The Clown in Meinong's Jungle

【POV: Yuria】

Three figures huddled close, noses nearly touching my laptop's display. The faint blue light illuminated a trio of contrasting reactions: my own smug grin, Tetsuya's pensive scowl, and Mari, looking like she'd just sucked on a lime.

The screen showed a brand-new diagram I'd whipped up during a fifteen-minute stroke of genius. At the dead center was a bold red square containing just one line:

Entity X: "An entity defined as not belonging to Meinong's Jungle."

「Try and solve that one, Mari.」 I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms, throwing her a challenging smirk.

Mari scratched her head. 「Hold on, give me a sec!」

Tetsuya lightly stroked his chin, his eyes narrowing with intrigue. 「You've served up quite a dish here, Yuria.」

「Tetsu! Don't encourage her!」 Mari pouted, giving his shoulder a sharp poke. 「You're supposed to help me find the flaw!」

「I'm only on the side of objective truth.」 Tetsuya replied nonchalantly.

「Hey... you guys... look at this...」 Riku shoved some blackish object between the two of us.

「Not now, Riku.」 I shooed him away without looking, my focus still locked on Mari. 「I am currently in the middle of civilizing this girl's tribe.」

「But...」

「Quiet! The Shushō is busy!」 Mari brushed him off too. 「I can't let this little Heretic get one over on me!」

Tetsuya sighed, about to speak when—

「LOOK AT THIS, DAMN IT!!!」

I turned around, ready to go ballistic on him, but Riku was standing there huffing and puffing, face flushed red with pure annoyance, his glasses half-falling off his face.

It took my brain a few moments to reboot. Right... the scanner.

Mari stared at the plastic box Riku was holding, and her eyes suddenly went wide. She slapped her forehead. 「Duh! Right! I almost forgot!」

She leaped down from the desk, lunged forward to snatch the box from Riku, and began inspecting it like a holy relic.

「Awesome! Arisa's got nothing on me now!」 Mari laughed, shooting me a look that said Mari grinned excitedly, glancing back at me with a look that said "this is way more important than your philosophy crap." 「Yuria, we'll do your paradox later. I've got some justice to serve at Tensaku!」

Riku's heavy footsteps and Mari's sharp laugh died down as they rounded the corner. A comfortable stillness settled over the Debate Club room.

Tetsuya shifted in his seat. He laced his fingers together and looked up at me, his lips beginning to form a sentence. 「I was considering the nature of "manifestation"...」

「Save it, Tetsuya.」 I cut him off with a raised finger. 「I'm ten steps ahead of you.」

Tetsuya tilted his head slightly, saying nothing.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, staring up at the ceiling. 「You're going to argue that an entity can possess an attribute without that attribute necessarily being manifested by the being itself, right?」

Tetsuya smiled faintly and nodded. 「Spot on. A Meinongian object just needs to stay there as an idea. It doesn't have to do anything to break the jungle's logic.」

「I know, I get it.」 I tutted, spinning my pen. 「Truth is... I'm totally with you. Meinong's theory is actually a pretty sick—and very elegant—piece of metaphysics.」

「Oho! Every word recorded!」

A shrill voice popped up from the door. Mari was poking her head through the gap, her big white ribbon bouncing. Her eyes were curled into two evil little half-moons. Turns out she and Riku were lurking the whole time.

「And here you were acting so tough earlier, Heretic?」 Mari winked repeatedly.

「You're such a pain! Just leave already!」 I snatched a cushion and chucked it at the door, but Mari was too fast. She pulled her head back, and her laughter trailed off down the hall.

I rubbed my temples, let out a long-suffering sigh, and dropped my head onto the desk.

「The life of a Club President is a tragic one...」 I mumbled into the wood.

Tetsuya laughed. 「Tragic? How?」

「You wouldn't understand.」 I looked up, my expression full of mock drama. 「Even when you guys present an idea that I personally find flawless, I'm forced to rack my brain for a rebuttal. I have to find a crack in the armor just to tear it down. If I just nodded along to everything, this club would turn into a cult sooner or later! I'd rather be the villain.」

「So noble. We appreciate your service, President.」

「Get lost.」 I muttered, though I couldn't help the slight tug of a smile at the corner of my mouth.

・・・

Quiet returned to the club room. The tapping of our keys was the only thing filling the space of the late afternoon.

「Hey, Yuria.」 He began.

「Yeah?」 I kept my eyes on the screen, my hand sliding across the touchpad.

「The day we were at your house... when Mari came to apologize. I noticed that massive bookshelf in your room.」

「So you were scouting out a girl's room? Nice.」

「It was packed with Nietzsche, Spinoza, and a bunch of atheist, radical heretical philosophy books sitting right on the front row. Given how religious your family is, aren't you afraid your parents will check your collection?」

I couldn't help but laugh out loud, turning my chair around to face him.

「You're overestimating the investigative skills of conservative parents.」 I crossed my arms, looking smug. 「My parents suffer from a very convenient cognitive filter. If they see "Philosophy" or "Theology" on a spine, it's automatically categorized as "educational material". And you have to remember, theories like Pantheism have incredible camouflage. My parents glance at it, see the word "God" on every other page, and they just assume I'm reading up on our faith.」

Tetsuya laughed and shook his head at how crafty I was. 「You're a piece of work, President.」

「Tell me something I don't know.」 I tilted my chin up proudly. 「It's called the adaptation of the strong in a hostile environment.」

Tetsuya's suggestive eyebrow-raise made me catch myself. I quickly waved it off. 「Well... maybe "hostile" isn't the right way to put it.」

I leaned my chin on my hand, looking out at the sunset. 「To be honest, living in that house is a sweet deal. My parents spoil me, the room is spacious and comfortable. I'm fully aware I'm living in a middle-class ivory tower.」

I drummed my fingers on the desk. 「The trick is just knowing what to reveal and what to keep under wraps. The cost of maintaining the peace is negligible. One hour of church on Sunday, thirty seconds of prayer before dinner. Dirt cheap, wouldn't you say?」

I shrugged with a cynical half-smile. 「Too many kids try to act all rebellious by yelling "Religion is a lie!" or "I don't believe in God!" right at the dinner table. Trust me, that's how you pay the high price. Why would I do that? Philosophy is not for self-destruction.」

「And I—」

「Wait, stop right there.」 Tetsuya raised a hand to cut me off, killing the momentum of the lecture I was about to give on the art of ideological evasion. 「Philosophy can wait. There's a bigger priority.」

I scowled. 「Which is?」

「Your room.」 He folded his hands and leaned in. 「It's ginormous. Seriously.」

Tetsuya looked at me with total deadpan seriousness. 「Next Saturday, why don't we relocate our base to your house? Games, movies, the works. I'm getting a bit tired of chasing crabs and piling up sand at the beach with Riku every week.」

I hadn't expected his logic to jump from philosophical masking to planning a party so fast. Still, the idea had merit. My room had a 4K projector, surround sound, a mini-fridge full of drinks, and best of all—

「I'm down.」 I grinned and snapped my fingers. 「You guys can come over and go wild. But just make sure to tell Mari...」

「I'll keep Kami-chan in check. Consider it done.」