Chaturaji cheat

As the night went on, so too did the DJ challenges. Only this time, four designated areas lit up atop the 6B tank instead of the usual two.

"You know what it means when there's four lights shining?" D.R. Passant asked the crowd.

"There's a fifth one hidden somewhere?" a man in lederhosen asked.

"No, it means we got a 4-way chess match on our hands! But... there's a catch. First, it's TEAM 4-way chess, and second... it's CHATURAJI!"

A few groans could be heard from the crowd. Chaturaji was infamous amongst the chess community for being quite difficult, and tedious at times. Not to mention, there was a rule within it that infuriated all, except for the winner.

"Why the groaning? Winning team gets 50 million WWCF points per player, AND 10,000 euros each!"

The incentive got more hands raised, but still not a significant number. There were enough teams willing to compete though, so D.R. Passant made his picks.

"Croatia, Lithuania, Kosovo, and North Macedonia, send your women's teams to the stage!"

All the teams made their way to the stage with most eyes centered on North Macedonia due to their stylish red and yellow attire. However, one lone member was bucking the trend by wearing green instead. This was Ofelio Kanjo, an Esperanto fanatic that had tried to seize power of the country from her mother, Nevena Zograf. She had failed though, and was now a begrudging member of the team. 

In contrast to her daughter, Nevena had long undyed red hair and was very prideful of the country she led. Not to mention, she was a grandmasters. As for the others, they all shared Nevena's levels of patriotism for their country with one being a muscly girl with a buzzed head dyed red and yellow named, Biljana Ilievska, a hooded girl with her right eye obscured by her short blonde hair named, Branka Bojadžieva, and finally, a chipper girl with red twintails named, Ljubica Odžakova.

"Bica, bica, bic! We gonna have a splashin!" Ljubica cheered as she began filming with a selfie stick. 

"Well I'll be, the Skopje zoo had a mass monkey breakout," Vlatka sneered as she laid eyes on the North Macedonians.

All the North Macedonians shot her a death glare.

"Ugh, madam prez, you have to piss off everyone at everyplace, every time?" a woman with long blonde dreadlocks named, Dijana Sabolić, sighed.

"Shut it, sis! Queen Vlatka is queen, bae, like, omg kyaa kyaa!" a bald woman with her entire head and face tattooed in red and white checkered squares squealed.

This was Dunja Sabolić, Dijana's identical twin sister, though the fact was hard to tell due to her current appearance.

"Dijana, you really should be nicer. Ooh! Maybe you need to get enlightened like Dunja!" a blue-haired woman named, Snežana Zebić, smiled. 

"NEM [NO]!" Dijana spat back. 

"Um, like, ew, you got your spit on my shoulder," a sporty girl with a blonde bob and a face covered in makeup named, Nela Bošković, scoffed.

Focus then shifted towards the team from Kosovo, which was headed by a woman with long blue and gold hair clad in a blue blazer, a blue shirt fashioned to resemble the flag of Kosovo, black capri jeans, and dark blue platform sneakers. This was Teuta Kaya, Kosovo's very own president as well as its highest-rated chess player. Her teammates consisted of a bald girl in a lime green tracksuit and sneakers named, Blerta Yeganeh, a woman with a black and red mohawk clad in a red shirt with a black eagle on it, black jeans, and all-black sneakers named, Violeta Hysenbilliu, and two women who looked identical to each other named Shpresa and Luljeta Ulqinaku. These two were actually triplets, with their sister, Albulena, playing for the Albanian women's team. 

Despite being scantily clad in nothing but a blue bra top, black shorts, and blue sneakers, Shpresa was a calm and quiet girl, often considered a voice of reason. Luljeta, on the other hand was a wild girl, infamous the world over as raunchy streamer, LOLJETA. Clad in a skimpy blue bra top, black capri sweats, and white sneakers, the only way to tell the difference between her and Shpresa was the fact that Luljeta's short dreadlock-style hair was dark green while Shpresa's was pink. 

