The chapter after book

This chapter is a direct continuation, it just wasn't included in Volumes. It is not even a special*⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

The chapter after book 

Every evening he came to this place, every time he tended to this spot and brought more and more daisies. It was his daily execution. He would lie down on this spot and cry, not knowing what to do next. He pressed his whole body against the grave mound, as if trying to hear her breathing through the layer of soil. The earth was cold, but to him it was warmer than his entire past life. Almost a month of darkness before his eyes. Home, work — nothing else brings joy, no one waits at home just like before. He wanted to hide from the sunlight, wanted to close his eyes forever. My little worthless thing, she always slept so deeply — she was already so far away back then. "I wanted to take her life to save my own."

A symbolic attempt to embrace vulnerability, a desire to feel softer to be in need of care. Kenji tried to enter her experience, took steps in learning empathy. He put on a skirt. It was a men's skirt — for his race it was something normal to wear, but the monster inside him was still raging in fury and horror, while the child abandoned by his mother just wanted to curl up and cry. The guy literally stopped understanding who he was. Finally, he decided to meet with those who had last spoken with that arrogant, shameless, selfish ... !!!

Rejecting the role of the abuser — the deepest and most honest moment. By putting on a skirt, he subconsciously wanted to switch places with her; he also wanted to translate unbearable mental pain into physical pain, to swap places with the one he had humiliated all these years and physically experience all the cuts and pressure. In this way, he wanted to bring Kasye back through himself. If Kenji became just as fragile maybe he would feel what she felt. His first childish, innocent step was to put on a skirt as a way of seeking forgiveness from his own body for the cruelty he had shown. All his life he was taught to be smart and strong, controlling — but the one who slept beside him all those years allowed him to be fragile. "God, just break me the same way I wanted to break her!"

The three of them met, and when they finally saw their friend after a long time of him not answering messages or calls — in a skirt — they were surprised. The aura of pain emanating from him was so strong that it even frightened Fileon and Joradan. Kenji was wearing a skirt — what could have possibly been going on in his life this month? What had he been through to come to his dumbass friends in a skirt like a complete loser? He was so unafraid of defilement or opinions about his appearance that, seeing him the two friends had nothing to say.

They sat at a table in a small café — well, my guys love eating meat at the restaurant "At the Cannibal's" and of course, what they love most is when my favorite redheaded man pays for all of them.

Kj-you spoke with her for the last time — the one who died a little over a month ago. I'm not going to be rude or defile you in any way, but please just answer a couple of questions about her — you saw her last time. Please tell me about her honestly — what you talked about with her..back then.

The guys finally got their most delicious steak and started biting into it with their hands — no other way. The skinny Fileon answered, because the first bite was of course taken by the strongman Joradan.

Fl-actually, we barely even remember!

Kj-what did you at least start the conversation with?..

In despair, with tired sleepless eyes, Kenji looked at his friends, who seemed to be having a blast.

Jr-we wanted to ask her more about you, because all you know in this life is peach‑flavored alcohol. And then you got Peachette, but every time we asked about her you'd roll your eyes and be rude, so OM NOM NOM NOM we decided to kidnap her!

Kj-you..idiots...?

Jr-isn't it obvious!?

Kj-okay..do you remember the first question or did she say something first? Did you touch her?

Fl-we were scared of her ourselves — Dice said she bites!

Jr-you were the one about to throw up in that tree, Skinny!

Kj-you climbed a tree?

What was even going on — they weren't giving a clear description! It was incredibly infuriating!

Jr-mmm, tasty meat — yeah, she can jump on trees, on walls fly — she teleported us up there!

Fl-he means he has teleportation but Peachette climbed up herself to a tree

Jr-hehehe, you even asked me about the name of some game when you first saw it!

Kj-okay, enough. Did she say anything? Did you ask questions?

And then the guys laughed out of nowhere..

Fl-I was supposed to hand her a piece of paper with an Elvish inscription about sex, but luckily this fatty was sitting closer to her! And don't elbow me! He got all embarrassed and somehow wriggled out of that absurdity!

Jr-well, think about it — she's such a beauty and asking her if our redhead friend ever had sex is just fu—

Kj-diots..

Fl-don't worry Kenji! She answered that she sleeps with you, right next to you only her feet are always cold and..

Jr-and she hasn't had sex.

The Strongman added.

Kj-was she smiling at all?

Jr-she was shy in front of a man like me!

Fl-she even sympathized with me when I felt bad — I'm afraid of heights..

Kj-do you even realize that you defiled her!?

Jr-yeah.

He answered carelessly and continued biting into his meat — shut up, Kenji, go pay the bill.

Kj-did she say anything about me?

Fl-she even showed her body — bruises and cuts scattered all over it. It hurt her to talk about it.

Kj-so she hated me in those moments!?

Turning his head left and right in a "no" gesture the strongman answered:

Jr-nah, she, you know, that thing..

And predictably, a burp and unbearable laughter from him:

Jr-PFFAHAHAHAHAHA

In between which, the Skinny one said the words that would stay in Kenji's soul forever:

Fl-she never blamed you at all..

