Chapter 32:

Volume III. Chapter 11. Goodbye cruel world

Welcome to my lost Jungle🪴


Chapter 11. Goodbye cruel world
Seemingly fed, seemingly given water, but still the same pain and aching in her lower abdomen. Kenji is at work and only comes home to sleep, bothering her and yelling. He unleashes all the anger he's accumulated at work, as if over the whole century onto Kasye. Lying down and crying in the cold — why even wake up at all..Dozing off, Kasye began to hear voices from a group of people who were probably having fun, even though they were trying to be quiet. Suddenly, the door opened and a dark‑haired guy stepped in — only then Kasye realize it was Dice. Two more grown men rushed into the room — one with a rope, the other buff with muscles all over his body so huge he even had to turn sideways to get through the doorway. Jumping onto the wide couch, the skinny guy threw the rope behind the girl's back — she just sat there, not even resisting letting herself be tied up. They bound her arms along her sides, leaving part of the rope to pull on,l and the second guy picked her up in his vety strong arms.Dc-tie her up! Run faster, hurry!!Dice shouted and after the friends ran out of the room with the girl, he left too — turning the other way in the end. Meanwhile, the two with the crazy girl kept running toward the forest. They didn't run for long — kept looking around thinking of where to hide. They got tired. Well, the skinny one guy got tired and the strong one was carrying the elf girl so he got tired too. Breathing heavily, still scanning around the skinny guy decided to speak:Fll-so what now, we climb a tree!?Jr-I may be strong, but I'm not climbing any tree!Ks-I can.The tied‑up Kasye Peach unexpectedly answered — they didn't even think she could talk!Jr-you'll run away..even with my teleportation.Still tugging at the rope, the muscular one replied with deep exhalations.Ks-you can tele‑li-port to me and I'll find a branch that can hold all three of us..!And she showed three little fingers, looking at them with hopeful eyes with that strange sparkle.Fl-hurry up — Kenji will come running and kill us all, we need to hide fast!Jr-is he angry?Fl-as usual!The two exchanged glances.This scared Kasye Peach — her eyes started darting from one guy to the other! Rocking her body as a sign for them to untie her, the skinny guy pulled out a small folding knife, cut the rope off her, and said:Fl-climb up with this rope. When you see the end of it stop, we'll teleport to you.Jr-and take this bracelet — put it down next to you and we'll appear.She nodded and with the rope and the guy's bracelet in her hand, she took a running start. With two big leaps, using her flying ability and her long‑trained skill of climbing trees, she ran up the thick trunk. The end of the rope had long since disappeared due to its short length and her climbing height, but after a few seconds unexpectedly, the rope dropped from the tree entirely — probably a signal. So they grabbed each other's hands — to teleport together and warped. They appeared on the tree where the peach‑haired girl was already waiting for them. The first guy looked around, while the skinny one suddenly clung to the tree — turns out he's afraid of heights.Fl-h‑how far down is it!?Jr-about 15 meters! So don't move much, you'll fall!His gaze moving up and higher, slid over the young elf's body. Slightly flustered, he turned away and started the conversation with a loud cough to distract himself!Jr-cough, cough, well, let's get acquainted aaam..young lady, I'm Joradan and this is our friend from the group — Skinny.Fl-I'm not skinny, my name is Fileon, actually!Jr-no one asked. Get me that paper betterAnd he seemed to point with his brows at his pants pocket. While Fileon rummaged through his pockets scared of falling, the athletic one continued:Jr-Peachette, we still don't know if you understand us and what language you speak, but we wrote our main question in Elvish Sindarin, we traced the letters from the computer screen..He hesitated a bit when Skinny handed him the paper—Ks-o‑okay!Kasye, now called Peachette answered with a smile.Jr-ho, how are things with Kenji?Fl-are you two in a relationship?Unfolding the paper, she saw crookedly written curls in Elvish — it really looked like they had just traced them from the computer screen. Kasye Peach stared at the paper blankly for a few seconds.Jr-a translator must have messed up — I probably traced the letters wrong maybe..Ks-it says here "Elf copulation".Fl-oh...A short Oh came out of Fileon after Kasye