Chapter 13

Aase put an arm around me, and Havan said,

“There’s no rush to decide yet. There is a lot we don’t know.”

That seemed to have broken the spell, because Ifrim turned his gaze away and Kine got up to put on tea. I knew they were only trying to find a way to take down the Council in Tovira, but none of this was as easy as they made it out to be. Neither the Council nor the Worms would be a simple defeat, and despite what Ifrim thought, I wasn't the Guardian he wanted me to be.

Havan stayed for a bit longer, discussing the latest news until he bid us goodnight and left. Aase pulled at my hand, and I got up and followed her to our room.

“I’m sorry about Ifrim,” she said.

I shrugged.

“I understand he wants to defeat them, but it isn’t that easy.”

She lay down, and I snuggled up against her.

“I just don’t want to lose you again,” she whispered.

“Me neither…”

I reached out and hesitantly touched her eyepatch.

“What happened to you when I was gone?”

She sighed and pulled me closer.

“When the Council came to Naria, I ran to the temple to try to find you. The Companions tried to stop everyone from going inside, but I found a way in anyway… I’d promised to protect you…"

I shivered.

“They hurt you…?”

“We hurt each other…"

She tried to smile.

“Tore found me once the Spectres flooded the town, and we escaped with Kine. His Griffi got hurt, but we managed to reach Kalla, and we stayed there until Aegon landed in the village one day."

I rested my head on her chest. Maybe I was unfair to them. It hadn’t been easy for them in the time I had been gone, and who could blame them for wanting to take down the ones who had caused so much hurt? But that didn’t mean I knew how to help them.

"I could try to heal you," I murmured.

She released her hold and stared at me.

“No, Silje, don’t even think about it. It’s too dangerous."

“But…”

“No, what if it infects you and you’ll turn into a Monster?”

She pulled me close again, and I knew it was futile to try to convince her.

She had already left the bed when I woke up the next morning. I dressed and got out into the kitchen. There was only Kine sitting by the table, everyone else seemed to be out. He nodded a good morning when the door suddenly opened and Yorun stepped inside. He froze when he saw me and then hesitantly bowed his head.

“Guardian, please… Would you… Could…could you hold a Remembrance for my uncle?”

He fiddled with his sleeve, staring down at the floor, and I tried to come up with something to say. Remembrance ceremonies were supposed to be held within your family or by the village elder. Even Auntie had never held these ceremonies unless she knew the person well.

“I…”

I wanted to tell him he should find someone else, but the words stuck in my throat. Maybe he’d come to me because his elders were gone…? I hesitantly stepped over to him and took his hand, and he followed me outside. I found a quiet place behind the houses overlooking the cliff and sat down, and he sat down next to me, nervously glancing in my direction.

“Tell me about him…” I tried.

He took a deep breath.

“He worked as a road builder in Akkadia. We’d arrived there after our Guardian handed over the Crystal to the Council.”

He glanced at me.

“We… My clan decided to stay on our land at first, our calves were too young for the journey to Akkadia, but then the Monsters came and drove us from our land. We had no other choice but to leave.”

He fell quiet for a moment before continuing.

“I don’t remember much from that journey... But my uncle and I finally reached the city by the time the Rains arrived. The city was full, and we were forced to camp outside its walls and scavenge for any food we could find. People kept arriving, and food became even scarcer. When the Rains passed, the Council wanted to build a large road to the south, and my uncle found work. It…was really dangerous.”

He sniffled.

“The earth slid one day, and a stone slab crushed his legs. He barely survived, and he couldn’t work any longer. I tried to take care of him, but I was young, and the only work I could find was as a chain guard in the caravans… He died when I was away."

He stared at the ground.

“I haven’t had anyone be able to hold the Remembrance ceremony until now."

He sighed, and I put my hand on his shoulder, not knowing what I should say. Even though I knew how a Remembrance ceremony was to be held, all the words that came to me felt empty and devoid of meaning, and I ended up sitting in silence.

“Thank you…” he murmured in the end.

I turned to look at him.

