The crack of dawn? That early?!

“Immanuuuuel, why is it always ‘the crack of dawn?’ Why can’t it be ‘the crack of noon’ or ‘the crack of 2pm?’ I hate waking up early!”

“Because it’s safer to walk under daylight, and I want to reach our destination sometime this year.”

“I can make daylight!”

“No, you can make firelight. Daylight stops monster attacks. Firelight is a giant beacon that says ‘look, eat me!’”

“Then I’ll just blow all the beasties up!”

“Ah yes, the perfect way to let the locals know we’re to be trusted. Explosions in the dead of night. It is truly a wonder how you ended up in prison.”

“Hmph!” I crossed my arms to show I was grumpy at him. I thought it was a good idea. Who cares about a little scorched earth and loud noise if we’re dealing with the local pests? I wouldn’t even charge! Maybe just... ask for donations.

Just as I was preparing to use my signature move of pouting and whining, followed by my even more signaturer move of threatening to set him on fire if I don’t get my way, I heard the footsteps of two people approaching. I turned to see Misty and her mum on their way over to us. Misty was wearing a deep blue robe, a little too long for her, with turquoise highlights on the arms and sides.

“Hmm… yeah, you really nailed the look, Mist. This is definitely what a water-themed adventure protagonist would wear at the start of her journey. Very nice, very nice!”

“Th-thanks…” she sounded a little unsure, like she didn’t know if it was actually a compliment or not. I thought I was being pretty clear honestly. Then again, she did look mighty nervous. I know these country bumpkins often never leave their little communities so this was probably a lot for her. That meant it was my duty as her new best friend to show her all the excitement of adventure!

“Mr Fredrick, my Mizuha is capable and brave, but she is also only a girl of fourteen. I know we’re troubling you with this request, but I ask that you keep her safe on your journey.” Misty’s mum bowed to Immanuel as if he actually deserved it.

“Of course, madam. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure Bakuchan doesn’t cause your daughter any harm,” replied Immanuel, so deadpan I actually thought he might have been serious.

“Hey, why do you assume I’m the biggest problem here?!”

“Because your only talent is turning the landscape into a crater.”

“Excuse me?! I’m plenty good at other things! I killed a bear cub with by bare hands when I was a six year old living with the wolves!”

“Yet you can’t walk long distances or wake up early without complaining.”

“I’m a night owl!”

“I thought you’re a wolf cub?”

“It’s an expression!”

“Please express yourself by shutting up.”

“May the very ground shake at my comm-ow!” Okay, I’ll admit it, I deserved that one.

“It certainly seems it will be an interesting trip,” chuckled Misty’s mum, while her daughter giggled like a school girl next to her. At least our new companion seemed like less of a big grumpy pants than the old fart. Maybe our long walks would finally provide more entertainment than seeing how much I can annoy him before he clatters me.

Misty’s mum put a hand on her shoulder, then wrapped her in a hug.

“Stay safe, my darling daughter. I’ll miss you every day that you’re gone.”

“I’ll come home safely, mother. And I’ll be the greatest mage you’ve ever seen.” Misty hugged her mum back, her voice cracking just slightly. Yeah, this was the good stuff. The protagonist leaving the world she knows behind to pursue adventure with her new companions. A teary eyed farewell with her beloved family. Yeah, I could see it now. The good end, where she returns home a national hero and retires as a humble countryside mage. A classic set up, really.

But as much as I loved my adventure tropes, at some point we had to actually get to the adventuring part.

“Alright! Misty, Immanuel, I hereby declare this the beginning of our journey as a newly formed party, Bakuchan’s Heroes Of The Elements! And our first order of business? Crossing this big river!” I gave a big sweeping spin with my arms out, pointing out the first obstacle we had to tackle. I mean we were right next to it so I really didn’t need to, but it’s the thought that counts, right? “So! Uh… where’s the boat we’re taking, ehe?” Maybe I should have thought about that first.

“Boat?” said Misty, looking surprisingly smug and twirling a ball of water on her fingertip. “Who needs boats?”

***

“Woaaaah!” I gracefully and beautifully slid right past Misty on the ice path she had created on the river. It was so slippery I didn’t even need skates. So cool. Not as cool as my inferno but I was still a little jealous.

“Bakuchan, slow down! I can only freeze water that’s… so… far… away…” she trailed off as I scrambled to stop and may have sorta kinda dunked myself right in the drink. “I knew that would happen,” she sighed.

“Idiot…” muttered Immanuel, following Misty along the ice path and picking me up out of the water with wind magic. Instead of actually dropping me back on the path he just sort of suspended me there for a second, looking at me all disappointed like while my clothes dripped into the river.

“I’m cold and wet.”

“Whose fault is that?”

“No comment.”

Immanuel rolled his eyes and dropped me back on the path. You don’t have to be a dick about it, man.

He let me down on the ice path, but I was still freezing cold and dripping wet. Thankfully I happened to have a spell for warming up myself and my clothes. So I held my staff high above my head to absorb nearby mana, let the warmth spread through my body-

“Wah!”

-and immediately fell back into the river as the heat melted the ice.

“Oh, Bakuchan!” called out Misty, exasperated. “Mr Fredrick, shouldn’t we help her up?”

“No. Let her swim. She needs to learn her lesson.” The jackass took one look at me and walked away! I had half a mind to set his hair on fire!

Misty looked back and forth between me and Immanuel, conflicted, before eventually bowing and giving me an apologetic look.

“Sorry, Bakuchan!” she said, crossing the river with Immanuel. Less than a minute after leaving her home and she’d already been corrupted by that bastard. This was gonna be a long journey.