The Lunacy of the Marquessa Ambrillia

Above our heads, thousands of dots glisten in the void of the night. Barely bothered by the full moon.

    I feel grateful this night isn’t cloudy, or else I wouldn’t know what to focus on.

    Sat beside me on the rooftop, heather offering us a comfortable seat, Ambrillia observes the sky in silence.

    Oblivious to the freshness of the breeze, warmth spreads in my chest.

“I hope that she can’t notice it.”

    Odd.

    Even when I’m surrounded by other people, usually, I don’t find it different from the time I spend on my own. I do enjoy it when it is to express my evilness, when I’m able to drink in my victims’ despair. But. I never felt so appeased. As if this warmth was numbing any unnecessary thought. Did I ever feel something akin to this?

    Brief echoes of the past flash through my mind. Laughs shared with my father. Times when I was small enough for him to carry me at arm’s length.

    Ahh,.. yes. Before his death.

    Discreetly, I glance at Ambrillia.

“Since when do I feel so close to her?”

    In an attempt to distract me from a silence more dangerous than words, one that is disturbingly comfortable, I reflect on the absurdity of the present situation. I can’t fully let my guard down, after all. Not by the side of a woman who endangers my peaceful villain life.

    A faint chuckle escapes me.

“Anything funny to share?” Ambrillia glances at me.

“Ohh, no, I was simply considering how ridiculous all this is. I should be terrorising nobles by my sole presence right now, not stargazing on the roof of an orphanage in the company of…” I trail off.

“The woman who stole your evil heart during the last full moon?”

    The heart in question misses a beat.

    An attack calls for an attack… If this is the path she takes, the path of psychological torture, then I shall respond in kind! Fortunately, one of the orphans already gave me the perfect answer. Ambrillia will soon understand that she’s messing with the wrong evil mastermind.

“Last full moon, huhh?” I snort. “Didn’t I steal it before, though? I heard that your thoughts have circled around me for years now.”

“For devil’s sake!! Why is it so embarrassing to say when she’s the one exposed?? Isn’t there another way of fighting her, one that doesn’t imply self-destruction?”

“Yes.” Ambrillia replies without missing a beat.

    COULDN’T SHE HESITATE FOR A HOLY SECOND? Woman, have some shame!

    It’s only when I turn a horrified gaze at her that I notice the faint blush colouring her cheeks. Her soft cheeks leant against her shoulder as she gazes at me, her gloved hands resting against the heather…

“I won’t deny it. And this wasn’t the first time I saw you.” She resumes. “In fact, the first time was a few years ago, during a journey in Oneixium.”

“Of course you’re about to say that you encountered me prior to my evil days.” I snort. “So predictable.”

“Silly.” She reaches out to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Didn’t I tell you that I love that side of you?”

“Not only villains tell lies.” I frown defiantly at her. “They are just more convincing at it.”

    Only the wind answers at first, blowing her amber locks back and forth.

“Very well. I intended to keep for myself the memory of that day,” she resumes, “but if you insist, I guess I can make an exception.”

“Huhh?” I hold back the urge to flee. “Rich of you to say when the grem- orphans here seem to know quite a lot.”

“Not this one. This memory, it belongs only to me.” Ambrillia pauses, collecting her thoughts.

༻❦︎༺

    Five years. It was five years ago.

    I was on a stroll through town, leaving that candy feathers shop when I heard nearby screams. As you can imagine, I was quite intrigued, so I searched for their origin.

    Luckily, it didn’t take me long before I spotted a group of men.

    Most of them were in uniforms. Guards gathered around the lone figure of a man, making sure he couldn’t escape.

    While he was wriggling on the ground, letting out some gross sounds, I saw the figure of a young man approach. Unbothered, hands clasped behind his back, he didn’t hurry. As if the world could wait, should wait for him.

    Once close enough, he gestured for the guards to release their hold on the villager. Freed from his restraints, the latter rolled onto his back, leaning on his forearms.

“Let me go… Just let me go!” He begged.

    Ignoring his pleas, the young man approached him further.

“Ohh, daring to ask for a commoner who just spit on his lord.”

    His hair crimson, his eyes golden. It was you.

    Not letting the villager have any time to reply, you took a step further, crushing his chest with your foot, forcing him back to the ground.

“Where do you think you’re going? The dust suits you quite well.” You paused to lean forward with a smirk, until your head hovered over the villager’s. “I’m feeling magnanimous today, though. So, I’ll give you a second chance. Kneel before me and lick my boots until there’s no spot left. Show me that you can use that saliva of yours wisely.”

“Cursed noble…” The villager paled.

“Mmm. Would you prefer the rats’ company?”

    I couldn’t keep track for much longer, for the realisation struck me at once.

    This was my first love…

༻❦︎༺

    If love is a curse, it knows no good nor evil. It corrupts all kinds of hearts.

    I begin to understand how futile it was to hope to dispel it by getting to know Ambrillia better. To call her boring is to call a rainbow dull.

    And if this is true, if my darkness has compelled her for five long years now without her crossing to the other side… I can’t help but admire her. Maybe I can yearn for the same. Her light won’t corrupt me if I don’t allow it to. I simply have to try hard enough.

    This way, I can fall for her without fearing being dragged to the bright side. If I failed, it would mean that she is stronger than I am.

    Maybe we can both remain our twisted selves.

“Besides,” Ambrillia adds, “I don’t find it ridiculous for you to be here.”

“Circled by good people?”

    I raise an eyebrow, mocking.

    She smiles, amused.

“You too are an orphan. Your place is among us.”

    Her words catch me by surprise. My eyes widening, I can’t take them off her. Unfair. That way she has to bring warmth to everything around her. Unbearable. To try resisting her attraction.

    Leaning forward, I can’t resist her any longer.

“Huhh?”

    Her surprised voice is so close to my ears as I lean my cheek against the side of her head, brushing her amber hair as I keep her close to me. My arms wrapped around her waist, her back pressed to my chest.

    I wish she couldn’t escape me. I wish I could keep her close enough to avoid feeling the cold that lingers when she leaves. A coldness that will return soon, though. The moment the evening reaches its end.

    A pinch in the heart.

    Ahh… So that was it… The reason why the past weeks seemed so dull once Ambrillia left Oneixium.

“I missed you.”

    A whisper.

    One that is only hers to hear.

“Rowan, are you…”

    The warmth of her tiny hands covering mine. I reach out my free one, holding a pastel blue candy feather.

“Simply complying with your awful traditions.”

    Even if this is just the feather I got earlier from that gremlin, even if this is just for that game of theirs, I didn’t forget her wish to receive one such in a more… meaningful context.

    The possibility that I just misled her lingers in my mind enough to let a smirk appear over my face.

“I’m glad that you came tonight.” She utters after a while. “I wasn’t sure that you’d come after all the letters you ignored.”

    Not that her banshee gave me such a choice.

    Wait.

“Letters?” I frown. “You didn’t send me any.”

“So you didn’t receive them?.. I mean, that’s also what I thought. The last one I sent… I was surprised it didn’t make you react.”

    These letters which mysteriously vanished are of lesser concern. I feel more reassured to know that she actually did send me a few.

“…What did you put in that last letter?” I eye her suspiciously.

“That’s a secret.” She replies quicker than necessary.

    Maybe the loss of these letters was a blessing in disguise.

    Unless… is it a sign that no happy ending awaits us? The grim thought plays with my mind as I can’t help but recall my father’s fate…