Magic is an Insufferable Art

Eight hours.

Eight hours was how long it took Kairan to chew through rope.

Unfortunately, it only took him six hours to lose his mind, trapped in a small cart with a cocky, boastful elf that didn’t know how to shut up. It felt as if his ears would fall off, thankfully he didn’t have any to lose. It was a thought that had intrigued him for a short while, ‘Just how did he hear without ears?’

Almost as soon as the horses started moving, Faelyn, the damned elf, began recounting all his grand adventures to Kairan. To the point where Kairan couldn’t think of an escape plan because Faelyn’s voice had inscribed itself onto his brain. Instead, Kairan spent the time studying his captors, absorbing Faelyn’s fables and using them to construct an identity for each of the adventurers.

By the sounds of it, this was their third quest adventuring together.

Maria was the name of the woman in charge, a position she held by the simple fact that she had formed the group, originally with just the ‘bear’, and that the other four were all far too inept for the role.

The ‘bear’ who steered the cart had a name. Garth. A man of few words and many grunts. According to Faelyn’s tales, the man specialized in beast taming, but Kairan couldn’t find any around.

Their young mage was Alphonse, or Al as he was more commonly called. From the few accounts mentioned, it seemed the boy’s magic mostly comprised of spells to disable a target. What surprised Kairan most about the boy was his sky-blue hair – a colour he found unnatural. He was also the cause of Kairan’s delayed escape, for a good while the boy had proposed to keep casting the enchantment on Kairan, but the effects dwindled too quickly and the continued effort left him a haggard mess toiling away at the back of the cart. Eventually, he gave all together.

The crossbow lady was Cali, the group’s trapping and woodlands expert, who held a strong disdain for the elf, Faelyn.

And finally, Faelyn. The legendary charismatic savant as deft with his sword as he was with his words…at least that was what his stories made him out to be. There was even mention of how he’d served as a member of the royal guard in his homeland. A fact Cali rebuked every time it came up. He also happened to be the only one not native to the island, hailing from Lynreath – the great continent spanning forest.

Pleasant rays of warmth engulfed the cart as it rolled out from beneath the canopy, accompanied by the sweet chorus of birds that danced around the trees they left behind.

“AND THAT’S how yours truly tricked a giant into jumping off a cliff,” finished Faelyn, giving a small bow to an invisible audience before leaning back against the cart rail.

“I don’t think it’s too interested in your stories, Faelyn,” commented the ‘bear’, noticing Kairan’s deadpan stare at the elf.

“Nonsense. Now let me tell you about the time I stole a water serpent’s eye,” said Faelyn, brushing off Garth’s comment.

“By Hermia’s arrow! Will you shut it!” yelled Cali, only able to take so much of his nonsense for so long, “Could we have five minutes of peace.”

Faelyn opened his mouth to contest but reconsidered.

“Thank you.”

As the silence ensued, new sounds appeared around them; a small brook bubbled away somewhere, the wind gently rustled the grass around them, and tiny creatures hidden from view, scurried about.

It surprised Kairan just how much he could now hear.

The scene changed again as they crossed through an old, abandoned farm. More sounds, ominous in nature. Wind whistled through gaps in the old farmhouse; shutters rattled on their hinges and the entire building groaned. They passed by quickly, paying it no mind. Just another thing lost to time.

And after exactly five minutes…

“So anyway, it was deep in the eastern swamps of my homeland…” continued Faelyn.

“Lady Huntress give me strength!” yelled Cali, accompanied by Kairan’s groans.

The muffled sounds of laughter came from the back as Al – who had tucked himself into a corner with a book – desperately tried to hide his laughter in the sleeve of his oversized robe. Failing miserably, he fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

Seeing Al find amusement from their discourse; Cali couldn’t help but feel the anger towards Faelyn dissipate.

Kairan sighed, or what came close when you were gagged, and resumed his deadpan stare at Faelyn.

He’d almost finished chewing through the rope that gagged him and the bindings on his wrists and ankles had been stretched to a near breaking point. All that was left was to wait for the most opportune moment.