And he licked his fingers, kissing each one!

Jr-she said so sincerely that you're smart, kind and that you take her to the hospital where you cut her open alive.

Kenji Crassus looked at them, at their behavior and their conversation and how exactly they described this situation. He looked through the pain — the pain that this girl had left him — and he was afraid. Not afraid of what they had told her about his crimes, but afraid of what they had told her about his weakness. How pathetic he was — what did she even think about that moment of loneliness and obsession!?

Jr-did you sell her panties? She reported that she had new underwear every time!

Fl-only fetishists do that..

Kj-why did you tell her about that drunk incident in the bathroom? What did she even answer?

At the same time, the Strongman and the Skinny one asked this tricky question with loud laughter at the end, naturally: Which ONE of the bathroom incidents!? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Kenji was no longer surprised by anything — he just rested his head on his palm.

Fl-she asked in surprise: "why did he do that and what led him to it!?" Personally, I was very surprised by that — even a mother wouldn't care that much! Even though I was raised by one old lady..

"She felt..unbearably sorry for me!? Someone like me..no‑no one should ever love someone like me..." Kenji lowered his head and thought. "Even in those moments, it was important to her to understand why"... that compassion was stronger than any hatred.

Kj-so..she sympathized with my pain?

And again a male burp there..

Jr-dude! We don't remember!!

Fl-thanks for the food!

Fileon smiled and the guys parted ways... Kenji Crassus walked slowly down the street, realizing that she had already owned his heart back then — her wisdom had already won so long ago. Kasye Peach understood the reason for his cruelty. ... "Her sympathy wasn't in vain — he began to believe in it. Since even she believed and continued to see light in him — so much brighter than he himself could, then that light must exist somewhere." To reach for life on his own — he wanted to prove to her shadow that her compassion wasn't wasted...

Just as dice are rolled on a table, that very Dice suddenly appeared in Kenji's path with the words:

Dc-redhead! I haven't seen you in so long!

And he rushed into a hug, saying:

Dc-blink if you're gay!

Kj-damn it, Dice, get off!

Dc-where have you been all this time!? Are you wearing a skirt or something..PHAHAHAHAHA MAN!! I have a wife..HAHAHAHA

He started laughing loudly, because he was always tipsy. He tried to squeeze in something about his wife and her high heels between laughs, but every time he looked down at the redhead, he couldn't get a single word out!

Kj-that's why I didn't want to see you..

Kenji answered him languidly and Dice continued:

Dc-my wife bought black high heels one size too big — they're almost two sizes too small for me! I can give them to you, pfft PFFAHAHAHAHA

Kj-I don't need anything from you! Idiot!

Dc-so what happened!!?

Swallowing and turning his rusty roof slightly to the side, he desperately uttered:

Kj-...Peachette died.

Dc-who— what!?

Dice didn't want to take it seriously, but unfortunately it turned out this friend of his wasn't lying at all.

Dc-for real..so that's why you were nowhere to be seen or heard?

To that, the redhead only took a deep breath and exhaled.

Dc-so..so it was meant to be..meant for something to change. I'm not an advisor but please get help — more professional than my mockery of your skirt. I mean, you work in psychology! There must be some way out!

Kenji listened to this and it didn't matter at all — his friend didn't even understand what he was saying, he was stupid. This worm didn't even know who this girl was to him and how they spent time together! How much more precious this girl had become than his own mother and...

Dc-you didn't even have sex with her! What did you find in this girl!?

And that really stung him. Stopping, he looked at his friend's face and said:

Kj-we became one on the level of mind and heart, not just bodies. I saw the meaning of existence in her — she was a sacred vessel. And you don't even understand what you're talking about. Goodbye.

And he left his "colorful" friend alone, even though he needed to go the other way. At that moment, he realized how lonely he was — that he was the only one who fully understood KasyePeach. This normal world would never understand the greatness of his madness. Meanwhile, Dice rolled his eyes soulfully and on his way home thought what kind of "meaning of existence" had his friend discovered? Kenji was abandoned to loneliness again — he didn't know how to handle this light in his hands. It was easier to scream in pain, to want to rot in the grave.

These three days were languid — even his father asked where his girl was. Kenji answered that now she was always with him and wherever he went, he carried her. "She gave me everything. She gave me her trust, her vulnerability, her warmth. She came to me herself, despite all the beatings. And the next day, I continued to be rot again." At the end of one workday, it was pleasant to play the claw machines with plush toys for the first time — out of foolishness. If the girl had been there she probably would have liked it. Lucky for him he won a plush carrot, and it struck him carrying him back to childhood as he walked down the street illuminated by the evening light. "A carrot, but I don't need a carrot.. m‑my mother used to call me that — as a child, my father told me that my mother called me 'little carrot.' Such a pity, I don't remember that woman, only that drop of warmth she gave me." It was beautiful all around — the edge of the city, and again the forest with a light breeze rushing through the trunks and branches, and the setting sun still illuminating the trees with bright rays. For the first time, the guy finally started looking around — at nature, feeling the different scents in the air. For the first time in a long time, he started feeling anything at all — and even feeling too much. "Carrot... That's right, how could I forget? Bunnies." And he remembered the girl's friend — her number was still saved if it hadn't been changed. That evening he called her from his personal number, begging her to pick up begging that this girl would meet with him. And how lucky he was! Recently, this crazy Bunny girl had left her number as a joke on an abandoned bulletin board! For several days she'd occasionally received calls from unknown numbers with requests to meet or go for a walk, as well as inquiries about buying a garage or cooking some kind of herring for some men. "Please pick up, please pick up..the phone" — he prayed to himself. He had already called her, had already spoken to her, but through his main personal number — this was the first time.

