The Missing Phone and Kudo Trees

 “Yayyy! We made it!” Fawn exclaims. “I think.”

“Unless we ran deeper into that part of the forest,” I sigh.

“No no no it’s okay! The buns still have like an hour until they stop being FRESH and start being NOT FRESH!”

“... that’s not exactly our problem.”

“What time is it?”
“How am I supposed to know? Wait.” I pat my pockets. Never mind, I don’t have pockets. Where are my jeans when I need them?

“What are you looking for?” Fawn asks, shoving her face into my personal space.

“Wait wait wait wait wait wait. WHERE’S MY PHONE.”

“Phone? What’s that?”

“It’s a glowing square I use to watch TikTok and YouTube shorts!” I yell. “Where is it?” An image of my phone, set on my bedside table, flashes through my mind. “Nooo! I haven’t even thought about it until now. Fawn, you have my kudos for keeping me distracted for so long. Adieu. I’m doomed.” I collapse dramatically on the forest floor before bolting upright. “OW!” A stick just stabbed me.

“Aww don’t be so pessimistic. It’s not that bad,” she reassures me, ignoring my painful predicament. Stupid stick. She blinks. “Also, what’s YouTube shorts and TikTok and what does adieu mean? And what’s a kudo? How many do you have? Are they yummy?”

“Kudos is just… applause with words!” I stand up, brushing leaves off my behind. But she isn’t listening. She points to a random tree. “Is that a Kudo tree?”

“No, that looks like a Christmas tree! Kudos trees don’t even exist!”

“Huuh? Christmas? What’s that?”

“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW CHRISTMAS?”

“Hey wait!” Fawn dives under the enormous tree. I said it was a Christmas tree but honestly it’s way too big. An elementary schooler could build a secret fort under it. I bet Fawn would build a secret fort under it if she hadn’t been so focused on her beloved bread.

“Fawn are you- what are you doing?” I pause at the edge of the tree. “... I don’t want to follow you but I kind of feel like you need supervision.”

“EEEEEEH!” A loud shriek emerges from under the branches.

“UH FAWN? ARE YOU OKAY?” I call.

“EEH!”

“Uhhh.”

“AAH!”

“Okay, I can do this. I can be like a responsible anime protagonist and save my new best friend.” I crawl under the tree.

Fawn is holding what looks like a cross between a squirrel and a peacock hostage, cuddling it aggressively.

“Um…”

“AAAHH IT’S SO CUUTTE!” she squeals. Then it squirts her in the face with a greenish blue stuff that smells weirdly like blueberries. “AH!”

“Uh, Fawn.” I point at the glowing berries she’s sitting right next to. “Are those sunberries? Is that why it’s so not-dark in here? And why is it so hot? I think I’m BAKING.”

“Let’s grab them before the bird-of-paradise decides to attack us for invading its territory!” Fawn announces cheerfully.

“EXCUSE ME? Do you ever think things through?”

“Nope!”

I sigh loudly. “Okay, let’s pick sunberries.” I reach for one and immediately snatch my hand back. “HOLY COW!” I shake my hand. “That’s hot!”

“What did you expect?” Fawn asks, still dripping with goo.

“I expected them to be like normal berries.”

Suddenly, the peacock-squirrel lets out a furious SQUAWK. Okay, honestly it’s more like a screech-roar.

“Okay okay okay hurry hurry hurry!” Fawn grabs a handful of berries in one hand and somehow manages to accidentally rip a branch off a bush with the other and we’re OFF.

“RUN!” I yell rather unnecessarily, as we’re already running. But what am I supposed to do? That thing is terrifying. I can’t just run silently.

“Let’s go let’s go let’s go!” Fawn screeches. She's almost as loud as the squirrel-bird.

“Which way are we going?”

“In the direction of the birch trees that line the edge of town!”

“We’re in the middle of a bunch of birch trees!”

“Well I never said it was only on the edge of town!”

“HOW HELPFUL!”

“WAIT LOOK!” She points with the branch, nearly singing my face off. “That’s Mr. Otterwheel’s cottage!”

She’s right. I see a hint of hideously bright orange through the trees.

“Is the thing still chasing us?”

“No!”

“Then why are we running?”

“Good point!”

We screech to a dead halt.

“Can’t believe I managed to run with you instead of being dragged by you,” I mutter to myself.

“Huh?” Fawn asks, her eyes innocently blank.

“Nothing. Let’s go get the sunberries to Miss Fae. Uh… try not to get goo on the buns.”

“...oh. Right. The goo.” Her eyes are still blank and would totally just be dots if we were in a cartoon, which to be honest it feels like we are right now with how chaotic this has been. “WELL it’s okay! The goo will evaporate in a little bit! Birds-of-paradise are completely harmless unless you invade their territory!”

“Like we just did?” I make a face. “Actually, that was you. I was just babysitting you.”

With a sudden, aggressive puff, the goo explodes into steam. Her arms are sticking out in front of her, probably to spare the sunberries, and her head and shoulders where the goo was looks like a pillar of blue gas.

“I can’t see,” her muffled voice comes out from the literal cloud of steam emerging from her head.

“You have a pillar of blue steam coming from your head, that’s why.”