As the time passed midday, and began descending into the evening, the cart reached a sizable clump of trees. Providing some much-needed shade from the sweltering weather, it also provided Kairan his chance his escape as the cart suddenly pulled to a halt.

“Time for a short break, would you accompany me please, Ms. Cali?” asked Maria, as she climbed out of the cart.

"Of course,” replied Cali, following suit.

“Make sure to take care of that thing gentleman, we won’t be long,” instructed Maria before her and Cali made for the trees.

“You know, I feel in the mood for a walk. Best to stretch your legs after a long carriage ride,” mused Faelyn aloud before getting up.

In a swift and impressive motion, Cali spun on her heel, brought the crossbow to her shoulder, and fired a bolt. It flew between Faelyn’s legs, missing him by centimeters and Kairan’s stalk by even less. Instinctively, Faelyn covered his lower half and Kairan jerked to the side.

“Hey! You almost hit me!” Faelyn yelled. Kairan wanted to add to Faelyn’s complaint with his own but kept quiet.

“Why do you smile upon him, my Lady?” retorted Cali, loading another bolt while eyeing Faelyn, as if daring him to repeat his words.

With her threat understood, Cali and Maria disappeared between the trees.

“Gah, woman hey?” Faelyn said to Kairan while he shook his head before sitting down. “Tell you what, where I come from you wouldn’t find a single elvish woman with as miserable an attitude as Hers. Is it a human issue or what?” he asked aloud, getting a huff from Garth who paid Faelyn’s spat little attention and shrugged shoulders from Al, who was too young and far too kind to voice an opinion.

“What about you myconid? Ever had any woman trouble?” Faelyn asked.

Kairan cocked his head to the side, pretending to indulge in Faelyn’s question before rightening to look at him again.

“Nope,” Kairan replied before kicking Faelyn in the chest and knocking him backwards out the cart. With freedom close at hand, Kairan felt unstoppable, he jumped to his feet and ripped the bindings on his wrists apart.

The first to react was Al.

The boy raised his staff, pointing it at Kairan, but just as one of the five blue crystals embedded into the wood began to glow, Kairan ripped the staff from Al’s hand and planted a hard but restrained kick against the boy’s head. His head knocked on the rail, and he fell still.

Kairan snapped the staff it over his knee before tossing the pieces aside and turned to meet Garth.

The man threw a powerful over arm punch, but Kairan was ready. He took a step back and parried the strike off-course before countering. He struck Garth in the cheek with enough force to knock the large man onto his back.

A painful landing, falling on the rail of the cart, but he wasn’t out of commission. He let out a growl, one far deeper and menacing than any sound he’d made before. The hair on the back of his hands blackened and grew thick as the nails on his fingers began to resemble claws.

“The hell?” said Kairan, distracted by the transformation. Something coiled around his left ankle.

Al was just barely holding onto consciousness; blood ran down from his forehead and over his right eye. His breathing was quick and unregulated.

Magic cast without the staff was clearly difficult for him.

Kairan felt a surge of electricity run through his body; he arched back in pain unable to even scream. He never got a chance to recover as a mass of black fur slammed into him, knocking him out of the cart.

He winced as he lifted himself off the floor, his chest hurt. Guess the beast he tames was himself, Kairan thought as looked up at Garth.

The man was bulkier than before, a thick pelt of black fur coated his forearms and neck.

“Alright,” Kairan said and raised his fists.

It seemed his first punch had been a lucky one. Everything he threw at Garth was dodged or countered and any grapple that Kairan initiated, Garth broke out of easily.

Preoccupied, Kairan failed to take notice of their surroundings, as he was slowly being lured towards Al’s staff. As soon as they stood over it, Garth lashed out. The sudden attack caught Kairan by surprise and bought Garth the chance to swoop up the broken pieces and throw it back to Al.

Kairan capitalized on the sudden opening. His blow, a decisive uppercut, left the bear-man groaning on his backside.

After a quick breath to recover, he turned his attention back to the cart. “Crap,” he cursed and broke out into a sprint.

Al had retrieved his upper part of his staff and already started his chant.

