The Voices of Yuki Osaki

“So wait, I just…?”

“Yes. Like with the rest of the spells you’ve cast, it all comes down to intent. You wanted it to last for an infinite amount of time when you cast the spell.” Gabi pretended to snap a stick. “You have to break it by thinking of it in finite terms. Infinity only lasts as long as you want it to.”

“Infinity only lasts as long as you want it to, huh?” I hold my hands out in front of me and point them towards Lorani, who is squirming uncomfortably under our combined gazes. Ryoka holds his katana to his side, and Gabi has her hand on the hilt of her own blade. Shaking my head at their caution, I turn inward.

A strong focus on what I want, I think to myself. I don’t want infinity to last forever. It was long enough to work for me, and it needs to be short enough to continue to be useful. So, stop! I feel a resistance to my resonite as I push on the spell. I frown at the strange sensation, and throw my will behind it. I want you to end! I just need you to finish so you can be cast again later! Let me use your energy again! I feel a little more give, but it still feels like I’m trying to swim upwards against a raging current. I grimace as the spell starts to grow erratic, lashing out at me and Lorani.

“Hey, that hurts!” Lorani says. “What are you—“

“Fight it!” I say. “Help me break it!”

“You’re the one who cast it!” Lorani argues.

I growl and start to throw my weight into the spell, and I feel an invisible barrier push me back. “I know! I need help!”

“It really shouldn’t be this hard…” Gabi murmurs. “It’s almost like it’s power is scaling to match Emiko’s.”

“Maybe magic is selfish!” I cry, and I throw one last push and a thought as Lorani begins to shake and spread her form out. Break! I will dam you and use your energy! Let me shape you! Let me define you! Let me give you power!

Finally, something gives, and the cage breaks into a fine mist. Dropping to my knees, I take a moment to catch my breath. “Phew,” I sigh, “That was a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

It really was, hm? 

Gabi nods. “Dispelling spells usually is.” She shakes her head. “But it seems, as with everything we’ve seen so far, you are the exception, Yuki. I really shouldn’t be surprised, but even the impossible is becoming real.”

“Isn’t that just my life at this point?” I ask exasperatedly. “I mean, come on! We’ve encountered a chimera already, and now a dragon that can shapeshift into a girl that is willing to help us defeat the one problem that’s a danger to the realms!” I shake my hands wildly as I gesture to myself, Lorani, and all of us combined.

“I mean, yes, Yukin, it’s pretty crazy when you put it that way,” Reiko says, “But it also means we can do something to stop the problem with a little help! There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”

“You’re missing the point!” I yell. “None of this is normal! We’re throwing around magic like it’s nothing! I’m apparently strong enough to stop a bonafide dragon—!” I gesture wildly to Lorani again, who shrinks away from me, “—And you’re all getting ridiculously strong too!”

I think you underestimate the bond you have with your friends.

“Did we ever say this was normal?” Ryoka asks. “This is normal for me. Yes, this situation specifically is out of place, but it falls well within my jurisdiction as a member of RED.”

Eri rubs my shoulders as I shake with energy that doesn’t seem to want to leave. “Yuki, are you sure you’re okay?” She turns me around and stares me in the eyes. “Your resonite is brimming with energy. It’s almost like it wants to burst. What—“

Relax, Yuki! I’m using this connection to fix us!

“It must’ve been the dispelling,” Lorani says quietly, and we all turn to look at her, though I can see Gabi nodding at her words. “I could see your quarrel with the intent you placed behind your spell. Did you promise to use it’s power for something else?”

“Yes!”

Lorani flinches but nods. “Alright, then. There’s no need for anymore discussion! We know why you seem so edgy now, so let’s throw that portal open!” She closes her eyes and holds her own hands out as I feel magic begin to gather in her palms. It’s a feeling completely foreign to anything I’ve felt yet. I bounce on the balls of my feet with impatience as Lorani says, “Unlike these barbarous pikes, portals like this take time, and require a connection with the Orbs themselves. In this case, the Choral Orb. Anything within the vicinity on this side of the portal, I can access with these portals. It takes a little bit of puzzling but… there!”

