A Pervy Knight? The Cat and the Helm!

Aldric had learned two things during his journey with Princess Elena. First, traveling was exhausting, and second, princesses complained. A lot.

“How much longer.”

Aldric sat outside the bathhouse door of the small inn, his back against the wall and his grandfather’s sword resting across his lap.

“Not much longer!” Elena shouted from inside.

“You said that twenty minutes ago!”

“I was mistaken!”

Aldric sighed. They had spent the previous day traveling toward the port on the opposite side of the island. By sunset, they had found the small roadside inn and decided to spend the night rather than continue through the mountains in the darkness. Aldric thought it had been a good idea. He had been wrong.

“Hurry up!”

“I am not hurrying!” Elena shouted back.

“You’re so slow!”

“Don’t you know a lady has needs?”

There was a long pause

“The need to be clean!”

“Oh.”

Aldric leaned his head against the wall as Elena continued from behind the door.

“I haven’t bathed in days! This warm water feels like the heavens themselves! I can finally wash away all the stress and grime of sea travel!”

Aldric glanced down at himself. He supposed he probably needed a bath too.

“Plus,” Elena continued, “it feels like we’ve been on the road forever! We can handle a little rest.”

“We’ve been traveling for a day.”

“Exaclty!”

“That’s not forever.”

“It feels like forever!”

Aldric sighed. “We’d reach the port sooner if you didn’t complain all the time.”

“I am a princess.”

“That doesn’t make you faster.”

“It makes me important!”

“Important people can still walk faster.”

“Go away!”

“I’m sitting outside the door!”

“I know!”

Aldric crossed his arms. Girls were strange. They needed baths, fancy clothes, complained about walking, complained about food. She complained when he didn’t complain. He wondered if his grandmother had been like that when she was young. Probably not, his grandmother was tough she could probably walk across the island without stopping. She had once lifted a sack of grain that Aldric had struggled to carry.

Maybe Elena just needed more practice. He looked toward the bathroom door then back toward the window then toward.

“What I really need is to stretch my legs.”

Outside the inn, the afternoon sun had begun to sink behind the mountains. Aldric drew his grandfather's sword. The blade gleamed for a moment, he simply stared at it. It still felt strange holding a real sword. Yesterday, he had been a village boy practicing with sticks now he carried the weapon of a knight. His grandfather's weapon. Aldric tightened his grip.

"Alright."

He took his stance. One step, a horizontal slash, the blade struck the trunk of a small tree.

THWACK!

A chunk of bark flew through the air. Aldric grinned.

"That worked!"

He swung again. The blade cut deeper. Again. And again. Soon the small tree groaned and with one final strike—

CRACK!

The tree split and collapsed into the grass.

Aldric stared at it.

"...Grandpa would probably tell me not to cut down trees." He scratched his head.

"Sorry."

He turned toward an imaginary opponent. His feet shifted and he thrust forward.

"Ha!"

A slash. A block. A step to the side. A counterattack. He imagined a knight charging him with a shield Aldric ducked beneath the imaginary sword, spun, and struck upward.

"Got you!"

He stepped backward. Another opponent. Then another.

His movements were rough, but they were beginning to develop rhythm. His grandmother had taught him the basics for years—how to stand, how to move, how to keep his balance, how to strike without overextending, he still had much to learn but Aldric could feel something changing. For the first time, the sword didn't feel like something he was borrowing, it felt like his.

He spun the blade, swept through the air and nearly struck something blue.

"HEY!"

Aldric froze and a small creature jumped from a nearby boulder.

"What are you doing?!"

Aldric stumbled backward. The creature glared at him and Aldric stared back. It was a cat. A very strange cat. Its fur was blue, with streaks that seemed to shimmer like flames beneath the sunlight and it had two tails. Aldric pointed his sword at it.

"You can talk!"

"Obviously." The cat flicked one of its tails.

"What else would I be?"

"A talking cat!"

"Yes."

"That's not normal!"

"Neither is waving a sword around near innocent animals."

