Jordan and "Friends"

⌊ Today marked our tenth year of doing this operation. I felt like I was dying inside.

"That would be our meeting for today! Dismissed!"

Even when I said that, it didn't feel satisfying anymore. Zeed would probably notice it too. He knew me for ten years; he would notice it. I couldn't exactly cover it.

"Yord, are you feeling alright?"

No...

"Yes, I'm alright. Don't worry about me. Just do your research, Zeed. I'll be fine."
"If you say so."

He and I... Have a weird relationship. I wasn't really thinking of him as a close friend, yet he thinks we are. I was in this weird loop, and I hate it.

"Jordan, what's wrong?"

Even Wiwin started to notice it.

"It was..."

"Your face looks pale. Want to go to a cheap service doctor?"

Shoot, she's good. Why were you even here, Win? You shouldn't be here, you know!

"No need! I'm alright."

"No, you're not. Just look at you!"

... You have a mirror in your pocket? That was bigger than a hand mirror. What in the...?

"SEE! You even drench in sweat."

"... I'm just going to eat drugs and go to sleep. No doctor needed! Pull stop! We couldn't afford to waste our resources on a doctor service."

She was sweet. She was charming. Too bad, her attitude would be the downfall of her. She was too nice. She was too naive.

She looked at me like my mother. I couldn't... I just couldn't help but make that face smile.

"You sure?"
"Yes. I'll be fine."

I wouldn't. There were many thoughts in my mind. I couldn't think straight. Was I working too hard? I didn't overwork, did I?

"You overwork, didn't you? You know that we have enough for a week, right? Don't push yourself too hard, Jordan."

I know! I know that, Harold!

"I didn't know we had enough."
"... I said it in the meeting. Literally just said it today."
"... Well, you said it too late. I'll be fine, no worries."
"Tomorrow, just get some rest. Don't go to work."

I couldn't. I shouldn't stop.

"Okay, I will get some rest."

I didn't. I stayed awake. I couldn't sleep a wink. I kept thinking about the plan. How should I stir this operation? How should I convince... him? I had a lot in mind, and I couldn't stop overthinking. So, I walked— in the middle of the night.

... That was a mistake... maybe... or maybe not. Because of overthinking, someone with Aura Intensity slipped into my mind unnoticed as I was walking in the middle of the night. It was something... It gave me chills.

"You seemed to have a lot in mind, boy."
"Who are you? I can feel you trying to change my mental state. I don't ask for it."
"But it lets you release the stress, didn't it?"

She... Is she a hero? She wore a cape and a mask, but not the kind most heroes would wear. She looked like a vigilante. She was with the shadow rather than working in the light of day.

"I don't need your kindness. You all can just fuck off."
"Wow, words."
"I'm thirty-seven. I can say whatever I want, old hag."

I was trying to look at her more closely, but she was backing into the shadow even more. She kept herself anonymous, and I couldn't recognise her at all.

"You don't need to know me well, young dud."
"Dud? Really? I didn't even want to look like a stud."

She was old school, huh? Figured... Wait... She was old, wasn't she? Was she one of those heroes who could live more than three to five years? Was she one of the original heroes?

"No, boy. I inherited this power just a year ago."
"... You know, reading through someone's mind was rude? That was uncalled for."
"Oh ho ho. I couldn't control them too much, you know. I'm old. The aura ran itself."

I never knew that power could do that.

"Tell me, witch! What do you want from me?"
"Oh, I didn't want anything from you. I just do what I must."
"... You help me without my permission?"
"I saw you struggling. That's what heroes do... right?

Not too long after that, she vanished. I didn't even know her hero name.

I knew some of the heroes genuinely wanted to help. I knew there were some like her. But I couldn't help but hate her. She was one of them. She was one of the ones who killed my parents. I wouldn't say thank you even if they helped.

"Fuck... Now I wanted to get that kind of power. Did my childhood wishes come back at me? No! I need to stop doing that!"

I realized too late. She planted something in me— the happy feeling. The lost feeling that I haven't been able to have for so long since I lost my parents. She made me want more. She made me want that power.

"Seiza, are you still awake?"
She turned and paused. Then turn back to the machine, "… Ah, Deez. I'm still working on the machine. Could you wait a little bit?"
She still fumbled with our name. I didn't "... No, I didn't ask for that. I want to ask about the computer. Do you use it? I want to use it."

She didn't even turn to when she said, "Use the thightop. The com-com is for CCTV."

Thigh... top?

I was confused. I guess she noticed the silence, and she immediately pointed to something.

"Oh, laptop."
"It's thightop."

... I gave up.

I went inside her room and grabbed the laptop. "Thanks, I'll return it later."

She was still focused on her machine, "Just use it. It served nothing here anyway."

"Okay, thanks."
"No Prob."

You might be asking why I needed a laptop. That witch did it! I felt the need to know. In this apartment, we agreed not to use any suspicious websites. I bypassed that; I had to know. I used the deep web. I searched for an answer here. I wanted to know how to gain them. I felt good! I felt alive. I felt...

"Black... Market...? Intestine? Liver? Heart? What's all this?"

I saw it. I read it. I learned it. The description said Electrica's inside was on sale. It was gross, but... it had a bit of an answer I needed. I had to go. I had to buy it. I had to...

"Jordan?" Harold knocked on my door, and it surprised me.
"HAROLD!!!!??? I eh... Yeah, what's up?"
"Why did you jump? Did I scare you?"
"Nah, I was just jumpy."

He scared me to death with that one.

"I'm sorry to scare you then. Breakfast ready."
"What...? Wasn't this... still midnight?"

I looked at the clock.

"It's nine in the morning already. What do you mean by midnight?"
"Oh..."
"Hey! Didn't I tell you to sleep? Sounded like you didn't sleep at all."

I had to explain things to him. I had to break another rule. I had to hold it. I needed to keep it a secret... for now. ⌉