Chapter 6: Insurance Fraud + Terrorism

The first thing Luna noticed...

Was the sky.

She stood perfectly still.

Looked up.

Blue.

Just...

Blue.

No ocean.

No drifting whales.

No glowing jellyfish.

No fish.

No castles hanging beneath the sea.

Nothing.

She frowned.

"...Who stole my Queendom!?"

Stefan floated beside her.

He saluted.

"...Exactly, I'll only sell three generations of their family, how am I not kind?"

She looked around again.

"...This place is gross."

One of the older children smiled.

"Come on."

"We're almost there."

Luna happily skipped after them.

"Okay!"

She had no reason not to trust them.

They smiled.

People who smiled were usually nice.

Probably.

As they walked, Luna looked everywhere except where she was going.

Everything fascinated her.

The roads were made of smooth stone instead of polished coral.

The trees actually stood on the ground.

Birds flew instead of swimming.

"..."

"...Weird."

The city itself was beautiful.

Cleaner than she expected.

Rows of flowerbeds stretched beside wide streets.

Little cafés overflowed with people laughing over warm drinks.

Children chased one another around a fountain.

An old man fed pigeons while reading a newspaper.

Shopkeepers greeted passing customers with cheerful smiles.

Even the buildings looked welcoming.

They weren't as magnificent as Atlantis...

But they had character.

Luna nodded approvingly.

"..."

"...I like this place, I should buy some property here to establish dominance over the local economy."

One of the kidnappers glanced back.

"...Really?"

She nodded.

"It smells happy."

"...Smells happy?"

"Yes."

She sniffed the air dramatically.

"Bread."

"...Flowers."

"...Sun."

"...Old people."

"...That's happiness."

The kidnappers stared.

One quietly whispered,

"...What does that even mean?"

Another shrugged.

"I don't know, we're gonna sell her anyway."

Luna suddenly stopped walking.

The others stopped too fearing she heard them.

"...What now?"

She pointed across the road.

"...Dog."

"...Yes."

"...Dog."

She nodded seriously.

"...Excellent."

The golden retriever looked at her.

Its tail immediately began wagging.

Luna gasped.

"...It approves."

She waved enthusiastically.

"Hello!"

The dog barked once.

Luna turned back to the kidnappers.

"...We're comrades now, sir Rufus will take over this city for me."

Five minutes later...

"So..."

She looked around.

"Where are your dragons?"

"...We don't have dragons."

"..."

"...How do you travel?"

"...We walk."

"..."

She blinked.

"...Everywhere?"

"...Yes."

"..."

"...That's horrible."

She looked at the older children with pity in her eyes which annoyed them.

Another few minutes.

"So where are the sea serpents?"

"...We don't have those either."

"..."

"...You people are really committed to this land thing, you ever think it's not a little cringe?"

Another minute.

"...Where do your fish sleep?"

"In rivers."

"..."

"...Tiny rivers?"

"..."

"...Yes?"

Luna sighed dramatically.

"...Your world has major problems."

The kidnappers were beginning to look tired.

One rubbed his forehead.

"...Does she ever stop talking?"

Another shook his head.

"I don't think so."

"I've never met someone who I just want to drown."

"Good luck with that you fucking idiot, she can breath underwater"

Luna looked up at a tram passing overhead.

"..."

"...What's that?"

"A tram."

"..."

"...Does it taste good?"

"..."

"...What?"

"The tram."

"..."

"...No."

"Oh."

She sounded genuinely disappointed.

An elderly woman walked past carrying a basket of apples.

She smiled warmly at Luna.

"What a lovely little girl."

Luna smiled back.

"Thank you!"

The old woman reached into her basket.

"Would you like an apple?"

Luna's eyes lit up.

"...For free?"

"Of course."

Luna accepted it with both hands.

"..."

"...Earth is amazing."

The old woman laughed and continued on her way.

Luna looked at the kidnappers.

"...See?"

"This is how you grow your forces, that old woman right there was actually an ancient witch capable of slapping Lucifers booty from ten dimensions away."

None of the kidnappers had the heart to explain that strangers giving children apples wasn't actually a rare occurance.

Eventually...

The cheerful streets became quieter.

The cafés disappeared.

The music faded.

They turned into a side street where older apartment buildings stood between newer offices.

Luna tilted her head.

"..."

"...Your buildings look dead, believe me, I would know, I'm something of a professional when it comes to being dead."

Sadly they ignored Luna

One of the older boys unlocked a weathered wooden door.

"We're here."

Luna peeked inside.

Dust.

Broken furniture.

Peeling wallpaper.

The smell wasn't nearly as pleasant.

"..."

"...Never mind."

"...This building is leagues above me."

She stepped inside anyway.

The children pointed towards a staicase.

The staircase groaned beneath their feet.

Each step sounded older than the last.

Creak.

Creak.

Creak.

Luna looked down.

"..."

"...This building is making old people noises."

Nobody replied.

They were beginning to regret bringing her here.

Fourth floor.

The oldest of the children pushed open a battered apartment door.

