Second Trial

“There are two bumbling fools for brothers named Fiddle Dee-Dee and Fiddle Dee-Dumb,” he paused as he met her harsh gaze, “Yes, I named them as such.” He looked back towards them sawing away at another tree trunk in the distance. “They cannot sit still no matter what, and I banished them to this forest, where they are as far from my ears and eyes as possible. As you see, they work incessantly to spend that boundless, tiresome energy cutting down this forest.” Cheshire paused again, feeling the need to explain further why this task was never-ending. “You see, this forest resets every time Alise dreams, so all the trees are always as they were before they cut away.” He smirked at Lilith’s judgmental glare. “Your trial is this: get them to stop cutting the trees before they cut down three-quarters of this forest. If after thirty minutes a quarter of the forest still stands, a new door will appear before you.” As he spoke, a timer appeared in the sky.

Lilith quickly gauged by sight alone how much of the forest remained, and her brow knotted as she sighed frustratedly. “Half of the forest has already been cut down.”

Cheshire’s smile grew wide. “Hmmmyes, you have quite the task ahead of you.”

“And what are the secret rules of this trial? Are there traps?” She asked half-heartedly, not expecting him to be truthful.

Cheshire’s smile widened even more. “No, but this is where I leave you.”

Lilith was a bit surprised. “What do you mean? Where are you going?” She suspected his every move.

“Oh,” he brought his hand to his chest, “miss me already?” Cheshire laughed at the grimace plastered on Lilith’s face. “I fear the trials ahead will bore me, at least until I can entertain you in the castle. To prepare for your arrival I will plan the most exquisite ball. It will be the grandest victory celebration, for one of us will be victorious before this night is done.” His eye spun excitedly as his voice deepened, teasing her. “Tik-tik-tok.”

Lilith shuddered at the thought of losing and being forced to stay trapped with him for the rest of her life. Before he could depart, Lilith set her gaze on the two brothers in the distance as they felled another tree, and she sprinted down the hill to start her trial. I have to stop them at any cost. I can’t lose. I refuse to be trapped here. Lilith steeled her mind as her dash slowed to a jog, and then to a trot as she approached the two would-be lumberjacks. The brothers looked like bear toys made from metal, very durable, but not structurally sound. Their bodies seemed small compared to their oversized heads. They were also very different; one was extremely short, even shorter than Lilith, and the other was triple Lilith’s height. They sawed to the beat of a silly little rhyme they sang as they worked, as if it kept them synchronized.

“Sawing, sawing, sawing, keep that saw a-sawing. I saw right, you saw left, together we saw quite deft. Sawing, sawing, sawing, keep that saw a-sawing.”

Losing no time, she quickly tried to introduce herself over the racket of their shanty, hoping she could at least get their attention. “Excuse me, hello?” Her voice was barely audible over the sound of the Fiddles’ singing. “Hello, my name is Lilith…,” she tried tapping on one of their arms, but they were sawing so violently that she feared she might lose something. They hadn’t even looked in her direction, even when she waved at them from the side. “Could you please stop for a moment?” Her words fell on deaf ears, and she let out a long, frustrated sigh. If I could interrupt their song somehow…She thought as she listened to them repeat the same words over and over again. It was very easy to memorize the song, even though she hadn’t wanted to.

With no grand plan in mind, she began singing along with them. Her voice was much higher and prettier than theirs, and once they realized there was something added to their song, they came to a screeching halt. She had finally grasped their attention.

“Hows are you?!?!” the tall brother yelled aggressively as he towered over her.

“You mean WHO, who are you, Dee-Dee, yah dum-dum,” the shorter brother corrected.

Dee-Dee shyly turned to Dee-Dumb, “That’s what I said, Dumb!” Dee turned back to Lilith and roared, “So….whos are you?”

Lilith loudly gulped, but put on a brave face, “I, my name is Lilith and I…was wondering why you are cutting down such fine trees?”

Dee looked towards Dumb, then back to Lilith, “What’s it to you?”

Dumb called for Dee, “Oi, stop playing with the dolly broad an come help me with this, chop chop.”

Somewhat ruffled at the slight, Lilith’s face reddened, but she maintained a calm demeanor. “Excuse me, sir,” she addressed Dee-Dumb, who was standing a length behind Dee-Dee, with saw-in-hand. “Perhaps you can enlighten me why you are cutting these trees?”

“Nothing better to do, sweet-face, so why don’t yah stand off to the side and let us get back to it, yea?”

Lilith’s brow rose. “Nothing better to do? Is that really the reason?”

Dee-Dee didn’t like being ignored, and he pushed Lilith to get her attention. He hadn’t meant to, but he was just so strong that she hit the ground harshly . Dee-Dumb ran from behind Dee and smacked him as he passed. “Yah big blockhead, what did I say?!” He rushed to help Lilith off the ground. She was only minorly scuffed and brushed the dirt from her dress. Dumb turned to Dee, “What did I say??”

Dee bashfully swayed from side to side. “Don’t touch ladies.”

“Sorry, Doll, he doesn’t know his own strength. It’s been a long time since we’ve had the pleasure of another’s company, especially a broad, so please excuse his lack of, uh, decorum.”

