Zeed's Inner Thought

"You can skip these case files, Zeed. We understand that you can't handle knowing that..." Tasyah was trying to calm me down. I couldn't— I had to be on my toes. I had to be ready, knowing that the killer was my ex-friend.

"No. The fact was a fact, and I don't want to stop."
"Did... Jordan...?
"No. Seemed like he didn't feel remorse. He wanted to kill these heroes anyway."

I might talk in a very bad manner because I could feel Tasyah was uncomfortable beside me.

I quickly apologized, "Sorry, that was uncalled for."
"I understand. Don't worry. I leave it to you then, yeah."
"Thanks, Tasyah. I appreciate that."

She left, feeling heavy. We are in a bad atmosphere in the apartment right now. Everywhere felt dense. It felt claustrophobic. I understood her feelings. I felt that too, especially when I heard my "best" friend had killed somebody.

He fell apart, and I know it wouldn't stop. I was barely keeping my focus on the investigation. Let alone two, the higher-up case and Lasereye. It was a difficult time.

"I wish I could calm myself down."

Then I thought of Aura Intensity. Honestly, knowing different powers because we have Tasyah on the team was making me scared even more to step outside. I envied Wiwin and Jordan, who can step outside without fear. They were stronger than me.

The World Dawn event, where multiple heroes were fighting each other across the world, really fucked me up. Being a survivor alongside these people really made you think, right? These upcoming days would be damning each day.

It would also fucked with you when a day of your "best" friend turned on you happened in a short period of time. I guess I wasn't thinking straight. I should've seen this coming. He has been questioning our mission for twenty years, even before we formed this small group. He was obviously frustrated. Twenty years! Yeah, I would be frustrated too, but I didn't.

My guess was probably because I spent more time inside my room than outside. There weren't many things that I needed to worry about, unlike Wiwin and Jordan...

It just occurred to me...
I never questioned Wiwin and Jordan's job. Was Wiwin's job easier than Jordan's? Did Jordan stress out because he needed to balance his job and mission?

...

I fucked up. As his best friend, I should've noticed this before he turned. Now that halt my investigation and started thinking, it was my fault. He cared about me. He and Wiwin were like a real family to me, especially because I don't have family to begin with.

You had definitely fucked up, Zeed. Well done. This was your moment to connect with everyone in the apartment, but you ostracized one from the group. You were supposed to be his partner, but you didn't. You're supposed to be there for him, but you didn't.

...

I needed some fresh air. I need to walk. I couldn't continue investigating if my headspace was like this. Too much distracting though.

Might as well see if everyone is doing fine.

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

"Come in", seemed like Wiwin was doing alright based on her voice.
"Hey, sorry for interrupting."
"No, no. You're good. I was just preparing for the night."

I hesitated, but curious.

"You're tensing up, Zeed. What's wrong?"

... There she goes again. I hate her guts. She kept on making me feel guilty for making her sad.

"Hey, can we talk about your work?"
"Oh, sure. It sounds nice that you want to know me more."
"... I need something to refresh my mind. I'm overthinking things and couldn't help but keep going. It was distracting my work."

Wiwin grabbed my hands and brought them to her chest. She gently smiled and said, "There you go. You're learning to rely on people. I'm proud of you."

"... Too late for that. I made him turn into something we hated the most."
"Jordan is in the past. We have to let go. And stop blaming yourself! It's not healthy. It's the very things that make you ill."

She was right... But I couldn't stop blaming myself. Wiwin was a part of the group for thirteen years. She was basically almost the same as Jordan. She knew me well. She was my caretaker, if you will.

"Let's sit first so you can have a little rest, okay? You obviously overwork and think. You've been alone for all of your life."

We sat on her bed. I didn't realize she had a hard stone bed. She slept like this? Why didn't she ask for a new bed?

"Ehe... you notice, huh?"
"Huh?"
"The bed has been like this because I don't want to spend our money on something we already have."
"But you insisted on a cheap service doctor?"
"It's for YOU and JORDAN. Do you think I would risk losing the head of operations? And heck, you and Jordan were important when we made this group."

I remembered that, and when I thought about it, it made it clear. I really messed up big time. I was too focused on my ambition and ignored the reason why Jordan even wanted to join the group in the first place.

"You were overthinking again."
"Ow... sorry."
"Okay, we'll start my story then, yeah?"
"Yeah, may I know what your job is?"

She smiled. She looked enthusiastic. I didn't know why, but it actually makes me feel calm.

"I'm a child caretaker."
"... Wait, really?"
"Yeah. I took care of the kids at the kindergarten."

Ah... no wonder she was very caring about the group. I should've figured that out. I'm a detective, dang it!

"It was the easiest job available at the time. Sure, it was a low-cost job, but we still managed to make it through, right?"
"... Was it because of Jordan's job?"
"No, silly. We spent so little on our daily expenses. Most of the cost was for the internet, your investigation, and Seiza's work."

... Great. Now I felt more guilty for pursuing the investigation every day.

"Did we... ever bleed money?"
"Yes. That's where Jordan's job comes from."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, he associated himself as a hero assistant. He got more money than I made."

...

Hero assistant?

"Oh, right. You didn't know, did you?"
"No!!?? When did that happen?"
"He said he wanted to become a double agent kind of thing. I'm not too sure what that means, but I guess now that I think about it, it wasn't a coincidence that he turned."

YES! YEEES! That's exactly why he turned! No wonder he became curious even more after that "witch" helped him. He wanted the power more and more. Thought of it, not just because he was curious. He was there, but out of reach. He was there and wanted to reach it.

"Hey, didn't I say stop overthinking?"
"That's the wrong thing to do, Wiwin. That's your downfall."
"Huh? Downfall?"
"You're too pure and naive. I should've known Jordan wasn't turning over a week. He built up his addiction. He couldn't stand that he needed to wait. While I was researching, he kept closing the gap so he could strike his enemy."

That wasn't a coincidence. That was a buildup, and I never noticed it before because I was ignorant.

Wiwin looked down at the ground and thought it over herself. She laughed, "I guess I am... too soft."