In contrast, their sister, Albulena had not only shaved off all her hair, but tattooed her entire body red like the Albanian flag before having multiple black eagles tattooed all over herself. Needless to say, Albulena was a hardcore Albanian nationalist, and proud of the fact. 

Looking out, Luljeta grinned as she saw a fuming Nikolina staring up at her. "Lol-oh, we got Miss Kosovo je Srbia eyein' us up. Should I flash her with my prized ass n' pussy?" 

"No. I despise those stupid Serbs, but don't go causing public indecency," Teuta snarled as she exhaled a puff of smoke from her cigarette.

As for the Lithuanian team, Ugnė and Eglė were naturally present alongside their teammates. One was a woman with long curly blonde hair that obscured one of her eyes named, Živilė Radžvilas. Flanking her was a bald woman covered in tattoos named, Ingrida Šepetys, while the other was a woman with long orangish-blonde hair named, Jūratė Vyšniauskas.

Once the introductions were out of the way, the teams were assigned a color. Croatia was Red, meaning they went first, followed by Kosovo as Blue, Lithuania as Yellow, and North Macedonia as Green. The game began with Team Croatia moving their pawn to b3, Team Kosovo moving their pawn to c5, Team Lithuania moving their pawn to e6, and Team North Macedonia moving their pawn to f3. Team Croatia then moved their bishop out to b2, and that marked the end of peace on the board.

"Check," Teuta snarled as she moved her bishop to b5 for Team Kosovo.

"Well someone's aggressive. Huddle round, girls. I got a plan," Živilė growled.

Team Lithuania began to huddle close together, causing Ugnė to blush at being able to make physical contact with Ingrida's smooth head.

"Hurry it up, I'm not about to become Miss Bald fetish's snuggle doll," Ingrida snarled.

"You shaved your head, so live with the consequences," Jūratė scoffed.

"GOT A PROBLEM WITH GIRLS SHAVIN' THEIR HEADS, HUH!?

"Break it up! We're on the clock. So Živilė, what say we do?"

"Ignore the check," Živilė nodded.

Jūratė shot her a disgusted glare. "Huh? You soak too much bleach into your head?"

"NATURALLY blonde, and there's strategy to my idea. Chaturaji is a points based game, and capturing the king is only worth 3 points, while the boat and bishop are worth 5. Red likely wants a piece of the pie, so I doubt they'd just let Blue waltz in with a mate, thus they could threaten Red with a check, thus negating everything."

"Then what do we do?" Ugnė asked.

"We counter with a check," Živilė smirked as she exited the huddle and moved the bishop to e7 for Team Lithuania.

"Hmm, mutual destruction. Not interested," Branka scoffed as she ruffled her hair and moved her pawn to f4 for Team North Macedonia.

Now it was Team Croatia's turn to huddle.

"Well what are we waiting for? Take the pawn at g7, then we get the boat next turn," Snežana scowled.

"Well no shit, if pieces didn't lose all their value after the king gets captured! Blue's definitely gonna capture the king, which is why we have to threaten them," Vlatka glared.

"And if they still take?" Nela scowled.

"We eliminate them and face the monkeys one-on-one, the preferable outcome," Vlatka declared as she left the huddle and moved her bishop to c3, nit even bothering to say, "Check."

Luljeta stared at the bishop as Shpresa began to get nervous. "Um, we should probably-"

"CHECKMATE! Eat shit, ya Lithium shits!" Luljeta gleefully shouted as she captured the king at e8 with her bishop, gaining 3 points for Team Kosovo and eliminating Team Lithuania from the game.

"Well nice going, you forgot to take into account our opponents are neanderthal barbarians!" Jūratė fumed.

Team North Macedonia opted to move their pawn to e3, preparing for their inevitable one-on-one showdown with Team Croatia.

"And stupid begets stupid. Checkmate," Vlatka sneered as she shoved Nela aside in order to capture the king at a5 with her bishop and gain 3 points, eliminating Team Kosovo from the game.

