Regret

~Reina’s Perspective~

Monday morning, it has officially been two weeks...

Two agonizing weeks had passed since Kaito and I had agreed to stay away from each other... My plan had worked; the rumors about us have finally died down.

I should have felt a sense of accomplishment and overwhelming relief. Instead, something deep within my chest, all I felt was a crushing sense of guilt.

The memory of the last two weeks played on loop in my mind. The cold shoulder, the forced distance, completely shutting him out, and that argument... 

Remembering what I said to Kaito made me feel sick.

But all that guilt paled in comparison to how I felt about that annoying prick, Asano.

Every time I saw him and that stupid, narcissistic smirk of his, a surge of pure disgust and anger went through me. He looked at me like a prize and acted like the entire student body would bend the knee just to his every whim. 

What did he expect? That I’d fall for him just because he’s the golden-boy president of the soccer club? He's been flirting with me like an idiot for two weeks, even going so far as to ask for my number. 

Like I'd ever want to be associated with a guy that's so full of himself. I had only entertained his efforts because I thought it was a shortcut—if people saw me with a “suitable” person, my reputation would be protected and the rumors about Kaito and I would burn out faster, and then... Then we could finally go back to normal.

This morning, before class I was staring at the last conversation we had over text before class, regretting my decision of being completely radio silent.

But, today's the day where class can go back to being... normal again. I had so many things I wanted to tell him; I had to apologize. 

As I glanced to my side, my smile vanished instantly. Someone else was sitting in his seat.

I scanned the room in a sudden panic until my eyes found him. Kaito now sat at the back row, putting four rows of crowded desks and a dozen people between us. He didn't speak a word to anyone. He just sat there, a hollowed-out version of the person I knew, staring at his screen with eyes that looked like they hadn't seen sleep in days.

That’s weird, I thought, a strange, cold flutter starting in my chest. He’s always sat next to me. Since day one.

“He must still be playing his part”, I whispered to myself, my heart doing a strange, uncomfortable flutter. "Y-yeah. Just maintaining the professional distance. He's being thorough. That's all."

Right after the final bell rang, and as the students began to rush into the corridors. Kaito was gone before I could even pack my things. When I rushed out of the classroom to catch up, there was no sign of him anywhere.

He must’ve left early for his shift... I thought to myself, turning around and heading towards the grand library.

I haven’t been able to focus on studying for the upcoming midterms in these past two weeks. 

It felt like everyone had their eyes on me, judging my every move. I’ve lost countless hours of sleep just thinking if anyone had noticed the fractures in my public composure.

I was going to the library in the hopes to clear my head and study, wishing that the familiar, quiet atmosphere would bring me some peace.

On my way to my secluded spot, I stumbled directly into a scene that completely shattered my heart.

Someone—a girl whom I didn't recognize was leaning across the wooden desk. Her face was inches away from Kaito’s, and she was holding food directly to his lips, laughing softly as if they were the only two people left in the world. 

And Kaito... Kaito hadn't pushed her away. He just sat there.

The moment he saw me, we accidentally locked eyes for an agonizing second before the hot prickle of tears blurred my vision. 

I abruptly broke the eye contact, aggressively running the sleeve of my blazer across my face to wipe the moisture away before running out of the building.

My heart tore itself to pieces with every step I took. “You pushed him away” a bitter mocking voice whispered in my head. “He’s found someone else.”

Hours later, when the library had closed, I was still at the academy; I still couldn’t bring myself to go home. The heavy, suffocating silence of the empty campus only worsened the chaotic thoughts spinning in my head.

That was when I spotted him.

He is walking towards the exit with his head hung low, his silhouette swallowed by the long evening shadows.

"Kaito!" I called out, breaking into a run toward him. My voice is sounding more desperate than I intended.

But he didn’t stop. He just kept walking towards the exit...

Desperate, I reached out, grabbing the edge of his sleeve. "Kaito!" I gasped, trying to catch my breath as I forced my voice to regain some composure. 

He stopped. For a moment, he didn't turn around. His shoulders seemed heavier than they had been two weeks ago, he braced as if he were expecting a blow rather than a conversation. When he finally looked back at me, I felt my heart drop.

There were dark circles under his eyes—hollow, bruised shadows that looked far worse than usual. 

"The rumors are gone, Kaito..." I whispered.

"I know."

"Then why are you still avoiding me? Why did you move your seat? And... who was the girl you were with in the library earlier?"

He looked at my hand on his sleeve, his expression blank. There was no anger, no smirk—just a bone-deep exhaustion that made him look a thousand miles away.

"It's none of your business, Kujo."

I felt my chest tighten, my fingers curling into the fabric of his blazer. "It is my business, Kaito!” I snapped, my voice echoing throughout the empty halls. “I know you’re mad... and I’m sorry for how I treated you! I’m sorry for everything... but you have to understand that everything I did was for us!...”

