Chapter 04 My First Look at the Dungeon I'm Probably Going to Die in

Fiona set down her coffee cup. Stood up. Stretched her arms above her head.

"Ahhh... okay. I think it's time we go. It's time I show you around the dungeon."

"No. No. Hell no. I don't even want to go there. Look around or fight anything. Leave me alone. Set me free."

She picked up her robe. Slipped it over her shoulders. 

"Come on, Kuzu-kun, don't be silly. Stop resisting and follow me."

"Tck! Fine!"

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We walked through the city. Fiona led the way. The dungeon was at the edge of town. A massive stone structure built into the side of a cliff. Big iron gates guarded the entrance. Torches flickered on either side. And in front of the gates stood a group of guards.

Most of them looked bored. Leaning against the walls. Playing cards. Kicking stones. Only two stood at attention. One on each side of the main gates. Professional. Alert.

As we approached, one of the alert guards stepped forward. A tall man with a scar across his cheek and tired eyes.

"Hello there, Miss Fiona. I don't see you on today's list. What brings you here?"

Fiona smiled. Her gentle smile. 

"Hello, Oliver. Not here to tackle the dungeon today. Just wanted to show the first floor to my new buddy, Takumi." She gestured at me, "No fighting. Just looking around. You have my word."

Oliver's eyes flicked to me. Assessed me. Found me lacking.

"Ahhh... I don't know, Fiona. You're a wizard. You can do all kinds of tricks. Who knows what you'll do in there?"

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I got rules to follow. Usually I would let you pass, but I got my butt handed to me by the authorities. Two days ago, Gregor went in with a rookie he recently recruited. Said he just wanted to show him around. Kid wasn't even with the guild. And they were killing monsters. As you know, that's against the rules and I got in trouble."

He sighed.

"So yeah. I... I can't. Please, don't put me in a tight spot."

"Oliver, Oliver..." Fiona stepped closer. Placed a hand on his arm, "It's okay. I understand. But you can trust me. Have I ever made you trouble before?"

 "Well... no, but—"

"Besides." She gestured at me, "Look at him. He has no gear on him. He won't be fighting anything."

Oliver looked at me again. At my clothes. At my empty hands.

She reached into her robe. Pulled out a small leather pouch. 

"I'll even leave my magic item bag with you. That's how much I trust you."

Oliver looked at the pouch. 

"Your... your magic item bag?"

"Just for one hour. That's all I ask. One hour. We go in. We look around. We come out. You can even count the minutes."

Oliver was silent for a moment. Then he sighed.

"Okay. Fine. You have one hour. But if you stay any longer, I'll start counting and send a report to the guild master. And you know he doesn't like entries like these without him knowing."

"Of course. Of course. And after the dungeon, we'll go straight to the guild. I need to register my Takumi as an adventurer. I'll even put in a good word for you with guild master."

"Really?"

"Really. You've always been so helpful, Oliver. It's the least I can do."

"Well, I try. You know how it is. Just doing my job."

"And doing it well." Fiona patted his arm, "I'll be back in an hour."

"Take your time. I mean—" He coughed, "—take exactly one hour. Not more."

"Of course, Oliver. I wouldn't dream of making trouble for you."

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We stepped through the iron gates. They slammed shut behind us with a heavy clang that echoed through the cavern.

I looked around. Rough stone walls. Damp floor. Torches flickering in iron brackets. Water dripping somewhere in the darkness.

"So. We're inside the dungeon. What now? Why did we even come here? It's just a big cave. You could have just told me that."

"Kuzu-kun, before I decide to keep you or not, I need to see your growth. I need you to level up and see how much your stats grow per level. Don't worry. We're not going to level twenty on day one. Just one level up will do."

"Wait. Hold on. Didn't you hear what the guard said? No fighting in here. Against the rules. You just promised him you wouldn't fight! And what will you do if my stats don't satisfy your expectations? Don't tell me you'll feed me to the monsters."

"Oh, silly." She patted my cheek, "Stop it. If it so happens your stat growth is terrible, I will let you go. I will set you free."

"You... you will?"

"Of course. Just so you know, I do not go around killing people for fun. I need you if you're useful. And if you're not... well, I will look for someone else. But so far, you show promise. And as for breaking the rules... Well, no one will know if we just keep it quiet. After you enter the dungeon, no one knows what we do in here. Someone might kill us and just say monsters did it. And no one can prove otherwise."

She says she doesn't kill for fun. But she just casually mentioned that no one would know if we died in here. That's... that's not reassuring.

"This is so messed up! I don't want to do this! I hope my stats suck, and you let me be!"

"Ahhh... don't say that Kuzu-kun. I'm starting to like you."

"Great. I'm thrilled."

"I can tell."

She waved her hand. A shimmer of light. And suddenly there was a wooden stick in her hand. She held it out to me.

