In-between Night and Mære

Lilith and Alise sat on the floor, their pajama’d bottoms comfortably cushioned by firm, fuzzy pillows. While Alise enjoyed hosting many different kinds of parties in the privacy of her room, tea parties were her favorites. The aroma of tea wafting through the air, the clinks and clanks of porcelain cups, the scrumptious taste of tea treats. The only thing more delightful than teatime was sharing the experience with others, and though Alise always enjoyed having small groups of friends over, this particular get-together was more intimate.

The fun had started with a noon teatime and as the day progressed they had chatted about nothing and everything. Alise had braided Lilith’s long pale golden locks into pigtails and Lilith had tied Alise’s short, dark brown hair into very high bunches. Though Alise was much better at styling hair, Lilith’s attempts were positively encouraged no matter the outcome.

The girls wound-down their festivities by sun set; they had already washed off their face masks and painted each others’ nails while talking about their week. Evening teatime seemed to come too quickly, as usual, and Lilith enjoyed a final snack before retiring to her room for the night. She leaned her head on her hand, trying to stay focused as Alise laughed at a story she was telling. By Alise’s hand gestures and facial expressions, Lilith was sure the story was quite humorous, but she had been getting less and less sleep of late and couldn’t remain focused on Alise’s words.

“-Ilth? Lilith!”

Lilith startled, almost falling forward. When she looked down she noticed her tea cup knocked over, she had accidentally tipped it. “Uggg” she groaned out loud as she lifted her wet elbow. Alise let out a soft laugh and placed a napkin over the spilled tea as Lilith wiped her own dampened arm.

“Still having trouble sleeping?” Alise probed.

“I’m sorry, I’m trying to keep awake. I enjoy our girl-time, but once the sun went down my mind…it just..” It felt like her brain stopped functioning for a second and she lost what she was trying to say.

“I understand, you’ve mentioned before. Have the nightmares gotten worse?”

Lilith’s head was heavy, a weight that could only be relieved with a pedestal to rest it on, but she slowly nodded. “He’s always chasing me, the faceless man. Sometimes…” she paused, her voice unconsciously lowered, like a secret was about to be revealed, “Sometimes he catches my cross brace as I run from him and…he makes me dance...”

She stopped speaking as her eyes drifted to the strings coming from her wrists. While she looked like a normal little girl, the magical strings attached to her were a constant reminder that she was, in actuality, a marionette. And like all puppets on strings, she too had a wooden control that could be used against her. Her eyes traveled to the cross brace by her feet and she sighed, but continued. “No matter how I try, no matter where I go, he finds me.” Lilith laid her head down on the table, as if the very weight of it had become too heavy. “The frustrating thing is that I know it’s just a nightmare, even while I’m dreaming, and I still can’t do anything about it. I tried taking control, like you suggested, but it’s…” Her head knocked against the table a few times in frustration.

Alise watched as Lilith despaired across from her. Their weekly hangouts had become fewer since Lilith’s nightmares started getting worse. The last few months she had become less and less like her normal active self and spent more time resting and dozing. Alise gnawed at her lip as she watched Lilith falling deeper into exasperation. Making an internal choice, Alise stood and rummaged through one of her drawers, pulled out a small satchel, and brought it to Lilith, who seemed like she was about to pass out.

“I have something for you, it’s a special blend of tea that should help you sleep…”

Lilith’s head shifted so she could see Alise’s face as she spoke. Although Lilith was exhausted, she could tell by Alise’s expression that she wasn’t terribly excited about handing over this tea. Lilith sat up and took the satchel, opening the drawstring to waft the tea’s scent. It smelled sweet, but she couldn’t place it. Lilith cocked her head as she pulled the drawstring to a close. “Are you sure you want to give this to me?”

Lilith wasn’t sure where Alise’s reservations stemmed from. It was then Alise sighed and her shoulders drooped. “I’d honestly hoped the other ‘remedies’ you’ve tried would’ve solved your problem…this tea will work, however it can be tricky…” She trailed off. “You must only steep a single teaspoon for a full minute. No more than that.”

Alise seemed very adamant, but it was clear she didn’t want to say anything more. All sorts of questions began swimming in Lilith’s mind, but she was desperate for slumber, and pushed the questions from her head and smiled, “Thanks Alise, I’ll try it tonight.”

After returning to her room Lilith put her nightgown on, washed up, and sat on her bed with her arms rested on the adjacent nightstand. She watched as bubbles formed in the water kettle she had requested to use in her room that night. Hypnotized by the sounds of the simmering water starting to boil, her eyes glazed over. The water bubbled loudly and violently until the switch flipped off and the sound jarred her back to her senses. She carefully measured a teaspoon of tea and placed it into a strainer. Alise was very specific about this, so I have to take it seriously. She’s usually so la-di-da, so maybe this has a dangerous element.

