Scroll 0.1 - Twelve Years Ago..., Part 1

"There are no beasts here." It was the same words my father always said whenever the kingdom knocked on our door.

My mother would hide me away from the windows while my father talked with them outside. She would shutter the curtains and make sure my siblings were always busy. At least busy enough that I wouldn't be spotted.

"We'll be coming back in a week's time. It's customary that's all." My father stifled out a laugh, just like always.

He would act friendly with them, but in reality he despised the military. He hated the king and everything he was doing to our country. It's why he moved us out to the countryside-away from the bustling towns and shops. My brother would go with him to the markets every weekend to try and scourge up some cash. My family hoped we could one day cross the border into Anglessia.

"Of course, of course. It's no trouble at all. You have to do what you can to protect Leticié." As much as he tried, there was no sincerity in his voice. How could there be? It was an act.

"We'll be seeing you then."

Curiosity got the better of me and I peeked from behind the dinner table. Despite my father's attempts at friendliness, their faces remained stern and their voices professional. My mother, who had been chopping potatoes for tonight's dinner, shoved me back to the corner of the kitchen once she saw I was peeking.

"Safe travels!" My father waved and bowed as the soldiers got on their horses, their gallops fading the further they got from the farm. A loud boom echoed once Father slammed the door shut. Finally, I could come out.

"How much longer will we have to do this?" My parents looked at each other, then the patches of fur growing out of my cheeks. Then my tail dragging across the floor, my muzzle protruding from my face, before finally my clipped ears at the top of my head. A sorrowful sigh escaped from my mother.

"Until we don't have to anymore."

---

I looked around the dinner table as our family ate. Rudin and Ursetta sat to my sides, their utensils grazing my face as they fought for each other's leftovers. Mother, of course, admonished their behavior, especially when Rudin's knife almost stabbed my snout. Only Father seemed to notice that I was stewing in my emotions.

"Am I a burden?" My response silenced the table, except for the noises of silverware lightly clinking against the dinner plates. That and Rudin's gnawing on his meal.

"Why would you think that, Juuta?" Bits of meat and potato splattered across my section of the table as Rudin spoke. "We wouldn't keep you with us if we thought you were a burden."

Despite his tone, his words were somewhat comforting. Their consolation fluttered away as Ursetta grabbed one of my ears, though. While she only meant to inspect it, her grip was a bit rough.

"I do wonder why we don't just hide your appearance with magic, though." It would make things easier. At least, that's what us children thought.

"Mana Stones are rather expensive nowadays. We'd lose more money than we'd gain. And considering no one here is attuned to magic in the first place, it's a dangerous gamble." Father took a big bite of his rabbit, trying to choose his words carefully.

He always told us the truth, but he never wanted us to panic. The air was heavy. Father looked at me, eyes closed and with a big smile.

"I promise you, Juuta. Two more months and then this will all be over."

It was the first lie Father had told me.

---

The lamp flickered as the three of us got into our beds. Shadows and orange flames danced around the walls. While Rudin and Ursetta were still rowdy in under the covers, I withdrew into mine. Despite everything, I felt like I was a weight on my family's shoulders.

The wood outside our creaked as Mother came up the stairs. It was something Father needed to fix, but he always put it off because of his dreams that we would go to Anglessia someday. Even Mother, who was usually patient, kept telling him to work on it. She had a soft expression, but I could tell she was a bit annoyed.

"Alright, you two." She was obviously addressing my brother and sister. "It's fifteen past nine. It's time to settle down and go to sleep."

"But I'm not tired—!"

"Can we at least have a story first?"

Rudin tried to pelt Ursetta with one of his stuffed animals that Mother had sewn, only for it to be caught mid-throw. It was as if Mother had used Teleportation Magic.

"No, not tonight, especially after that behavior."

Ursetta giggled as Rudin sank under his covers. Mother tossed back his stuffed animal—a chimpanzee, I think it was called—only for it to hit the wall and bounce between it and the tattered mattress. I tried to ignore the commotion as much as I could...

...But eventually I saw Mother's face as she knelt next to my bed.

"Don't worry a single hair on your head, Juuta." She said that to me as she scratched the top of my head. Whenever people did that, my body had this warm, pulsating sensation. It was nice.

"I can't stop worrying... You guys only worry about one person. I worry about four..." Guilt swam up inside me. It was like the ocean surrounded me. I had never been to the ocean, but I heard it was a vast place full of water that went deep down for miles and miles... I was sinking in my own worries.

"...Do you want to know a secret, Juuta?" She pulled my covers back so I would look her in the eyes. "I worry about the others, too. I know we only talk about hiding you and everything like that, but I am concerned about the roads Rudin and Ursetta will go... and what would happen if your father and I got captured."

"Then why did we take me in?" I tried to turn back to the wall. "Why would you keep me with you if all it brings is pain?"

"...Because the pain is caused by our love for you. We wouldn't worry about each other if we didn't love you, Juuta. Even your father, who is tough as nails, airs his grievances about what will happen to his children to me. So don't worry for us, Juuta... Let us worry for you."

It took a lot for me to hold back tears. The only way I could hide them was by hugging Mother. Of course, I loved her, possibly more than anyone in the world...

...But I didn't want my pain to show any more than it already had.

Eventually I had to let go. Mother seemed to notice I had been crying, but she quickly hid her concern, putting on a cheerful smile as she rubbed her thumb under my eyelid.

"Feeling better?" I nodded.

That was her queue to stand up and tuck in the others. During that entire talk, the energy they once had had drained from their system. Ursetta's arm was hanging off of her bed and Rudin was already half-asleep. Mother kissed both of their foreheads before going to the lamp, opening it up so the small flame was exposed.

"Good night, my children." I was the only one to respond, still having a bit of energy left.

The room turned from a warm orange to a deep, dark indigo as she blew the flame out. She did her best to quiet her footsteps. One of the advantages—or sometimes disadvantages—of being a beastman was that my hearing was a lot better than that of a human's. Despite the fact that she had left our room, I could tell she was still outside our door. Quietly, she spoke.

"Please... Please protect my children..." Tears were streaming down her face as she chanted the prayer.

Let us worry for you...

I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling as the moonlight creeped into our bedroom. No... don't just worry for me, I thought.

Let us worry for each other.