Lf-hello..?

Someone picked up and answered, sounding a bit sleepy.

Kj-Leafy Citrusses! I—

Lf-how do you know my full name!? I didn't leave my number for that in a bathroom stall! I'm just about to change my SIM card!

And at that moment, it struck Bunny that it might be better not to leave her number scribbled in bathrooms anymore...

Kj-ugh..I'm so glad to hear you..but that's not why I'm calling...

Kenji placed his hand over his heart and exhaled. Then he continued:

Kj-do you still keep in touch with the elf girl Kasye Peach? Do you remember her?

Lf-ahh— yeeah

She answered thoughtfully, drawing out a couple of vowels and immediately asked:

Lf-who are you?

Kenji: Sorry for not introducing myself..I am that doctor who was constantly with her.

Lf-..and what is your name, I forgot :)

And you could even hear her smile in an infantile way

Kj-Kenji..Crassus

He said his name and added his last name with a slight awkwardness, because he remembered that Kasye Peach had told him at the very beginning of their acquaintance how exactly this Bunny had given her instant noodles with cilantro to try, and she really didn't like them. All this time Kenji's last name meant Coriander... After a moment of waiting, the Bunny girl answered in a silly tone as if she were chewing something in the background:

Lf-I'll text you on kAkAo ^-^

Kj-okay—

The guy quickly replied and hung up, constantly refreshing the messenger. Only by evening did he receive her first message — not just a message, but a sticker with the text "dying of passion, not boredom." While he was lying on the couch thinking about what to reply Dice sent him a photo! Kenji's serious face suddenly softened — in the photo his friend had decided out of boredom to capture the moment when he was kneeling, hugging Kasye. His friend captioned the message saying they looked very cute and very broken in that moment. He'd taken the photo as a joke — probably the last photo she could have ever been captured in. Sorry my friend, but I couldn't not show you this. The most interesting thing is that a threshold creature like her is hard to capture on camera — the photo won't save and an error will occur, but here her physical body had probably already grown stronger, so she was able to be photographed. That is, she had almost become a full part of the physical space — but unfortunately she didn't take root...

In response, the redhead just reacted with a heart emoji to that message and before he could switch to the chat with Bunny girl, dice boy sent a long message: "Did you really love her? In that cold village home you were kissing her feet! Sorry I accidentally saw — I forgot to slam the door louder! After that you humiliated her in front of me — she really did obey you because she had no choice. I don't blame you — I hope you were happy in your bloody actions — but let her be happy without you too suffering in the opposite way." In response, the guy again put a red heart on the message and finally switched to the chat with the Bunny girl. He wrote that he'd like to meet and talk at least a little about that girl. He wrote that he felt pain and gently said that this girl had left him. The meeting place was up to Bunny to choose and he would pay for almost everything she asked — only he couldn't come to the Citrus Streets himself because of an intolerance to mycelium. In the Citrus World, among tropical palms there also grow acid mushrooms of the same enormous size. They're slimy and sometimes drip onto the ground. There are many terracotta‑colored architectural houses and the bright sun melts your eyes. It's not that it's that hard to be there — it's just that choosing another place would be more comfortable for both. Leafy Citrusses didn't ask for much — she chose something like a McDonald's, and for protection she asked to come with her boyfriend who would sit nearby with headphones on, so as not to interfere but also to somehow protect her. After agreeing and sincerely thanking her in return, he received another sticker with the text "good night cutie!" He instantly smiled at what was happening — that the meeting would take place, that he'd be able to talk about this situation, that he wasn't alone and also a "cutie"! Immediately a message came from his friend Dice: "Well, explain to me — why did you humiliate her first and then kiss her feet!!? Are you a psychopath? Are you okay? You're putting red hearts on my messages.." He didn't want to reply to that message, but still: "Did you talk to her while I was gone? Remember her words." But no one remembered anything — no one even read it — all three of them went to sleep. Only one Bunny girl went to bed later than everyone else. She was looking at the profile of her new contact. Indeed, it was a personal number — the nickname literally meant "ginger beer bottle." Pretty strange guy, in the space where you can write a few words about yourself or a quote, it was written at his profile: "I like it better, better looking red" — and Bunny felt a chill from the context of those lines..On the main profile photo he had turned his face slightly to the side. Since there were several photos, so can check them all. The next one was taken by holding the phone camera slightly above his head as if from the side — and that was Kenji himself in his white coat as usual in a white shirt and pants. His glasses and tired eyes looked beautiful in this photo, his hair lying messily. The next photo was already taken in a car by someone — the guy was sitting in the passenger seat next to the driver, holding his phone strangely against his long ear with his middle, ring and thumb fingers, while his index and pinky stuck out like little horns! He was clearly interested in the conversation examining his painted black nails, even bending his pinky back. In the next photo, he was drinking from a cardboard cup and looking to the side — the photo seemed to be taken outside, at a picnic. The next one was that same picture with the bloody heart‑shaped Valentine's Day candy box — Leafy scrolled past it without lingering. The next one was clearly just a cropped part of a photo — in a dark house, on an old couch next to a worn flower pot with a withered plant, he was lying on his friend's lap with a blinking silver cross earring in his long ear, sweetly asleep. The friend was slightly leaning in and maybe even stroking the redhead's head. Behind them were two white pipes of cast‑iron radiators and old, long‑faded curtains. The photo had been taken specifically to capture the ugly friend's face, fully overexposed by the camera flash so it was completely white and grinning across the whole frame — but the photo that Kenji had in his profile was specifically cropped to focus on him sleeping on someone's lap, though part of the white face was still visible. In the next photo the guy looked younger and in abandoned place filled with trash he was holding a plastic doll in a pink ruffled dress. He had different glasses — slightly larger and someone was photographing little Kenji adjusting the doll's strap with a creepy smile. The following two photos were just old worn‑out pictures — crooked drawings of a guy and a girl standing together listening to music and a similar one where the guy was already hugging the girl. That was about all Leafy could look at in his profile, so she went to sleep.