read it.Jr-yeah — did you sleep with our Kenji boy?Ks-well, we do sleep on the same couch every night! But we're not planning a child yet..The guys got an unexpected answer.Fl-so did it happen or not!?Ks-did what happen?She looked at both guys with her childish, cute, shiny eyes. Joradan covered his eyes with his palm in embarrassment.Ks-that didn't happen...and why would we need a child with him?She made two "ok" signs with her fingers connecting the two rings together — whatever that meant in her mind.Jr-please forgive us, Peachette for asking such questions. We're very curious to know more about our friend...does he bother you?Ks-uh...n-no.She softly shook her head from side to side; the girl seemed smiley and interested in the questions — the topic didn't embarrass or hurt her at all.Ks-well, he hugs me sometimes... he comes home from work and just collapses onto the couch in his white coat and falls asleep. He gets so tired, and I can see him getting worse — he might skip meals and study at night.The bruises and wounds on her body were very noticeable. The wind blew through the trees, making the leaves rustle. With one leg bent, sitting on one of the thick branches Kasye felt a sense of home — but once she is there, nothing will ever be the same.Fl-miss your home?She opened her eyes slightly, parted her lips and looked at the skinny guy's face in surprise — how did he guess? She nodded.Jr-so he took you by force, Peachette?Ks-uh‑huh...She answered sadly, but then smiled and continued:Ks-you call me Peachette — it's so cute!And she smiled!Fl-what's your real name?Joradan "completely unnoticed" elbowed him after those words—Ks-Peach is my last name as you call it, but my first name is Kasye.Fileon looked at his friend as if to say, "Why did you even shove me!?"Jr-oh, really? Kenji always called you Softie Peach...After his speech, Fileon realized he'd used the informal "you," and he should be formal since the elf race is respected and they don't know how old the girl is.Jr-even when he drinks alcohol he picks peach‑flavored stuff and covered with pillows, he just repeats that name...so we thought that was your name.Ks-oh...The girl listened with enthusiasm; she really was interested in what Kenji did outside of work.Fl-he lay drunk on the couch holding a few bottles tightly, covering himself with pillows, sniffing his shirt saying it smelled like peaches — HEY!!And Fileon got another elbow!Jr-does he ever ask you to do anything for him?Ks-he feeds me...I have a place to sleep. Sometimes — but rarely — he pins me down and cuts me..with a small knife like this, then licks it off. W‑we also go to the hospital together to the lower floors... For candy, he tied me up tightly a few times and stitched me up while I was alive..my skin. The scars still hurt. If I don't obey, he might hit me.Listening to this, dread was building up.Fl-insane. Remember, Jor🌚, how he cut his hands in the bathroom.With a heavy sigh and rolling his eyes, the other started telling...Jr-basically, our friends told us how he went crazy and was masturbating in the bathroom and cutting his hands. Everything was covered in blood, we barely carried him out!Ks-why would he do that to himself?..Fl-he didn't have a girl at the party!Jr-I wasn't there back then. A friend told me how everything was covered in blood and semen!—The athletic one cut in, rolling his eyes.Fl-it was because of loneliness, a hundred percent!Jr-we've got plenty of idiots like that in our crew — he's just one of them. Everyone's got their own nickname. Kenji's the most colorful one — when he laughs hard, he can crow like a rooster, lol, so we called him like that, a pied Rooster. And Dice — well, his nickname's obvious! Dice used to run a casino.Fl-he quit already!Jr-bought a car and quit!Kasye thought about how she'd never heard Kenji laugh out loudKs-Dice is nice — is he engaged? He showed me pictures of his wife...Jr-pfff — he shows everyone pictures of his wife!A loud laugh came from the muscular one, they call him the rock of the group.Fl-keep it down, will you!Jr-Ahem(cough xD). Kenji's our lone wolf — always sat in the corner. His loneliness bothered him for a long time; he's going crazy in his basement at the hospital. We found him drunk at a brothel last century and dragged him out. The last few years, all he thinks about is peaches, idiot.Fl-he must have gotten a girl — he just didn't tell anyone.Jr-he whined once! Peachy Peachy Peachie!Kasye laughed, then added into the silence:Ks-he also made me drink a lot and forced me to throw up..he calmed