"THE HELL! Luljeta! You blew it again!" Violeta fumed.

"Oopsie, guess we goin' blue," Luljeta shrugged as she sheepishly stuck her tongue out.

Team North Macedonia meanwhile went on the attack, capturing the pawn at d2 with their 3-pawn, netting the team a point. This caused a malicious smirk to form on Vlatka's face as she captured the pawn at d2 with her bishop for Team Croatia, bringing their point total to 4 points.

"Um, mind letting us play?" Dijana snarled.

"Shut it, queen Vlatka is our representative, so her will is our will," Dunja glared.

"I do hate to interrupt your bickering, but here's a check with your name on it from Bica," Ljubica smirked as she moved her bishop to g4 for Team North Macedonia.

Yet to everyone's shock, Vlatka seemed thrilled by this development. "You want it? TAKE IT!" she cackled as she captured the pawn at f4 with her bishop for Team Croatia, giving them a total of 5 points overall.

"Don't mind-"

"Wait!"

Ofelio froze as Nevena frantically waved her arm in front of her. With a sigh, she turned and team North Macedonia began their huddle.

"Why'd you stop me?"

"They have 5 points. We capture the king, we'll only have 4, and they'll win!" Nevena whispered.

"Bullshit! We'd be the last team standing!"

"This game is points based. We can't capture the king until we have enough points. Let's try and get the boat out."

Everyone agreed and Ofelio turned back towards the board to move her knight to f3 for Team North Macedonia. However...

"I resign!" Vlatka sneered.

Airhorns blasted out. "WE HAVE A WINNER! With 5 points... TEAM CROATIA TAKES IT ALL!" D.R. Passant proclaimed as shock found it's way to team North Macedonia's faces.

"BULLSHIT! She resigned!" Biljana fumed.

"And the rules say it's permissible. Why, you even get the 3 points for my king anyway, so you got second. Talk about sore losers in need of disciplinary action. Well, enjoy blue hell," Vlatka snickered.

The trapdoors opened, sending all members of teams Lithuania, Kosovo, and North Macedonia into the blueberry juice. The tank was large enough to accommodate all 15, so there was no worry about anyone getting stuck, as all of them were seamlessly sucked through the room before being spat out into the kiddie pool, sticky and blue.

"EW! BICA'S HAIR!" Ljubica cried as she shoved her hands into her hair.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! MY HAIR! I'M GONNA HAVE TO SHAVE IT ALL OFF!" Luljeta cried before cracking a smile.

"We'd better not!" Teuta fumed as she spat out her soggy cigarette.

But none were perhaps more frustrated than Nevena. "Damn you Vlatka... I'll make you pay for this," she thought.

The full game:

Red: Team Croatia (Dunja Sabolić (2259), DSPCM Snežana Zebić (2101), DSPCM Nela Bošković (2134), Dijana Sabolić (2143), and Vlatka Jurkovič (2094)): 5 Blue: Team Kosovo (Teuta Kaja (2458), DSPCM Shpresa Ulqinaku (1696), DSPCM Luljeta Ulqinaku (1903), Blerta Yeganeh (1967), and DSPCM Violeta Hysenbelliu (1791)): 3 Yellow: Team Lithuania (DSPCM Ugnė Šaulytė (2177), Ingrida Šepetys (2176), Živilė Radžvilas (2103), DSPCM Eglė Vizgirda (2007), and Jūratė Vyšniauskas (2005)): 0 Green: Team North Macedonia (DSPCM Nevena Zograf (2541), DSPCM Ljubica Odžakova (2077), DSPCM Branka Bojadžieva (2107), DSPCM Biljana Ilievska (2106), and Ofelio Kanjo (2239)): 4

1. b3 c5 e6 f3

2. Bb2 Bb5+ Be7+ f4

3. Bc3+ Bxe8# e3

4. Bxa5# 3xd2

5. Bxd2 Bg4+

6. Bxf4 Nf3

7. R