Don’t mine your Friend!

The Pristine Palace shook that night, as the battle raged on. Heroes swung their swords and used their spells but none could defeat her. She cast them to stone, all until that same magic reflected to her. 

Reawakened, she took in a deep breath, tasting the new air. Her castle was a far cry from how she left it, but that didn’t matter. Time had brought ruin to all but her. “You failed, great heroes.” She smirked. “All that effort and now look. You are dead and gone, and I am still here!” A laughter of the purest evil leapt from her, as the lightning from above crackled in the sky and lit the world a neon green. 

All the while Penny & Flint stood by unsure of what to do. She hadn’t seen them yet, that much was certain and they knew they needed to leave before she did. 

“Psst” Penny whispered, jolting Flint back to his body. “Let’s go!”

He nodded and rushed to the door with each stride aimed at the most sturdy-looking floorboards. Of course, a single creak and the empress would-

CREEEEEAAAAAAAKKK

Time stood still, not even the air dared make a sound. 

Flint slowly turned to face Penny, who was sweating an ocean. “You think she heard that?” He asked, optimistically. 

“Ahem…” It wasn’t Penny, he knew it wasn’t. They both caught her eye and like stone statues, not even a muscle moved. She stared at them like they were rats. “Yes. I heard that.”

Flint was in tears… “goodie…”

*-*-*

“Now then, Flint, Penny. Might I ask why you decided it would be a good idea to waltz into MY palace?”

Both of them looked like kids getting a talking-to from their parents, tears flowing, snot leaking, hands clenched into balls of fabric. Neither dared to answer her. 

“You do know who I am, correct?”

“Y-yes, your… fabulousness…” Penny answered carefully. The word “fabulousness” certainly caught the empress’s ear. “But, we are not worthy, to speak your n…name.”

The Empress sniggered. “I like that answer, peon. Very well, I shall gift you my name.” She stood straight, took a pose in front of the light and reached her hand to the stars. “It is I! The Diamond Darling of the realm! The Luscious Larimar! The buxom Bauxite!” She paused. 

Meanwhile, Flint covered his mouth and leaned to Penny while the Empress was too busy posing. “Mouthful much?”

“I am… The Emerald Empress Esmeralda! The one who will one day turn this filthy mudball into the diamond it was always meant to be!” And once more, the lightning pierced through the sky while the thunder pierced their eardrums. But of course, that last part was the focus, the cause of knee knocking and teeth chattering, Esmeralda gave them no time to calm. 

She dropped onto what was her throne, using her magic to make it shine once more, and sat with great comfort. “You may prostrate yourself later, but for now I must reward you for breaking me from my prison.” The smirk returned to her face. She summoned a rough-cut red gem shard and used it to file her nails, the sound grating on the ears of the duo. “I appear to have lost my slaves over these many centuries… useless lot, can’t survive alone for a few measly hundred years. I will need fresh ones, and as a token of my appreciation I shall give you the honour.”

“Oh…” Flint managed to eke out, rubbing the back of his head. “You are too kind, your excellence…”

“I know, but you caught me on a good day,” Esmeralda responded, now stretching out and spawning a crystal footstool. 

“Would hate to see her bad days,” Penny commented under her breath. 

Now finished with her nails, Esmeralda seemed bored. She slouched even further into her seat and looked around at the room, spotting the duo awkwardly fidgeting in mild fear. “So… yeah. What’s, uh… what do you two do for fun around here?” 

Flint and Penny glanced at each other, slightly confused by the low social skills of the self-proclaimed Luscious Larimar. “Uhh… I collect gems?” Flint answered with uncertainty, but it seemed to pique Esmeralda’s attention. 

“Oh?!” She exclaimed. “A fellow geologist? My, slave one, I am delighted!” It was off-putting to see her go from ominous Empress to high-pitched vocals and a peppy smile, Flint just half-assed a smile back out of courtesy… and fear. “I love gemstones, they are the beauty of the earth!” She continued with her peppy form. But she seemed to have an idea and sat up, sending the footstool to the shadow realm. “You know, I often spent my days alone wondering what it would be like to become a gem.” As she recalled she looked at peace for but a moment. 

Without warning she pointed her emerald-adorned finger at him, magic flowing around it. “I am certain that is the same for you, slave one! Please, allow me!” 

“No no” Flint tried to refuse, waving his arms in front rapidly but she was already enjoying the idea of it too much. The magic connected… and Flint was a dark purple stone. 