It scraped loudly across the floor.

"Get inside."

Luna skipped in happily.

"...Thank you."

She looked around.

The apartment was...

Awful.

Broken tables.

Rotting wallpaper.

Several cracked windows covered with wooden boards.

Dust floated lazily through beams of sunlight.

A chair was missing one leg.

"..."

Luna frowned.

"...Who decorated this place?"

Nobody answered.

"...Because I'm going to sue them out of their underwear."

One boy smirked - "Just the underwear?"

"Yep!"

The boy looked at the window and contemplated his rugby skills, he could definitely push Luna out of a window if he tried.

The last boy entered.

Click.

The door locked.

Luna looked over her shoulder.

"...You're much safer than the previous fascility."

One of the kidnappers sighed.

"...Sure."

"...Safety."

The smiles disappeared.

The oldest folded his arms.

"Listen carefully."

Luna nodded obediently.

"I'm listening."

"We lied."

"...Okay."

"We're not helping you."

"...Okay."

"We kidnapped you."

"..."

"...Okay."

"We're going to sell you."

Luna blinked.

Silence.

She looked genuinely thoughtful.

"..."

"...Sell me to who?"

"A collector."

"..."

"...Like stamps?"

"...No."

"...Coins?"

"...No."

"...Dragons?"

"...NO!"

"Oh."

She nodded.

"...That sounds boring, can't you sell me to someone who collects... ohh I dunno... the corpses of Gods or something equally funky?"

Another kidnapper laughed.

"I don't think she understands."

The oldest rubbed his forehead.

"I noticed."

Luna looked around the apartment.

"..."

"...Can I sit down?"

"...What?"

"My legs are tired."

"...Do whatever you want."

"...Thank you!"

She sat on an old wooden crate.

Folded her hands neatly on her lap.

"..."

"...Now what?"

Nobody answered.

Instead they gathered in another corner.

One took out a communication crystal.

Another counted stacks of money.

Another peeked through the window.

"Is the buyer coming?"

"He said he's on the way."

"We shouldn't stay here long."

"What if somebody saw us?"

"They didn't."

"You sure?"

"...No, I was speaking out of my ass."

Luna waited.

One minute.

Two.

Three.

She looked at the ceiling.

A spider crawled across a cracked beam.

"...Hello."

The spider continued walking.

"..."

"...Rude, Stefan make an example of that creature"

The spider then disappears never to be seen again, the other spiders all collectively bring offerings to their new tyrant God Luna... mostly dead flies but it's the thought that counts.

Five minutes.

She swung her legs.

Nobody acknowledged her existence.

She cleared her throat dramatically.

"Ahem."

Nothing.

She tried again.

"AHEM."

Still nothing.

"..."

"...You're all really bad at kidnapping."

One of the boys snapped.

"Would you shut the fuck up for five minutes! Jesus Christ of Nazareth I promise on your name this child is going to get drop kicked soon?!"

Luna blinked.

"..."

"...That's not very nice."

He sighed.

"...Sorry."

"...We're stressed."

Luna nodded wisely.

"...Have you tried not being stressed?"

Silence.

Another kidnapper slowly turned toward him.

"..."

"...She has a point."

"...Don't encourage her or else I'll stick a pipe down your throat"

The kidnapper smiles cheekily.

"NO! NOT LIKE THAT, you know what shut up, stand in the corner and stay there until you starve."

Another minute passed.

Luna sighed.

"..."

"...I'm bored."

No response.

"..."

"...Still bored."

Still nothing.

"..."

"...Exceptionally bored."

The oldest didn't even look at her.

"We're busy."

"Oh."

She nodded.

"...Busy is important."

A pause.

"..."

"...Can I be busy too?"

"No."

"..."

"...You're making this difficult."

Luna looked toward the only person who always listened.

"...Stefan."

The little bubble floated closer.

His mustache seemed unusually majestic today.

He saluted.

"..."

"...What do you think?"

Another salute.

She smiled.

"...You're right."

Stefan hadn't actually said anything.

But Luna was convinced he'd contributed meaningfully.

She hopped off the crate.

Clapped her hands together once.

"I've reached a conclusion."

Nobody cared.

She puffed out her cheeks.

"...Fine."

"I'll announce it anyway."

Still nothing.

"..."

"...I've decided we're playing tag."

One teenager frowned.

"...What?"

Luna pointed directly at him.

"...You're it."

He blinked.

"...Kid..."

"I'm not playing games."

Luna smiled brightly.

"...Too late."

She looked at Stefan.

"...Tag him."

Stefan saluted.

Then gently...

Very gently...

Floated forward.

He bumped into the teenager's chest with all the force of a soap bubble.

...

The teenager shot backwards like he'd been struck by a meteor.

BOOM!

He smashed through the apartment wall.

Then another.

Then disappeared into the neighboring building.

Silence.

Dust drifted lazily through the enormous hole.

Nobody moved.

Luna stared.

"..."

"..."

"...Stefan do be hitting the gym."

Nobody moved.

