Heartbreak and Despondency III

After Braun had left for his mission, Xax remained alone in the guest room they prepared for the boy.

Shards from the vase enveloped the floor, as did the blood from the punch the boy had received. Xax couldn’t shake his guilt, he had hit an innocent twelve-year-old boy, who had suffered more than anyone else in the span of a week.

He couldn’t help but lament his wrongdoing.

‘God, forgive me. Forgive me for my sinful deeds. Forgive me for my pathetic, impulsive, rash nature. Forgive me for using my strength, not to protect, but to harm. A young, disheartened child at that. I beg you, help him recover from this heartbreak and be healthy once more. Help him reach happiness, like he had before ever travelling here and setting foot in this cruel world, in which I am ashamedly a part of.’

As Xax was repenting for what he had done, his daughter, Anna, entered the room.

Her distressed look reflected her father’s.

The scarred boy, resting in the infirmary didn’t even know that the person that felt the most sympathetic towards him, maybe apart from Braun, was the girl he thought hated him most.

She waited until Xax was alone to talk to him, and sure enough there was nobody around to hear them. She could finally make her request.

“Father, can’t you… help him… somehow…” she demanded. “…please…”

Xax was glad to have such a caring daughter. To hear her ask for help for another person, especially the boy she was on bad terms with for the longest time…

‘It seems that his bitter story had completely changed her opinion of him,’ Xax thought.

“You’re a good kid, Anna…” he said softly, “Does his situation dismay you?”

“…he said not to leave him alone, didn’t he… does that mean he was an orphan, and now he even lost his grandpa…?” she asked sorrowfully.

“We’re not sure. I think we shouldn’t ask him about it in the foreseeable future, either… We don’t want him to have another panic attack,” he answered, “but it does seem that way for now…”

She began to regret how she treated him during the time he spent in the underground city.

The obnoxious, snotty, lying brat she thought she saw earlier, now turned into a fragile, wounded boy, who had seemingly lost everything…

…maybe even his will to live

“For now, we will definitely offer him a place to stay. If he insists, we can probably escort him back to the village, but that will be a most foolish decision,” said Xax.

“Because he is a criminal now?” Anna asked sympathetically.

“Yes. His best option will be to stay with us, and I will certainly extend that offer to him… Whether he accepts it or not, is going to be up to him…” said Xax.

“Surely he will accept! …will he not, father?” she asked nervously.

“We can not force him… but I promise I will do my best to persuade him.”

“Thank you… father…” said the girl, leaving the place just like Braun had.

Before too long, Xax had also retired back to his quarters. The room that housed the boy for a couple of hours, was vacant yet again.

…

I regained consciousness in the infirmary as soon as the next day after the incident, but I couldn’t stand up because of a deep pain in my chest.

I was told to remain in bed, so I curled up in the covers and attempted to heat up my permanently freezing body.

I hoped that their warmth could carry even the slightest of my grief away, but that never happened.

In a single day, everyone in Aireven knew who I was and what had happened to me. Some were opposed to having me stay, and some pitied me so much that my bounty didn’t scare them.

I, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about what everyone else thought.

My colorful life that had meaning because of grandpa, became monochrome.

The beauty I could see in everyday life, had turned into ugliness.

My curiosity to learn new things, extinguished.

I was now apathetic to everything around me.

I no longer cared for what was happening in this lonely world, to me or to anyone else.

Every night, I kept on having the same nightmare, over and over again.

Within it, I was holding grandpa’s motionless, beheaded corpse; my hands covered in dark red blood as if it was me who had performed the execution.

Any time I woke up from them, gasping for air and crying, my clothes were drenched in sweat.

It was an endless torture, a punishment for my sinful existence.

First my parents, and now grandpa.

As if my cursed life was poison to everything around me, my life ended theirs.

I no longer had any loved ones left.

I was alone in a world filled with strangers.

Maybe this was my fate all along.

To spend the rest of my life,

in eternal solitude.

So why is this man approaching me? Why is he pitying me?

“… stay here,” Xax said.

I had subconsciously blocked off everything else.

“Zenzo? What do you say?” he prompted.

“…what?” I asked.

“Would you like to stay here, in Aireven?”

Oh, that’s what he meant.

I had forgotten everything regarding my bounty and me being a criminal now. All my worries were directed at grandpa’s death, and I stopped thinking about the future.

What should I do now?

It felt like time stopped. Xax was waiting for a response, but I surprisingly had all the time in the world to answer. Except that I couldn’t think. My cognitive abilities had taken a toll from all of my accumulated stress.

“…stay,” I randomly mumbled without thinking.

“Understood. Continue resting… I will take care of everything else from here,” said Xax gently. But unbeknownst to him, I wasn’t taking in a single word.

He left the room, and I continued laying there, falling yet into another nightmare.

Thus began my second life in a city called Aireven. A city I would briefly consider my new home.