“Um,” Lilith felt irritated. She was against the use of physical violence, but she realized she might use this to her advantage. “It’s fine. I realize I might have come across as aggressive myself.” She then cupped the elbow that had broken her fall. “Oh, ouch, it hurts…” she whimpered. While she had hurt it, it was nowhere near in as much pain as she let on.

“You dolt, yah broke her!” Dumb smacked his hat against Dee’s arm.

“Sorry, Dumb, I just…tapped her.”

“No, yah pushed her, don’t make less of what yah done, Dee.”

“Sorry, Dumb.”

“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to her.”

Dee-Dee sat down on the ground in front of Lilith. He still towered over her, but not as much. “Sorry, little doll lady.”

“Lilith, my name is Lilith.” She glanced at the timer in the sky; only minutes had passed—she needed to keep them occupied longer. “I forgive you. But…now, perhaps you might share why you are cutting down the forest?”

Dee-Dee had already lost interest after Lilith accepted his apology and picked up the saw to continue, but Dee-Dumb sat with Lilith for a little chat. “Dee’s mind is like a squirrel’s; not much can keep his attention. But he loves watching the trees come down. Guess it’s better this than something that could get him in trouble.”

Lilith listened to Dumb, but her eyes watched Dee as he was sawing away at a trunk. Fortunately, he wasn’t as efficient without his brother, but his brute strength alone would make up for accuracy. “I see,” Lilith responded. “What were you two doing before you cut trees?”

Dee-Dumb let out a huge, long sigh. Apparently, her question went much deeper than she realized. “Truthfully, the longer yer in Dreamland, the more yah forget. We don’t remember much of what was before…I remember being banished here ‘cause of that dolt.” His words were harsh, but his tone grew soft. “He’s got a mutton head, gets into a lot of trouble, and to make matters worse he don’t know his own strength. So, he breaks things. Lots of things. Doesn’t learn much either. So this is our life.”

Although she could not speak at length to the participants of the cooking trial, she could sense a collective pain. Now that she sat and spoke with one, she understood that there must be many sorrows in Dreamland. Her brow furrowed; there was nothing she could even do for them.

Dee continued, “Actually, we had a brother.” His face was very serious as he concentrated extremely hard. “We forget things here, but I still remember him.” He tapped his finger on his head. “He was big like Dee, smart too, smarter than me. I think…I think he stood up to the Queen of Hearts.” He fell silent. “Never saw him again after that .” Dumb looked at Dee, who was struggling to successfully cut the tree by himself. “Dee forgot he even exists. Doesn’t ask about him anymore. But me, I gotta remember, I force myself to. It’s the one thing I refuse to forget. Like, like my form of rebellion.”

Lilith’s brow knotted. How could this get any more tragic? Without giving it much thought, she asked Dumb, “What was his name?”

Dumb smiled softly, “His name was, uh. His name…was.” His expression grew sadder by the second. “I…don’t remember.” He scoffed, “I can’t even remember our real names. Ain’t Dee or Dumb, that’s for sure, but I guess we are now.”

Lilith and Dumb sat in silence for a moment. She had resolved to escape, but now she felt convicted to do something for Dumb. “I’m going to escape Dreamland, and when I do I will remember you as the brothers three.” She looked him straight in the eyes; he could sense her fiery determination. It filled him with a hope he hadn’t had in a long time. “I’ll remember for you.”

Dumb smiled, an expression he had long forgotten. “Thanks, Do, I mean, Lilith.”

She smiled in return and looked back towards Dee; he had gotten the hang of sawing alone and the tree came down with a loud thwack. Dumb and Lilith covered their heads in case debris fell in their direction. Once the tree was down, Dee marched to the next one and Lilith checked the clock in the sky. Why is time so slow?? It’s only been ten minutes??

Dumb stood up, “It was nice chattin’ with you, but I should make sure he don’t hurt himself. An, good luck on getting outta here.”

“Wait,” Lilith had to stop both of them from continuing, if only for a little longer. “I’d like to do something for you two, or maybe give you something to remember me by? Though I have nothing to give…” She was already planning on whittling something for Dee since there was plenty of wood. “Do you have a knife I might use to carve something from this wood? Perhaps Dee would like to learn the art of whittling?”

Dumb shook his head. “It’s nice of yah, but don’t bother. He’ll break it in a minute. The only thing Dee likes is stories, can’t get enough of ‘em. But I ain’t much of a storyteller myself.”

Her attention completely re-focused. “Stories? I know stories.”

Dee wheeled around after hearing her statement, “Stories? Oooh!” He threw down the saw and ran back to where they were, plopping himself down beside Dumb. “I like sad stories.”

“Sad stories, really? You don’t want to hear tales of adventure and happy endings?”

Dee shook his head. “Nope, I like the sad ones; they make me remember.”

Lilith looked at Dumb, who shrugged his shoulders. Neither knew what he meant. Lilith’s mind whirled, thinking of all the stories she had read, but they had happy endings. As she thought, she could sense Dee’s growing impatience. It was then she remembered a bittersweet poem she had read a long time ago. It had made such an impact on her she remembered every word. Lilith took a deep breath in and slowly let it out as she stood, closed her eyes, and adopted a very melancholy tone.

