A surname? I have one of those?!

Seriously, guys, it’s 1543 AC, what sort of inn still has an outdoor toilet? This really is the middle of nowhere. Bet they only discovered irrigation, like, last week. Well, whatever, being a wandering hobo means I really don’t have the right to complain about conditions like this, I was literally used to peeing in the woods.

Though, on the plus side, when you pee in the woods there’s normally not some lady in a red cloak and mask standing there watching you.

“I’ve been waiting for a chance to speak to you,” said the tall lady with the smooth voice.

“...may the very ground shake at my comma- ouch!” She hit me over the head with a staff!

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“What else am I supposed to do when there’s some creep waiting for me at the toilets!”

“I’m not trying to spy on you urinating, you idiot child!” She put her hand to her forehead as if I’m the crazy one. You’re the one trying to watch me pee, lady! “If you had unleashed an Inferno spell at this range you’d have killed the both of us!”

“Well I didn’t claim to have thought it out, in my defence.”

“Good grief…” She shook her head, all exasperated like. Y’know I’m really not sure where a pervert who follows kids to the toilet gets off acting like the sensible one here, but hey, I was socialised by pack animals in the woods so what do I know? “Anyway, if you are quite done trying to commit an overdramatic murder-suicide, I’d like to explain my purpose here. You see, I am the one who drew that pack of beowolves here today-”

“May the very ground shake at my comma- ouch!” She hit me again! Though I really don’t have any excuses that time, I was 100% cognisant of what I was doing. For some reason this idiot seems to think I’m scared of dying. I grew up fighting little beasties with my bare hands, hun, I am not afraid to blow myself up.

“I wasn’t trying to kill anyone, you fool, I was testing you.”

“Not trying to kill anyone? Not even the girl that ran all the way to us with a beowolf nipping at her tail?”

“You mean the girl I deliberately diverted into your path, knowing she’s the only mage in this area with enough magic to draw beowolves to her?”

“…carry on.”

“As I was saying,” she said, as if she had literally any right to be annoyed here, “this was a test for you, to see how you would respond. If you had failed to act, I simply would have killed the beos myself.”

“A test, yeah? So how’d I do? Pretty awesome right?” Oh no, I was getting smug again. Maybe the praise really was going to my head.

“I admit, your actions today were good,” she replied, “but your motivations were… unimpressive. You lack the heart of a hero. Much work must be done before you’re fit to save our people.”

“Ahh, so that Greedy Nobleman guy sent you, huh? Well, tell your boss how great of a job I did-“

“You are mistaken. It is not this kingdom that you must save, but our people.” Her voice got all dramatic and stuff, and she waved her staff in front of her face. And as she did, a glowing red ball formed at the top of it, and the air around us got just a little bit colder as she drew in mana.

“No way… a fire mage!” I couldn’t stop myself from springing forwards and grabbing her unoccupied hand with both of mine. “I knew I wasn’t the only one of us left!”

“We are few in numbers in this land, but yes, some of us yet live.” She gripped my hand and lowered her staff, letting the fireball dissipate into mana. “But our existence is threatened each day. And there are those who would see us snuffed out entirely. That is why I am placing my hopes in you, as the last of a once-great line of powerful mages.”

“But then, if you wanna make me a great hero or something, why not come with us?”

“I cannot make you a hero, my dear. If heroism lives in your heart, I can only draw it out. For that, I must put you through these ordeals. My apologies, but that is the only guidance I am capable of giving you.” She pulled her hand away from mine and placed it on my shoulder, crouching her knees slightly to reach my eye level. Her mask only covered her eyes, so from this level I could see that she was really quite the beauty. She'd definitely get at least two oxen and a goat as dowry. “You have potential, my dear. Do not see it squandered.” She took her hand off my shoulder and turned away towards the empty plains of the grasslands behind her. “We will meet again, Bakuchan, last of the Infernus clan.”

“Ah- wait…” I reached out to her, but retraced my arm, instead watching her back slowly grow further away. I mean, I could never be cruel enough to ruin someone’s awesome exit like that. But I had a question I desperately wanted to ask her. “My surname is freakin’ ‘Infernus?!’ That’s cool as hell, why did no one ever tell me?!”