Never Enough

Lavender had been spirited off the jousting field and back into the makeshift changing room where the armor had been conjured onto her. Her gauntlets that Renthorn had ripped off had been placed gently atop her tunic.

After a quick magically-assisted shower to deal with the mud and sweat, Lavender pulled back on all her clothes. It was with putting on the gauntlets that she felt somethunpeing approach. Whatever it was made her hair stand on end.

“Well, well. If it isn’t our victorious knight.”

Standing in the doorway to this small changing room was a rail of a man with short black hair atop and around his head. What offended Lavender’s eyes was his wearing of the Emperor’s royal vestements. His robes, his clothes, everything she remembered her father wearing was on this man instead.

What offended Lavender’s soul was something she hadn’t found words for. His aura, his very presence was both familiar and twisted. A primal instinct in her soul was crying at her to remove his head from his shoulders.

Perhaps this newcomer felt the rush of killing intent or was otherwise disoriented. But after a moment he continued. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Lord-Prince Albert Vallois. Lord of Westeron. That was quite the display you put on out there.”

The ruler of the city her sister had been hiding in for all those years. The very one who’d put the bounty out on her family. Lavender curled her toes in her boots and pressed down on them hard to distract her from how Wrong this man was.

Its effectiveness was limited.

Lavender spoke through grit teeth. “Thank you. …May I ask a question?”

“You may,” said Vallois.

“I was very young when the rebellion happened. What did the Emperor do to deserve to be overthrown?”

Vallois nodded. “He invoked the right of prima nocta. Are you familiar with it?”

She was. Prima nocta – the supposed ‘right’ of a lord to legally have relations with any of his subjects, especially on their wedding night. In all her research, there was no evidence such a thing had ever happened. It would certainly have caused an uproar.

But now Lavender knew the cover story for why the lords had risen up against her father.

“It’s something to shock the soul.” Lavender remembered just enough of how people spoke at court to give an appropriate response. “But even so, was it worth shattering the Dezerin Empire?”

Vallois chewed on his lip. “It was unfortunate but necessary,” he said. “I know it has made some things worse. Though I’m sure the Adventurers’ Guild isn’t complaining in the slightest.”

“We agree then, that the realm was better off with the Empire.” Lavender’s eyes narrowed.

“In some ways.” Vallois chuckled to himself. “But I would expect you to say that, Lavender Weaver.”

The shock of hearing him say her name betrayed any effort at concealing her identity further. Vallois did not need to rub his discovery in her face further.

“If it puts you at ease, I do think the realm should be united once more.” Vallois nodded. “But not by the House of Wea’Vor. Not in the name of the Dezerin Empire.”

When Lavender recovered, she asked the question she’d really wanted to know the answer to. “Even if my father did what you say. What could possibly be worth shattering the realm apart if you believe it’s better off united? Why bother going so hard that you have to kill us?”

The question looked to be one that Vallois had considered for some time. Because his face grew long and tired when he heard it. “The Unspeakable Truth.”

This again! How could there be a rebellion against her father if no one could communicate the true reason?!

Their conversation was interrupted by Dora peeking her head around the corner. She looked like she was sniffing the air, looking confused at both Vallois and Lavender. “Lord-Prince, my father wished to have a word with you.”

Vallois nodded. “A pleasure to finally see you in the flesh, Lavender.” Lavender’s eye twitched until he finally left her be. The arrogance of that man, wearing her father’s things!

Lavender tried to calm herself down when she got surprised for a different reason. When Dora came into the room, she was not wearing that leather armor and tunic. The stockings were gone. Instead, there was a fine white dress with lines of blue ruffle circling its skirt and a bouquet of roses in her hand.

“Dora, what are you doing?”

Dora gave a half-hearted smile. “By the rules of the Princess Knight Brawl, you and I are to be engaged.” She offered Lavender the bouquet. “It’s custom for a lady to offer flowers when beginning courtship.”

Lavender stared at the flowers. She’d never seen so many in one place before. “You didn’t say winning came with this.”

“I’d have told you if I thought you’d win.” Dora rolled her eyes. “All I needed was for you to put up a good showing. My family made me swear an oath when I left home. I could go adventuring until I got engaged. I made them agree that I’d only get engaged if I could find someone who could win a Princess Knight Brawl at a tournament. That’s why they hold this thing every year. And it’s why every year I try to find some functional idiot or lovestruck fool to buy myself time.” She spread her arms and gestured back to Lavender. “And then there’s you. Now I’m trapped.”

That word struck something in Lavender. It was something she knew all too well.

“We’re not doing this,” said Lavender. “We’re not courting. I release you from your oath or whatever. I will not trap you.”

Dora looked to have had a huge weight lifted off her shoulders.

“Besides,” Lavender continued, “love doesn’t exist.”

----

Dora did not know how to take that assertion.

Love didn’t exist? This woman was dumb enough to think she could teach Robert magic. But of all the things she could be a cynic about, love?!

“What do you mean by that?”

“Love isn’t real,” said Lavender. “Not ‘true love’, at least. It’s a hormonal response designed to ensure the propagation of life.”

A hormonal response?! “Are you saying my parents don’t love each other?”

“I’m sure they care for each other. But it’s not love.”

Dora poked her clawed finger hard enough into Lavender to nearly draw blood. “How dare you. Where do you think you get off, saying love doesn’t exist?”

Lavender’s stare grew severe. “Ten years. I waited ten years for true love in the highest peak of the tallest tower. Do you know how many people were willing to risk their lives for mine?” She held up her hand in the sign of a zero. “Even if it does exist, it never will for me. Because I’m not enough. I will never be enough.”

Dora had sent a number of simpletons and children to heartbreak. But what she saw here was something far worse. This one was no ignorant child. She was a broken soul.

Dora did not remember walking away from Lavender or out of that changing room. Her numbness gave way to fury with each step. She was free but at what cost?

Nevermind that, how dare that woman reject her?! No sane person would reject her hand or what came with it. No one said no to the Black Rose!

She quickly found herself outside the jousting ground stands, the crowds finally starting to thin. The makeshift betting board was still there, with a man wearing a patchwork hat was levitating in the air and slowly spinning around. And the person holding the staff casting that spell –

“You said a hundred to one odds!” shouted Hazel. “Now pay up!” With Hazel was Robert and the thing that fully broke Dora’s anger free.

Dora tackled Balerifon to the ground, slamming his head into the ground. “What in the hells did you do to her?” She slammed his head into the ground again. “What did you do?!”

Robert had to peel Dora off of Balerifon, who was still trying to process Dora’s attack.

“‘Love isn’t real’? ‘I’ll never be enough’?! That little display at the Princess Knight Brawl? Not a damn thing about you or her makes sense!” She wormed her way free of Robert’s grasp only to claw him in the face when he pulled her back by her tail. Her nose twitched, adding, “You two even smell alike! What are you guys?!”

A great look of guilt came over Balerifon. He looked at those assembled and sighed. “Tonight at the campfire. I’ll explain on one condition.” His eyes then bore into Dora’s. “You must not tell Lavender.”