Penny watched it happen like a daydream, only when she took another look did she snap back to reality. He was truly cast in stone, posed like an action movie hero who chose to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. “Fl… Flint?” She murmured. “Flint?!” Tears began to fall. “No!” She screamed, holding onto him, clawing at the stone hoping it was a mere thin shell she could break, but it would not budge. 

Esmeralda’s confident stance shifted, her head tilted ever so slightly to the side as she fidgeted with her fingers. She watched Penny weep in pure confusion, tentatively patting her on the back gently… with an emerald prodding stick. “There there, slave two. Slave one is enjoying his beautification!” She explained, but Penny continued to ignore her. The empress cocked her head up, eyes closed and fists against her sides. “You shall see, Slave One will be the first of many lucky beings.”

Tink

“He is protected from time, his body forever beautiful!”

Tink

“What is that noise?” She wondered as she looked down. 

Sniffle… “Come back, Flint… come back…”

Tink Tink

Baffled, Esmeralda watched her. A face of sorrow shifting to one of joy and back again… she almost malfunctioned, until the shock boiled over. “DON’T MINE YOUR FRIEND!”

*-*-*

Flint sat on the floor cross-legged with a water pouch in hand, and a mean glare aimed at his partner in crime. 

“What?” She boomed “Don’t judge me, you’d do the exact same thing.” 

He pouted and turned away from her… “not wrong, but not fair either” he kept that to himself. 

The Empress sighed while holding her temples, massaging away the pain. “Honestly, I try and do a nice thing and this is what I get.”

“Making me a statue is NOT NICE!” The pout returned (with a vengeance) along with an accusatory point. 

“All things age and become ugly! I thought you might want to stop the process before…” 

Flint blinked slowly. “…before?”

She looked away, twirling her hair with her finger. “Before… it got worse.”

The clock struck loudly, and the thunder boomed, Flint’s eyes snapped open, same as his mouth did. Soon, like a leaking tap, the tears started to fall. “Worse?” He groaned. 

Instantly Esmeralda was dumbstruck, rushing over and waving her hands in front of him. “No no, slave one I didn’t mean it like that. Uh, your face is… shapely… yes! Very shapely indeed!” 

Penny burst out laughing, back arched as her arms clutched her stomach, sounding louder than the thunder. 

Flint turned away from them both, pouting. “Screw the both of you! Mama Miner always used to say I was…” sniffle “…a strapping young lad!”

“Mama Miner? That’s your surname?” Penny thought as Esmeralda awkwardly nodded along while saying “yes” or “strapping indeed”. Though he didn’t stop moping. “Please do cease your crying slave one. I have hurt your feelings it would seem, allow me to destroy a kingdom of your choosing to reconcile.” She said as she knelt a little closer and tapped his shoulder. 

He looked at her like a little kid.

“I don’t wanna destroy a kingdom…”

Sniffle

“I wanna be handsome…”

“I’m afraid I cannot change your appearance without making you a stone. Perhaps there is another desire of yours I can help you achieve?” 

She handed over a tissue, but it was just a flat sheet of pearl. He held it for a moment and casually put it in his pocket. “Well, we both wanna get really rich. I wanted to see some really cool, rare gems.” He said as he wiped away his tears with his sleeve. 

“Ah”, Esmeralda hummed, a smile returning to her face. “Then I know just the place. I kept all my favourite stones in the storage room.”

“Your favourites?!” He responded, much like a golden retriever seeing its lead. “Like what?!”

Penny gagged in the corner seeing the scene “please gods let this end…”

Meanwhile, Esmeralda got into her proud mode. She rubbed her knuckles on her dress and put on her best smirk. “It’s child’s play for me to make such beauties, slave one. Diamonds, Alexandrite, Tourmaline… a good hundred of each just thrown in there. Enough to make a human bank jealous, that much I am sure of.” She’d closed her eyes as she bragged, missing the fact that Flint had disappeared during the gems part, and Penny had done the same during the value section. When she noticed she stopped for a moment, her shoulders shaking and her smirk becoming a scowl. Until she screeched out “I WASN’T DONE TALKING YET!”

*-*-*

The duo opened the door, and beyond was a room beyond imagination. Esmeralda had severely undersold its grandeur, valuable gems of all shapes and sizes lay on the ground, piled high and creeping up the walls. Flint was once again crying, and Penny had coins for eyes. 

“It’s… beautiful…”

“I’m gonna be so rich!”