Normal Abnormalities

You know, I don't think I understand what it means to be normal. To live an ordinary life. To go about the day-to-day.

Tap, tap, tap. "Hmm, not here."

And I don't mean in a figurative sense. I'm talking quite literally.

Tap, tap, tap. "Not here either."

After all, I don't think it's normal to be tapping the stones in a wall behind the throne of an abandoned castle. Well, I'm not sure whether it's abandoned or not; it appeared out of nowhere a few days ago. But there's no one else but me walking across the ceiling. Oh, the floor too.

Tap, tap, tap. "Nothing in the first thousand. Onto the next."

...or maybe this is normal. It's hard to be sure since I've never met a person before. None of them can survive in this mana dense place we call the Mixing Point. Or, at least, that's what that person-like being tells me. Or maybe it's more accurate to call them a God? A Creator, perhaps?

Tap, tap, tap. "No, he's definitely more of a--"

"You seem to be taking quite a while on these stones Stu." Speak of the nuisance. Here he is, popping into reality right in front of my face. A man in a blue coat, peering curiously around.

"Can you stop doing that?" I sigh. What is it? The millionth? The billionth time he's done this? If he's planning to show up, he can at least contribute something useful.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Hmm, why? Also, that's the wrong stone." His black flip flops clack as he takes a step back, spinning.

"I can see that. Also, you know exactly why. Don't tilt your head and play dumb. Now, shoo. I'm doing something, as you can see." Ah yes. This so-called 'job' that's foisted upon me. I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be doing most of the time.

Tap, tap, tap.

"You're being rather methodical with this." And... now he teleports back in front of me again. If only a hand wave would make him go away...

"What else am I supposed to do? You still haven't bothered to explain anything. How many years has it been now? A thousand? Ten thousand?"

"A little over twelve thousand last time I counted."

"My point exactly." The only thing I can do is take things one step at a time. It may take a few seasons to get the job done, but it's not like he ever complains. No, he's just here to pass the time, like always -- something about getting bored of the constant wars outside.

Well, not that I care.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Do you need some help?"

"Will you actually provide some?" I stop for a moment and glance over. Now he's sitting upside down in the air. Or is it right-side up? Hard to tell when gravity has no anchor.

"I can give you a hint."

"Shove it then. I don't need a riddle to get this done faster. I'd rather take a helper." I've learned since the last time he gave me one. He acts like it's just a small thing, but his hints walk the line between getting the job done fast or causing chaos. The world could be destroyed.

...or maybe something normal happens. It hard to tell with entendres upon entendres. Regardless, I'm trying not to die here.

"So, you're saying if you had someone else, you could get it done faster?"

"I don't know, you tell me." How am I supposed to know how long the job takes if I have no idea what it is in the first place? But somehow, he seems to have realized something, dropping deep into thought. Maybe he'll keep still long enough to finish checking the next thousand stones.

Tap, tap, tap.

"I see. Then I'll do that." Huh, I don't like the way he said that. I feel a chill running down my spine as he nods to himself.

"Wait a moment--"

"I'll help you finish up." In an instant, he teleports a bit further up (or I guess down) and flicks one of the stones. And, of course...

'Crack.'

The wall begins to shatter as if it were made of glass.

'Crack Crack.'

An elongated sigh escapes my lips as I mutter, "What did you do..."

'Crack Crack Crack Crack.'

"Oh this? I figured the easiest way was to puncture the boundary with a bit of mana to allow the illusory structure to collapse in on itself." Great, gobbledygook, the kind that sounds very loud warning bells.

'CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK.'

Sure enough, the wall falls away into dust, revealing a pale blue void just beyond. Those alarms are blaring now.

"You should have just enough time to make it outside before it implodes. I'll be back again tomorrow with a present."

Wait... did he seriously disappear? Just like that? Leaving me in this death trap?! Again?!?

'CCCCRRRRAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

...time to run.

"YOU DAMN PROFESSOR!!!!"

The cracks chase after me as I bolt out of the throne room. Anything that doesn't break is sucked in to who knows where. Not even the air is spared; I can feel it pushing against my body.

No time to think. Just get out of here.

Down the corridors and out the front gate. Easy enough.

Oh, and dodge any unidentified flying objects.

And rocks.

...well, I'm still alive. My body stumbles out the entrance as gravity corrects itself, pulling me sideways. The void above consumes the rest of the inverted castle until it's nothing more than a pale blue star -- one growing brighter. And brighter. And--

Poof.

Oh. It's gone. He would call it a bit anticlimactic, but I'll take that over dying any day of the season.

My body jerks around as I fall through the warps in space making up the Mixing Point. Active volcanoes spewing magma next to freezing ice caps. A bone dry desert saddled up against a bountiful ocean. How it works, I have no idea. Though, if I had to guess, it's probably due to that guy. Any unexplained phenomena can probably be traced back to him.

Yes, I'm biased. He can go suck an egg for all the baloney he put me through.

...haah. Well, there's my cabin, still in the middle of that unending forest. A small shimmy to the left--

CRASH!

...ow. At least the ceiling is still intact -- good thing I remembered to make that hatch. Though, now I need to make a stronger bed. But that's tomorrow's problem... whenever tomorrow is.

I'm gonna get some sleep.

~~~

Umm... so... I'll just say it.

Why is there a girl outside my cabin? Holding a chair of all things? Is this supposed to be that present he mentioned?

"So, who are you?"

"...who am I?"

Great. Just... great.