Lost Children

Chapter 20: Lost Children

After reaching the coast, the three decided to stay at the coastal town for a few days. Aez suggested that; he told Nia that though Mersoy had speedy recovery due to her fiend blood, and as her amulet boosted it as well, still because of everything that had happened recently, Mersoy would need a moment to recover. Though Mersoy was against it, Aez and Nia didn’t listen, and so she had to agree. This made Nia happy.

At least, she’s taking care of herself now.

She’s always hard on herself. To lose the things you believe in - it’s a cruel thing. She has wounds that will never heal completely. But even a little improvement is good to see.

They had been staying at an old man’s house in the coastal town. There were two little rooms they could stay in, dusty and packed with old things. From the looks of it, no one had stayed there for years. And that was good; Tokreians would be less likely to search for them there.

Mersoy and Nia usually stayed inside for the whole day, as quietly as possible, while Aez had taken up a temporary job as a shop assistant in a clothing shop not too far away from the house. From what Aez told, the town wasn’t aware of the events on the other side of the sea - apart from the undead invasion that had stopped a few months ago.

The town, though small, was packed with people. Nia felt happy to see the regular hustle and bustle in the streets; she hadn’t seen such a scene for the last two years. The little kids went to the only school in the town, and the people hurried to their jobs. Nia could watch them all through the windows of her room. Aez too, would say ‘see you soon’ and go out; soon the curly haired boy would be indistinguishable in the sea of faces.

Nia wanted to work too, but Aez gave her a sharp ‘no’.

“The pay is good,” he said, “you could sit back for some day. Besides, I haven’t seen many people who have that hair as you, and the girls here are taller. If they arrive they are gonna identify you. I can’t let you be in danger.”

That was true.

So, the usual schedule was simple; they’d get up early and have a cup of tea together. Aez would leave around nine, and from then the rest of the day, Mersoy would sit at a corner mostly, sometimes sleeping and sometimes lost deep in thought. Nia wouldn’t dare to ask her what she was thinking.

The old man, the owner, stayed upstairs. At times, Aez met him and helped him out, if he needed anything. Nia talked with him a lot though. He reminded her of her own grandmother. The man was an evident reader, as suggested by the huge collection in his house. Sometimes, Nia would take them and flip through the pages, though not understanding a word of them. The pictures were pretty. Most of them were collections on poetry, the man said.

Nia felt that it was almost as if living with her grandmother again. It had been two years since she had passed away, but she still missed her sometimes. Talking with the old man made her feel peaceful.

On the third day of their stay there, the old man allowed her to take a look at a hidden collection of his books.

“These are rare,” he said in his raspy old voice, “Could be the first or second or the only editions of the books.”

Nia scrutinised them, and raised an eyebrow. “I can see these are in… old Cridelfordian.”

“Crilanian, you mean,” the man corrected. “You see, we were from Crilania actually. My son was the only one remaining in my family - my wife died from a disease. He was a soldier back then. He was brave and strong, but… not enough to survive the last one.

With a pause, he continued, “I was interested in knowing about the wars. But there were no newspapers back then. Only the books were there, and they were written every few months.”

“These books are from that time?” Nia was surprised, taking a book in her hand, “The oldest major war happened back then in, I think, 1942?”

“That was when Pensylan, the neighbouring country of Estoyca seized it. Yes, you can say it was the beginning of the wars. Though, it wasn’t a war. It was a slaughter, a destruction. It must have been a horrible experience for Estoycans,” he said, his face grim, “But it was their fault in sending so many spies quickly to Pensylan.”

“And the following year, Cridelford seized Pensylan,” Nia said, turning to the page with the index. “Wait, this writing is different from the one in the pages.”

“The book you are holding right now,” the man said, “it is a collection of three books. I sealed them all together - the three phased wars were in different books. I completed the timeline.” he laughed a bit, “It’s just a weird hobby of mine to piece up things. Back then too, I used to be a sewer. I repaired clothes to books to ship sails.”

“I see,” Nia nodded her head, and started reading the index.

“And the third one, the last war,” her voice trembled a bit, “That was in 1951. It didn’t last long, but… but it was enough to take many lives. Crilania ended, Cridelford was born. And Nevidilandi, too,” she trailed off.

He doesn’t know why Nevidilandi ended, though. Hope he doesn’t ask me that.

“Yes, the third war,” his face was still. “He died there.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Nia said. She wanted to say that her parents too died in the third war, and Aez’s parents died in Nevidilandi before the second war even began. But she couldn’t say anything - they all knew telling anyone anything about them could bring huge risk to their lives.