me down with pills that made me terribly nauseous.Fl-do you at least like his looks?Ks-well, how to say...Kasye started looking around and glancing down more often, as if searching for something.Jr-he's handsome, isn't he?Ks-y‑yes...The elf girl answered without even hearing the question, staring downward.Jr-would you sleep with him!?Joradan asked her abruptly, but the answer was that she sat up as if ready to jump, joined her hands together and blew into them letting out a loud whistle.Fl-don't forget to take something of ours so we can get down from here!!In response, Kasye Peach nodded, looking frightened. The stronger of the two extended his arm in front of her, as if signaling her to wait.Jr-please answer — this is the last question..And he handed her one of his small items as proof of the final question. She looked at the little thing with a scared and sad face and a whistle from below answered her. Lifting her head, looking straight into the eyes of one of Kenji's friends she replied:Ks-that would be considered rape.And she jumped off the tree abruptly. It was unsettling that such a young, agile girl now belonged to someone like him...Landing, she saw the backs of two guys examining the fallen rope near the mighty tree, glancing upward. Kenji muttered something displeased, then cupped his palms and blew into them letting out a whistle.Kasye Peach got up from the ground and tossed the small item she'd received from the guy nearby. Suddenly, right where she'd dropped it, two guys seemed to fall out of the sky — the ones she'd been talking to in the tree. Covering her mouth with both hands, she stared at them in shock and fear wondering what was happening and how Kenji Crassus would react to her running away and revealing too much...Pleasantly surprised to see Kasye alive and instantly furious at the unknown, especially with people like them, Kenji forgot what he wanted to say.Fl-how could you not tell us about her!Jr-you don't deserve her, man.And they both vanished in a teleport.Falling to the ground from shock and overwhelming emotions, he didn't want to control himself. He wanted to release all the rage — to scream, kill, hurt...Dc-come on, those scumbags are getting back at you for that bottle you smashed. Those gossips don't live their own lives — they need to know everyone else's! I'm heading into the bushes, I'll follow behind you, don't lose me.Ks-K‑Kenji..She ran up to him and knelt in front of him stroking his head and shoulders, trying to keep him from lying on the cold ground. It was terrifying to imagine what was going through his mind and what he thought of her now, but she wanted to clear things up — wanted to try yet again to apologize and tell the truth.Ks-Kenji Crassus, please..they didn't even touch me — they just wanted to scare me. It's okay, my sunshine, don't cry I'm fine..He lifted his head slightly and, in a slumped crouch hugged his dear girl.Ks-how about we never interact with people like them again if they act that way? You shouldn't have to hurt. I'm just as pure as if this whole situation never happened, please..Kj-you stupid fool!He started trembling with rough voice hoarseKj-do you even realize what they could have done to you!?Ks-Kenji, I'm sorry...Kj-who did you even go with!??Ks-they ran in and tied me up.. tightly — Dice was shouting for them to hurry up and runHe looked at her with a harsh face for a few seconds, then pressed his head to her chest. Finally, it became clear to him that they'd decided to mock him — just like he'd once done to someone in the group, that day he'd also smashed a bottle of theirs. Since everything was fine with this fool, his anger sank deeper — into a bloody plan.He hugged her, she stroked his back afraid of what he'd do next. Getting up, he continued holding her and carried her in his arms. Kasye looked over his shoulder and said:Ks-Dice..he's following us...And she waved her palm at him which made Kenji pause and glance back slightly. You could see on his face how tired he was and how he didn't want any more drama in his life — probably, he didn't want anything at all anymore. The elf girl remembered seeing the deep, healed scar on his arm, which made her worry. Then unexpectedly, Kenji said:Kj-carrying your body to be butchered!This wasn't part of Dice's plans so he refused to play along with such games.Kj-I'm joking, just hungry, I fried up some cutlets! The neighbors came over and butchered a cow, gave us the ass, and I fried it up—Kasye chimed in and said to the redhead's friend:Ks-we won't share with you Dice!And