I growl as I clench and unclench my hands. Lorani’s resonite pulses to the same beat as the blob of mana that’s starting to flatten into a three-dimensional disc. It continues to grow in size, and soon we’re all backing up as the circle increases to a size that might have fit the original form of Lorani.

“What’s taking so long?” I snap.

“Yukin!” Reiko cries. “Relax!”

“Why?” I ask loudly. What’s wrong with a little energy?

“Be careful, Osaki,” Ryoka says. “You’re starting to shine.”

“What does that mean?” Gabi grips her sword tighter as the the portal pulses faster and faster. My heart begins to race and I feel a strange clamminess come over me. “Is that bad?”

Gabi nods. “Your resonite is bleeding.”

I pale and my pounding heart and the energy I bounce to suddenly feels very hollow. “That doesn’t sound good.”

It isn’t, but I’m taking care of it!

“The portal’s almost open!” Eri exclaims, tugging my hand and pulling me forward. “You’re in a real bad state right now, Yuki. Lorani! Are you trying to kill Yuki? Get this thing open!”

“I’m trying!” Lorani yells. “Something’s wrong! There’s something interfering with the connection—“

Eri slams my hand onto Lorani’s shoulder and holds her own over both of our hands. “Brute force it! I’ll use some of the mana Yuki’s collecting to power through it. Here!”

I shriek as I feel a sharp pull from somewhere that isn’t my heart, and yet stings the same. A brilliant mist of gold erupts from beneath Eri’s hands, and Lorani shouts in pain as the portal rumbles and breaks into existence.

Immediately, the sound of chaos assaults our ears. Demons are shouting left and right as chimerae fly and rampage. A few chimera bodies litter the entrance of the breach, and Gabi pulls her blade out with a fiery flourish. Her blade is already licking with flames as she charges into the portal headfirst. “No!” Gabi cries, “We’re losing!” She leaps into the air with a charge that cracks the concrete of the room.

“Try using flames this time, Osaki!” Ryoka cries. He takes a stance and points his sword into the portal. “Think of Gabi!” He blurs into the portal and the smell of ozone flows over us.

Just think of the chaos of your life! Fan the embers!

Reiko sighs loudly and wipes her forehead. “Phew! This’ll be tough!” She turns to me and smiles. “I have to help them, though I might not do much. Don’t die, okay?” She runs into the portal, her blade already taking on a bluish tint, though not anywhere near as quick as what Gabi and Ryoka can pull off.

“Eri, you won’t be able to—!” I begin, but Lorani stumbles into me.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect her!” Lorani says. “It’s my duty as a guardragon. I have to help fix the breaches!”

They start rushing through the portal, and I wince as a demon screams past the portal and lands in a groaning heap to the side. I start shaking and stumble through the portal and fall to the ground on my hands and knees. I clutch my chest and marvel in pain as my hand glows the same strange gold that had burst from feeding Lorani some of my magic.

“W-what—?”

Think hard and use the fire within you, Yuki, a voice said. Burst forth with flames of majestic scale!

“Flames… of majestic scale!” I punch the ground and barely notice as my fist begins to lick with fire. I push myself into a seiza and clench my hands as I close my eyes and tilt my head to the skies. “Be as spontaneous and destructive as a fire in a forest! Burn my enemies! Heal my friends! PHOENIX FIRE!”

Good, Yuki! That’s another multipurpose cast! Now step back and watch as you take your victory!

I feel a rush of warmth burst from me, and I sigh as the feeling of imminent sickness and delirium disappear. Opening my eyes, I widen them as I realize what’s happening to me. I stumble to my feet as I stare at my hands, my arms, and my whole body, which is pulsing with large swathes of fire.

“What the, when did I—?” I felt a huge pain lance through my head as I realize the voice that had spoken in my head.

Keep moving, Yuki! You cannot stop here! Heal the others!

“What the hell?!” I cry, and yet it seems like my body is moving on it’s own. I watch a chimera try to approach me only to screech and wither as it approached. It still roars in pain in anger with what’s left of it before some rejuvenated demons stick it with blades.

“What the… who are you!?” I cry, grabbing my head tightly.

I used some of your reabsorbed mana to give myself a presence, the voice explained. I am you. Your past, your present, and your help to fix the future!

