A Truth Inside the Truth

"Saya, wait." As I followed after the distant footsteps of Saya, I saw her turning back in shock. Maybe she didn't expect me to chase after her, but that in itself hurt me more than I expected.

"Is there a problem? I see you have been ignoring me for quite some time now." I tried to be a bit more brave, but almost crushed my lips because of fear. Honestly, I did not want to know the answer to that question.

Saya shifted her posture, turning away from me ever so slightly. She appeared to be hesitant to voice it out, but I felt a similar fear as mine. This was not the usual Saya I was accustomed to, and it only grew my fear for what was yet to come if we continued along this road.

"I...I did not want to burden you anymore with my whims. You would always follow wherever I wanted to go, but never the initiator."

"NO, I did not ... "

I was hesistant to finish my thoughts, because maybe she was right. Maybe my indecisions were causing more pain to Saya than to me. If this is how it's going to be, I need to be more firm. I cannot keep dwelling on the future, and make her suffer with my present self.

"Let's have a study session. At my place."

"HUH?!"

I started walking in front of her, like I was a guiding dog. It was scary what I can do when my hands are forced, but I was still disgusted that Saya was backed into a corner before I even had the courage to do anything.

"Wait, it's all too sudden. And I feel like I just forced you again into this" Naturally, she was still kind and perceptive to think about me even in this situation.

"No Saya, I really want to help you out in your studies. I don't want to see you struggle and miss out on your sleep" I replied with confidence with my head facing towards her, while I hid my fears in this "truth".

"I see, I'm relieved then. It's really making my head spin with all of this stuff going on and then the tests just suddenly hit me up as well. Maybe I can take up on your offer. Lead the way I guess." Her eyes were not towards me, but instead looking at the ground beneath her. She didn't feel all too onboard with the idea it seems, but it looked like it was hard for her to say no.

"Let's go then." My voice was weak.

We chose the shorter route, given it was already getting late. Her footsteps felt a bit heavier, maybe due to reluctance or the guilt. Trying to lighten the mood I proposed that we grab some snacks along the way from the nearby department store. It was very quiet, considering it was still work hours and no customers for the ready-to-eat meals. I saw Saya looking confused between crisps and cookies, so I helped her out by picking out both of them. As usual, I also stocked up on all the sweets I could find. She looked to be a bit more relaxed now, as her head rose slightly up while walking.

"I'm home" As I entered my humble abode, I was quickly reminded that I missed something. My family. Oops, forgot to inform them about our impromptu date. Ah well, what's the worst that could happen.