That’s what she decided to believe; that if the dosage was too much the tea could be harmful. It would make sense as to why Alise was reserved about it and why she hadn’t recommended it until now. Usually she’d get all the facts, but she trusted Alise. The hot water filled the teacup and Lilith put the tea strainer in the water right when the time struck eight-thirty, then kept close watch at the clock’s face.

One minute…Her eyes began to close but she continued to count to sixty in her head. When she opened her eyes and saw eight thirty-one, she immediately took the strainer out, however, she failed to notice the time turn ‘eight thirty-two’ as she placed the tea strainer onto the saucer.

Lilith lifted the cup to her mouth, closed her eyes, and blew the hot liquid. Her mind drifted as she did. Normally, around this time, Lilith would enjoy an enticing adventure book filled with action, fantasy, and a smidgen of romance, but currently her bedtime routine was more streamlined; once her body settled down she’d fall asleep only to have nightmares.

After a few minutes Lilith tested the temperature and found it acceptable. As the tea warmly coated her throat, she wondered how it could taste so potent when there was barely any leaf in the amount steeped. It was as sweet as it smelled. It has a peculiar after-taste, it’s unique, but nice.

Satisfied that she had followed Alise’s directions exactly, she slipped under her covers, turned off her night light, and closed her eyes. It didn’t take long for her to drift into a deep, deep sleep. Lilith’s consciousness seemed to melt away as slumber took her, but ever so slowly she regained awareness. It seemed like she was drifting gently downward, like a feather calmly floating towards the ground. She couldn’t tell if her eyes were opened or closed, everything around her was dark, but she wasn’t afraid.

She couldn’t sense the usual telltale signs of her nightmares, the eerie silence before the storm, the shudder before the sound, everything was quiet. She could feel herself take deep breaths in and out, as if she was meditating in the darkness. Her heartbeat seemed like it was coming from somewhere else, the calm steady beat vibrated in her own ears.

Finally she felt her descent end and realized she was laying on something very plush and downy. A blanket of some sort? Lilith felt below her as she sat upright banging her head on something hard. “OUCH!” She nursed her head with her hand, then felt around the darkness until she discovered what she had hit. What is this? Her hand inspected the object in the darkness, it was a corner of some sort. A table? There was a familiar smell in the stagnant air and she sniffed deeper and deeper until she realized what the scent was. Cedar?

She used the flat surface of the table to steady herself as she stood, and looked around the black space until she noticed a dim light in the distance. Once she gathered her wooden cross brace and fastened it to her back like a pack, she carefully moved, waving her arms out in front of her, finding and warding away objects in her path. The light grew stronger as she closed in on it until finally her hands felt a wall and she quickly deduced that the light was streaming in from the crack of a door.

The knob creaked open and Lilith’s eyes were met with such sudden brightness, her face scrunched up and she immediately closed her eyes. Waiting for them to adjust to the light, she opened them once again and looked back into the room that had been so dark before. It seemed like it had been a living space that was now abandoned. There was small furniture, upright and overturned, strewn about and torn upholstery everywhere. Thankfully I landed on something soft…

The room contents were hard to decipher since most of the room was still dark, but tears in the fabric looked like claw marks. Was there an attack here? This place kind of gives me the creeps. A small chill ran up her spine, she’d rather not stay there much longer, so she turned back to the doorway. Looking down at the top of the door’s arch, she was slightly concerned at how small it was. Whoever lived here was exactly half my size, she used her body to measure the height of the opening.

Bending down she collected her cross brace and maneuvered it through the hole first, then crawled through herself. She stood up, patted the dirt off her nightgown, fixated her wooden control to her back, and finally took in the brilliant and strange surroundings.

Everywhere she looked there were flowers towering above her, tall as trees. So many colors and shapes of flowers, she wished she could be bigger to see the full landscape. Her eye line traveled all around until she was looking back at where she had crawled from. It was an impossibly tall tree, stretching so high she couldn’t tell if it ended at all. “It is a cedar tree.” She felt satisfied that she had guessed correctly, even though the scent of cedar was hard to misdiagnose.

Noticing a trail not too far from her, Lilith decided to follow it. As she walked a huge smile grew on her face. “What’s the point in dreaming up something so pretty if I don’t press forward?” Her innate adventurous spirit, mixed with the excitement of having an honest to goodness dream in so long, almost made her skip. It was like a dark weight had been lifted and she felt so light she could soar through the sky at any moment. But her feet remained planted, and that was fine by her. The clearing led to a number of makeshift paths and Lilith stood at the crossroad silently thinking to herself. Which way should I go first?