A chill runs down my spine despite the overwhelming warmth that persists to wave away from me. “You don’t mean—“

Yes! the voice yells, I’m Ayumi! But we don’t have time! Eri’s close to sealing the gate, but the Choral Nexus is in danger!

“W-what—“

Now! Use your wind to cut the rest down!

Before I can react, I feel my lips moving and my arms stretching outward in a motion that feels familiar but is all too foreign. Break the world with the winds of change, stronger than a rushing river, and faster than a catching flame! I find myself thinking, and I shout, “Whirlwind Ultimate Break!” The flames putter out as a buzzing hurricane instantly materializes around me. I squint as the winds spin faster and faster until I almost can’t see past the turbulence that surrounds me, and then it bursts into hundreds of slivers of concentrated spinning air. My eyes flit between the many monsters that are still pestering the demons, and I scream as I push outward, and the blades of wind break into countless trajectories.

I stumble once more to the ground as I gasp for air, and watch every single monster stumble, and several red gashes burst into being all across their bodies. A different pain fills my chest as I heave from the effort both spells took to cast. As I do so, I cast my eyes upward and catch Gabi’s, who now stares with complete and utter shock. I cough and shiver.

I’m sorry for urging you so strongly, Yuki, but you don’t know how close we were to losing some of our people—

“No!” I yell hoarsely. “Stop!”

I hear Lorani’s voice ring faintly across the battlefield. “What happened?” She asks in her dragon form. “The chimera I was fighting just dropped after a rush of wind! I haven’t seen magic like this since—!”

“That was impressive, Yukin!” Reiko says.

Ryoka lands beside me, and helps me to my feet. “That was crazy, Osaki. What did you do?”

“I—ah!” I convulse as another pain shocks through my head.

It’s just me, Ayumi cries in my head. It’s just us! I am doing my best to ease it, but the memories of our past life—

“I don’t want it!” I yell. “I don’t care!”

“Who are you talking to, Yukin?” Reiko asks me worryingly. “Don’t tell me you’re hearing voices?”

“The Choral Nexus is in danger!” I cry forcefully, and I choke as I shake once more. That wasn’t just me yelling. I clutch my head and scream. My brain is frying, and I can almost feel it rearranging itself as new memories that are as familiar to me as yesterday and yet as distant as the ancient past resurface. “A-ah, I need… I need space…”

“What’s going on?!” Reiko cries, pulling me from Ryoka’s grasp. “Ryoka!? Tell me what’s happening to her!”

“I don’t know!” Ryoka exclaims. “She’s spouting nonsense! There’s a seal around the Choral Nexus. There’s no way it’s breaking now!”

We all startle as Gabi lands in a flurry of fire and I continue to try and sort the information that’s flying through my head. “Yuki!”

“Gabi!” I shout, an oddly harmony ringing in my voice. “I think I’m, I mean, we have to go to the Choral Gate or—“

Lorani roars as a wave of energy washes over the battlefield and a feeling of dread drops through my stomach. I watch the breach fuse itself together now that it’s been stitched, and Eri falls to her knees. The ground begins to rumble, and I yelp as I’m jolted away from Reiko’s grasp and fall to the ground.

“Yukin!”

“Yuki, you looked just like Ayumi for a second! What did you do?!”

“We’re the same!” I yell, rolling over and trying to push myself off the ground. “I didn’t want this, Gabi. I didn’t want any of this!”

“The ground is still shaking. Why is the ground still shaking?” Reiko asks over the thrumming ground as she tries to ground herself with her sword. “Didn’t we fix the breaches?”

“Don’t tell me…” Ryoka looks at us worriedly. “Don’t tell me the seal is breaking around the Gate?”

Gabi nodded slowly. “I told Yuki, but I never told you. The seals are weakening. They have been since the last Civil Demon War. I had my suspicions, but with everything that’s happened these past few days I have a pretty good idea of what’s happening, and who’s behind it!”

“We have to hurry, then!” Ryoka yells. “I recognize this place, and it’s really not that far from here!”

Lorani whirls close, dropping Eri off beside us before coiling in such a way as to face us with her head. “The Choral Gate is in pain,” Lorani says worriedly. “Something’s happening!”

