Backstage pass

As Okisato headed for Iori's room, he once again came across some women arguing and blocking the way.

"Like hell I'm fine with you putting Tesla on your euros!" a woman with short orange hair shouted.

"We did that YEARS ago! And we aren't unminting them!" a woman with long purple hair sneered.

"Then why'd you bring it up!?"

"To reiterate that Desperados can't subject each other to DESPER matches, so tell your hubby to go cry a river!"

"I'M not a Desperado!"

"And you think I'd challenge you? Never!"

"Oi, could you please move?" Okisato growled.

The two women spun around, hatred seeping out of their eyes, but it was unclear if Okisato was meant to be it's sole recipient. The purple-haired woman seemed to be slightly more annoyed with his presence and slowly strutted up to him.

"Man, do you know who I am?"

Much to his regret, Okisato did as this was Vlatka Jurkovič, Croatia's leader, as well as the woman who had caused a scene in the dining hall the night after the first round. "No I don't," he grumbled, trying to play dumb. 

"WELL YOU SHOULD! I am Vlatka Jurkovič, president of Croatia!"

"And I am Slavica Mančić, first lady of Serbia!" the orange-haired woman huffed.

"And I just want to pass by, Okisato grumbled as he tried to get by.

"And why should I allow that?" Vlatka glared as she extended her arm to block Okisato.

Prior to becoming president of Croatia, Vlatka was an infamous celebrity, known for her various scandals. They were so bad, she was formally blacklisted from the entertainment industry and publicly shunned by all. Then she got her hands on a DESPER and with her prodigious chess talent, she became president of Croatia, consolidating all power under her. Now she had free reign to unleash whatever she felt like upon the Croatian populous.

To make matters worse, she was an extremely combative woman, often picking fights just to prove her superiority. Naturally, this included fights with other Balkan heads of state, with Serbia's president, Đurađ Mančić, being the most frequent target of her ire. Though Bosnia's co-presidents, especially Miralem and Ognjen, were a close second and third, respectively.

Okisato didn't have a personal hatred for her, but there was a high chance he'd develop one for her on the spot with how she was deliberately preventing him from leaving. While he could slip by, the problem was that doing so might cause problems later down the line as Vlatka was most certainly the type that would claim that he'd "violently assaulted" her before running away.

Chess may not be an option either as regardless of if Vlatka knew of who Okisato was, she was likely to refuse a challenge. Though he did have a DESPER key on him, it wouldn't work until the anti-DESPER veil was lifted from the city on the day of the final round.

But there was one thing he could try.

"I'm sorry, but I need to go to my room to practice. My team's up against Bosnia tomorrow, and I want to 4-0 them."

The pick-up line worked like a charm as both women began smiling.

"Oh? You're up against those Bosniak bastards? Then best of luck," Vlatka smirked as she stepped aside.

"Yes, but if Ognjen's playing, go easy on him. He doesn't deserve to be punished alongside the Bosniak-majority team," Slavica frowned.

"HUH!? You're stooping to match fixing!?"

"Geh!? ... AM NOT!"

Okisato took his chance to slip away as the two resumed their quarrel. But as he rounded the bend, he was yet again faced with more women arguing.

"Get out of my sight! I don't believe an ounce of your "sincerity"!" a girl with short blue hair glared.

"Why? I just want things to go back to how they were before!" a scantily clad girl with short blonde hair cried.

Seeing some space to squeeze by, Okisato decided to try and sneak by, but as he did, the blue-haired girl shoved the blonde-haired girl into him, sending them both to the ground.

"Ah! My apologies, sir. I didn't mean to hurt you," the blue-haired girl cried as she tried to help Okisato up.

"It's fine, now I need to get going."

"Are you that upset!? I'm sorry, I'm Anastasia Olinyk. If you want financial compensation-"

"I said it was fine. I really need to get going."

"I don't have much... Here! I have this ticket to an Ichiko Rojas show. Please just take it or I'll feel bad!" Anastasia cried as she grabbed a ticket out of her breasts and shoved it into Okisato's face.

"Ugh, fine."

Anastasia sighed in relief before taking off running, not even bothering to check on the status of the blonde-haired girl. With a sigh, Okisato helped the girl to her feet, and upon noticing her depressed state decided to ask what was wrong.

