Send her home? When she just got here?!

“Goood morning Immanuel!”

I wandered on into the cathedral, which now only housed the few injured people and the medics attending them. The elderly couple were still in a real bad way, but everyone else seemed to be on the mend.

“Bakuchan, could you please not waltz in and start making noise? People are here for medical treatment, you understand?”

“Of course I know that, silly Immanuel. That’s why I’m here! To check up on my trusty sidekick!” I bounced over to the makeshift bed where he was currently laying, apparently trying to rest his injury or some rubbish like that. Typical of these coddled humans. When I lived in the forest with the wolves, you know how we dealt with injuries? We either walked them off, or we died! Though, I suppose I couldn’t risk Immanuel dying since he’s the one who carried all the food, so I suppose I could let him have a bit of a rest. “So, how’s that back of yours doing, Immanuel?”

“Not great, but getting better. Sorry, Bakuchan, but we likely won’t be moving on for another couple of weeks yet.”

“Hmm… well, I suppose that gives me more time to spread the word of my heroics and build my legend, so you’re forgiven!”

Now that I had completed my goal of appearing sympathetic every now and then, I turned to leave the cathedral and go extort the locals for free food. But Immanuel grabbed my sleeve and stopped me.

“Bakuchan… when we get on the road again, I think we should take Mizuha home.”

At first I assumed it was a bad joke. I mean, Immanuel’s never been the funniest guy in the world. But looking in his eyes made me realise he was serious.

“But… Misty only just joined us… you wanna abandon her already?”

“I don’t want to abandon her. I just don’t want her to get hurt.” Immanuel pushed himself up into a sitting position, which seemed to hurt his back a bit. “If she freezes up like that again, it could end much worse for her. I promised Mizuha’s mother that I’d bring her home safely, but I just don’t think I can guarantee her safety when she’s clearly not ready for this level.”

“I can protect her!”

“And what if you’re not around? Or you’re occupied? Or it’s a danger that fire can’t stop? What if the only person that can save Mizuha is herself, and she hesitates? Can you protect her then?”

“I… I don’t…”

This was wrong. This was all wrong. I had just gotten a new friend! A friend that was my age! Do you know how rare those are when your job is to be a wandering vagabond who sets things on fire? The last one got executed! Now I was supposed to let Misty go too? I couldn’t just let that happen!

“Idiot! Mean!”

“Bakuchan, wai- argh!”

I stormed out of the cathedral. Immanuel tried to reach out to me, but couldn’t go far because of his back. That gave me time. Time to prove that Misty could stay with us. After all, I was pretty sure I knew what was wrong with her. And if I knew the problem! I could find the solution! I was sure of it! I had to be!

Alright, Mist. Where are you?

***

“Misty!”

“Ah-!” She jumped out of her skin and fell on her ass, which, to be clear, was not my intention, but was admittedly kinda cute. And she didn’t freeze herself into a block of ice this time, which is a bonus. “Bakuchan… you scared me…”

“Sorry, Mist, but I’ve got something important to ask you!”

“Eh-? Uh… ask away?”

“Why didn’t you freeze up when the beowolves were after you? Just before you met us?”

“Ah- you realised…” she backed away a couple of steps and looked down at the ground. She was smiling, but looked kinda sad. It was weird. “It was… after that happened that I started freezing up when scared. I guess I end up thinking back to it every time. It’s silly, right?” She rubbed the back of her head awkwardly.

“Uhh… but you got out fine, right? And you took down all the beasties on your own. What’s so bad about all that?”

“Almost all of them, remember? I ran myself out of mana before I could kill the last one. If you and Mr Fredrick hadn’t saved me, I’d have died that day.” While Misty rubbed her arm sheepishly, I made a mental note to whack the masked lady in the head next time I saw her. “Since then, whenever I have to react to something quickly with my magic, I remember what happened then. And I get all these thoughts in my head. ‘What if you do it wrong again?’ ‘What if you get yourself killed?’ ‘What if you get everyone else killed?’ Over and over until it’s too late to act.”

“But… if you don’t act, you’ll just die anyway, right?”

“Silly, isn’t it?”

I didn’t get it at all. If something is threatening your life, you put your all into stopping it. Then if something else comes up afterwards, you stop that too with whatever you’ve got left. That’s how I’d always lived and it had kept me alive. So why freak out about something that might not even happen when you could instead just deal with what’s in front of you? It didn’t really make any sense to me whatsoever. But it seemed to have Misty really down on herself.

“Well… we can work through that! More exposure to danger, that’s what I say! Prime that fear response for fight, not flight!”

“Actually, Bakuchan…” she suddenly sounded even more sheepish than before, “I think… when Mr Fredrick is healed… I’m gonna go back home to my family…”

“What?!” First Immanuel, now Misty? Why was everyone intent on separating us? It’s unfair!

“I’m a liability, aren’t I? If you can’t rely on me to react quickly, I’m just going to cause more harm than good. It’s best if I just get out of your way so you and Mr Fredrick can travel safely.” There was that stupid sad smile again! Stop doing that!

“But you wanted to get stronger to protect your family, right? You can’t do that if you just abandon your journey now! What about becoming a hero?! The best water mage your hamlet has ever seen?! Are you gonna turn your back on all that?!”

“If it means I won’t be putting my friends in danger anymore, then I’m okay with that.”

“I’m not!”

“But it’s my life, Bakuchan.” She shook her at me, like she was disciplining a child. “If I decide that getting stronger isn’t worth being a risk to you and Mr Fredrick, only can make that decision, okay?”

Why? Why when things had just started to become fun was it already falling apart? Who cares if it’s dangerous! Who cares if it’s risky! I want to keep my friend! I want her to travel with us! If that’s selfish, then I’m selfish! I don’t care! Everyone’s acting like they’re protecting me but I don’t need protecting! I’m strong! I can be strong enough for all three of us if I need to be! No one else had to worry! Why didn’t they see that?

I felt myself starting to clench my fist. I was letting myself get angry. I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t. But it was pissing me off.

“…hey, Bakuchan?” Misty snapped me out of my own head, and I looked up at her. She seemed conflicted about something. “The… villagers said the aqueduct has stopped getting water since after the flood. I was gonna go see if I can fix it. Do you… wanna come with?”

…I still had time. I could convince them both that Misty should stay with us. This might be the chance to show how.

“Yeah, Mist,” I replied, trying not to let my emotions show too clearly on my face. “I wanna go with you.”