"But enough idle chatting. We have little time. Here. Take this."

I looked at the stick. A literal stick. A branch that had been roughly snapped off a tree. It still had little twigs sticking out of it.

"What... Fiona. What is this?"

"Your weapon."

"Really. You're giving me a stick. A stick?"

"Yes."

"A stick."

"You said that already."

"To fight monsters."

"To fight the weakest monster in the dungeon. You'll be fighting Blue Slimes. They're slow. Not aggressive. One good smack and you kill them. Almost no XP, but for one level up it will do just nice."

"Are you serious? I'm about to fight monsters and you give me a stick?! Do you want me to get killed?"

"Like I said, they're the weakest. It will be easy. You don't even need a weapon to kill them." 

She gestured deeper into the cave. 

"Look. One slime is right over there."

I followed her gaze.

Sitting in the middle of the chamber was a blob. Blue. Translucent. Jiggling slightly. It was about the size of a large cat. It was literally just sitting there. Being a blob.

"That... that's a slime?"

"Yes."

"That's the monster I'm supposed to fight?"

"Yes, silly."

"It's just... sitting there."

"They do that."

"It's not even moving."

"They're not very active."

"It's just... a blob."

She slowly turned her head toward me, her eyes slowly looked at mine. Her eyes were glittering in the dark of the cave. Her gaze was devoid of all her previous playfulness.

"Kuzu-kun. Stop stalling. Do it."

Damn it. Looks like I have no choice. Even if I refuse to fight, she'll just command me. And that feels terrible. If I have to fight, I better have control over my body. I'd rather have the option to run away than be forced to fight to the death by the collar.

I took a deep breath.

"Okay. Here I go."

I walked toward the blob. Slowly. The blob didn't move. I got closer. Still nothing. I was standing right in front of it now. It just sat there. Jiggling slightly.

"Uh... hello? Mister monster?"

Nothing.

I raised the stick.

Here goes nothing.

I swung. Hard. With everything I had. Stick connected with the slime.

POP!

It burst like a water balloon. Blue liquid splattered everywhere. I stood there. Frozen. My stick still raised.

"That's... that's it?"

Fiona clapped her hands together, "Good job!"

"It just... popped. Like a balloon. That's the monster? I just killed a monster with a stick."

"See? I told you. Nothing to worry about."

That was... that was actually easy. I just killed a monster. With a stick. And it was easy. I can do this. I can actually do this. Wait. Why am I excited about killing monsters? I don't want to be here. I want to go home. I—

"Ku-zu-kuuuuun~" 

"What?"

"Don't get too confident. We're in a dungeon. Even on the first floor, some real monsters show up. You need to be careful."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll finish them quickly to get that level up so we can get the hell out of here as soon as possible."

"That's the spirit."

I found another slime. Whacked it. Pop. Dead. Then another. And another. 

It was almost fun. In a weird, horrifying way. I was killing things. With a stick. And they were just exploding into blue puddles.

This is messed up. This is so messed up. Why am I having fun?

I whacked another slime. Pop.

"Eighteen!" I shouted.

"Very good, Kuzu-kun. You're doing great! You're almost done, just a few more."

"Nineteen! Twenty!"

I whacked the last slime. It popped. Blue goo splattered across my boots.

LEVEL UP!

A glowing window appeared in front of me. Floating in the air. Translucent. Filled with words.

You have reached Level 2!
HP: 125 > 144
ATTACK: 25 > 36
DEFENSE: 2 > 3
SPEED: 10 > 14
ENDURANCE: 2 > 3
MAGIC: 0 > 0
SKILL POINTS AVAILABLE: 1

"Wait... my attack went up by eleven?!"

Fiona walked over. Looked at the window over my shoulder. 

"Hmm. Interesting."

"Interesting? I went from twenty-five to thirty-six! That's almost a fifty percent increase!"

"Forty-five percent, actually. Your growth rate is... higher than average. Much higher. Most adventurers have a growth rate of twenty, twenty-five percent per level. Elites have thirty, forty percent. You have forty five percent. That's... Good. Very good. Your defense and endurance are still pathetic though. But your attack and speed? Those are impressive. Especially for a first level up."

"I'm... actually strong?"

"Stronger than you were. But don't let it go to your head. You're still weak compared to real threats."

I didn't care. I was too busy staring at the numbers.

Attack: thirty-six. Defense: three. Speed: fourteen. I'm actually getting stronger. For real. This is insane. I'm a gamer. A literal gamer. It's like I'm living in a video game. Why is it kind of fun?

"Kuzu-kun." 

"What?"

"Time's almost up. We need to go back."

She turned. Walked toward the entrance. I stood there for a moment. Staring at the floating window. At my new stats. At the stick in my hand.