she smiledKj-yeah, we go home to eat each other!!The redhead was on edge, trembling all over, his rusty roof had finally come off...Dc-I'll never be able to eat meat again..Ks-in the end, it won't be me getting gutted!?Kj-you're too bony!The friend ran off from the furious elves when they finally reached the redhead's henhouse.Kj-we got him good, well done. Let's go eat thenAnd he turned to go through the door, when he heard from her:Ks-K‑Kenji..He heard the trembling voice of his beloved girl and turned to her.Ks-I'm scared.Kj-did they do something to you? Does something hurt?Unexpectedly, he sat down in front of her and started kissing her knees. Fear turned into surprise and shyness..Ks-i‑it's okay! They didn't even touch me..Kj-I'm calling you to eat..I promise I won't touch you until tomorrow.He said and get up. Swallowing she continued talking as she walked into the house with him.Ks-I'm scared of you..that I did something wrong.Kj-so what, should I kill you now? Got no better ideas?Ks-so I'll have to endure..punishment soon..She swallowed again and saidKj-not today. Rest.He said it in a rather rough tone, because her whining was starting to get annoying!After a good meal, the plates were replaced with cups of tea and a pile of candies and cookies.Kj-would you like to tell me..from start to finish what happened to you.In a calm tone sipping tea, Kenji Crassus asked trying not to scare her further, without yelling, gently.Kasye Peach's eyes darted across the table, unsure whether to tell the whole truth. And for the first time, perhaps she was seeing him so hypocritically kind. Something was definitely going to happen — something she feel in heart..Kj-come on.He nudged her thoughts.Ks-I was sleeping and Dice was the first to run into the room, then two guys after him — they grabbed me, tied me up..and we ran out of the house with themCarefully, pronouncing each syllable softly, she answered him.Ks-in the forest, we climbed a tree and they asked me..Kj-asked whatHe tried to speed up her speech, because she was talking slowly and anxiously.Ks-I..I don't perceive those things the same way you do — those things aren't as important to me as they are to you..Kj-asked what, just repeat their questions.With clarity in his speech, he made it clear she shouldn't mumble.Ks-they asked if you and I had..mh, a relationship and if I liked you..and well..Kj-and what did you answer?Ks-I answered yes, but that's..love is something different, you know..Kj-what else did they ask?Ks-they told me about you..that you..like peach‑flavored alcohol — and there's nothing wrong with that! I don't know you in that light, for me it's just information, without even a picture..Kj-what else!?Ks-they asked..about you...If I love you and what we do together..I‑I didn't answer anything! I said everything was fine, that I sleep and eat — and the last..the last question...Kasye Peach couldn't hold back her tears and hid her face, curling up in fear. Kenji sat down next to her, put an arm around her and stroked her head a little. He whispered:Kj-what was the last question?Ks-the last thing they asked..if I would sleep with you — and I..I answered n‑no..I'm really scared right now.Kj-I don't need you as a wife either — as my father says, I need ajust a dishwasher..all you do is cry and lie around.He explained quickly and continued:Kj-let's wash the dishes, shall we?In response, wiping her tears she nodded and they walked over to the sink. The girl took a sponge; he turned on the water and added dish soap to her sponge. Carefully, under his guidance she washed the plates. It wasn't particularly pleasant — deep down she really didn't want to take care of him. She didn't want to cook for him, didn't want to clean, didn't want to hear him. He was rude and raised his voice when she did something not according to his plan. She didn't want any of this in her life..she didn't want it...Before bed, after washing the dishes, they of course washed their hands — because Kenji always washes his hands after touching anything! Kasye's anxiety had grown even stronger. She was trembling. His head was near her chest, stroking his head she comforted him, responded with warmth and prayed not to hear harshness and physical violence..Kj-were you scared when you were with them? Why did they decide to run away with you?Ks-I was scared — they seemed to be from your circle of friends..how stupidly I fell for their trust...Kj-Dice told me you were kidnapped and ran into the woods..I was scared I'd never see you again!She didn't stop stroking his head.