“Talking about him made me remember him. He’s at peace now."

He smiled and gave me an awkward hug before getting up and heading down the path. I sighed and began to get up when Tore came over, sitting down next to me. She gazed at Yorun’s disappearing back.

“Thank you,” she said.

I frowned.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“It means a lot that you take the time.”

She turned to me.

“He hasn’t had an easy life. We found him chained to a waggon when we raided a Council caravan. That was the only work he’d been able to find being so young. The Council does that, low-grade guards who will be an easy target for the Monsters so that the others have a better chance to run and stay safe.”

I shivered.

“He was in Akkadia, but it’s a common practice by the Council in all caravans. They don’t care about the people.”

I shivered, remembering what Stella had said about her friends. Even though I hadn’t officially agreed, I did understand why she wanted to bring down the Council, and I knew I couldn’t back out now. She wouldn’t let go of the thought, and I only hoped they wouldn’t come up with anything stupid.

“Anyway, I believe we will leave soon,” Tore said. “It will be the last mission to supply the surrounding villages before the Rains come.”

She got up.

“Think about it if you want to come. Maybe if we can show them that you’re a Guardian, the rumours will spread to Tovria and convince the people.”

She patted my back and left. Convince the people... It seemed like such a far-fetched plan, but at least that would mean not having to attack the Master directly and risk hurting innocent people. I only wished there was a better plan or that I could help in a better way.

I sighed and got up and began walking back to the house when Ifrim stepped around the corner, and I almost bumped into him. He bowed his head.

“Guardian.”

He locked eyes with me, but fortunately Vessa saved me by landing next to us.

“There you are. I was looking for you. Iris needs help with her ship. She’s decided to make it even better in case we are going to Tovira.”

Ifrim nodded at me.

“Shall we?”

I didn’t know anything about ships, but Vessa gestured for me, and I followed them. She kept chatting about a villager she’d met today, but I barely listened. How could I help them? Even though Nolar had told me how to defeat the Worms, it didn’t mean it was easy. I shivered, remembering the fear that pulsated in the air every time they spoke. It was only thanks to Ifrim and chance that I’d managed to kill the two.

As we came to the stairs, Vessa opened the gate to the lift, gesturing for us to get in. I would rather have climbed the stairs than get into that flimsy cage, but Ifrim stepped inside, and I had no choice but to follow.

“How are you settling in, Guardian?” he asked as Vessa closed the door.

I nodded, but before I had a chance to reply, he continued,

“The people believe in you. You are a beacon of light in these dark times.”

I squirmed. I knew he only meant well, but it was nothing but wishful thinking that I would be able to do anything for them as a Guardian.

“Ifrim…” Vessa sighed.

“I meant no offence, but even so, my words still hold true.”

“I’m not a Guardian,” I murmured.

“Oh, but you are. You’ve killed two Worms.”

I sighed.

“It wasn’t…”

I turned to look at him.

“It was only thanks to you who brought me out of it.”

“And you were the one who gave me the strength to withstand its lies."

He bowed, and I sighed.

“Ifrim, I… I’m not a Guardian, you know it. I’m barely trained.”

For the first time since we met, his expression softened, and he chuckled.

“Would you rather have me say, ‘Someone who has been thrown into the deep end, doubting her every action’?”

I sighed. It wasn’t an accurate description, but I didn’t have time to respond because he put his hand on my shoulder.

“I prefer to see you for who you can become."

He smiled and was about to say something when Vessa gently punched his arm.

“If you ever want her to become who you wish her to be, tell her the whole story...”

I frowned, and he suddenly avoided my gaze.

“He wasn’t always the Dragon he wants you to see now...”

She ruffled his hair.

“She is where you used to be. Don't be ashamed of where you come from. You proved more than enough that you are not that young boy anymore."

He glanced at me and, still staring down at the floor, said,

“I…was chosen as a Keeper for the Crystal at around your age. It was a great honour among my people, and my family believed that I would one day become a Champion and defend it so that my people may continue guarding it. But when the Water dragons and the Council attacked the temple, I... I fled… I was a coward."