"You saw all that? That was Anastasia, we were once really close."

"And you are?"

"Alya Mazayeva."

The name sounded familiar to Okisato, and after a quick think, he remembered her name popping up when the team discussed Russia in one of their strategy meetings. "You're an SPCM, right?"

"And a Ewetuber or at least, I was..."

"What happened?"

Alya stared down at the floor for a bit before finally muttering a response. "When the war broke out 2 years ago, we were all shocked. I didn't know what to say. Anastasia wanted me to denounce it, but many who lived near me supported it..."

"So out of fear, you remained silent, yes?"

"That's right. If I came out against it, Anastasia would be pleased, but my country would scorn me, possibly even kill me. But if I came out supporting it, I'd be burning so many bridges with not just my closest friend, but others across the world. Thus, I remained silent, hoping things would end quickly. And sure enough, Tsar Grigori emerged and ended things, giving me hope that now things would be back to normal. But Anastasia was furious, thinking I was just trying to slide everything under the rug. All I said was "now things can go back to how they were before"... But I guess I offended her. I offended her, and now she hates me. We used to be a Ewetuber duo, but the war ruined everything. I want to be friends again, I want to make videos, but no matter what I say, even if I say I was wrong, or my country was wrong, she doesn't believe me. In her mind, I'm a backstabber."

Okisato let out a heavy sigh as he realized he had gotten himself into something deep. He couldn't just walk away now, but he needed to check up on Iori.

"Want to meet a famous Ewetuber?"

It was a gamble, but the only thing Okisato could think of at the moment to be the best of both worlds.

"Ah, I'm sorry. You said you needed to be somewhere. Don't worry about me... I have somewhere I need to be too," Alya nervously laughed as she began to step away.

"And that is?"

A frown appeared on Alya's face as she pulled out a ticket to the Ichiko Rojas show. "Alone."

As Alya trudged away, she bumped into someone who Okisato did not expect to see.

"Well that makes things easy. So care to explain what's been going on, Iori-chan?"

Despite now being bundled up in a tracksuit and face mask with her hair drooping down, it was clear as day to recognize Iori.

"Oh, Oki-kun- ACHOO! Ugh, just had to get out."

"And you're not answering your phone, why?"

"Battery's dead, and teach took the charger," Iori grumbled as she flashed her phone.

It did seem on brand for Maida, but Okisato first needed to confirm this really was Iori. "Tits out, mask down."

Iori instantly unbuttoned her coat, and simultaneously lifted her bra up, while pulling her mask down. "Bad bitch enough for ya!?"

"Yeah, now cover everything back up before you sneeze again."

"HARSH... but kinky."

"Yep, you're the real deal. So where's Maida-sensei?"

"Huh? What's- AChOO! -That about me being real?"

"I'll explain later. So Maida-sensei?"

"Salon. Said she had some uncontrollable urge to go there."

"Thanks, Iori-chan," Okisato nodded as he took off immediately, leaving Iori and Alya behind.

"Wait, 'Iori-chan' as in THE Iori-chan!?" Alya gasped as she turned to face Iori.

"Yup- ACHOO! Sick as fuck right now, but still me."

"You look different with your hair down."

"Ya mean without my "horns"? Wait, I seriously not style em!? Ugh, damn cold."

As Iori began styling her hair on the fly, Okisato managed to reach the salon. There, at the nearest seat, he noticed a capped woman with her head and face completely covered in shaving cream. Noticing the woman appeared to be wearing jeans, along with a pair of blue sneakers, Okisato deduced this was Maida and called out to her.

The woman opened her eyes and began turning red in embarrassment under all that shaving cream. It was Maida, and much to her dismay, one of her students had found her. And worse, she was suck like this until her beauty treatment was over.

"Damn that man for inflicting such a condition on me," Maida thought as she leaned her head back, allowing the stylist to scrape all the cream off with a razor.

...

"And just why did you find the need to watch every second of that?" Maida glared as she walked out of the salon.

"... It was hot?"

"Tanabe-kun... Ugh. Were you seeking me for another reason?"

"Yeah, charger," Iori grumbled as she trudged up with Alya in tow.

"Ishikiridokoro-chan... Why are you up and about?"

"Cuz I can't sit still. ACHOO!"

"And you'll be doing so for another day."