Bunny extravert girl doesn't like to wait long, she lives in the here and now, doesn't have many plans for life — every day is a new life with something new, so the very next day she met Kenji who was wearing a skirt — the cruel suitor of her old elf friend. She's a professional at finding suitors — now she'll tell him how she won love from one! She wasn't at all bothered by the skirt on this elf guy — stylish, young or however old he was?

They sat down at a table in a restaurant that was like a McDonald's but with very tasty, high‑quality chicken and she ordered herself chicken nuggets. She also ordered a giant bucket of breaded chicken legs with a huge double cheese sauce! Watching her devour it as if she hadn't been fed for months Kenji decided to ask a question, but Leafy interrupted him:

Kj-well, I—

Lf-where is Kasya now?

Kj-she's in her world, Arcades — now..just...forever.

Leafy was biting into her chicken, while her partner in brain‑melting Elijah, was playing on her phone to earn more coins for her game profile.

Lf-okay. If I can, I'll meet with her — I'll definitely write to you and tell you. It's just not working out for me right now — she's probably stressed..

The conversation seemed comfortable, not nervous at all. Leafy tries to resolve issues; if something is unpleasant she'll say so directly. And honestly she herself doesn't even know how to be rude to anyone — which makes her look infantile in the eyes of those who throw mud at her, while she just eats chicken.

Lf-I won't be able to pass anything on to her, though — she has to accept it herself somehow.

Leafy was chewing her food not knowing what else to say, so Kenji asked:

Kj-how do you make new acquaintances so easily in general?

Lf-well, lately I..haven't been making any at all. I was broken! I kept following this one guy around..

And she looked at the tired guy with her batting eyes, dipped her little claw into the cheese sauce, licked it off and continued:

Lf-I kept following him around but he didn't pay any attention to me — so I started doing other things and admitted the problem. Then I noticed that this cutie started courting me..

And after licking it again she dipped her claw into the cheese sauce once more and gave a slight nod toward the boy she'd come with.

Lf-I wouldn't have even noticed him if I kept chasing that broad‑shouldered one!

She wanted to add that Jacon was a broad guy with muscles but decided to hold herself back in front of the person she was talking to.

Lf-then I saw his apartment a little and there were so many scattered things and dirt everywhere — so I wasn't even disappointed.

She carefully touched the tasty chicken with her little claws near her mouth...

Lf-I can't give any advice but first of all, the main thing is to accept that "it turned out this way!" How did everything end up like this..!

And she swayed from side to side, opening her palms.

Kj-can you say something about Kasya..?

Holding her little claw in her mouth, she opened her eyes looked at her companion, nodded and decided to answer:

Lf-Kasya is a very wise elf girl — so wise that she felt cramped with you. She never once spoke badly of you, even though you could see how genuinely afraid of you she was.

To that, Kenji nodded and listened more carefully.

Lf-she..is very sensitive. I even feel a bit hurt myself that you were like a black hole for her. Everything will be okay — she would have been genuinely happy to see you smiling! Do you remember the last time she laughed?

The guy thought about it and couldn't answer that question.

Lf-maybe you're doing something now that you enjoy? You're very smart.

Kj-I went back to studying — now I work half the day and study the other half.