Nobody breathed.

One of the kidnappers slowly looked toward the hole in the wall.

"..."

"...Eric?"

Silence.

Another swallowed.

"...Eric?"

A voice echoed faintly from somewhere in the neighboring building.

"...I'M OKAY!"

CRASH!

"...nOt ANymORe"

Luna smiled.

"...Excellent."

She gave Stefan a thumbs up.

"...Good tag."

Stefan saluted proudly.

The oldest kidnapper finally snapped.

"Break her legs!"

Three children rushed forward.

Luna's eyes sparkled.

"Oh!"

"...Everyone's playing!"

She laughed.

"This is much better than waiting."

A bubble appeared over one boy's head.

Pop.

He floated helplessly toward the ceiling.

Another bubble wrapped itself around someone's legs.

He tripped.

Face first.

Into an old sofa straight into a stain.

Luna clapped.

"...Again!"

One girl cast an intermediate fire spell - Dark Flame Lance.

It flew toward Luna.

Stefan drifted in front of her.

Pop.

The fire vanished like someone had blown out a candle.

Luna blinked.

"..."

"...Magic seems pretty mid."

A chair came flying toward her.

She ducked instinctively.

The chair smashed through a window instead.

"..."

"...That wasn't very chair-like."

Within moments...

The apartment had become complete chaos.

Someone was stuck inside a bubble rolling around the room.

Someone else was hanging upside down from the ceiling by bubble ropes.

One particularly unlucky kid had somehow become trapped inside an old wardrobe.

Luna had no idea how.

"..."

"...You're all surprisingly bad at tag."

The oldest kidnapper backed away.

"...She's..."

"...She's a monster..."

Luna frowned.

"..."

"...That's rude."

She folded her arms.

"I've been very polite, had I not been you'd be having a meal with your ancestors humph!"

His eyes darted toward the knife tucked into his belt.

He had one chance.

The little girl wasn't paying attention.

She was busy trying to see whether bubbles could bounce off walls forever.

Quietly...

Slowly...

He pulled the knife free.

No one else noticed.

Not even Luna.

He lunged.

The blade raced toward the back of her neck.

Stefan moved.

For a single heartbeat...

The tiny bubble disappeared.

Standing in its place was something impossible.

A towering knight formed entirely from shimmering blue water.

Ancient armor.

A flowing cloak of liquid mana.

A magnificent bubble mustache.

The room itself seemed to tremble.

The knight didn't draw a weapon.

He simply...

Looked.

The kidnapper vanished.

Not exploded.

Not burned.

Not thrown away.

He simply ceased to exist.

Like someone had erased him from reality.

The knight shrank.

In less than a second...

Stefan was once again a tiny floating bubble.

Mustache perfectly straight.

He saluted.

Luna turned around.

"..."

"...Did something happen?"

Stefan saluted again.

"..."

"...Fair enough."

A loud crack echoed through the apartment.

Everyone froze.

Another crack.

Then another.

The walls shuddered.

Dust rained from the ceiling.

Luna looked upward.

"..."

"...I think your house is falling over."

Nobody had time to answer.

The floor lurched violently.

The support columns, already weakened by several unwilling games of tag...

Finally surrendered.

Outside...

People looked up.

A deep rumble rolled through the street.

A café owner stopped wiping a table.

A florist looked toward the apartment block.

Children paused in the middle of their game.

The entire building...

Shook.

Then...

Half of it collapsed.

Stone crashed onto the street below.

Windows exploded outward.

A cloud of dust rose high into the afternoon sky.

People screamed.

Parents grabbed their children.

Shopkeepers rushed outside.

The cheerful street descended into panic.

Several long seconds passed.

Then...

Out of the settling dust...

Walked a little girl.

Completely unharmed.

She brushed a piece of plaster off her shoulder.

"..."

"...Oops, Stefan, how quickly can we buy insurance so I don't have to pay for this?"

Stefan floated faithfully beside her.

His tiny bubble moustache somehow remained immaculate.

"You're right, I'll just send the bill to mother."

Silence spread across the street.

No one moved.

No one spoke.

A woman covered her mouth.

"..."

"...Was..."

"...Was she inside that building?"

An old man stared in disbelief.

"..."

"...She destroyed it..."

A shopkeeper slowly stepped backwards.

"...She's a witch..."

Someone farther down the street whispered,

"...A terrorist..."

Another repeated it.

"...A terrorist..."

Then another.

The word spread through the crowd.

Like ripples across still water.

"Terrorist..."

"Monster..."

"Dangerous witch..."

No one knew what had happened inside.

No one knew children had been kidnapped there.

No one knew criminals had been operating beneath their noses.

All they saw...

Was a little girl...

Walking calmly from the ruins of a collapsed apartment building.

Luna looked around.

Everyone seemed frightened.

She tilted her head.

"..."

"...Why's everyone sad?"

Nobody answered.

She smiled anyway.

Raised a hand.

And waved.

"Hello!"

No one waved back.

"..."

"..."

"...This worlds people are a little shy."