Kj-we went looking for you..

Falling asleep, she began to hum a calm melody to him while thinking about something of her own, trying to quiet her anxiety. "And if I did marry him..would I have to work? Take care of the house for two grown men..cook for them, do laundry, wash dishes...Dirty. I don't want that..I don't want to dedicate my life to that. Kenji will definitely want offspring..a child... Ah, childbirth. It's a very difficult, bloody stage — and you might not even survive it. Kenji Crassus works too much; I'd have to spend enormous amounts of time alone with the child and..and listen to my husband's harshness. To go through such a difficult time and..not even get support. I don't want to be a mom.." Tears welled up in her eyes. Kasye Peach tried to fall asleep.

Too early in the morning, she was woken by unpleasant sounds that lasted more than ten minutes. After they stopped, Kenji walked into the room holding a gleaming, freshly sharpened knife in his hands. After examining its blade he slid it into its sheath. Kasye fell back asleep and as the guy was leaving he wanted to take the knife with him, but swore on his honor as a doctor not to brandish it — so he still took it anyway. That knife was not meant for Kasye Peach at all, though she did think otherwise for a moment.

The guy met up with the group of friends — and the two who loved to gossip and pry into other people's business! Heartless creatures, devoid of morals, amounting to nothing drinkers and wasters. He didn't want to talk to them one‑on‑one at all.

Jr-decided to fight?

A familiar voice from the muscular one rang out.

Kj-even if you touched my pure fool, I'm not going to fight on my honor as a doctor!

Fl-even though you're keeping her there by force?

The skinny one declared.

Kj-what the fuck!? She's an orphan! Some forest folk abandoned her at the nuthouse with a waiver of parental rights!

N3-so are you her father now!?

Kenji slapped his own forehead with his palm.

Kj-why did you do that, you scumbags? I'm not going to fight, and I'm not going to kill anyone either. It'll get unpleasant when information leaves our circle of communication!

Fl-then we'd all be behind bars by now!

PHAHAHAHA they laughed again.

Kj-Jor🌚, what did you even say to her! She's scared of me now! What have you done!! XD

He was drinking at the time and spat out a mouthful of whatever he'd taken into his filthy mouth.

Jr-I don't even remember! So she really is a virgin — even her mouth isn't as dirty as yours!

Kj-at least I cover mine with a mask, you idiot—

What mockery between them, and this company can't get by without swearing.

Jr-guys are total filth compared to her! Pure meat.

The conversation shifted to other topics, while Kenji Crassus thought about how he'd slit all their throats. He could forgive them all another time. Forgive when he paid for everything again, forgive when they spilled alcohol he'd paid for all over the club, forgive for being friends with them — and not lose his dream which had become too unreachable. He hadn't even forgiven himself for not finishing his studies, for going off to have fun instead of achieving his dream, hitting rock bottom. And for the one he fought for — the first one to bring a plant into his damp room, rotted from the pain of decaying hopes, a plant that started giving oxygen. Along with it came the sun — not bright, but through the cracks formed by the destruction of his repetitive behavior. It was warm. For the first time upon waking, Kenji noticed the sunbeams on the wall of his room — Kasye had learned to crack the window open... No matter what..:

"NO MATTER WHAT, I WON'T FORGIVE" — that was the last thought before the bloody horror in his head, but he was shoved and fell into the mud. If only that bastard would suffocate under Kenji's hands alive. Beatings until dark bruises and stab wounds oozing blood. Puddles of blood and friends fainting from wild pain. Serve time in prison, never forgive. Never forgive anything. His rage was overflowing — resentment, pain and thoughts of those who had once ruined him, he wanted them all dead. He didn't want to endure anymore...

He was home, breathing deeply and noticed that Kasye Peach was once again not in her sleeping spot. Maybe she'd gone somewhere again — but she hadn't appeared by evening...

***

...I'm scared. It hurts. I've run away before, but yesterday... I also told them too much. I was threatened not tell much and not to run away far... I can't take it anymore. I can't endure and think about what might happen as punishment. If..if I don't end up destroying myself in the end, then someone else will surely destroy me — there are no other options. Getting up, even though I was trembling with fear it was scarier to stay in bed. She threw on his white shirt to stay warm, it was hanging on the back of the chair, the only thing she wanted to put on. Kasye knew where the knife was, the small one he sometimes called a scalpel. In that drawer, right next to the chair. He'd cut her with it too. Taking it with her, Peach opened the window, jumped out and ran without even changing direction. Barefoot, it was cold and painful the grass felt prickly. Sometimes she flew a few centimeters above the ground to go faster and hurt less. It was already dark. A feeling of unreality, surreality ate her. Nothing was real. Her thoughts during the run reflected a strip of life from the outside, as if some little girl had finally gone insane, forgotten how to speak, and... since her body in this physical world ended up in a psychiatric hospital, did it even exist here before? Since her world is an illusion, how did little Kasye live here!? What was so cruel about her childhood that, remembering nothing from it, she lived in her imaginations!? And if...if I don't want this again...I don't want more violence... I want to run away again,to where no one will touch me, where my world is endless jungle and even though strange columns stand in different places, even if they make bell sounds and crack! Even if that world is strange and immaterial..it's my home. The place where there was no violence. Where there was no concept of using my body and consciousness for someone else's gain. I was free and happy, even if it's immaterial and surreal, strange — even if I get nothing in return, I've already gotten a ton of emotions and feelings of freedom unlike what violence gives me! It hurts to live in this flesh, I don't want to live in a world of abuse anymore.