Kairan didn’t even make it two steps before a blast of light engulfed him. Like before, he could feel the control over his muscles vanish as they tightened of their own accord, leaving him unable to move.

“Hurry!” Al spurred, “It’ll break out of that in no time!”

The second Kairan heard the words, he understood. Even as he was processing the words, feeling was already returning to his fingers.

Unfortunately, Garth had a better understanding and wasted no time to grab the coil of rope and wrap it around Kairan. This time choosing to just bind his arms to his body with several loops of rope.

Kairan was furious, he strained and flexed, putting all his power into forcing his arms apart. Miraculously, the rope began to give way; the outer fibres stretched and one by one began splitting.

Garth was stunned at the feat and could only curse.

Al however, still had his wits, and quickly began casting another spell. Orange light floated from the second crystal on his staff and clung to the rope.

All of Kairan’s struggles became pointless, as the spell's effect took hold, the rope became sturdier and heavier. He felt burdened by iron chains. Their weight pulling him down, even with all his newfound strength.

I’m starting to hate magic, Kairan thought, barring his teeth.

“What an unsightly creature. Are we just going to forget it kicked me out the cart and tie it up again, like it didn’t just break out?” grumbled Faelyn, using the rail as support to pull himself up while rubbing his neck with his free hand.

“That was for not shutting up,” Kairan smirked, “And for a legendary hero, you’re quite useless.”

Faelyn turned to Garth, “Why is it not gagged?”

“Out of rope.”

“Then use something else.”

Garth’s left brow twitched, “Sure Faelyn, shall we rip up some cloth?”

“Excellent idea, Garth, this is why everyone gets along with you. Rip away, my good sir,” said Faelyn, waving his hand as if to dismiss Garth.

“Then I’ll make sure to start with the useless garbs you keep buying.”

“Wait…” Faelyn said hesitantly, before raising a finger “You have convinced me. No rope, no gag.”

After Kairan’s first attempt at escape the three were far more cautious in dealing with him.

Al, after drinking a vial filled with red liquid, positioned himself in back left corner with his staff permanently aimed at Kairan. Faelyn made sure he was never in a position where he could be kicked out the cart again, while Garth returned to his seat in the front.

Upon returning and discovering the struggle that took place, Maria was quick to scold the trio for allowing Kairan to escape in the first place.

However, once finished she reverted to an almost motherly role, and began fawning over Al, making sure he was alright, much to the boy’s displeasure. Once certain and happy with Al’s condition, she turned to the other two. Both were quick to wave away her concerns, knowing their injuries were incomparable to Al’s.

Cali, however, took immense pleasure in knowing Faelyn had been knocked on his arse and made sure to remind him of it every time they fell into an argument.

The horses trudged on without pause. By the time the sun was setting, Kairan could see the roofs of several buildings not too far away, another half-hour and he’d be in the middle of a densely populated town. It was a sign that he had to escape from his binds as quickly as possible. The current treatment was luxurious compared to what he expected was in store for him.

“So,” he began, no one stopped him from speaking this time, “I think there has been a misunderstanding between us.” Kairan looked over the adventurers, gauging them. He hadn’t been threatened to shut up just yet.

“My name is Kairan, and until just two days ago I was human.” Cali seemed to grow tired of his words and began reaching for her crossbow. Kairan quickened, “I scarcely remember the events, but I implore you to believe me, I am no monster. Certainly not-”

“Enough!” Calli ordered, training her sights on him.

“You spin an interesting tale, Myconid. One more far-fetched than Faelyn’s,” said Maria. Faelyn showed offence to her words but voiced nothing.

“It’s lying,” Al spouted, “I see no transformation spell.”

“You’re welcome to plead your case all you want myconid,” Maria continued, “You seem intelligent enough to hold an argument, so perhaps the guild will hold a trial, though I doubt they’ll offer you any credence,” she finished, without even bothering to look back at him.

Kairan fell silent. For a moment, he felt cold and distant, the cacophonous rumble of two hearts beating muffled his ears. His jaw clenched shut – teeth grinding under the pressure. I won’t die here.