“It’s all right, really.” the man said, his voice was calm, “he gave away his life as a brave soldier. Though he was forcibly recruited, he came to love being a soldier. He said he didn’t regret it at all.”

Like… Nia gulped, like him.

She still remembered that voice.

“I’d not want to admit it, because Aez might think I don’t care about him, which isn’t the case - but I like being here. If Aez is really okay about it all, I could safely say, I don’t regret it.

Aaron. He never regretted being there too. Her eyes burnt. Aez would still stay awake at night, speaking a few things about him everyday.

“There’s a peaceful thing about starting to love your job even though you were forced into it,” the old man continued, “and I respect what he thought too. He knew that a third war would happen sometime soon, and so he dropped me here. Away from our homeland. But we both knew - it was for the best.”

“Have you been to Cridelford after the third war?”

“Yes, when it ended,” the man said, “I had to go see if anything of him remained. But that was it. I wouldn’t go there anymore. It was enough. I’m living out the rest of my days here. Every day, I see that young boy go to his school. He waves to me. He reminds me of him, though they are different…

He smiled weakly, “But in my mind, he lives on.”

As long as we remember him.

Aez said the same too.

“My brother was the kindest person I knew. He was always there. It had been hard for him too. But I’ll carry on for his sake. I’ll not… I’ll not let his death be in vain.”

And I wouldn’t either. She had told herself many times. I’ll not let anyone’s death be in vain. Granny, Leo, Aaron. And Aez’s shattered dream.

I’ll remember them all, and go on. That’s the least I can do.

“You can take these books if you want,” the old man said, waving his hand, “You are a sweet girl, and you are one of the rarest people here who cares about history. I like that.”

Nia smiled, uttering a “thank you” before leaving his room.

“You already know everything about history,” Mersoy commented as she entered their room.

Am I imagining things? Nia wondered, something seems… off about her.

There was an unease written on her otherwise emotionless face.

“But those were written by Dottonex,” Nia said, “They wouldn’t know everything about the wars. Like, there are barely any details about the ambush. We didn’t know you were the assassin who ambushed Nevidilandi. I only knew your name because our book mentioned that Estoyca had an assassin-spy group and Mersoy, Braazer, and there was another name I’ve forgotten - they were some skilled ones.”

“Taan,” Mersoy replied. Sighing, she continued, “But is there any point in knowing it all?”

“Why is it bothering you so much?” Nia asked, surprised, “I wouldn’t judge you even if I find you murdered hundred people in cold blood,” she chuckled nervously, seeing Mersoy’s expression didn’t change, “I mean, things were different back then. And you aren’t a bad person at heart, after all. You genuinely want to help everyone.”

“I don’t care about everyone,” Mersoy sighed. “I’m only doing it all - because I have to do something. I’ve failed many people.

“ I can’t correct my mistakes. But I think, discovering the truth… it’ll make me feel a bit okay. I can’t rest until I know I couldn’t really change anything back then.”

Nia remained silent a bit.

“And what if you find that there really was something you could do about it?”

Mersoy didn’t reply.

“Mersoy,” Nia sighed, “Look, I don’t mean to undermine you. But, please, stop being so hard on yourself.”

Mersoy looked away. And after a few moments, she got up, walking to the other room, muttering, “You don’t understand anything at all,” before shutting the door.

Nia sighed. She didn’t know how to help her. But if there was anything - she’d do it.

Mersoy had been nice to them. She deserved something.

She sighed. There was already enough burden for them too. But if they all opened up to each other, things could be a bit better to handle, wouldn’t it be?

Nia looked outside. The sky had darkened. Clouds had settled in. It’d rain soon.

***

When Aez came inside, it was quiet as usual. He closed the door. He bought bread and curry. Today’s earnings weren’t good enough, after buying food only a little bit of it remained. The old man wasn’t in the drawing room today, maybe he wanted to rest today.

It had started raining, and anyone could do with some rest on such a day. Fortunately enough, when the shop closed, rain had stopped, though it began again after a few minutes of coming back.

He looked surprised that the other room was locked. It was Aez’s room, Nia and Mersoy were staying in the same room.

He peeked in the other room and saw Nia sitting quietly at a chair. A book lay open in front of her on the table.

“Did she have a mood swing or something?” he asked Nia, “Mersoy locked the other room.”

Nia sighed.

“Sit down,” she said quietly, “we have to talk about something.”

“That’s not like you,” Aez shrugged and came inside, dragging another chair and sitting down, “I don’t remember the last time you talked quietly with me.”