Kasye Peach stopped near a slope. Falling to the ground and pulling out the cutting tool, she began to injure herself. "Since I can't find a place for myself here..can't take root. It's monstrously too much and no one deserves to live through violence — the fact that I've held on until now only speaks of an inner strength that has run out, whose fragments still glow and beg me to stop suffering! It cuts me deep inside, it's fucking painful! I'm a monster, one not accepted by society. Goodbye cruel world — the sun will rise again, and I will continue my plea to be loved, somewhere else. ...I can't take it anymore. Forgive me. Come on, let's get this over with! Get rid of this unclean world. I was forced to eat tasteless soup, soup filled with my tears. Since this is part of me, why can they use it!? I'll run away, run after a butterfly — even if I was told not to run far from home, the butterfly knows the best path. This world isn't for me — I will continue to beg for a better reality. I was cut open for experiments, like entomologists study butterflies! They should have left me alone, broken the eggshell. Having gained such an experience..how can I continue to think... You've warped the perception of my world — everything that was destroyed was me. This is part of me, but where is my heart then?" ...

Kenji couldn't drink his tea without anxiety — she'd been gone for too long. He started feeling that something was wrong — she wasn't gone by her own will again. Getting ready quickly, he didn't know how long the search would take. He wandered through the forest, remembering how he'd cried here a few years ago in the rain while listening to his favorite song, back when he was trying to quit smoking but still smoked. Back then, his hands were completely cut up, and he had dreamed..back then he was still capable of that. Saving himself by turning to stone — probably, he still hadn't managed to be saved. Wandering through the forest, he came to a slope where there was a rocky crevice in the ground. He stumbled upon something dark, yet simultaneously bright red. The body was wearing clothes, lying curled up. It hurt the most when he noticed that the small body had short peach-colored hair. Her long ears were completely cold... His first thought was that she might still be alive! I'm a doctor, I'm a fucking doctor... I didn't save you in time..even though I wasn't in a hurry.

He began to examine her — she'd cut her throat with the cutting tool, the same scalpel he'd used to injure her too. Hugging her a little, placing her on his knees he began to realize how cold she was and that she wasn't moving anymore. "Please, say something..." — flashed through his mind like a last hope. "Why did you do this to yourself, you must have been in so much pain—" and he started stroking her head, just like she had stroked his the previous evening. All this time he'd controlled her pain, and now she'd crossed the boundaries. "You know... when you ran away the first time, I was so worried... I waited for you then..." Trembling, he stared at one spot and seemed to be rethinking all the experience he'd gained over these last bright years — and the bright years came from the little ray of sunlight that Kasye Peach had brought into his life. Over these years, he'd rethought a couple of moments from his own childhood too. He'd been an active child, but from childhood he only remembered his mother's lullabies — later she disappeared. He was often left alone and played in the yard, squashing caterpillars and beetles. He'd throw up from wild berries and tear up his toys. He buried himself in studies and forgot how to run, forgot about sunlight too. He started living monotonously — routine oppressed him, work consumed him more and more, and breaks were only for sleep and food, sometimes eating right over documents. Monotony erased emotions from his face, life became monochrome. He slept right at work because it was allowed, but now he hurried home and for the first time started leaving things unfinished or doing them faster just to spend more time with Kasye. It was easier with her — she was like a trash bin, and he could mold her to liking. The best girl in life — you mold her to yourself and don't even have to feed her! For the first time in years, he felt forgotten emotions — at this moment, he shed a tear, though he'd previously thought it was something stupid — he began to feel... such strong pain...

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