“I loved once, I think.

There was a time when I was young and innocent, full of hope and dreams. It was then the Abyss found me—she heard my heart’s secret call. Wrapped in her shadowy cloak, I fell deeper and deeper into darkness until I felt nothing. She caressed me, comforted me, and sang beautiful, haunting lullabies until they penetrated my soul.

I wept years of tears in a single drop. Promising the pain would go away, she asked for my heart and I, crushed by the anguish it stored, gave it to her.

Very carefully she placed it into a small box. The Abyss locked it up and gave me the key, warning me to never open it. Then she was gone and I was left with a key, a box, and a heart shaped hole in my chest.

I loved once, I think.

Seasons came and went, my body grew older but my heart remained the same; locked in a box. The Abyss visited every now and then and with each encounter she consoled me—reassuring that it was for my protection.

No harm could befall me if my heart was hidden, so she smiled a smile void of happiness and disappeared into the shadows.

I loved once, I think.

The path I chose tormented me; my heart’s whispers grew louder with each passing year. I could taste its ache. It called to me from within its prison. Its voice was faint, but it haunted me. I could hear it when no one was around. I should have buried it, but something stopped me.

Was it my heart?

The pain I sought escape from never left, instead it was covered in a shroud of darkness, left to take a new form. And the creature it birthed fed on everything positivite and good.

I loved once, right?

If feeling nothing was the price for my heart, was it worth it?

Have I ever loved?

Wearied, I took the key and looked inside the box. My heart sat blackened, malnourished, and covered in thorns. I tried to touch it, but it warded me off by drawing blood. Even I could tell it was long since dead. My last remaining sadness, my last ounce of remorse welled up inside of me—but only the shadows of tears remained. I carefully closed the box.

I loved once…I think.

The Abyss appeared and said I should have listened and kept the box closed. I fell to my knees, broken, powerless, and drained. She held me in her dark arms, whispering woeful songs into the air.

I loved once...

She told me to forget, and I found myself nodding in consent, even though I tired of a heartless existence.

The Abyss let me go and I stood and faced her with my box to my heart shaped hole. I told her that she could leave, that this was not what I wanted, not truly. We stared at one another, silent and still. The Abyss slightly nodded and turned to leave, but before she could go I asked her how she became the way she was. The Abyss gazed at me with empty eyes and a sad smile. She said softly that she threw her box away. That was the last time I saw the Abyss.

More seasons will come and pass; my body will grow older, but one thing will remain unchanged. I will carry my key and box until the day I die.

I loved once, I hope.”

Lilith opened her eyes to witness both Dee and Dumb with tears in their eyes. She began feeling terrible about reciting that poem, but Dee wanted a sad story. She stood in silence as Dee began to wail and cry out loud, and it was then Dumb stood and began consoling his childlike sibling.

“It’s okay, Dee, it’s okay,” Dumb said as he hugged his oversized brother. Dee cried harder and harder until his tears ran dry. Lilith stood by and watched uncomfortably as this scene unfolded; as the catalyst for this result, she resolved to bear witness till the end. Dee’s moans finally subsided and after a lot of sniffling, he began mumbling something.

“Wha, what are you saying, Dee?” Dumb tried to comprehend what Dee was uttering.

Finally Dee roared, “I miss big brother!”

“Hey, I’m here, Dee,” Dumb protested.

“Not you, Dumb. Big brother was always nice to me; he didn’t talk mean to me! He played with me and told me stories. You don’t tell me anything but how d-dumb I am. But he protected me when you didn’t, and that’s why he’s gone. It’s my fault and you never even talk about him because you hate me for making him go away!” He began to cry again.

Dumb’s eyes grew wide, and he hung his head in shame. All this time he thought Dee remembered nothing, but Dee seemed to remember even more than he did. “I’m sorry, Dee.”

Dee’s crying stopped.

“I…I am sorry. Maybe I blamed you, maybe I said mean things to you. Truth is, I don’t…remember the past too good. I thought that maybe you also forgot many things.” They locked eyes. “I promise to treat you better, but sometimes you gotta remind me, ok?”

Dee nodded his head heartily, agreeing. The brothers hugged tightly, then they both looked at Lilith and opened their arms.

Lilith, realizing their intent, shook her head. “Oh, that’s okay. I’m not much of a hugg-,” it was too late, they had already scooped her into their embrace, “errrkay…..” she sighed outwardly.

Dumb sternly reminded Dee, “Gently, Dee, she’s a delicate lady. What don’t you do with ladies?”

Dee released his bear hug. “Use force.”

Dumb nodded, “Right, gentle-like.”

As Dee and Dumb conversed, Lilith glanced at the sky timer. She breathed an enormous sigh of relief; the timer had reached its end; she had succeeded. A door appeared towards the end of the barren forest, and quietly she snuck away. The brothers had much to talk about; perhaps Dee could tell Dumb the forgotten stories of their third sibling.

Before Lilith entered the door, she looked back one more time. Dee and Dumb were both smiling at one another, which brought a grin to her face as well.