At that moment, the lift came to a swinging halt, and Vessa opened the gate, and I followed them out. Ifrim set out ahead of us, and Vessa took to the air, fluttering above us. I glanced at Ifrim’s silent back. Is that why he behaved as he did to me? He didn’t want me to make the same mistake he’d made? At least that explained his behaviour, but I wasn’t sure it was the best way to help.

Iris handed out tools the moment we stepped inside, but just as I’d thought, I wasn’t much of a help. She already seemed to have elaborate plans for how to improve the ship and take down the Council if we were ever to go to Tovira. I watched her talk to Dalor, explaining how the energy output and a new weapon she was working on would make the mission even more efficient. Just like Stella, I knew she wouldn’t give up on the idea, but even so, she did it all without knowing we would ever go there. Or maybe it didn’t even matter, because at least it made her feel like she was doing something.

I sighed. But if that was true, what actions could I take? Auntie had sent me here, but I didn't know what she hoped I would achieve, and even though I had the Crystal, it didn’t help if I didn’t have the skills to use it. I knew Ifrim only wanted to encourage me, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to step up to become a Guardian out of pure will. It was only a fancy title until you had the skills to back it up, and I didn’t.

Not long after, Iris announced that would be enough for today, and I made my way back alone, Ifrim and Vessa staying behind to help her with some other tools. Why had Auntie sent me here? So far, I’d been nothing but a symbol of hope, and that wouldn’t help much against the Council and the Worms without a plan.

I almost collided with Tore when she stepped around the corner. She chuckled, seeing my dirty hands.

“Did Iris force you to help you with her ship?”

I nodded, and she gestured for me to follow her back to the village. They all did the best they could, and in the case of Tovira, even Aase and Tore seemed to have been caught up with the idea that we could bring the Council down. I glanced at her walking ahead of me, humming a tune I didn’t know. I’d told Aase I could try to heal her eye, but that was only because I didn’t want her to be hurt. But what if…? I thought back on Nolar. We could defeat the Worms if we learnt not to be afraid, but every time I’d met them, other people risked being hurt if I’d failed.

“Tore…”

She stopped her humming and turned to me.

“What…?”

I hesitated.

“Do you think you could learn not to be affected by the Worms when you touch the Flow?”

She frowned.

“What are you thinking about?”

I hesitated.

“I could try to heal Aase’s eye. That will not put anyone else in danger, and maybe I could learn how to use it safely?”

She sighed.

“That will be dangerous. What if you fail and it infects you?”

“Maybe… Maybe Ifrim would be willing to help me? He’s stood against the Worms in the past.”

She frowned.

"I'm sure he would, but…”

She sighed.

“I don’t know…”

She gazed out over the valley before turning back to me.

“But then, I don’t think anyone can convince him otherwise once he learns about your idea."

We separated as we came up the stairs, and I made my way back to the house. I could only hope I could convince Aase to do it, and I would ask Ifrim later.

She was sitting by the table as I stepped inside, and she smiled when she saw me.

“Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

She took my hand as I sat down, but she must have felt something was off because she frowned.

“Is everything okay?”

I sighed.

“Aase… I… Let me try to heal your eye.”

She shook her head before I even had time to finish.

“No, it’s too dangerous.”

“But how else am I supposed to learn to touch the Flow safely? We know what Nolar said. The Worms can be defeated if we stop being afraid.”

She frowned.

“And you want to practise on me?”

I nodded.

“I won’t put anyone else in danger, and… I’ll ask Ifrim to help me…”

She fell silent.

“You won’t give up, will you?”

I shook my head, and she fell silent.

“You wouldn’t have either back in the days…”, I said.

She chuckled and turned to me.

“I wouldn’t have, would I?”

She sighed and pulled me close.

“Okay, but promise me you’ll be careful, okay?”

Just as Tore had thought, Ifrim agreed the moment I asked him. Tore also consented to come with us, acting like a guide and taking us to a cave she thought would be good. She never said why she’d chosen that particular place, but we all knew that if anything went wrong, we would not risk the lives of the people in Varja.

