There Was No Other Way - Rei

I should have taken the cookie box with me.

I sighed for the tenth time this morning as I organized the lab equipment that had already been organized ten minutes ago, sorted the folder in alphabetical order, and answered the bitchy customer complaints professionally. I even cleaned the apartment, surprising myself, as I stared at the trash bag that sat proudly in the corner.

I needed a sugar rush to get rid of the muddy feeling in my chest.

My phone rang with that obnoxious anime ringtone that Taiga picked for me—not the burner phone—so I let it ring till the last note. The name ‘Haru’ popped up together with a voicemail and a text. I glanced at it and tossed the phone on the bed. Desperate musclehead.

I touched my lips, missing the taste of Taiga’s cookie and his kiss.

I fiddled with the prototype Hoe Glass in my hand, then put it on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. Full broom of red lines. Neat.

Then I opened a manila folder titled “Taiga” and pulled out a random photo. A candid photo of Taiga, of course, printed out just in case. The photo stared back at me. I stared back at the photo. Scientifically.

However, I could not bring myself to look at the picture with the Hoe Glass activated. What if the face recognition feature did not work well on a picture? I tested it on a client's picture that I printed out from their social media before. But this was different. This was Taiga. And I, as a devoted scientist, would not allow any false positives.

I needed to check on Taiga. I grabbed my bag, the prototype glass, and the manila folder. For “calibration purposes”. Obviously.

***

Taiga welcomed me to his apartment like nothing had happened. Like I hadn’t just ghosted him for the past few days. No pointed silence, no loaded look, no “So you are back”. Just that same unhurried smile and his arms around me—careful and gentle, like he was afraid he might startle me with that.

I let him and even lean into the hug slightly.

I preferred his bear hug. This gentle version unsettled me more. Like he was deliberately handling me with care. Like he had already decided that I was worth the patience. I didn’t know what to do with that, so I focused on the cookie box instead.

As if reading my mind, Taiga gestured to a new cookie box on the kitchen counter. Did he just love baking, or did he predict I was coming? Either way, my hand was already reaching for the box.

Taiga put on his kitty apron and started cooking, humming that same tune he always hummed, completely at ease. His wrist flipped the pan effortlessly. The smell of whatever he was making curled through the apartment like it belonged there. Like I belonged there. All I could think about was his kiss a few days ago.

The cookie made a crunchy sound in my mouth and snapped me back to reality. I needed to accomplish the mission, the reason for coming here.

I took the Hoe Glass out of my purse. My hands were shaking. My heart was beating fast. This should be easy, a simple calibration test. It would be fast, one look, and done. Then I can record what I saw in my database, my manila folder, like I had been doing with my clients.

Why did I care too much? Why did I fear what Taiga’s line showed me?

I braced myself as I put on the glass; it was cold against my face. Even without looking, I knew the red lines were blooming from my head like a disaster I’d gotten used to. I turned to look at Taiga instead, who was now humming an anime tune while flipping the pan. The red that emerged from his head–once just data, just fancy UI—now felt like something reaching into my chest and twisting.

A red line that connected to me, thick and twitching, like it was alive. It was expected.

And then I saw it. Past the line connecting to me, past the expected data—another one. Thinner but distinct. Leading somewhere that my database returned nothing. No profile. No match. No resolution.

I ran the scan twice. Still nothing.

It might not matter where it led to. The fact that Taiga did not have just one line, just for me, was already a hard pill to swallow. I clicked on a small record button on the side of the glass. Data collection. It was the point of this visit. I was here for data.

I put the glass back in my purse before I could look any longer. My heart twisted, and my stomach ached. Like something had reached in, squeezed everything it found, and wasn’t letting go.

False positive. It had to be. This glass wasn’t designed for—no; I tested it on a printed photo before; it worked fine. No social media presence then. Some people went off the grid. Or an older relative. But Taiga was twenty; everyone had a digital footprint at twenty. Ex-lover whose data was scrubbed. That happened. People deleted themselves. But the connection was active, the line was bright, which meant—

No. That was impossible. I was his first girlfriend. I made sure of that. And I kept track of his record during the time we were dating too. Must be a false positive. It had to be.

There was no other way. There was no other way. There was no other way.

I reached for the manila folder out of habit, flipping it open. Pages of observations stared back at me. Years of data. Patterns, timestamps, behavior notes. All of it, and I still managed to miss this.

Taiga’s soft voice snapped me out of my trance. I hadn’t noticed him move. One moment, he was at the stove; next, his hand was on my shoulder. There was beef stew on the table, with a steaming aroma, like he had timed it perfectly. Like he always timed everything perfectly.

How long had he been watching me sit there, staring at nothing?

How could he be so calm standing there, humming, completely unbothered, while I was coming apart at the seams over something he didn’t even know I’d seen.

How could I let this slip under my radar?

I knew why it slipped. I stopped looking because I didn’t want to find anything. Because finding something meant I cared. And caring meant…

It didn’t matter. Happiness had made me sloppy. I had lowered my defenses because I trusted him—actually trusted him—and the moment I did, the tiger moved.

The tiger had been patient long enough. And I had walked straight into his den, manila folder and all, and handed him every reason to finally stop waiting.

I swat Taiga’s hand away and ran out of the apartment. Again.

I left the folder on the kitchen table. I didn’t realize it when I was already on the street, and by then it didn’t matter. Because I was already running and I couldn’t stop.