Chapter 18

-What are you doing up so late? (Arthur)

-Could I ask you the same thing? (captain)

-I... couldn't relax and sleep. (Arthur)

-So there are two of us. (captain)

Captain goes back to looking at the stars with a relaxed smile on his face.

He looks a lot more open drunk than usual. (Arthur)

-It was quite a day, wasn't it? (captain)

Arthur was surprised that he had said that, it seemed that the drink really made him want to talk more.

-Yes, it was really quite a day. (Arthur)

-Would you like a can of beer? (captain)

-No thank you. I do not drink. (Arthur)

-Huh, is it? You really are a weird guy. (captain)

-You think? (Arthur)

-Yes, not many refuse a drink. (captain)

-I could say the same about you. (Arthur)

-Like this? I can be a little on mine, but if someone offered me a cold one, I would... (Captain)

-I'm not talking about that, I was referring to you also being a little weird. (Arthur)

-Ohhhhh, it's the first time someone says that to me. (captain)

-I'm sorry, a soldier saying that to a captain is really... (Arthur)

-Hahahaahahah, it's okay, don't worry. Hahahahahaha. (captain)

Arthur is a little embarrassed for having said that to a superior.

-But then... why do you think I'm weird? (captain)

Arthur is a little afraid to say and ends up looking away.

-Come on, no need to be scared because I'm your captain. We're just having a casual conversation, I won't scold you for that. So you can talk without being afraid of consequences. (captain)

-Because you're the only person I know, who doesn't want to speak the name to anyone at all. You are the only one who avoids at all costs relating more to the people around you. Why don't you want to do this? (Arthur)

The captain's playful posture breaks, he ends up looking seriously at Arthur, his happy eyes starting to show seriousness and emptiness.

-What are you so afraid of? (Arthur)

In his mind, the captain sees a child's face smiling and running, she always seemed cheerful and being laughing under a cozy atmosphere.

-Ahhhh... (Captain)

-I'm sorry, I think that was pretty intrusive. (Arthur)

-It is not alright. You were just curious, I don't blame you. (captain)

The captain starts looking up at the stars again, only this time with a sad look on his face.

-Today is really going to be a hard day for me to get to sleep. (captain)

-I'm sorry captain! I passed... (Arthur)

-Go to sleep Arthur. Tomorrow will be a busy day. (captain)

-Okay... (Arthur)

Arthur leaves, leaving his captain alone under the stars of that night. Looking back for a few seconds he looked at his captain's face, he couldn't see very well from that distance and in that dark, but to him it looked like he was crying at that moment.

The next morning, soldiers are called in for special shooting training.

-Why did they call us to train? Shouldn't we take our posts? (recruit)

-That doesn't smell good to me. For the battalion that takes care of discreet matters to be training shooting... (Thomas)

Everyone starts to get a little tense because of that situation, not knowing what could happen to them.

-Do you think it will take a long time for all this to end? (Arthur)

The companions look at Arthur wondering at his question.

-I don't know, I think this war is far from over, even taking its source they still have some resources to be spent. (Thomas)

-Why are you asking that? (Mike)

-Nothing, I was just thinking out loud. (Arthur)

Mike looks at Arthur who looked a bit crestfallen.

After practice we went straight to our dorm, it looks like the captain was coming to give us some news. (Arthur)

Thomas opens his suitcase and takes out a picture frame from inside. In this portrait he was beside an extremely smiling woman.

-Who is this? (Mike)

-My wife. (Thomas)

-I didn't know you were married. (Arthur)

-We are not yet, but I promised her that as soon as this was all over I would marry her. (Thomas)

-She seems to be very smiling. (Arthur)

-She is... she was always smiling and laughing at silly things. (Thomas)

-Very different from you hahahaha. (Mike)

-Hunf, she also kept saying that I was very serious and that I should smile more... (Thomas)

Arthur observes the sincere expression on Thomas' face, that look he had as he looked at his beloved was something that caught his curiosity.

-How is it? (Arthur)

-Which? (Thomas)

-You know, being in a relationship? (Arthur)

-Don't tell me Arthur, by any chance you never dated?! (Mike)

-Actually I have, but I ended up breaking up with her. (Arthur)

-Why? (Mike)

-I thought it was better not to create relationships with her. I was afraid to make her hurt if something happened to me, I don't want her to spend the rest of her life regretting it. (Arthur)

-Um, how pathetic. (Thomas)

Arthur looks at Thomas a little puzzled that he should have responded that way.