"I didn't know you were there!"

"Clearly."

Aldric lowered the sword.

"Are you some kind of monster?"

The cat's eyes narrowed. "I'm a cat."

"You have two tails."

"Yes."

"And blue fur."

"Yes."

"And you talk."

"Yes."

Aldric nodded slowly.

"So..."

He pointed at it.

"You're definitely a monster."

The cat groaned. "Why do humans always make everything so complicated?"

Before Aldric could answer, the inn door opened. Elena stepped outside, still drying her hair with a pair of towels.

"I heard shouting. I know children can be loud, but still—"

She stopped. Aldric stood with his sword drawn. A blue, two-tailed cat stood on a boulder. The cat looked at Elena.

"Hello."

Silence. Elena blinked, Aldric looked between them, then Elena screamed.

"WHY IS THE CAT TALKING?!"

The cat covered its ears.

"Ow!"

Aldric shouted as well.

"I TOLD YOU!"

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"

"I WAS ABOUT TO!"

"WHY IS THERE A TALKING CAT?!"

The cat sighed. "I understand your surprise, but I could really use your help."

Elena stared.

"With what?"

"Well..."

The cat pointed one paw toward Aldric.

"Specifically, the boy with the sword."

Aldric looked behind himself.

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"What do you need?"

The cat sighed.

"I took a helmet from my friend as a prank."

Elena slowly lowered the towel.

"You stole something?"

"I borrowed it."

"You just said you took it."

"I borrowed it without permission."

"That's stealing."

"Details."

The cat continued.

"I stopped to hunt for some food, and while I was distracted, a group of bandits took it."

Aldric immediately tightened his grip around his sword.

"Where?"

"Not far."

Elena immediately shook her head."No."

Aldric looked at her. "No?"

"We are going to the port."

"Yes."

"So we're not chasing after a cat's stolen helmet."

The cat looked offended.

"It's not just any helmet."

"What makes it special?"

"It's my friend's."

Elena stared.

"That is somehow less convincing."

The cat sighed. "Please."

Aldric looked toward the road. Then toward Elena. Then toward the cat.

He smiled.

"Let's go."

Elena's eyes widened.

"No!"

Too late.

Aldric was already walking.

"Aldric!"

"Come on!"

"I said no!"

"You said no."

"Yes!"

"And I said come on."

"That doesn't make it better!"

The cat followed as Elena stood groaning.

"I have only known you for a day."

"Exactly!"

"That is not reassuring!"

The bandits had made camp beneath a rocky outcropping a short distance from the road. There were six of them. Aldric crouched behind a bush with Elena and the cat.

Elena whispered. "There are six."

Aldric nodded.

"Six."

"We should sneak around them."

"Why?"

"Because there are six bandits and only one of us who can fight!"

"I can count."

"They have weapons."

"I have a sword."

"They're bandits."

"Exactly."

Elena stared at him. The cat slowly turned toward her.

"The boy isn't too bright, is he?"

Elena sighed. "As I said I haven't known him very long."

Aldric stood.

"Hey!"

Everyone in the camp turned. Elena's eyes widened.

"Aldric!"

The largest bandit stood.

"Who are you?"

Aldric pointed toward the helmet sitting beside their supplies.

"Give that back."

The bandits laughed and the one who appeared to be the leader rose to his feet.

"You think you're going to take it from us?"

"Yes."

The man laughed harder.

"You're a fool."

He charged. Aldric moved. The first strike came toward his shoulder Aldric stepped aside and the sword passed through empty air. Before the bandit could recover, Aldric struck the flat of his blade against the man's stomach.

THUD!

The bandit collapsed. The others stared. Aldric blinked in surprise.

"Was that it?"

Three more rushed him. He ducked beneath one blade. Blocked another then spun and his sword flashed. Weapons flew from the bandits' hands and one stumbled backward. Another fell into the dirt. The last tried to run and Aldric chased him down.

"Wait!"

The bandit turned. Aldric struck the ground in front of him and the man froze.

Aldric smiled.

