Alcohol is the Devil

“Haven’t you heard? Today’s finally the day!”

“Seriously? So soon?”

“Well yeah, no matter who you are, the law’s the law. Plus, it’s actually better this way. If things dragged on for too long, we’d still be as bored as we’ve been since the late king took over.”

“Oh gods, there you go spouting that nonsense again. Tubie, what is wrong with you? You can’t appreciate living in peace?”

“To hell with peace! Do you have any idea how insufferable my life has been for the past twenty years?! I can’t even cut up a chicken without having people start preaching about some fairness and equality crap!”

“Tch! Hey barkeep, give me another one.”

“We are warriors! We are men! We were born to chase glory! So unless you want them to be cut off, grab your balls and start swinging them around like the rest of us, Mekenna!!”

“Sit down, you tribalist idiot! I hear you just fine!...Besides, this isn’t a matter of glory and honor. I can hack down another man as always. The issue…is who gives the order.”

“Ahhh, so that’s it. You’re still not happy about last month’s raid?”

“Why would anybody be happy about it?! I had friends there! Family, even! And I was forced to kill all of them!”

“Hmmm…What was that place called again? Eastern kingdoms always have some weird pronunciations.”

“You think others don’t say the same about us?”

“HAH! I dare them to! Don’t forget, we're the standard!!”

“No. We’re their oppressors.”

“Mekenna, my brother, you’re really going to have to get used to this again. Twenty years of peace has clearly made you overly soft.”

“…I’m going to retire.”

“WHAT?!”

“I don’t have any desire to serve the new ruler! Last month’s raid was enough for me to realize that!”

“Listen, I know you had ties to that place, but their king was foolish enough to reject the new tax system. I heard they even declared war against us for it…hahahahaha. Can you believe that? Against us?”

“It’s really not that funny, Tubie. The new tax system would have robbed over half of their citizens from being able to survive the winter.”

“Then they should just bear through it, like us…”

“We don’t even have a winter!”

“Hahahaha! That’s true! Well, if you think about it like that, then it’s like we saved them from their trouble, right?!”

“...what?”

“I’m saying, those fish freaks ought to count their lucky stars! Hahahaha! Because of our benevolent new ruler, they went from having to see half of their people die from starvation, to all of them meeting the same fate! Hahahahaha!! It’s a beautiful point when you really think about-”

…thud!

Mekenna stares blankly at the headless body of his friend Tubie, as Tubie's head falls cleanly to the wooden floor.

“Mekenna…was it?”

Mekenna slowly lowers his vision down towards the bloody katana aimed directly at his Adam’s Apple, before slowly raising it to meet the gaze of a foreign lady wearing an oni mask. The lady flips the katana sharply to the opposite side, ridding the blood off from the sword .

“You appear to be a member of the Eydo king’s elite band of soldiers…the Chenzira.”

Mekenna freaks out and jumps back.

“Invader! Everyone! Call the guards at once!” he screams, while moving to grab his spear.

In a mere instant, before Mekenna could grab his spear, the bar emits a thunderous sound of hellish screams, accompanied by a thick downpour of blood. In between Mekenna’s hand and his spear remains a demon child, pouting profusely towards Mekenna, who is now frozen in place.

“You and your friend were talking real big. Perhaps it’s what happens when old men drink too much.”

Mekenna gulps loudly, and his body shakes intensely. The foreign lady sighs, before taking off her mask and fixing it to the side of her head.

“Look at me.”

Mekenna begins to sweat. The demon child begins to glare towards him.

“I won’t repeat myself.”

Mekenna slowly turns around, but is only left wishing he hadn’t.

Behind the foreign lady stands multiple large oni, in the spots where each of the other customers occupying the bar had been. Soaked in blood, the oni begin to slowly lick the content surrounding their skin, as if to savor the taste.

Mekenna begins to age at an alarming rate, going from a healthy 40 year old man to a 75 year old toothpick in mere seconds. His body shakes, and his teeth tremble.

“...P-P-P-Priestess Kimiko!…i-i-it’s really you!” His decrepit voice barely manages to spurt out. “I-I-I heard you had d-d-died with your father in the raid!”

Kimiko grabs the aging man’s throat before he can manage to slip into the afterlife peacefully.

“You showed sympathy for my homeland…so I’ll spare you, if not at least for the few seconds you have left.”

Mekenna’s aging stops briefly, but he already has the look of a 100 year old man.

“But I have one question that you will answer.”

Mekenna’s eyes blink slowly and painfully, allowing him to realize that his answer will surely be his dying breath.

“...where…is your KING?!”