Lf-oh, that's great! Do it from the heart with interest! It will create good memories — the kind you can recall with warmth and a smile. I have plenty of cool memories with friends, but when I walked alone in the forest I loved being alone so much! You should go for walks more often too! A sunset will be just as beautiful no matter who you're with — it's just that with someone, you'll notice it sooner.

And she smiled as she said the last part! She'd already eaten everything and was waiting for maybe one more question from Kenji. He in turn, was very inspired by her story, so he remembered something:

Kj-oh, right — while tending to her grave I found this object nearby..

And he took out a transparent bag from his bag with a crooked little thing inside — made of dark wood and coated with varnish, like a curved little stick. Leafy Citrusses sharpened her gaze on this object, because she knew what it was.

Kj-what could this be? It looks like something new.

Lf-well..you need to figure that out for yourself...

She hesitated, not knowing what to say.

Lf-have you..by any chance had any strange dreams? Like..eternal Jungles, beige columns or endless corridors/hallways?

She drew out the last letter of each word, trying not to reveal too much — maybe it all seemed like complete nonsense to her companion right now.

Kj-no. Why?

Lf-oh..maybe..anything strange at all? Has there been?..

Calmly but a little frightened, she asked.

Kj-actually, there was one dream but I don't think it's directly connected to this object. In it..I was walking and crying a lot. I lay down in a fetal position under a peach tree and just lay there. I heard the leaves rustling on the branches and one even fell on my cheek. It was cool and pleasant. And that was it — there was nothing else there but that peaches tree.

Lf-oh..she..forgave you.

Kj-how is she?

And the Bunny girl kept looking at this object, which he'd already placed on the table. Wiping her eye, she didn't even know what to say.

Lf-everything is fine — just..just remember that she forgave you and she would have been genuinely happy to see you living a brighter life than before and with her. You're very smart — please, use that intelligence for good...

Her voice became quieter compared to how it was at the beginning. Nodding, she looked at his face.

Lf-I'll definitely write to you again about her — everything is fine.

Kj-okay, thank you so much, have a good day.

Lf-h‑have a good day too!

Getting up from the table, the Bunny girl nodded and they parted ways. As the guy walked toward the portal he thought: "When was the last time I heard her laugh?" And he remembered — while making quick steps across the dry asphalt. They were lying in one of the rooms where his father spent most of his time, dividing the rooms up like that. The guy and Kasye were lying on the couch in the middle of the room, watching TV. On one of the walls opposite the TV hung a carpet or rug right on the wall. This room LITERALLY SMELLED LIKE AN OLD MAN! The guy and the girl were watching a violent movie in complete darkness. That TV was the only source of light in the entire dark house. This was the same room where Kasye Peach had answered Kenji's question about whether she had a brain despite being considered stupid, and called him heartless. Slowly lowering his head, he allowed her to fall asleep on him. Holding her with his arm under the flickering filth playing on the TV, he listened to the girl breathing on his chest. This lasted quite a while, about 20 minutes. The idyllic silence and soft sounds of air that Kasye drew into her fragile lungs were broken by his father, who decided to enter the room in the middle of the night after coming home from work. He walked over and started muttering something in a whisper. Kasye Peach woke up because Kenji was answering his father:

Kj-..yeah, I prepare something for myself early in the morning — I don't understand what I'm doing half asleep!

And his words — that he prepares something early in the morning — sounded like he was preparing something from the ass‑crack of dawn!

Kn-you're really something with your fried eggs! You take that herb from the fridge to sprinkle on your early omlette and the whole fucking thing burns, you've ruined your own pan and decided to take mine too!

This was said in Elvish Sindarin half-whispered, which has special value in that language when it comes to herbs and plants. Kasye found it incredibly funny how in the middle of sentences about rotten herbs — with all the respect the Elvish language has for plants, he suddenly switched to the common language (the international one? the one the elf girl didn't know when she first arrived in this physical world, the one she still couldn't read) to say how that herb burns! It was so funny she couldn't hide her laughter — Kasye giggled. After that, his father added in a whisper continuing to curse in Elvish with all due respect to herbs and plants:

Kn-how many years has that cilantro been sitting in that fridge anyway!?

She burst out laughing, slid off Kenji and on her knees tried to apologize, tried to get a word out, but her laughter was too strong. In the background, the movie was playing silently, illuminating the room — with such crap about walking dead and blood, blood, and more blood, with bright flashes and...

Kn-you're filling her brain with such filth!

Rolling his eyes and turning his attention to the only source of light — the flickering frames of a movie about creatures that literally eating each other, his father even pointed his palm at the TV screen showing that crap.

Kj-dad.

But the son just wanted him to leave already and stop bothering them while they watched violent cinema!

Kn-you could have put on something more fun for her!

Kj-as you can see she's having fun.

The girl couldn't contain her insane laughter. When his father left muttering something, Kenji turned off the TV and the whole house plunged into pitch darkness. It was really scary — Kasye walked holding his arm completely. After leading her through the darkness and laying her on the couch, he went to wash father pan. When Kenji came back, he noticed his girl was clearly worried about him getting yelled at.

Kj-are you seriously worried about that pan!? I washed it—

Kn-Kenji.