"You dropped something."

He pointed toward the helmet. The bandit stared at him. Then ran away.

The leader who had recovered while Aldric was fighting the other bandits charged from behind. Aldric turned and their weapons collided.

CLANG!

The leader was enormous compared to him, he had to be twice Aldric's weight. The man pushed forward and Aldric's feet slid backward. Elena covered her mouth.

"Aldric!"

The boy gritted his teeth.

The leader laughed.

"You're strong for a little runt."

Aldric's eyes narrowed. "I'm not a runt." He pushed back.

The man's smile disappeared. Aldric forced him backward. One step. Two. Three. Then Aldric twisted his sword against the man's weapon and the bandit's sword flew from his hands. Aldric stopped his blade inches from the man's face. The entire camp went silent. Aldric lowered the sword.

"Give me the helmet."

The leader slowly pointed toward it. "Take it."

Aldric did.

The cat immediately rushed forward.

"My helmet!"

It grabbed the helmet in its mouth.

Aldric smiled.

"There."

The cat looked pleased. "Thank you."

Aldric turned.

"Come on, Elena."

Elena remained standing with her arms crossed.

"Wait."

Aldric stopped.

She pointed toward the cat.

"You should reward him."

Aldric looked confused at Elena. "Reward me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because he helped you."

"He got your helmet back."

"That's not the point."

The cat nodded thoughtfully.

"She's right."

Aldric sighed.

"Fine." The cat scratched its chin.

"Unfortunately, I have nothing to give you."

Elena raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing?"

"Not at the moment." The cat looked down the road. "But..." It smiled. "Stay here."

Aldric blinked.

"Why?"

"I'll fetch my friend."

They waited. And waited. Aldric sat against a tree and Elena paced. The cat had disappeared into the forest and Elena had doubted he would ever return.

"How long does it take to find a friend?" Elena asked.

"I don't know."

"Perhaps we've been tricked."

"I don't think so."

"Why?"

"Because he talks."

Elena stared at him. "That isn't reassuring."

Aldric heard something. A deep rumble and the ground trembled.

"What was that?" Aldric asked, scanning the area.

The trees shook. Then something enormous emerged from the forest Aldric's mouth fell open, the blue cat had returned. Except… It wasn't small anymore, it was enormous. Large enough for a full-grown man to stand comfortably upon its back.

Aldric's eyes widened. "Wow!"

The cat grinned.

"Mister!"

Aldric pointed.

"You've grown!"

The creature's voice was deeper now.

"This is my true form."

The blue fur that had merely resembled flames before now burned with actual blue fire.

Aldric's jaw dropped. "That's amazing!"

Elena stared. "I don't even know what to say."

A man sat atop the enormous creature. He appeared middle-aged, with long white hair flowing down his back. His black eyes were sharp and strangely calm, while several thin markings along his cheeks resembled whiskers. He looked wise and powerful. Aldric could sense something about him, something he couldn't explain. Strength. The man leaped down effortlessly walking toward them. Then immediately noticed Elena. His eyes widened.

"My!"

Before Elena could react, he hurried toward her, took her hand, and bowed dramatically.

"What a lovely young lady."

Elena's face reddened. "Excuse me?"

"My apologies."

The man straightened. "I simply wasn't expecting such refined and dare I say bountiful company." The man said, staring directly at Elena’s chest.

"You must forgive a traveler his enthusiasm."

Elena yanked her hand away. "You are incredibly rude!"

She slapped him.

SMACK!

The man froze before clearing his throat.

"...Ahem."

"Perhaps I should have introduced myself first." The man stated straightening his robes

Elena folded her arms.

"I am Princess Elena of the Kingdom of Lumière."

The man's expression changed.

"A princess and a voluptuous one at that ?" He looked toward the cat and pointed at Aldric. "Is this the boy who helped you, old friend?"

The giant cat nodded.

"Yes."

The man turned toward Aldric.

"Then it seems you do deserve a reward for returning my friend's helm."

His eyes traveled over Aldric.

