unknown. How else was I supposed to react? Atsuko needed my help, and I needed to get her far away from Hayate, somewhere he could never reach us ever again. But it was hopeless. I was no god. I was no monster. Just a cursed man with an ability that couldn’t save me here.

Hayate stepped closer and placed a hand on my shoulder like an old friend would, but a second later his grip tightened as if he wanted to crush my bones.

“I had no choice. I didn't want this at first, but my hatred for you kept growing. I couldn't stand you anymore. I couldn't stand that woman you clung to. But watching you both die quickly wasn’t satisfying enough. I wanted revenge for everything I endured. I won't turn back now. Nothing will change my mind. One of us is going to die here, and it will be you. I don't deserve death after everything I suffered through while you lived your peaceful little life. I had… faith in you… I believed you would help me fix everything. I'm not as clever or resourceful as you think I am… I needed your support, but you abandoned me,” he muttered while covering part of his face with his free hand. “So die, Ryota! Leave this world once and for all, you filthy murderer. You have no right to still be alive,” he screamed, spitting in rage directly into my face.

“Me… a murderer?” I laughed bitterly, stunned by his words. “Yes, I killed a man. Someone who deserved it! And I know that doesn’t erase the fact that I killed… but you? How many times did Atsuko die because of you?! Did you count? No, you didn’t! I stopped counting after a hundred times because otherwise I would’ve gone even more insane! I had to grieve her so many times that even seeing her again sometimes made me cry when I should’ve been happy! You don’t know what that did to me. But that’s exactly what you wanted, right?! That’s why you manipulated everyone’s memories, so I’d be the only one suffering while nobody stood beside me in my darkest moments! Poor Naoto…and just when I thought I’d finally found someone who could truly understand what I felt, you took him too. You should be the one chained to this wall, Hayate!”

“Your words are nothing but lies, Ryota, and you’re going to suffer for every single one of them,” he said playfully as he stepped away from me and pulled a screwdriver from his pocket.

“What… what are you going to do with that…?”

“Oh, this? Grit your teeth. That's the only kindness I'm going to offer you.”