-Hey Thomas, that answer wasn't very nice... (Mike)

-You have no idea how much it can hurt someone, losing the person you've loved all your life... (Arthur)

-So tell me something Arthur, this person that you cut relationships, she still tries to convince you to go back to be with her? (Thomas)

-Yes... (Arthur)

-So you're already hurting her. You keep thinking about very complicated things, but you can't see what's in front of you. Life is about choices, inevitably I believe that no matter how careful you are, some will hurt the people you love. So the only thing you can do is live life, making the choices up front that you don't regret for not choosing. (Thomas)

-An old man told me something similar. (Arthur)

-Is this old man the reason why you thought it would be better for you not to create romantic bonds? (Thomas)

Arthur looks at Thomas in amazement.

-How do you know? (Arthur)

Thomas opens a smile on his face. With a calm look he looks at the picture of his wife.

-Because I'm sure he also made the choice he wouldn't regret after all. I bet he lost someone important to him and that he is really suffering a lot each day because of the lack that person causes him. But I also know, if he could go back in time, he would have made the same choice and stood by her side. No matter how much he was suffering, he was happy to have stayed by her side for as long as he could. (Thomas)

Thomas' eyes go back to staring at that photo, they were calm as if they had found their paradise.

-You must really love her very much. (Mike)

-Yes, seeing her smiling is the reason for my happiness. (Thomas)

With his fingers he slowly passes over the smiling woman's face, as if he were caressing her.

-That's why I'm here. To protect that smile on your face and make it last forever. (Thomas)

Arthur starts to think a little bit about what his father had been trying to tell him and what Thomas said, he kept wondering in his mind if what he had done was really the best option, and even if it was, was it the choice he wouldn't regret taking? These questions kept popping into his mind, but something keeps him from thinking about these things, and that something is the captain who ends up entering the tent.

-Looks like he finally came. (Thomas)

Everyone was silent at that moment. Due to the tension that was in the place, due to the anxiety of knowing what was happening and what would happen to them and, above all, due to the fear that each one of them was feeling.

-Gentlemen, I have news to inform you. It has been decided that our squadron will have the honor of participating in an important mission to end this war. Starting today, we will begin the operation that will guarantee the peace of our country. We will battle on the front lines against the enemy army. (captain)

Everyone had already expected that this would happen, the faces of the soldiers in that place did not show any surprise when they heard what was said to them, however, they were disappointed because they still had a little hope that the news that was going to be given to them was different. The captain observes the sad looks of his subordinates.

-Regardless of what result we will get, I just wanted to say that it was an honor to lead this platoon... and that it was an honor to have lived with each one of you. (captain)

The sound of the clock on the wall seemed to be sounding louder than it normally did, until a sound comes out louder than the clock, the door being slowly closed. Saying those words, the captain leaves the cabin without fear of what they would find. The soldiers start to get ready in silence, everyone just accepted without complaining the orders they received. It was inevitable, they had no choice but to go to war. However, in the midst of all that conformity, Arthur didn't seem to be looking at things very well, just sitting on his bed he stared into non-existent emptiness. That world in which he watched had no color, no traces, much less sounds, worse than a blank sheet of paper that had at least one color, that world represented Arthur's vision of his situation. The terrible feeling that haunted his head as he looked into that emptiness was suddenly broken by a sound that was slowly penetrating his head, it was then that he realized what that sound belonged to.

That sound... is that from the phone? If I'm listening it means he's playing. (Arthur)

Like a lost child he walks a little scared to the phone.

It's not night yet, my father doesn't usually call me at this time. Is it not for me? (Arthur)

With hesitation in his movements Arthur answers the call.

-Alou? Who is it? (Arthur)

-Arthur, how long! Can you recognize me? (?)

Who will it be, I feel I've heard that voice somewhere. It was sweet and smooth, but also strong and turbulent, just like the ocean. Who? (Arthur)

The image starts to form in your head, until finally it is recognized.

-Angelica? (Arthur)

-Good-good, you got it right! (Angelica)

Arthur doesn't respond, instead it looked like his eyes were looking at a sad situation, his mind was in turmoil.

-Are you surprised? (Angelica)

-Yes a lot. (Arthur)

Angelica tried to create an atmosphere for the conversation to flow naturally, but Arthur ended up cutting him off with short answers. He was thinking hard to get the conversation going.

