8 - Everything I was hoping to hear

Even though the school festival was still months away, our film club decided to hold a meeting to plan ahead.

“Let the brainstorming begin!” our club president exclaimed whilst she dragged a whiteboard on wheels to our midst. “Who wants to go first?”

I had an idea I really didn’t want to budge on, yet I was reluctant to be the first to get a word out.

“Me! Me!” An upperclassman jumped up. “How about we transform our clubroom into a cinema?”

That got a positive reception, much to my dislike. I really didn’t want to, but I went against the stream.

“Uh… I don’t want to blow the idea off or anything, but isn’t that something any class or any club could do? I was thinking we could make a short film or a documentary of our own.”

“There she goes again,” someone complained.

To keep the tension from getting worse, our club president wrote both of our ideas in bullet points, “Okay, keep the ideas coming, everyone!”

“Couldn’t we combine those two?” I suggested, in an attempt to sound less dismissive, but still giving us the opportunity to create something ourselves."

She awkwardly looked at the other members’ reactions before dismissing me, “Let’s hear some other ideas first.”

Before another idea was thrown into the mix, there was a knock on the door.

“Is that the new guy?!” The club president jumped from excitement as steam blew out of her nose. “Come in, come in!”

Opening the door was the ever infamous Komiya.

“Oh, the other new guy.”

“Film students, I’m here to answer your call for new members. I would be pleased if you’d have me,” he bowed.

“We’re in the middle of a meeting for the school festival, so just sit down for now.”

Instead of taking one of the cushions like everyone else was using as a seat, he sat criss-cross, uncomfortably close to me. He leaned in and whispered, “Am I welcome here? Feels kinda tense.”

I gently shoved him away by the knee touching my leg, “Of course it’s tense. The club president had been hyping up a potential new member all day just for it to be you.”

It was hard to admit I was the cause of this tension. He goes through this kind of feeling every day, so I hoped he didn’t mind.

“Better make myself of use then.”

The meeting had already resumed, no one really sharing any valuable ideas, at least to my standards. Until Komiya-kun spoke up.

“It’s not really my place to step in, I think, but I want to share my thoughts regardless. Can I, prez?”

“Go ahead?” Her eyes darted from member to member.

“Running a cinema sounds fun, so does a café in the theme of a chosen movie, but don’t you think that anyone could do that? I like the second bullet point the most, one that really seals itself as ‘The film club did this,’ you know?”

“Ishiwata said the same thing,” an upperclassman noted.

“What’s up with you two? Are you banding together to have things your way?”

“Yeah, why else would a random guy, not even part of our club, barge in and agree word for word with you, Ishiwata?”

In a tick of a second, the entire club room seemed even more against my idea in a hostile manner.

“Was that your plan?” The club president asked.

“No, we didn’t plan this… He just so happened to agree with me.”

As if it couldn’t go any worse, Komiya-kun spoke my mind once more.

“Not my place to speak, I’m sure. Anyway, if an outsider like me thinks that the second idea is the best one, isn’t that very valuable feedback for you? Besides, there’s not much prep needed for running your own cinema, right? Couldn’t you just combine the first and the second idea? Run a cinema and show off your own—”

“That’s enough,” the club president interrupted. “You two can leave.”

Without making much of a fuss, the two of us left.

“Did I say something I shouldn’t have?”

“The opposite,” I forced a smile, “You said everything I was hoping to hear. Thank you.”

He defensively held his hands up, “Anytime... Wait, are you sure you want to thank me for leaving you without a club?”

With crossed arms, I sighed, “This club isn’t at all what I thought it’d be. All they do is geek out over the tip of the iceberg, most popular, mainstream, newly released movies! Every time I mention anything with a target audience slightly narrower than the general population, their eyes roll over!”

Since he wasn’t stopping my rambling, I didn’t either.

“And that club president, she couldn’t name five movies from the top of her head, even if her life depended on it! The only reason she’s the one in the lead is because the guys have it in for her. Jeez.”

“Not to throw you on a rail, but where are we headed?”

“The faculty office! I’m leaving this club today. Today, you hear?”

Lately, I’ve been bottling up a lot of frustration, so letting it out like this was a little refreshing.

“Sounds like the right move. Is there another club on your mind?”

“I’ll make my own if I have to! I really want to work on a creative project and the school festival seems like the perfect deadline to work towards…”

“You’re burnt in passion,” he laughed, getting yet another saying wrong. “Where does your fire come from?”

My fire, huh…

“My grandfather. Watching movies with him is how we used to spend time when I was little.” To distract myself from a wave of nostalgia washing over me, I slightly directed the topic elsewhere, “See this hat? He’s the one who gave it to me.”

“Seems like you really admire your grandfather.”

“I sure do!” I bumped my chest, full of pride, “I know creating our own…”

My words trailed off when the both of us noticed Suzumi-chan at the other end of the hallway.

He had been kind enough to listen to me complain this entire time. Following my standards, one hand washes the other, I gave him the push he needed.

“This is your chance to have a normal conversation with her. Don’t squander it, okay?”

“On it. I’ll report back in the library tomorrow.”

I had a feeling I would be hearing it from Suzumi-chan first.

Right after parting ways with him, I noticed Miori from afar. A little disinclined to approach her, recalling the bitter way we parted last time, I was in luck when she approached me first.

“Noriko!”

“Oh, hey, Miori.”

“Heading home?”

I suppose I could postpone resigning from the club until tomorrow.

“Sure am, you too?”

Not much later, the two of us walked home the old way, without the convenience store detour. The ominous weather foreshadowed in what kind of way this day would end.

“By the way, Noriko…”

“Yeah?”

She put her serious face on, “What’s your relationship with the creep?”

“Hm?”

I had a feeling playing dumb wouldn’t get me out of this one.

“I saw you parting ways in the hallway earlier, and a friend of mine saw the two of you on a bike. I didn’t believe it at first, but after the speech thing, and seeing it with my own eyes just now confirmed it. It’s not unlike you to keep secrets, but I thought you’d at least tell me.”

I thought it was audacious for her to say, especially since she doesn’t open up to me at all these days. Still, I was in the wrong and felt a little guilty about keeping it from her.

To properly face her, I stood still, “I’m sorry. We became acquainted at the start of the school year and kind of became friends along the way.”

“Uh-huh, friends you say? I heard from a classmate that you two looked quite the couple on his bike. Are you keeping more secrets?”

I shook my head, “I’m telling the truth! We’re just friends and he offered me a ride home because it was dark out.”

“Hmmm,” I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but if I knew, I would’ve certainly stopped her from getting her words out, “Why the creep, though? You’re wasting yourself on the likes of him. I’m sure your grandfather is rolling in his grave—”

My hand went through her face, all on its own. It stinged and trembled. More than my hand hurt the words she said, yet her face must’ve hurt the most I’m sure, because I didn’t hold back at all.

Even though I was the one who hit her, tears were welling up in my eyes. Ever since the start of high school, I felt weird about our friendship, but the tears I spilled tainting the road told our story’s finale.

Without saying a word, she pushed me on the ground and walked off.

I took another route home, crying tears disguised by the rain the entire way.

If we were really friends, I think she would’ve asked me to eat lunch with her at least once. Right?

Ostracised from the film club, in a fight with Miori and only left with Komiya-kun to talk to sporadically. For the first time, I truly understood how he must’ve felt all this time.