"No way, I wanna play tomorrow and go to the Bermuda party!"

"If you're still sick-"

"Then whip up a cold cure. You're the science teacher, right?"

"Cold medicine and rest are all that's needed."

"Then why haven't ya gotten me any cold medicine?"

Okisato's eyes narrowed as Maida stated that she had tried to, but refused to purchase any of the cold medicine currently stocked at the hotel, claiming it appeared to have been tampered with. And with the weather, she couldn't really go out, meaning Iori had been without cold medicine for the day.

"Ginji. That bastard. He's trying to keep Iori from getting better," Okisato thought as he clenched his hand tighter. "Anyway, why's Alya tagging along?" he asked Iori.

"Uh, you ever heard of Al n' An? Famous duo of two dumb Slavic girls doing dumb shit, but they broke up 2 years ago. One half, Anastasia, has rebranded and become a boring bitch now. And Alya, vanished. No new channel, no re-branding, nothing. Just- ACHOO! Ugh, just left the internet. But here she is now, and if what Mimo-chan's mom said was true, she's an SPCM."

"And that means?"

"Duh, we drag her to the secret puzzle cafe so we can challenged her."

"Absolutely not! We can't risk you making others sick!" Maida glared.

"Who cares?"

"Were you not fully conscious last night when we discussed this?"

Realizing things could escalate, Okisato decided to calm things down with a proposal. "Iori-chan, how about I challenge Alya, while you watch the Ichiko Rojas show," he proposed as he flashed the ticket before her.

Everyone stared blankly.

"Uh, Oki-kun, that's kind of harsh. Like BAD harsh," Iori frowned.

"How? Ichi-ro's a riot."

"WAIT! You actually like her cringe!?"

"I wouldn't call it cringe. Sure her jokes fall flat, but her milf-energy makes the experience enjoyable."

"YOU'RE INTO MILFS!? FUCK! I'M NOT A MILF YET! ...Wanna make me one?"

"ISHIKIRIDOKORO-CHAN!" Maida roared.

"Y- Yes mommy?"

"Oh for the love of- Here, take your charger and play with your phone. But NO streaming!" Maida growled as she tossed Iori her phone charger.

"YAY! Now bring me some gourmet chicken nuggets, with the honey walnut sauce."

"Ubel eat that yourself."

As Iori giddily headed off, Maida stared intently at Okisato's ticket.

"Do you want to come see it?" Okisato asked.

"No, I don't want to see that buffoon ever again."

"You've met her?"

Maida's eyes shifted away slightly. "I had the mispleasure of seeing one of her acts, and I hated it."

"There's more to the story though."

Maida let out a heavy sigh. She was afraid Okisato would see through this, but she didn't want to relive all those embarrassing high school memories. Yet she didn't have a choice as none other than Ichiko Rojas herself walked by.

"M- Mañana?"

"..."

"Mañana! You shaved your head!? What brought that on, girl?" Ichiko smiled as she swung her arm around Maida's shoulder.

"It's Mayana! Now get off me or I'll sue for sexual assault."

"But I'm a girl."

"And? The law cares not. Sexual assault is sexual assault, or are you trying to make another bad joke."

"Well I'd say it's funny that I dyed my hair hot pink, while you shaved yours and then some."

"Hold on, do you two really know each other?" Okisato asked.

Ichiko stared at Okisato for a bit before gasping. "Oh Mañana, congratulations on motherhood."

"He's my STUDENT!"

"... You're a kinkier girl than I remember. Well, guess you always-"

"Ichiko, don't slander me."

"Or you'll sue me?"

"Or I'll break your jaw to atoms."

"YO! We getting a milf teacher catfight!?" Iori gasped as she came back running.

"Another student?"

"Yes, one I need to attend to after all. Good day."

"Hasta Mañana."

At that point, Maida could no longer take it and got right up into Ichiko's face. "You said that on purpose."

"It's just "See you tomorrow" in Spanish."

"Uh, don't you have a show?" Alya nervously asked.

"Cancelled. Not enough tickets sold... But there is a way to still make use of the stage at the lobby cafe I rented out. Mayana, wanna play some chess?"

Maida's eyes narrowed, but she was completely down. "Bring it. I've been studying up on chess. I'll crush an imbecile like you in under 30 moves."