-How's it going in the army? (Angelica)

Arthur doesn't answer her and desperately wanting to talk to him, she insists.

-The trainings must be tough there, right?... Have you ever been on a mission?... Did you meet any nice people?... (Angelica)

Arthur didn't answer her again, but it wasn't because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't.

-Hey Arthur... am I annoying? (Angelica)

Arthur's eyes widen, Angelica's voice sounded weak and hurt.

-Is that why you broke up with me? Because I am... (Angelica)

-Angelica... when I broke up with you... did that hurt you? (Arthur)

-Uh, what are you talking about? If it hurt me? Of course you hurt me, you idiot! What did you expect? That I went about my life normally as if nothing had happened? You fool! Scoundrel! Stupid Arthur! (Angelica)

Arthur could tell by the tone of her voice that she was really hurting a lot, over the small gap of silence he was able to hear her lightly crying.

-Why? Why?... (Angelica)

-Angelica, if you're thinking it was because of you, you don't need to worry. It was my fault... (Arthur)

-DO NOT SAY THAT! I don't care if you say it was entirely my fault. That you speak exactly my attitude that irritated him to the point of not taking it anymore. I don't mind changing the way I am. I just want to go back to those days, those were the happiest days of my life, I just want them to come back...

Angelica couldn't hold back, she let all her regrets come out, she was crying a lot and Arthur heard everything over the phone.

-Angelica, do you love me? (Arthur)

-Which? Why are you asking me?! Of course I love you! (Angelica)

-And if... let's say that one day we come back and live a very happy life, but unfortunately I end up leaving first... how would you feel? (Arthur)

-If that happened... I would die inside, after all the person I loved the most is no longer with me. I would curse you so much, how could you have left and left me behind, I couldn't understand, why didn't you wait for me to go with you? I would cry so much. Just thinking about it makes me feel an immense pain in my heart. But I would never regret it, I would never wish the things I did were different. I would be eternally grateful to have spent my life by your side. (Angelica)

-I see... about what you said before... I love you too Angelica. (Arthur)

A sudden short pause between them demonstrates that Angelica was a little confused upon hearing that.

-Huh? Why are you telling me this now?! SCOUNDREL!! (Angelica)

Arthur on hearing that starts to smile.

-Why are you angry? Isn't that what you wanted? Aren't you glad you know I love you too? (Arthur)

-MORON! MORON! MORON! Idiot!... idiot!... snuf... you idiot... (Angelica)

Arthur's eyes became serene, he was no longer with as much tension as he had been before the call, it seemed that things were starting to move again. With a happy expression on his face he just hears his lover trying to stop crying.

-Hey Angelica... (Arthur)

-Snuf, what's wrong? (Angelica)

Arthur's fingers start to fiddle with the phone cord, his face becomes serious again.

-When this is all over... when this war is over, I promise I will give you an answer. I will respond to your feelings. So could you wait for me until that happens? (Arthur)

-Are you serious? Aren't you lying to me? (Angelica)

-Yes, I'm serious. (Arthur)

Angelica sessa crying, a big smile appears on her face.

-Hehehe, I'm so happy. (Angelica)

Sitting on her bed, she starts to play with her right hand on her toes to try to control her arousal.

-You really change emotion easily. (Arthur)

-But what do you want me to do? You told me you were finally going to answer me... after all this time. (Angelica)

-I really made you suffer a lot for not giving you any explanation, I'm sorry. (Arthur)

-It's all right. I don't care about that anymore. (Angelica)

Angelica has a beautiful and pure smile on her face, hugging her pillow she could only imagine their reunion.

-I have to go, I need to prepare to travel to another camp. (Arthur)

-OK. (Angelica)

-In this new camp there will be no line. Then I won't be able to talk to you on the phone anymore. You forgive me? (Arthur)

-Yes, it's okay. As long as when you come see me bring me a bouquet of flowers. (Angelica)

-It's a promise. See you soon. (Arthur)

-Yes goodbye. (Angelica)

Arthur puts the phone back in place thus hanging up that call. His face was no longer impatient and confused as before. He was prepared to move on.

Sitting at a table lit with a candle and on a small piece of paper, he starts to write something before leaving on his mission. When he's finished he signs the end of the paper and keeps it in his shirt pocket. He had a look of who was determined, no matter what happened from then on he would make the choices so he wouldn't regret it in the future.