The Solace

Tuesday Afternoon
19h48

Stepping into the arboretum usually brought a smile to my face, and today was no different. The hissing doors parted to a vista of green and nurtured growth. ‘Efficiency’ was one of Management’s tenets, but I suspect the arboretum’s designer was allowed a smidgen more creativity. Saluting the single gravel path growing from the entrance were two rows of cypress trees. Those stopped at a circular pond where two benches observed a solitary fountain. My colleagues with better-than-average hearing claimed they could hear the rippling waters from the entrance. Years of wearing headphones robbed me of that ability. Luckily, I was more than capable of picking up on the birdsong. For a long time, I was convinced the ‘birds’ were little more than speakers, or maybe a drone buzzing at set intervals. Imagine my surprise when I found myself startled by a flutter of wings before a creature took to the skies.

A pity the arboretum’s designer didn’t extend their creativity toward a simple summer breeze.

The gravel crunched satisfyingly as I continued into the arboretum. My goal was simple: to occupy a bench and ask the rippling waters for some solace from the facility’s troubles. Turns out somebody else had the same idea. The blond hair hinted at my colleague’s identity, but confirmation came via stifled sobs.

“N?” Her hands ceased massaging her eyes when she heard my voice. She didn’t say a word. Her communication was limited to a turn of the head and a vague nod in my direction. I stopped. Should I join her? Or reply with a nod of my own as I deviate into the fake forest before returning to my room. I opted for the latter. Heaven knows if I were in her position, I’d want to be left alone. “Sorry, I’ll be off.”

“No... no...” She shook her head. A sob cut off any remaining words she might have had, but scooching slightly to her right was enough invitation. Are you sure? I waited a few more seconds before accepting her invitation.

“Sorry for intruding,” I said when I sat down. “Hades didn’t tell me anybody else was in here.”

“Why should he?” A sniff accompanied her hand as she wiped away a tear. “You’re allowed to come here just as much as I am.”

“You might have wanted to be left one, all things considered.”

N nodded. “Maybe. But maybe it will help... talking to someone.”

“I see.” I focused on the fountain. Its water was lightish green, yet there were no signs of algae in the pond. Maybe they had a biotank below? Or did Management add food coloring for the aesthetic effect?

“We came here for our first date.” N sniffed. “Maybe it was slightly corny, but when your world consists of steel, glass, and ceramics, you take any bit of green that you can get. He didn’t bring me a bouquet, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t prepared.” Her eyes didn’t leave the fountain, but she smiled at the memory. “He had a blanket and two packed lunches. We spread the blanket on the other side of the fountain. And... and after we ate, we merely stared at the ceiling as we chatted the night away. He kept trying to convince me that Management simulated stars against the ceiling. It was nonsense, of course, but we must have lain there until at least one in the morning. We... we made love for the first time that night. They say you shouldn’t do so until the third date, but we, well, we weren’t going to wait that long.

“We were inseparable after that. We always found a way to do our projects together, even those with little overlap. Who knows, maybe that was Management’s way of supporting us. We never received warnings about our relationship. Only that we would be fired if I were to get pregnant. Assholes don’t even know that I’m sterile.”

“You are? I figured you used birth control.”

N merely shook her head. “It’s a birth defect. I haven’t told anyone except M. He... he was going to propose, you know? He would extend his contract for another year so we could leave at the same time. We were going to go to Greece, or some small island nation, and start a family. I would undergo surgery, and we would have adopted if that didn’t work. Five children was the plan. We always wanted a larger family.” She wiped away another tear as the sobs threatened their return. “And now... now he’s gone...” Her tears finally broke through her resistance. “And I’ll never see him again! How will I find him, V? Two swollen eyes turned toward me for the first time since I sat down. “I don’t know where he lives, or even what he would do. We didn’t make any plans if we got separated... and now... now...”

I could do little more than wrap an arm around her shoulder and let her cry to her heart’s content. Not a single word came to mind. There wasn’t anything that I could say. She would never see M again. He wouldn’t be waiting for her outside the facility, and there wouldn’t be any miraculous reunion in N’s future. I honestly wished I could tell her the truth.

“Have... have you ever lost a loved one, V?” N asked.

“Sorry?”

“Have you ever lost a loved one?”

“I...” I started to speak, but stopped. You aren’t permitted to discuss any information or events occurring outside this facility. Failure to adhere will result in termination of employment. I bit my lip. “I’m... an orphan.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve never met my parents. My earliest memories were those of an orphanage.”

“I understand.” N nodded against my shoulder. “Have... you taken lovers before, then?”

“No.”

“Then you don’t really understand, do you?” She pulled herself away.

“Maybe, but I have lost close ones over the years.”

“It’s not the same, is it?”

“I guess not.” I sighed. “But I know there are three different types of people when it comes to sadness: those who get angry, those who want company, and those who want to be left alone. While I can’t emphasize with you, I believe you’d like me to stay for at least a couple more minutes.”

She smiled. “And here I thought Y was the psychiatrist.”

“You’d be amazed at what you can learn by watching people.”

“I prefer to be mixed with the crowds rather than observe them.”

“Fair enough.” I nodded, turning my attention to the fountain as a silence fell between us.

“Hey, V?”

“Hmm?”

“You actually had it a tiny bit wrong,” said N.

“How so?”

“I’m the type of person who would like to be left alone in times of sadness.”

“I see.”

“But I’m glad you’re the one who walked in today.” N smiled, perhaps the first genuine one since Management broke the news.

“How so?” I asked.

“Well, H is always grumpy, and T is about the most emotionally driven. Did you know that she and F have been at it in the jacuzzi?”

Please don’t make me think of that again. I winced at remembering that. “Yeah, I heard the rumors.”

“M walked in on them once. He refused to go in there after that.”

I chuckled at the thought. “I can hardly blame him.”

“As for O, he’s a sweet guy, but he’s... distant. I never really know where I stand with him, whereas R is as blunt as you can get. Plus...” She let her voice trail off.

“Plus?”

“It’s...” Her gaze turned distant as she searched for the right words. “... there’s something not quite right with him. It’s like he’s keeping himself on a tight leash. O’s the only one I’ve heard him talk about anything personal. So like I said, I’m glad you’re the one I’m talking to. But... if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone with my thoughts for a little bit.”

“Of course. But...”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

N looked at me for a few seconds before the realization hit her. “Don’t worry. I’m not the type.”

“I believe that. You know where to find me if the bad thoughts start appearing.” I smiled when N gave me a nod, taking that as my signal to start heading for the door. Behind me, N only continued to stare into the water, perhaps hoping to find her answer in there.