“Get us there!” Ryoka yells. Lorani nods and presents her neck. Gabi ushers me onto Lorani’s scales, and Reiko looks at me worriedly. I whine as another memory scratches into my mind. I curl into a ball to try and mitigate the pain, but it’s no use. It still hurts.

“Yuki, hold on!”

“Wait, what’s happening to Yuki?”

“Yukin!”

“Lorani, move!”

With a burst of speed, I feel air begin to rush past me, and I shiver at how cold I feel. I am sorry, Ayumi’s voice finally rings through my head once more and the pressure recedes. Those are the last few memories of me. Of us.

“I… didn’t want… this,” I manage to whisper. Gabi looks down at me worriedly, though I can tell she can’t hear me. “Why… did… you choose me?”

We chose ourselves, Ayumi says. I made a vow to protect not just the human realm, but the demons, too. They are our people as much as anyone is.

“Why… can’t I just live… a normal life…”

Do you not see, Yuki? I wince as Ayumi seems to play an array of memories before my eyes. Ryoka’s voice rings from ahead of me, pointing something out. I tiredly widen my eyes as I watch my own life pass me by. All the escapades I’ve had with my friends and family, all the trouble I’ve gone through. It all scrolls past me, and I blink. This is your life. OUR life. We are chaotic by very essence, and our normal is as chaotic as it should be.

“Even my birth, huh…?” I chuckle softly as the last memory, and arguably my first memory, plays itself. Yes, even our birth in this world was chaotic. I frown slightly at a thought, though. “If we’re the same, why are you…?”

A voice in your head? Ayumi finishes for me. I suppose… I have always been here. Our nature is to help and to befriend. We have done that for the entirety of both of our lives, no?

I can’t refute her. I think back on meeting Reiko, Eri, Gabi and Ryoka, and everyone else I’ve helped over the years. “I guess… I never saw my life that way.”

It only took an out-of-control resonite surge for me to return, Ayumi says. And now, you have full access to everything we have ever learned together. It isn’t just instinct anymore, Yuki. This is knowledge. And knowledge—

“—is power.”

I feel a surge of energy rush through me as heat fills the cold that had been settling over me. I feel a strange tingling over my left eye, and Gabi startles a bit as she helps me into a sitting position. “Yuki?” Gabi asks, “Are you…?”

“I’m here,” I tell her. “Don’t worry, this is normal.”

“That really isn’t normal,” Reiko comments nervously. “Your voice is doing a weird thing and your eyes—!” She grabs me and starts to shake me. “Who are you, and what have you done with Yukin!?”

Eri grabs her away from me and looks at me worriedly. “You’re feeling better, right?” Eri asks. I nod. She bites her lip and says, “You looked like you were dying, there. And, yes, you’re glowing again, and something is wrong with your eyes.”

I’m about to respond when Gabi tugs on my shirt. “You’ve done it, haven’t you?” Gabi asks quietly. “You’re Ayumi.”

I blink and frown. “Well, yes, but actually no.” I look down at my hands and blink as the power surge settles, and thrums under my skin, just out of reach. “I’m… me?”

We are us? Ayumi offers unhelpfully.

“I’m Yuki, but I was once Ayumi?”

“Your eye!” Reiko cries. “It’s back to normal!”

“Huh?” I finally bring a hand up to my left eye and frown. “Was something wrong?”

“It was a gold-pink,” Eri says. “Like the colours of a sunset, or sakura in the spring sun.”

“Huh,” I say. Is that your fault? I try asking in my head.

Of course, Ayumi says. It’s a physical manifestation of our duality.

I hum and give a small smile to all of my friends. “Thanks, for everything. For putting up with me, even though I hated myself for living such a crazy life. Thank you—“

Lorani turns upwards sharply and it was all we could do to hold on as Ryoka yelled, “Watch out!”

A symphony of broken instruments screams through the air and a beam of unstable blue light breaks the air, a hands-breadth away from the edge of Lorani’s scales. I feel that same energy begin to rush through me, and I stare downward as the four seals shatter in four bursts of white energy, and the world cracks below.