Chapter 16:
The Misadventures of A Self-Aware Princess
“It’s not my fault, it’s not my fault, it’s not my fault, it’s not-”
“Give it a rest Todd, throwing a tantrum won’t fix anything.”
Todd was still busy with his mental breakdown, giving me ample time to finish plotting out my plan. All I have to do is hope that Cletus will go down easy. I picked up the axe Hans was using, and put on my terrified princess act. Cletus sighed seeing how hopeless Todd was being, he then turned to face me.
“Sorry Lass, are you-”
“Ahhh! Stay away!”
With a frightened expression on my face, I pretended to tremble in fear of Cletus. He began looking hurt by my fear of him and walked closer to me. I started backing away, soon I reached my position for phase two.
“N-No, stop-”
“Listen, I’m not trying to hurt you. Let’s get you back to the infirm-”
“I said stop!”
I began flailing with the axe in hand, Cletus’ expression turned pale as he realized how dire the situation was. Right on cue, I released the axe from my hands. The axe went flying, leaving me defenseless.
“N-No, not like this…”
“Please let me help you.”
“Stay away from me!”
I made it seem like I was trying to escape him and ran into the wall. I had to make it look real so I actually ragdolled into it, to add on to the desperation angle I began clawing at the wall. I wanted to look like I was trying to dig my way through, instead my fingernails snapped off. To make it worse my fingers started to turn swollen and red, Cletus saw this and stepped in. He grabbed both my arms and forced me to face him.
“Little Lady, please, you need to calm down.”
“No, you’re gonna eat me! Go Away!”
Cletus was hurt by my words, but it was worth it in the end. He left himself wide open, and I took advantage of that. Time to use my female privilege.
“Crotch Shot!”
“Wha-Gack!”
Cletus immediately dropped me, and began reaching for his family jewels. However, before he could grasp them, he began to stumble and lean. Right now, Cletus was in front of the bathroom and the axe from earlier destroyed the toilet. Cletus is currently slipping and sliding in toilet water. I blew on my hands and balled them into fist, I’ve almost lost feeling in them. Instead of pushing Cletus over I opted to shoulder check him. Cletus went slipping back, and my body rang from the force of impact. This isn’t good, his body was as hard as rock. I need to finish this now, as for Cletus, he ended up in the execution room. He fell over, and to make things better his back was stabbed by the broken toilet bowl. He was stuck, I moved in as he squirmed around in pain. He looked at me with a pained expression.
“Sorry, I must’ve scared you. Please, help me get off this thing. It's so painful, please help me.”
“No.”
Cletus froze hearing my tone, he looked me in the eye and at that moment he knew. He knew I was faking, and that Todd was right. He started trembling as I dumped the sawdust into the air, he began coughing profusely. I could hear him begging me for mercy, but this is just fate. Humans and monsters kill each other. I grabbed the torch and prepped to toss it in, but my plans were foiled.
“I won’t let you She-Bitch!”
Todd pounced on me and started pulling at my hair, I ended up dropping the torch. Before I could pick it up, Todd leaped off me and body slammed it. The torch’s flame was killed on impact, and Todd began breathing heavily. Soon his heavy breathing turned to laughter, and he turned to look at me.
“*Huff huff* Well well well, looks like you lose you-”
I caved his head in with a calf kick, and Todd went rolling into a wall. He picked himself up, holding his hand under his mouth to try to catch his falling teeth. That didn’t stop me, I picked him up by the back of the head and squeezed as hard as I could. He cried out in agony, I gripped so hard my finger wounds bled. Funnily enough, My fingers managed to puncture Todd’s bald head, so now his icky blue blood started coming out. I felt disgusted watching his blood mix with the blood on my fingers, so I did what I do best. I turned my disgust into rage, I took this disgusting display as a blood pact. Yes, with the blood both Todd and I shared that day, I swore an oath. I was going to kick this little bastard’s ass.
I threw Todd like a football, into a pile of crates. I threw him so hard, he smashed the whole stack. Todd came crawling out the wreckage, wood took out his chest and splinters pierced his eyes. He pulled the splinters out and began screaming in agony, but that didn’t stop me. I began stumbling towards him, the pain in my hands giving me a migraine. Todd yelled at me to stay back, he even tried to crawl away from. If only his legs worked, poor poor Todd. I grabbed him by the head again and he begged me to stop, but my anger won in the end. I began smashing his head into the broken crates repeatedly. WIth each smash his screams grew quieter, with each smash the walls grew darker, and with each smash my anger slowly died down. When I was down, Todd was no longer Todd. He was just a corpse without a face. I threw him behind me like a discarded doll and turned back to finish what I started. If only it were that simple, just as I turned around something sharp hit me in the head. I pulled it out only to realize it was toilet seat glass.
My body immediately filled with dread, I looked up to see Cletus standing there with his armor removed. His eyes were white and his mouth wore a scowl, my prior rage held no candle to his.
I felt like I was gonna pass out, so I tried using my same card from before.
“Huh? Where am I?”
Cletus rose a brow as I tried to act like I had no recollection of where I was, then I screamed as loud as I could.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Pain, I’m in so much pain! Why am I so injured? Where are my clothes? What’s going on!?!”
Cletus began to twitch at my insanity play, please for the love of god. Please work! Cletus walked towards me, I was so terrified I started to bite my lip. When he reached me, he pat my head and caressed my hair.
“Sorry Lass, I must’ve frightened ya’. Let’s get you patched up.”
“...You’ll help me, thank you sir. Thank you so-”
Before I could finish, Cletus picked me up by my left arm and snapped it. The pain was delayed, but when it hit I screamed. I wished I was dead, I never thought I’d feel such pain in my life. My voice was becoming raw, no voice came from my throat as I screamed. I looked Cletus in the eye with tears on my face, he once again had that rage filled glare of his.
“In honor of all my brothers you have slain, I’m going to enjoy breaking you.”
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