I can't face her

INT. HIROSHI’S ROOM - MORNING

Within a room covered by darkness, a single light emanates from the TV in the corner of the room. Illuminated, a man lays in bed, covered with his sheets going over his head.

TV: ...Late last night in Sapporo’s Chūō Ward, a woman in her late teens was found collapsed inside her apartment.

...

TV: She was later confirmed dead at the scene.

...

TV: According to investigators, no signs of forced entry were discovered, and police believe the death may have been self-inflicted.

...

TV: Authorities are continuing to investigate the—

Gradually, the sound starts to fade. Not from the TV, but from the one listening.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

Please... someone turn it off.

Raising his head out of his blanket, he continues to lay there lifelessly.

Hiroshi turns his head from the wall to the screen. With his face now illuminated by the light, his painfully cracked lips become clear, and his hollow eyes slowly scan the room. This is all the movement he can manage... he’s already tried a couple times.

Suddenly, his head turns down, keeping his eyes open for only another second before they shut.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

Please... just leave me alone.

***

2 MONTHS LATER

The sky is shining brightly. The rays brightly make their way down, only occasionally blocked by the clouds that drift gently across. On a playground, Hiroshi sits on a bench.

Hiroshi recognizes this place immediately. He’s never actually been here, yet he’s continued to see it every night. Over, and over, and over again, it serves a constant reminder to him of the events from two months ago.

Hiroshi’s gaze drifts, staring somewhere far beyond the playground.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

...It’s the same dream.

A stillness is present in the air, capturing a certain moment in time. As if the perfect memory, nothing is allowed to ruin the moment.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

Please body. Wake up.

The sound of chirping becomes present, filling the air in their perfect harmony.

... There are no birds.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

No... no, no... don’t do it.

Against his shoulder, an unmistakable warmth presses softly into him.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

Please. Please! Stop! I can’t! Not anymore!

Unable to muster his own movements, a gentle smile sits across his face. His posture stays straight as he leans back on the bench, making sure to give his shoulder enough support in the process.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

I’ll do anything! Just stop! Please!

His shoulder has gone slightly numb at this point... but he can manage. After all, he wouldn’t want to disturb the warmth on it. That is much more important, his shoulder comes second on the list of priorities.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

No... no. It’s about to happen! Please, wake up!

Suddenly, Hiroshi’s vision becomes blocked. Between the cracks, the light is still visible, but just barely. As if moving in tandem, the darkness covering his vision moves... but so does the warmth by his side.

???

Thank you, Hiroshi.

Smiling, Hiroshi looks towards the warmth. Sitting next to Hiroshi, her body leans up against him... and her arm pulls back the hair that had fluttered into his face. Gently, she gives a cheery smile to accompany her action.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

Sachiko... stop... please...

Now giving all of their attention to each other, they continue to smile. A light dances around freely in each of their eyes. A leaf suddenly blows from the distance, landing itself on her face.

Turning his attention to her cheek, he plucks the leaf off, lifting it back into the breeze.

... There is no wind.

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

Sachiko’s smile becomes even softer, slightly bringing her head down in the process.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

It hurts... It hurts so much.

They return to the way they originally sat, looking off into the distance while preserving each other’s warmth. Sachiko’s warmth becomes an imperfect blend, struggling between burning heat and stinging numbness.

Again, Hiroshi lifts his head... but Sachiko keeps hers resting on his shoulder.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

Even though it hurts so bad... every time... now that I’m here... I don’t want it to end.

In an empty breeze, a petal flies by this time. It resembles a snow flake as it glides across the sky. Landing on Sachiko’s cheek again, the petal instantly melts.

Noticing the water left over, Hiroshi brings his hand up, wiping it off her cheek. Giving the same reaction as before, she looks into Hiroshi’s eyes.

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

Returning her soft smile, he notices another petal start to drift towards her.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

Stop... stop thanking me. There’s no need.

Again, he raises his hand up, this time catching the petal before it could land.

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

His smile stays... though this time... just ever so slightly weaker than the last.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

Really... stop... I don’t deserve it.

Another petal.

Another soft smile.

Another hand raised.

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

Another petal.

Another smile.

Another hand raised.

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

Enough...

Another petal.

Another smile.

Another hand raised.

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

PLEASE! ENOUGH!

Again.

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

Again.

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

STOP! STOP! STOP! WHY!?

Again.

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

YOU’RE ALREADY GONE, SO WHY? F*CK, WHY!?

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

YOU WON’T EVEN LET ME SAY ANYTHING BACK!

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

HIROSHI (VOICEOVER)

LET ME TALK, D*MN IT! YOU’RE JUST DOING WHAT YOU DID BEFORE! SELFISHLY MAKING A DECISION WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT ME!

SACHIKO

Thank you, Hiroshi.

HIROSHI

YOU’RE THE ONE THAT ENDED EVERYTHING! YOU— YOU!

SACHIKO

...

HIROSHI

I’M SUFFERING EVERY DAY! I WANT YOU BACK! YOU— YOU... YOU MADE THE MISTAKE, AND YET I’M THE ONE THAT SUFFERS FROM IT!

...

HIROSHI

I WAS ALWAYS THERE!

...

HIROSHI

I WAS THERE TO LISTEN!

Hiroshi’s ears undeafen. At some point, everything around him became quiet, and he was no longer paying attention to the dream. His body remains out of control... yet, at some point, his voice started to leak through.

The world around him starts to crumble. There are now cracks in the once sunny sky, spreading across the clouds. They spread even further, taking over the playground.

Looking directly ahead, his attention falls on the target of his rage...

SACHIKO

...

Sachiko stares at Hiroshi, no longer holding the same smile she had before, but instead having an emotionless gaze.

... This dream is not like the other ones.

SACHIKO

Thank you... Hiroshi.

She says it one more time. This time it was more spaced out... and without being able to utter a response... the cracks give out. Everything fades to black.

***

Snapping his eyes open, Hiroshi’s head shoots up out of bed. Not realizing he’s awake, his words scramble as he catches his breath.

HIROSHI

I WAS... I was there...

Frantically, Hiroshi turns his head in an effort to find Sachiko.

HIROSHI

I... I!

Now having caught his breath, he gives up on his search for Sachiko... but mentally holds on to her image.

HIROSHI

I’m sorry...

Hiroshi brings his hands up to his eyes, completely cupping them so the tears don’t fall.

HIROSHI

I’m so f*cking sorry Sachiko.

Scrunching his face into his pillow case, his mouth stretches open now, spit stretching from the roof of his mouth to the base. Tears stream down his face into a puddle, gradually soaking the pillow case he hides in.

HIROSHI

I know it...

Dragging his fingers across the pillow case, he tears at it with his finger nails.

HIROSHI

It’s all me. Everything I’m saying... It's all about me.

Hiroshi redirects his hand to his head.

HIROSHI

I...

He clenches at his hair, pulling enough to feel the strain in the hair fibers, but not putting enough force to pull them out. As he lays there, the blood in his knuckles run cold, gradually losing feeling the tighter he squeezes.

HIROSHI

I hate myself.