"For us?" he repeated, a small, familiar smirk filling his face. It was that same expression he had during our first day that same fighting spirit, but now it was warped with a bitter mix of irony. 

He finally faced me fully and stared at me with those red-rimmed, hollowed-out eyes. "There is no 'us,' Reina. There never was."

"Kaito, stop it—"

"You know... I'm actually glad that we stayed away from each other..." he interrupted, his voice a dry rasp.

"You... you don't mean that..."

"These past two weeks... finally cleared my delusion that made me blind,” he continued, his face looked like he was holding back tears. “I let myself forget my place in the hierarchy. You were right from the very beginning, Reina. I don’t belong in this academy..."

I felt a hot sting of tears I refused to let fall "B-but, we were—"

"We were nothing," he interrupted, leaning in just enough for me to see the raw, red exhaustion in his eyes. "You even said it yourself, Reina. You would pay for the debt only because you wanted our rivalry to keep going."

"Kaito... you know that my reason changed... That I changed..." 

"Your plan worked out in the end didn't it? Your image remains untarnished. You've beaten me, and you even found yourself a suitable partner to stand beside you." 

"Kaito, that’s not—that guy means nothing to me!" 

“Nothing?” he scoffed, his eyes narrowing with a spark of anger. “Then what about the kiss in the library? Was that part of your elaborate plan too?”

“What kiss?” I gasped, my chest tightening in that moment. “I didn’t kiss—"

"Don’t lie to me, Reina! Even from afar I saw everything. How he just casually leaned down and...”

“He didn’t!” I screamed, the truth tearing out of me. "He leaned in, but I pushed him back! Like I would ever allow him to touch me!"

He didn't say anything, he just stared at me with a heavy, unreadable gaze.

“Kaito you have to believe me—”

"I've made my decision" Kaito whispered, reaching into his bag and pulling out a thick, unmarked envelope. He pressed it into my chest, the weight of it forcing me to let go of his sleeve to catch it.

"What is this?" I whispered, my heart hammering against my ribs. 

"One million, yen; it's the first installment. I was going to wait until I had more," he said flatly. "But I think it’s better for the both of us if I start settling my debts with you now."

I stared at the envelope, the paper felt heavy and utterly wrong. "I didn't ask for this back, Kaito! I don’t want your money! I need you to stay and be—”

“Be what? Your Rival?" He stepped back, his voice shaking. "You’re wasting your investment, Reina. Check the rankings. I’m fifth now. My grades are slipping... I’m not the 'Star Crest' weapon you paid for anymore. So just... Take the money and go..."

Driven by pure panic, I desperately lunged forward, catching him by the shoulders, "I don't care about the rankings! I care about—"

"Give up, Reina...” Kaito whispered, his voice slightly cracking as tears finally ran down his face. "But you really care about me... Let me go." He reached up and slowly took my hands off his shoulders.

“Kaito, please—”

"This is for the best Reina...Goodbye..."

He turned away, his silhouette slowly blurring as he walked into the lights of the orange sunset. While I stood frozen in the center of the hall, the heavy envelope of cash clutched against my heart. 

“Kaito...” I called again; my voice was only a fraction of what it was just a moment ago. But he just kept walking 

I looked down at the envelope as my tears hit the brown paper of the envelope, one after the other. My vision fracturing into a thousand jagged pieces of light.

The envelope slipped from my numb fingers, and the cash poured out on the polished tiles.

Then my legs gave out, causing me to fall to the ground, sobbing.

I was on the ground, lost in a daze of silent tears, until a familiar-arrogant voice cuts through my silent sobs: "Reina? what happened?"

A pair of expensive leather loafers appeared in my blurred vision. "Why are you still here? My soccer practice just ended... don't tell me that punk did something to you?" 

"..."

 "Come on, stand up.” Asano continued, his grip tightening slightly around my arm as he tried to pull me to my feet. "You shouldn't be on the floor like this.” 

"Stay away..." I choked, my voice trembling with a sudden, sharp venom.

"Reina, you're hysterical," his grip tightened slightly as he tried to pull me to my feet. "Whatever he said to fall on you, it doesn't matter. He’s nothing. Let me take you home. My driver is—"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" 

I wrenched my shoulder away nearly knocking myself over. I looked up at him, with pure fury in my eyes.

“You... you have no right to talk about him." I spat, my voice hoarse. "And don't you dare act like you know what I need."

"I was just trying to help—" Asano stammered as he reached for my hand again.

Smack

I slapped his hand away with every bit of energy I had left. 

"Leave me alone!" I screamed, collecting the crisp bills on the floor. "Don’t you ever come near me again!!!"

Without waiting for his response, I sprinted off towards where Kaito went, hoping to find him waiting for me.

But as I turned the corner , there was nothing. Complete emptiness. 

"Kaito... You were the only person who saw right through me," I whispered to the empty street, my voice shattering entirely. "Please... come back."