His father came back and called his son in a very serious tone.

Kn-are you fucking out of your mind!?

Exhaling as if rolling his eyes, Kenji got up and went to wash that pan again! Kasye really laughed very loudly at that moment.

Smiling as he remembered this, Kenji Crassus bought himself a couple of tasty buns, they were still warm and some instant three‑in‑one coffee. Already at home, he ate calmly realizing that his girl had loved these buns. He could taste the food; he could feel that the coffee was too hot. He ate slowly, savoring it — for the first time in a long time enjoying food. Probably, somewhere deep inside, he finally admitted that he was weak. He was grateful — with every swallow of the tasty bun, he was grateful for his very existence. "God, for you I would kill myself, promise with my mental health — I'll just die, please put me in a psychiatric hospital." He finally understood and was genuinely grateful that this girl had simply been in his life — her shadow would always be with him. Thank you for never giving up on me...

***

The Jungle. It looks the same as before, just as unsettling, it's going to rain soon, right? Finally, Leafy made it to Arcades, as usual through dreams. After walking not as far as usual, she entered one of the buildings where the elf girl kept many confirmations of her memories — and weather became foggy. "That damn grassy smell..I know it. Is it from the next room?" flashed through Bunny's mind, and she immediately exclaimed:

Lf-what have you done here!!?

She found her old friend lying on a large piece of foam rubber that had appeared from who knows where — and smoking! Well, at least they were just regular cigarettes..but nearby were broken glass flasks with green gunk on the walls!

Her pale eyelashes only closed once, shifting her gaze; she languidly didn't even answer, but pointed her head toward the parallel beige wall. Bunny looked around and noticed that through a large window in the wall, a curved iron rail passed unfinished, along which a trolley could run. Kasye Peach was already on her feet, put out her cigarette and hugged her old friend tightly, almost falling to her knees. Leafy Citrusses immediately understood how depressed her friend was, how hard it was for her after that brutal experience, and how...

Ks-I can do whatever I want now, can you imagine!!

She got such an unexpected answer.

Ks-only one red ribbon left and my soul will be cleansed again! I'll be able to restore my physical body! You brought that part of the gramophone, right?

Lf-l‑let's take it step by step..what are these red ribbons?

The girls moved to the next room — this beige building now adorned with curved rails everywhere for a trolley path! It looked so..wrong.

Ks-my physical body is dead — fortunately, by my own choice. When I appeared here I had five red ribbons on the most bloodied places from my death or rather, from the death of my physical body. Only one is left to remove and I don't know how to atone..And the main connection to the physical space is still the same gramophone—you found..that part..Leafy?

She looked dejected, not even knowing how to phrase her answer.

Lf-the thing is, he...he..tends to your grave.

Closing her eyes tightly and lowering her head down, she continued:

Lf-K‑Kenji found that gramophone part...

Kasye felt a chill of dread — now she couldn't even get rid of the last red ribbon! Choking on emotions, her eyes darted around for a few seconds and then grabbing her hair, she let out a loud prolonged scream. She remembered scolding Bunny friend for laughing too loudly and now she was screaming herself — deliberately. Her brain processed this information as an emergency — an attack on the most precious thing..her safe place. This world, the Jungle that had grown through the rocky terrain, the world decorated by her own hands, the inner strength that illuminated all of it..would it collapse alive? He had attacked her body, her will, her feelings, her wisdom. In the end, he took her physical body:

Ks-..HE WANTED TO DEVOUR ME PERSONALLY! ALIVE! B!TCH, HE KILLED ME!

The eternally calm, wise, bright elf girl was cursing at the top of her lungs throughout the beige columned building.

Ks-how cruel! I didn't sleep, I ate his food, he controlled me, fvck! Every..breath of mine! He turned me inside out and raped me! EVERY DAY I WOKE UP IN THAT HELL! My tears ran out — and he aimed at something NOT EVEN PHYSICAL!? How the fuck hasn't he gotten tired of it!!

For the first time Leafy wasn't embarrassed by her own tears. She hadn't seen anything like this even in horror movies if she hadn't really watched those anyway. Hearing the sniffling, Kasye calmed down and asked:

Ks-did you talk with him? What is he doing!?

Lf-he tends to your grave.. he came to me in a skirt and...

Ks-AAAGGHHH

And again, the young elf girl couldn't contain her emotions! Hiding her eyes with her palms, trying to stay on her feet she stomped her foot, leaning forward slightly. Unexpectedly, along the path through the window instead of a trolley, a small beeping cube quickly rode in — and because of the broken parking spot, it flew off the tracks and nearly hit the nearby Bunny girl standing! The robot flipped onto its side from the maneuver and was adorably wiggling its little wheels! This made Kasye Peach even angrier!

Ks-THIS is what's happening in my world now! They've wrecked everything for me!!

Raising a piece of rebar from the corner, she continued to rant while Leafy didn't understand what was happening and stared at this cute little cube bug

Ks-damn dream eating machines!

As she swung the heavy iron bar her friend started stopping her — because she felt so sorry for the most adorable creature she'd ever seen!