She glanced down each path but couldn’t choose. Instead she closed her eyes, spun around in circles and came to a sudden stop, pointing straight in front of her. She opened her eyes and let her spinning head settle to see the path she had chosen. Slightly askew from her finger, but still the closest, was a walking path lined with stones. Without hesitation she proudly strutted down it. It’s been forever since I had any kind of adventure. She took a very deep breath, the air was fresh and fragrant and her nose was filled with a cool aroma of flowers. Lilith marveled at how real everything seemed, from the textures to the scents of this dream. I guess there was something in that tea after all. She walked closer to the stones, though more like boulders at her size, and ran her fingers over their gritty surface as she continued forward. They even feel real. As she marveled at the quality of her dream, she began hearing the faint sounds of voices. Oh, someone’s here? She quickened her pace to a trot and purposely followed the sound until her face scrunched, I know that voice!

Lilith began to run until she rounded a corner into a vast clearing of well trimmed landscape, which was in stark contrast to the natural and overgrown path she had come from. Situated in the middle of a short-trimmed field, completely exposed to the elements, was a long marble table. Behind the table were groups of people playing different lawn games. But wait, were they people? As she approached closer she realized that they were not people at all, but creatures mis-wearing all manner of clothes. From tutus as neck frills to pantaloons as hats, they seemed to not know how to wear the garments, but their body language displayed a refined etiquette. Lilith laughed to herself, but decided to pay no mind to the silliness of anything she might see, it was only a dream after all.

Sitting at the table were many creatures, large and small, but at the head of the table sat non-other than Alise herself. Excited, Lilith trotted closer to the tea party until Alise called to her, “Ah, a new friend! Come, Guest, enjoy afternoon tea with us!” Nodding in agreement, Lilith noted the one vacant spot at the table, walked to the head seat directly opposite of Alise and happily situated herself. Though they were far apart, Lilith studied Alise and wondered if the Alise in her dream would “know” her. She didn’t call me by name, so I guess dream Alise doesn’t know me. No matter, she’s still the same Alise, hosting fun parties even in my dream! Lilith beamed a huge smile at Alise, who gracefully lifted up her cup in response.

A medium-sized stuffed white cookie rabbit lifted a teapot towards her, as if non-verbally asking if she wanted her cup filled. She looked all around the table, taking in the strange faces of the party members. Perhaps it was because they were animals, but the smiles they all wore seemed awkward and strained. Don’t judge them because of how they look, she admonished herself. Smiling at the cookie rabbit with the teapot, Lilith nodded, “Yes please, I’d love some.” With shaky little hands the creature poured the tea, ever so nervously, until the cup was filled. I feel bad, maybe I should have poured it myself, but it’d be rude to reject its hospitality, right? The teapot clanked as the nervous cookie rabbit placed it down.

As Lilith took the cup and began blowing the hot liquid, she made casual conversation to try easing the rabbit’s nerves, “What’s your name?” The stuffed cookie rabbit’s eyes grew very large as his pupils darted too and fro. Completely oblivious to the other creatures’ sights shifting towards her all at once, Lilith was too focused on the trembling white cookie rabbit to notice, Oh no, what if I’m making him nervous?? She quickly whispered, “It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything.” She had meant it to be reassuring, but instead his eyes, which were now focused on a single point, were about to bulge out of his head. Only then did Lilith look around and notice all the eyes on her, piercing gazes as if she had done something wrong.

Her smile fell as she studied the scene, something was amiss and no one was going to tell her what. Lilith’s gaze traveled down the table, noting the fear-filled faces were still forcing smiles, and finally to Alise, who lounged in her chair quite regally. Alise’s eye almost burned into her and then shifted towards the rabbit, who was fixated on Alise. With a curt nod from her, the white cookie rabbit jumped and turned to Lilith, placing his paw over his mouth, signalling for her to be silent. Then he nervously reached his paw to her saucer and lowered it until it rested on the table. Lilith’s gaze shifted back to Alise, who seemed to be studying her quite meticulously.

This party is very strange, everyone is clearly scared, but they are still smiling…why? Her eyes hadn’t left Alise, who was almost smirking. Dream Alise is the only one comfortable here, like she has the power…but it’s my dream..so…I should do something about it. As Lilith was remembering the things Alise taught her about taking control in dreams, she was quickly distracted by something, dream Alise looked different than real Alise. Before Lilith could say anything, Alise raised her hand and spoke, “We have a new guest, let us lift up our drinks to her expected arrival and commence the festivities.”

Like a single motion, they all followed her command and lifted their cups, looking at Lilith whose mind was stuck on Alise’s interesting phrasing, did she say “expected arrival”? Very quickly Lilith realized they were waiting on her, “Oh!” She lifted her cup and followed their lead, but she was too suspicious to drink anything. After the creatures finished their tea they all began merry making, and the dread that had come over Lilith dissipated slightly. For a moment it seemed like a different kind of nightmare…snap out of it, Lilith, Alise gave me this tea so everything is just fine.