Under the Tree

Finally, what was left of the sun disappeared beyond the horizon. What little warmth there was had gone with it, leaving only this sharp, cold sting against the back of my neck.

Neither of us moved.

Our breaths came out with a cloud of vapor, hanging in between us for a little longer than I wanted them to.

Did I mess up?

I kept asking myself that question. Maybe it was too much. Or maybe it wasn't enough to convince her. At worst... It might've backfired, and now she thinks I'm a total nut case.

I tried to keep my expression steady, but the longer she stared at me without saying anything, the more nervous I grew. Even now, I could still hear my own voice in my head.

Yeah. I meant it when I called you cute.

Who even says something like that so seriously?

Part of me wanted to take it back, not because it was a lie — which it wasn't — but because hearing it aloud made me realize how cringey I sounded.

Still, I wanted to understand what I was trying to say, even if just a little.

Suddenly, Chihara fell to a squat. She shut her lips tight, raised my scarf to cover her mouth, and screamed without letting it out. If anything, it sounded more like a boiling kettle than a scream.

"C-Chihara?" I gulped, putting a hand up, but no more than that.

"Seriously..." she mumbled.

Once again, our eyes locked, but the atmosphere was different. Her brows were curved, her lips uneven, and most notably... There was a visible red glow on her cheeks.

"And here I was, stressing about today for no reason," she said, almost incoherently. "God, why did I listen to my friends?"

"Uh... You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just..."—a sigh, and then she looked at me again—"Sorry for doubting you, Kinoshita."

"Nothing you need to apologize for. Although... It is kind of funny. You might be the first person ever to think I'm a flirt. If Haruto were here right now, he would've died from laughter."

She buried her head in her knees, groaning while mumbling something I couldn't make out.

"Don't worry, Chihara," I said. "I can see where you were coming from. And your friends were right to be cautious, so don't blame them."

"I know. It's just... You've been so kind to me. When Kenji cheated on me, I was so hurt. I kept asking myself what was wrong with me, but then... I met you. You made me realize that nothing was wrong with me. I just didn't make the right choice back then. That's why I feel like such an idiot right now for thinking you had... u-ulterior motives."

Smiling, I squatted in front of her to meet her eyes. 

"Well, hey. Think about it this way. You just got out of a messy breakup, and some random guy starts being a little too nice to you. It's natural to doubt his intentions."

"Wasn't I the one who started it, though...?" she asked.

"Uhh... T-that's true, but regardless, there's nothing wrong with being a little careful. Take from a fellow victim of cheating. I would know all too well how you feel."

When I reached a hand out, she stared at it for a second. Then, with a newfound smile, she took it, and I helped her up.

"Thanks, Kinoshita."

"You already know what I'm gonna say, don't you?"

She let out a soft giggle while I was left to calm my quickening heartbeat. All she did was giggle, but that was enough to make my chest stir. The fact that our hands were still together made it even worse.

"Chihara— no... Ouka."

It was faint, but I heard it.

A gasp.

"Y-yes... Kazuha?"

"I..."

Dammit. I can feel myself fumbling in real time, and I can say with certainty that it is not a good feeling.

"Ah, screw it. I'm just gonna say it. I... I like you, Ouka. A lot. So that's why... I was wondering if you'd... like to go out with me."

Her reaction was subtle, if not completely lacking. Not that I was expecting any kind of reaction, but... I thought her eyes would change, at the very least.

"Yeah, so... That's... what I wanted to say?"

Again, she didn't say anything. The anticipation was killing me, so much so that I was just about ready to call it quits.

That was until I noticed it. Her lips were trembling, almost like she was biting the inside.

"Hey," I said nervously. "Uhh... You okay—"

Suddenly, she shouted, "Ah, dang it!"

"Wha...?"

One second, she was as stiff as a rock, and the next, everything shifted. Her eyes were wide, and her face was flushed red.

"I knew it," she said. "I knew all along you would confess to liking me, and I was gonna be so cool about it. I replayed this scene a thousand times in my head, but... but...! Using my given name all of a sudden? That's not fair!"

That rendered me completely speechless.

"Umm... I can... go back to using your surname if you'd—"

"No! I mean... You don't have to. I was just..."

Without another word, she turned around and took a deep, audible breath.

"Kino... K-Kazuha."

"...Yeah?"

"You said you... you like me. Do you mean that? Like... Really mean it?"

"Um... Remember when I said that it's hard for me to say things I don't mean? Admitting something like this... would be a hard lie for me to tell."

Finally, she turned to look at me, albeit only slightly. Her face lit up like a red beacon, not like I had any right to talk. Despite the cold, it felt like I'd been sitting in a sauna for the past hour.

"Well... I... really like you too, Kazuha."

My mind went blank.

"R-really?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" she mumbled. "Yeah, really. As if it wasn't super obvious that I liked you too."

"Oh, I just... I guess I'm..."—I couldn't keep myself from smiling a little—"I don't know. It was always in the back of my head that you might like me back, but... I didn't wanna assume something as drastic as that."

She stood there for a second, her eyes glistening in the dim light. Then, she slowly made her way over to me, stopping only a step away. Loose strands of hair fell across her face, hiding whatever expression she wore.

"It's cold," she mumbled.

I didn't answer. Instead, I closed the gap between us and slipped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her against my chest.

"Better?" I asked.

"Mhm... Hey, Kazuha."

"Yes, Ouka?"

"I'm a bit of a mess sometimes too."

"...Is that so?"

"Yeah. I might seem like an outgoing person, and I do enjoy going out, but I'd rather do something more productive. I don't mind crowds, but it's a different story when I'm at the center of attention. That's why I go out past midnight to get away from all the drama. I like to think I'm easy to talk to. I yap a lot, so if you give me an opening, I will yap to my heart's content. I don't like liars either, but... If I'm being honest, everything about me is a lie. I make myself seem perfect even though I'm nowhere close. Even then... Despite all of my flaws... Am I still enough for you?"

There was a hint of sadness in her voice, almost like she was afraid that I might change my mind. I'd already made my decision long ago, so that was never going to be an option anyway.

Gently, I took her hand.

"Can you feel it, Ouka?" I asked.

"...Yeah. Your heart."

"Even something as small as this can send my heart racing. Still wondering whether you're enough for me?"

Suddenly, her body relaxed, almost fully leaning against mine. She turned her head back and forth as if trying to find a comfortable spot.

"No. I think I know."

Until now, I wondered how this moment would go. A part of me thought she might reject me. In that case, I wouldn't know what to do. Of course, I'd respect her decision, but anything after that...

I guess I don't have to think about that anymore.

"Kazuha."

"What is it?"

"Thank you. For being with me. And... for helping me."

"...That goes both ways. You helped me too, you know.

"Mm."

The winds picked up.

"Kazuha."

"Yeah?"

"It's cold, so hold me tighter."

And I did.

"Kazuha."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to say your name again."

For a while, we stayed like that. Silent, but together. Just like every other midnight.

Eventually, she gently pushed me away.

"I have to go now, Kazuha. I promised my friends I'd hang out with them tonight."

"Ah. In that case, you should go."

"Mhm. So... I'll see you at midnight?"

"...Yeah. See you then."

With one last smile, she skipped toward the festival, disappearing beyond the hill. Meanwhile, I kept walking around the park, ruminating on everything that just happened.

We're going out now. Me... and Chihara Ouka.

I stopped next to a small pond, unable to keep myself from smiling.

Tomorrow will be different. But before anything else, I should head home and take a nap. There's still one more midnight to get through.

Kinoshita at Midnight

End