“No, we need to talk, really,” Nia said, turning her chair towards him, “It’s about Mersoy.”

“What happened again?”

“You see,” Nia took the book and flipped the pages. Aez noticed the other small book on the table. It was a dictionary, Crilanian to Cridelfordian. Both books looked very old, the pages had turned yellowish.

“Are those…” Aez started.

“They belong to the old man,” Nia answered, “Fortunately, he owns a dictionary. It wasn’t too hard to read it afterwards - took me only six hours to complete that section I was looking for.”

“And what section is it?” Aez said, “You said you had to say something about Mersoy. I think we should…”

“Ah, here it is,” Nia said, stopping at one page, reading the heading of an article.

“You see,” Nia said, “I was trying to know more about how the third war started. Apparently, Pensylan’s minister joined Crilania during the second war, and eventually, he became Crilanian minister. Both Crilanian and Nevidilandi’s minister were discussing something - and on that day, Mersoy assassinated the Crilanian minister.”

“Revenge,” noted Aez.

“What’s important is that,” Nia stated, “she wasn’t the only assassin - or spy - whatever you say, present back then. There were two other spies hiding. Mersoy escaped after the murder; but those two spies were caught and killed.

“Now, they assumed that the Nevidilanian minister killed the Crilianian one - because - the spies carried recorders, and the voice of one minister threatening the other one was recorded there.”

“Two powerful nations… can’t exist peacefully… at least here,” Aez said.

Nia took a long pause, and then closed the book.

“Aez. The book says that the whereabouts of those spies were unknown. But they had recorders. Dottonexan recorders. How could anyone else have that - because we discovered the recorder.

“Besides, they both had… ash blonde hair. Like mine.”

Aez stared at her. “Do you,” he started quietly, “blame Mersoy for this?”

He was nervous. What if Nia does that? I can understand Nia’s pain… she wasn’t able to take things easily.

‘Smack.’

“Ouch! What was that for, Nia?” He rubbed his shoulder.

“You still don’t understand me!” Nia said, she covered her face with her hand, “Aez. Do I seem like the person who’ll blame her now - after everything?”

Thank goodness, Aez thought.

“In these things,” Nia was saying, “You can’t really have any control over anything. It’s not a face-to-face battle. And things don’t go our way. We went inside Dottonex HQ; do you think I won’t understand this little fact?

“But Mersoy doesn’t know that,” she shrugged, “I said I was gonna read this book, she took a look at this - dunno if she knows Crilanian as well - but after that, she shut herself in the room, refused to come out though I called her multiple times. Maybe if you speak to her, she’ll listen.”

Aez smiled. “Well, Aez the hero to the rescue then.”

“Oi, don’t get ahead of yourself,” there was another smack, “You’re still a nerdo.”

“Well, I fight better than you,” Aez laughed, and stood up; Nia stood up too.

“About that,” Nia said slowly, “Thank you Aez, for saving my life back then.”

Aez smirked and walked close to Nia, “I see, I see.”

Their faces were close.

Nia was very... pretty.

The ash blonde disheveled hair on her face, the pretty brown eyes and the soft skin. Pretty.

A few moments passed, both freezed in the same position.

Aez wondered what he was doing, but he enjoyed seeing her reddened face. Moments passed, until - there was another smack.

“Nia…”

“You moron,” Nia blurted out, “Geez, Aez, is it really the time? ‘I see, I see’? Pfft.” she sighed, “You… are still a nerdo. Not that I’m complaining,” she winked, “But… I wish…”

She sighed. “Let’s go.”

She wishes what? Aez thought. Oh well. I’ll ask her some other time.

They both walked to the other room and knocked.

“Mersoy, open the door,” Aez knocked.

“I won’t,” Mersoy replied grimly. “Tomorrow, I’ll be leaving. You can go…”

“Stop this nonsense, Mersoy,” he sighed, “It’d be better if we talked. Come on now.”

There were footsteps behind, and Aez looked back. The old man had come downstairs, a curious look on his face.

Oh no.

Aez and Nia looked at each other hesitantly.

But the old man didn’t ask anything, and simply walked to Mersoy’s door. “Little girl,” he said in a calm voice, “even your grandpa is telling you. Talk things out. Maybe, I can help too.”

“You don’t understand,” Mersoy said, “To live with such things… I wanted to keep this away from you. But you still… had to bring this up… I’m so tired of failing everyone.”

“You’ll fail us if you leave us now,” Nia said, not caring about the old man anymore, “They’ll come. They’ll take us, and maybe kill us. It’ll be okay with you, right?”