Lf-don't hit it!! Don't hit it!! It's little..what is this?

Rolling her eyes and turning toward the corner, throwing down the heavy iron Kasye set the bug back on its wheels and literary, poetically kicked its front with her foot

Ks-after I left the physical world, these machines appeared here! They built stuff here..where, what other tree fell!?

The cube was driving around and beeping. Leafy Citrusses was melting at their conversation!

Ks-it fell because of me, I was screaming!

Lf-you can understand them? Such a cutie!

Ks-"very"!

Rolling her eyes again, Kasye Peach answered sarcastically and continued:

Ks-they have "DME" written on their casing with a number. I call them: "Dream Eating Machines"

Lf-but that's the acronym "DEM", not "DME"!

To that the elf girl didn't care — she picked up a small pistol with wires on the end and aimed it toward the tracks, pressing the trigger several times. As if falling from the sky, that trolley appeared on the tracks with a metallic clang! Before these two fools could blink the cube‑like robot was already sitting on the tracks in front of the trolley.

Ks-want to come with me to fix things?

Bunny gladly agreed and both girls quickly jumped into the damn trolley. Incredible feelings — riding through the jungle trees while the wind blew hard in their faces! The sun reflected off the leaves, shadows flickered before their eyes at high speed. More happiness than at an amusement park — with a complete absence of safety...

***

Kenji was about to visit his girl's grave again when his father arrived to pick up some flowers and old things. Before the father could even ask his son for anything, the son in a skirt had already slipped away under his father's words:

Kn-Kenji..can you help here..Do I have a son or a daughter, I can't tell!

Coming back shortly after — already in pants, having changed out of the skirt somewhere in the bushes, he helped his father load things, since the old man was planning to go die at the cold village home. Carrying the gramophone with both hands pressing it against himself, he looked down at it. Kenji noticed that the piece holding the needle to the record looked very much like the one he'd found at Kasye Peach's grave. Exactly the same little piece of wood, curved just from darker wood. The thought was quick in his head — he just understood that it was so. That evening, he couldn't find that object — thought it had rolled somewhere. Before bed, he applied thick cream to his legs remembering how he'd applied it to his girl's legs. The first time he'd applied it, they were covered in calluses and scrapes — it was strong confirmation of her stories about the Jungle and how she roamed among the trees. He remembered the childishness of this girl — how she asked him where he supposedly got such thick cream. When he wanted to answer that he bought it at a store he didn't bother explaining to a girl from the Jungle what stores were, but briefly answered that such things fall from the sky..

A notification came — Leafy wrote: "Did you teach her to smoke?" He didn't answer that, but went to her profile and started looking at Bunny's girl photos — and there were many, very many of them. Ordinary selfies in the style of "eating beautiful food at a restaurant, look at me". Photos where she sat with her back to the camera, looking at the sunset and many similar ones. Scrolling through, he accidentally paused on several photos where Bunny girl was in a flowery bikini. He scrolled through them noticeably slower than the others, but quickly realized he didn't want to look at that anymore, so he went to sleep. He still sleeps under a pile of plaids instead of one plaid, probably choosing the least dirty one each time. The pillow was the one Kasye Peach had slept on — soft and truly cotton, cool. So that's why that peach‑haired elf girl passionately hugged this giant feather pillow every time!

He didn't expect to see anything in his dream. He didn't expect to get an answer — but it was so pleasant to sleep on that pillow, trying to hug it the way his girl did, pulling the edge of the blanket right over his ear, the way his girl also did. Warm. A slightly cool breeze blew on his face. The smell of plants, flowers and that coolness — like freedom. He'd been here before, but was it always like this..? Had he always been a little shorter than usual, weaker and..younger?

How unexpectedly the elf girl jumped down from the vine. How free she was in her world of Arcades. Of course she was scared — she didn't want rudeness again; it all felt like an attack on her world, on the most precious thing she had. The beige columns forming the arches stood thanks to her strongest spirit — sometimes they cracked, and how painful it was for her when the beige columns cracked. Massive, tall jungle trees covered with hanging vines, had grown through the rocky soil. Through the stone desert, such a huge amount of green grass, flowers and towering trees with such strong massive trunks had sprouted. There was nothing here but smooth gray stone and now rivers filled with her tears flow through it.

Living in a world under her own commands, Kasye met someone she never expected to see. It was a cute little boy, a little older than the one in the child photo dispute she'd kept from him. Red‑haired and in big black glasses — his eyes were so wise examining everything around, just as dark as the fair‑haired elf's own. He looked like he'd recently turned a hundred years old. All the harshness instantly vanished from her chest — this guy really looked defenseless. Little Kenji was examining his wrists, probably surprised that they were still clean and young, without so many scars that he had as an adult.

Ks-Kenji, what are you looking at?