Then stopped at the sword.

"That is a mighty fine blade."

Aldric looked down.

"It was my grandfather's."

"You must be a knight of good worth."

Aldric shook his head. "I'm not a knight."

The man's eyebrows rose. "You're not?"

"Not yet."

Aldric smiled.

"But I plan to be."

He placed his hand against the sword.

"I'm on my first quest."

The man burst into laughter. "Not a knight, but already on your first quest?" He wiped a tear from his eye.

"And you have no animal companion?"

Aldric looked confused.

"Animal companion?"

The man shook his head.

"You really have thrown yourself up a creek."

Elena crossed her arms.

"I don't like the sound of this."

The cat chuckled.

"Don't worry."

The old man gestured toward Aldric.

"Come."

Aldric sat beside him.

The man placed his hands together.

"Follow my lead."

Aldric copied him.

The man closed his eyes.

"I'll share some of my mana with you. It should help compensate for your lack of formal training."

Elena stepped forward.

"Wait."

The cat raised a paw.

"It's alright."

The man smiled.

"I'm merely giving him his reward."

Aldric looked at the old man.

"What do I do?"

"Clap your hands together."

Aldric did and the man shouted:

"Animal Summon!"

He placed his palm against the ground Aldric copied him the earth beneath his hand suddenly lit up and strange symbols appeared as the light grew brighter. Then—

Nothing. Silence.

Aldric looked around.

"...Did I do it wrong?"

The man stood.

"No."

He brushed off his robes.

"That should do it."

Elena stared at him.

"Hey!"

The man looked toward her.

"What's the big idea, you perv?"

"Wait."

"What?"

"Just wait."

A rustling came from the bushes. Aldric turned and something crawled through the grass.

Then—

"ROOOOOAR!"

Aldric jumped and Elena screamed.

A tiny dragon stumbled out of the bushes. It was much smaller than the dragons described in legends and it had no wings, its scales were still soft and youthful, but it looked just barely big enough to ride. It looked around curiously then it sniffed Aldric.

Aldric stared.

The dragon sniffed again.

"Hello."

The dragon sneezed.

Aldric grinned.

"He's perfect!"

The old man laughed.

"There you are."

He pointed toward the creature.

"Now you have an animal companion, like any proper knight."

He glanced at Aldric.

"Though you aren't one yet."

Aldric carefully reached toward the dragon.

"He'll grow?"

"In time." The man answered.

"And he'll fly?"

"If he develops properly."

Aldric's eyes widened. "I have a dragon!"

The man smiled. "What a companion you've summoned."

He climbed onto the enormous blue cat.

"With that, my debt is paid."

The cat turned.

"Come along."

The enormous creature began trotting down the road.

Aldric waved.

"Thank you!"

The old man waved back.

"Good luck on your quest, young swordsman."

Soon, both disappeared beyond the trees.

Elena looked at the dragon as it sniffed her.

She took a cautious step backward. "I don't know about this."

Aldric was already climbing onto its back.

"What do you mean?"

"I think that old man might have been a crackpot."

Aldric grinned.

"He gave me a dragon!"

"That's not a reason to trust him!"

Aldric laughed.

"Yippee!"

The dragon took a few uncertain steps.

"I have a dragon!"

Elena stared at him.

"How can you be so cavalier about this?!"

Aldric reached down his hand.

"Come on!"

She stared at his hand then at the dragon then back at Aldric.

"This is madness."

"Probably."

She sighed.

"Fine."

Elena reluctantly took his hand Aldric pulled her onto the dragon's back The creature began walking down the road as Elena held tightly to Aldric's shoulder.

"I cannot believe this."

Aldric grinned.

"I can."

He looked down at his grandfather's sword. Yesterday, he had left his village carrying a weapon. Today, he had defeated bandits, met a talking cat, encountered a mysterious old man, and somehow acquired a dragon.

He smiled.

Maybe…

This was what being a knight was supposed to be like, and for the first time Aldric couldn't wait to find out what would happen next.