She led us up through the steep mountain path that evening, and with every step I started to regret my decision. What if they were right, and this was nothing but a foolish idea that would put everyone at risk? But Ifrim supported it. But… I sighed. I knew he would support anything that meant I would become a Guardian.

It hadn’t been easy to convince the others to stay. The moment I’d told them about my plans, they tried to talk me out of it, and when they realised I wouldn't give in, they switched to saying that they would come with us instead. But Irfim interrupted them, saying that nothing could prepare me for what I planned to attempt.

Tore halted, pointing down the path.

“Follow this, and it will lead you to the cave."

She had decided to stay, so we had at least someone who could guide us home if… I shivered, trying to push the thought away. I shouldn’t be afraid. Wasn’t that what the Worms wanted us to be? I tried to smile and hugged her, and for a moment I never wanted to let go until I hesitantly released her.

“Let’s go…"

Tore disappeared back down the path, and we continued our climb. It didn’t take long until the entrance appeared to our side, and Ifrim lit a crystal lamp as we made our way through the narrow passageway. Once we finally reached the cave, I was trembling, but I tried not to show it and instead plastered on a smile.

Aase gave me a hug and kissed my hair before sitting on the floor.

“I believe in you," Ifrim whispered.

I glanced at him. Was that it…? I could feel my courage fading with every moment, and when Ifrim put his hand on me, I flinched. His deep blue eyes met mine.

“No one is born with courage. You become brave after you face your fears."

I tried to nod, but I wasn’t sure I was able to control my body any longer. He went to stand by the side, and I glanced at Aase, but her eyes stayed closed as she waited for me to start. Aase... She’d looked so cute that night when we danced together for the first time, and her deep emerald eyes, watching my every move, had given me the courage to take her hand and…

I held on to that memory as I reached out and touched the Flow, pouring it into her when the Worm’s voice whispered,

Old wounds don’t heal easily, little one. Shouldn’t you know that, Guardian?

I startled and looked around, but if it was here, I couldn’t see it.

“Y-you lie!” I tried.

We are not like your kind, little one. We see the truth and speak what we see.

“Don’t listen to whatever it’s saying," Ifrim warned.

I took a deep breath and focused on weaving the Flow.

So you will listen to a coward who uses you to regain his honour…

“H-he is not a coward…”

He ran away once. He could do it again… Can you really trust him?

I heard Ifrim take a step into the darkness.

“Show yourself!”

We don’t lie, Silje. Test us if you want...

I hesitated, feeling the Flow pour into Aase.

“W-why did you come to our world?”

To feed on your fear and multiply so our offspring can spread through the worlds as we’ve done for aeons… Your world is not the first one to fall prey to our kind, nor will it be the last…

I shivered, and my hands dropped to the side, and the Flow gave out.

“Silje!”

A bright light flashed in the cave, blinding me for a moment. Someone wrapped their arms around me, and I heard Aase whisper,

“Don’t listen to it…”

I blinked, my eyes slowly adjusting to the light. Ifrim was standing to the side, but apart from us, the cave was empty. Had it never been here? Aase slumped down with a sigh, and the light she’d blasted faded in her hands.

“It…”

“It lied. That’s what it always does," Ifrim frowned.

“He’s right."

I turned to Aase, suddenly remembering why we’d come here.

“Your eye…?”

She slowly removed her eyepatch. I sighed. The scar was smaller but still visible, and her pupil was grey rather than the emerald blue I remembered. She closed her good eye and looked at me.

“I do see you worry too much," she smiled.

“But…”

Ifrim patted my shoulder.

“You did well, Silje…”

He helped Aase to her feet. Lies… Was that what it had told me? But it was right, old wounds are difficult to heal…

We waited, letting Aase gather her strength before leaving the cave and climbing down the steep path. Tore was waiting for us, and she flung her arms around us once she realised we were safe. We didn’t dare to speak much for fear of the Monsters, and she only gestured for us to follow her back. Lies… Was that really what it had told me?