There was a pause. And then the door opened.

The older girl was inside, except she looked completely different from the calm, composed and unemotive Mersoy they knew. Her face was red, and the eyes were puffy from crying.

She said in her hoarse voice, “It’s my fault… if I didn’t take action because of my emotions… because of my need for revenge, your parents… they wouldn’t die.

“The last people I wanted to hurt… are you two...” she said, “How am I supposed to go on knowing they were…”

“That’s enough.” Nia said, interrupting her.

And she walked to her and put her hands around the older girl, embracing her. Mersoy was taken aback. She stared in shock, and then started crying.

“Mersoy,” Nia whispered, “whatever happened in the past - we can’t do anything about that now, can we? Why... why are you still thinking about that then?”

“Yes, I know you’re sorry and all, but it’s okay,” Nia smiled, “You’ve been through a lot, Mersoy. I won’t let you feel that pain. Because you are like the older sister I didn’t have.”

The old man chuckled. Aez looked at him.

Well. What will Nia tell him now? He wondered.

“I guess I should go then,” the old man said.

“Um,” Aez said, sweating, “Sorry, grandpa - I wish you didn’t have to-”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he answered as Aez stared at him fearfully, “No, I don’t really understand what you three are talking about. And nor do I care. It’s been so long. As long as you are not here to massacre any city, I’ll not report you.”

“Of course we aren’t,” Aez smiled pitifully, “Grandpa, do we seem like we are a bunch of kids out to murder everyone?” he laughed at his own words.

“No. In fact, you three seem like lost children.”

Aez stared at him again.

His face was full of sorrow. “Misled. Lost.

“I don’t want to ask you what your story is,” he looked at Mersoy once, who was standing at a side, Nia smacking her playfully (Gosh, Nia, your smacks hurt, Aez thought). Tears were still streaming down from Mersoy’s eyes, though she was smiling weakly now.

“You three remind me of my son. And I would hate to see tears on your faces.”

His words, his way of speaking reminded Aez of Nia’s grandmother. Pain tugged at his heart, and he felt misty-eyed.

Too many. Too many were gone from their lives.

They didn’t know what to do. Yes, indeed, they were lost, somehow.

“I’m sure your parents were great people,” Mersoy said to Nia, “They didn’t deserve to die.”

“So was my son,” the old man commented. His eyes were closed, maybe he was trying to remember his face. “A gallant young boy. He was a very, very good boy who deserved more.

“Yes, the war is cruel,” he said, now opening his eyes and looking at them, “And terrible things have happened. All we can do is walk past them.

“And if you have to blame - blame the war itself.”

“And the ones who provoked the wars in the first place,” Mersoy whispered. “I won’t forgive them - those Tokreians…”

“I think we are done here, aren’t we?” The old man spoke, getting on his feet, “I’ll be upstairs. You should eat your dinner and take a rest too. It has been a long day. Good night.”

***

The sunlight was coming in through the windows. Nia opened her eyes, squinting at the light. Mersoy and Aez were already awake, and their voices were coming from the hall. After refreshing herself, she joined them too.

“I’m saying, I’m all right,” Mersoy said, drinking tea slowly. “We can start going.”

“Just five days,” Aez tilted his head, “You recovered from a bullet injury in just five days. Just what exactly is in the blood of the fiends?”

“Isn’t it unfortunate,” Mersoy said solemnly, “you won’t be able to know that at all.”

“When this is all over, we could go back to Dottonex, right?” Aez said, smiling a bit, “I could take a bit of your blood and maybe-”

“I can’t guarantee the safety of your life if I even see you attempting to do that.”

Aez laughed apologetically. Then his eyes turned to Nia. He stared at him, until Nia rolled her sleeve and showed her the fist. He looked away, smiling.

How nice, Aez. It took you this long to notice I’m cute.

“Well, at least, he noticed,” the voice - Nes - said.

He’d have done that earlier if you didn’t make me join the army. Hmph. We could have been dating now.

“I doubt that,” Nes said.

Nia went to the kitchen, poured herself some tea and walked back to them. She sat on a chair beside Mersoy. She looked at her, but Mersoy didn’t look back, she was staring at her empty teacup, apparently lost in thoughts.

“Mersoy, is your leg-” Nia started nervously.

Damn. Who knows what she’s thinking again?

“She said it’s healed,” Aez answered, “In five days. Where do I get such abilities?”

“Go die and hope you’ll be a fiend next life,” Nia said.

Aez laughed, and Nia felt happy, seeing that a smile had cracked across Mersoy’s face too.