How fast can you regret you decisions?

“So if I’m not mistaken, we’re down to five goblins including you. Right Todd?”

“...”

“Todd?”

“Yes My Lady.”

I was keeping track of the remaining enemies, as I did Todd was applying ointment on my wounds. They’re not serious enough for a potion, so I opted for first aid ointment instead. Since I can’t reach my back, and since my maids aren’t around, I entrusted first aid to Todd. I could feel his hands trembling as he applied the medicine. It makes sense, I threatened to destroy him if he tried anything funny with my body. The ointment tingled as it covered my wounds, good that means it's working. Admittedly my gown was ruined after the last confrontation, I even had to tear through it so Todd could cover my wound properly. With the wound dressing done, I took some of the torn gown fabric and created a makeshift top. Combined with my pink and red tinted blood skirt, I looked like some tribal warrior. I put on some mud war paint and fashioned a stone spear. I then stood near a torch and posed, I was officially a female barbarian.

“What are you doing My Lady?”

“I’m playing dress up to alleviate my stress, don’t judge me.”

“Oh, don’t mind me.”

Todd stared away from me, like I was some kind of strange insect. I wanted to throttle his head in, but now’s not the time. I need him to guide me, and something tells me the remaining few goblins are gonna be tricky. Thinking like this reminded me of what just happened, I nervously looked towards the wrecked storage room. Both the bodies were charred and breaking down into burnt ash. I made a sigh of relief, only to kick over the nearest bottle of sawdust. Dammit, these goblins are starting to terrify me. Bastards, how dare they do this to me, what’s worse is that my experience bar still hasn’t budged.

“What the f***, will it take for you to move?”

“Huh?!? Am I going to slow My Lady?”

“Not you Todd, let’s just go.”

If the recent encounter taught me anything, it’s that I need to carry myself with extreme caution. I assumed these bastards would be weak because they were goblins, boy was I wrong. I understand now why Slayer-san spent years learning how to deal with them. Even ants can bare fangs, and even slimes can be dangerous if you're not careful. So since danger doesn’t matter and distance doesn’t matter, then maybe trying a new weapon will make a difference.

****

Me and Todd made our way down the hall, but as soon as we noticed we were approaching two goblins, we hid behind some crates. Todd looked at me nervously as I prepared my newest plan.

“Uh, Lady Opera? Do you know what you’re doing with those?”

Todd motioned to the crossbows I was loading.

“Yes, they should be no different from the toys I used to play with as a kid.”

“Toys? My Lady, those are real weapons. One false move and you’ll shoot your eye out.”

“So you’re saying you want to help me with target practice?”

Todd began nodding his head no, with some added effort my two visible crossbows were loaded. I began to analyze the enemies from behind cover, there were two goblins. They were wearing armor similar to the previous two, meaning they were also members of the five hammers. I loaded the ammo in both the crossbows and told Todd to get their attention. Todd immediately ran to them crying.

“Hans, Cedric, Help Me! This devil woman is trying to kill me!”

The two goblins became aware of my presence, Hans wielded a hand axe and Cedric wore gauntlets. They were close range combatants so this should be easy, or so I thought.

“Be careful, she has crossbows on her.”

The two goblins tensed after receiving the information, I picked up both the loaded crossbows and fired. Hans got shot in his right shoulder, but Cedric was hit square in the head. Hans watched his comrade fall onto his back and started at me with rage. He ran at me foaming from the mouth, in a panic I frantically reloaded the crossbow. I fired a shot into his left knee and he still came toward me. He was getting too close, I threw my crossbow at him and tried to retreat. In response he smashed the crossbow in two and jumped up in order to get me with a helm breaker strike. He had a smile on his face at first, but that smile turned to despair when he realized my true objective.

“Jackpot.”

I hid a miniature crossbow in my skirt, one Todd didn’t know about. I shot Hans between his eyes at close range, and stepped out of the way to avoid his falling carcass. Todd’s eyes were filled with horror realizing he led more of his friends to their deaths. He fell on his knees and began screaming. I began walking towards him, only for him to look at me in fear.

“Stay back, don’t you dare come any closer!”

“Todd, calm down.”

“Don’t even speak to me you devil, I should’ve left you to rot. You killed my friends, you heartless bitch.”

I pulled out my knife, and Todd’s rebellion vanished. It was replaced by my favorite color, fear.

“You know Todd, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“Yes…”

“Why the f*** did you tell them about the crossbows?”

Todd began to back away from me, his eyes filled with fear and anguish. I stepped closer to him, now privy to what’s been going on. He’s been too eager drawing attention, there’s no way he pushed over that barrel before by accident, and him snitching about my plan.

“That promise didn’t mean crap, you’ve been trying to use your colleagues to kill me and keep your hands clean. Weren’t you?”

Todd watched me silently, his eyes began darting, as if to look for an exit. I moved closer to him, and Todd began screaming again. His eyes looked like squeezed sponges as they cried the moisture out. He turned himself into a ball in an attempt to hide from his eventual end, well so much for having a tour guide.

“Thank you for your help Todd, if it matters, I thought you were an adorable little helper.”

“Please don’t do this, please I don’t want to die-”

I rose my knife overhead, Todd looked like he wanted to vomit.

“Please My Lady, No My Goddess Opera! Please don’t do this to me!”

“Toodles-”

Before my knife was embedded in his skull, I heard a door open from next to us. I turned my head slowly, only to see a jacked goblin walking out a room.

“Gods, that mystery meat messed me up good. I had to flush two s***s down the toilet.”

He finally turned his gaze to me and Todd, at that moment, all three of us blinked.

“Todd, there should be three goblins left including you right?”

“...yes.”

“Then tell me-”

I pointed my knife towards the newcomer and grabbed Todd by the collar.

“What the actual f*** is that?”

“Well allow me to rephrase, we have twenty goblins in total and one rare case.”

Rare case?

“Uh, hello?”

I looked back at the swole goblin that showed up, and he began to address me.

“Hey little lady, I’m Cletus, leader of the five hammers. Did Todd do something wrong? You look upset? Wait, where’s my team?”

Cletus began looking around for his men, I looked back at Todd and his face carried a smirk. It was a smirk of someone on cloud nine, I immediately realized what he was about to do.

“Oh Cletus-”

“Don’t You F***ing Dare!”

“Huh? What’s up?”

Cletus turned his head toward us, Todd’s smile was sadistic. Oh my god, this guy’s the boss fight isn’t he. I’m about to get my ass beat.