She decided to ask in her soft voice. Hearing his name, he lifted his head and had to lift it a little higher because his gaze stopped at her chest. Kasya sat down and he sat down too on the soft grass. Before she could ask anything else, this little scoundrel pushed her onto the grass and began carefully studying her thighs. There were scars on them — traces of deep cuts he had made. He took a deep breath, whether from the awkwardness of his inner child attacking so openly at their first meeting or from the realization that this girl would now always carry his scars. She said:

Ks-ayy, even as a child you're such a rude one!

Kj-I'm sorry..

Hanging his head, the boy apologized. Even his voice sounded younger! His palms were so small, even surprising for himself — that they wouldn't have fit three times across the width of her thighs! It was awkward!

Ks-it's still me — just far away from you now..

Her voice continued to sound soft. The boy didn't know what to answer, so he just stared at the grass he was sitting on, out of embarrassment. A cool wind blew, ruffling the hair of both characters...

Ks-I still remember how you told me when we first met that the nights were going cold..here the wind has gotten a little colder too.

Kj-I remembered..I'm in the body of when I tried to kill myself..standing in the bathroom, over the sink, cutting my hands. My father came in and..was angry. I stained the cold tiles. I washed it off afterwards with my bloody hands..all of it.

He kept examining the blades of grass, not lifting his head at all hiding his reddened face, tears streaming down it behind his red hair.

Ks-you stayed alive in the end — went through that difficult path. You must have been able to meet those moments that make you keep living even now. You're very smart — you can use your knowledge for good.

A dry "uh‑huh" was her answer — because those words don't work, nothing works that pain doesn't fade. Kasye Peach wasn't finished:

Ks-you're such a cute, smart boy...

She sighed softly and unexpectedly kissed him on the cheek. The world froze before him or maybe fell apart; it was now hard even to sit. He just lay down on the soft green grass and burst into tears. Now he was just a frightened child who had finally found his way home. He was used to feeling like a monster, rotten, terrible but no one had ever called him a sweet boy so sincerely. He heard it for the first time in his damn dirty life — from the very one he'd been cruel to for so long, from the one who would now carry his scars for the rest of her life. This mercy hurt worse than any knife. Remorse was the most unbearable torture. His brain soaked in rudeness, begged her to cut him open alive herself, the way he'd wanted to cut her on the surgical table, wanted to go through all the tortures, the examinations he'd subjected her to in a harsher way. But she had forgiven him once again.

Ks-you're so broken..I mean, I've never met anyone like you. So..strong — you're still standing on your feet.

Kj-that's enough!

Inside the guy was falling apart, it was unbearable to hear her voice, unbearable to understand that he'd tormented her and now she just carried the scars..made by him.

Ks-I can love the one who still took care of me. You helped me, you fed me..I took a bath in warm water, slept under a warm blanket.

Kj-I am a scumbag! I couldn't even apologize once! Admit that I'm a complete piece of trash! At least try to hold myself back — not to torment! There's something wrong with my head, I'm a complete freak in my mind, I hate myself my whole rotten life!!

Jumping up abruptly, he started yelling at her but she just looked at him with such deep understanding, the kind no one had ever looked at him with. Under the boy's heavy breathing, the peach colored elf girl only said:

Ks-I won't bite the hand that fed me, but I won't keep licking the boots that kicked me either.

And the angry little boy collapsed right there. He just wanted to lie down and cry, but he didn't even have the strength for tears — or maybe he was so ashamed that they got stuck in his throat like a lump. Under Kasye Peach's languid breathing, she continued:

Ks-you're learning to walk, only now on your own without me. Tell me, how are things with you..?

Lifting his head, he met her gaze — but of course first with her flat chest. His eyes were full of interest, his mouth slightly open.

Kj-in studying.. I continued. Father temporarily went to the village home. Half studying, half working.

She sighed and answered:

Ks-no matter what happens, you're still you. Wherever you find yourself regardless of anything — enjoy the simple things. What's your favorite food?

Kj-lately I've been craving something fatty.

Ks-you begin to feel taste of food!! I'm so glad — you're getting happier and happier.

And believing the last part became a little bit possible — he wanted to watch the rain and listen to the thunder. Alone, in silence. Her strength remained..remained next to him. Kasya took off the last red ribbon from herself.

Kj-tell me..one last question.

Ks-yes :) ?

Getting up from the green grass they began walking along the asphalt road. The girl, with joy and curiosity was ready to hear how Kenji was doing.

Kj-why did you leave?

Tilting her head and formulating her answer, she didn't speak right away:

Ks-I..broke...your rule. I didn't keep quiet, I ran away and I told too much.

Kj-I would have forgiven you!

Ks-I wouldn't have accepted myself with you!

Kj-even if you were taken by force and forced!?

Ks-a doll should stay home and keep quiet.

After challenging each other the red‑haired boy rolled his eyes, knelt in front of her legs which seemed tall to him. He kissed the deepest scar — the one he himself had made — and vanished, evaporating into the air.

Continuing to walk slowly, a cool breeze blew in her face swaying the foliage around. The beige buildings continued to crumble and the evening sunbeams cast bright gradients on the leaves and grass. My physical body exists again, somewhere out there across universes and time. I wonder how much more I can grow...

The End♡

Thank you for any attention♡