Of Stew and Other Mysteries, Part 1

“OH GODS. OH GODS! What have I done?”

Milla groaned in a panic, crouched in the pub’s kitchen. A few minutes ago, she had invited Galardos and Gromni for dinner and offered them a room to stay. In other words, she arranged a meeting with a demigod and a veteran adventurer — she, who aside from possessing her own magical abilities, was little more than a village bumpkin.

“Getting cold feet, sweetie?”

Her father, Jund, made no effort to hide the cheeky smile beneath his mustache. In reality, the man was almost as nervous as his daughter, but decades of life experience allowed him to maintain a semblance of composure.

“How could I not? He’s a demigod! What am I supposed to even cook for him?”

Milla was a nervous wreck, perhaps the most jittery her father had ever seen her.

Luckily for her, though, the village elders had intercepted Galardos and Gromni on their way to the pub, asking for a report on the dungeon’s situation. Thus, the latter two were yet to arrive.

“You’ve got a few minutes to collect yourself,” said Jund stroking his chin, “but I’d start boiling some vegetables if I were you. A good stew takes time.”

“Yes, I know that!” Milla barked back, before taking a deep breath to collect herself. “Okay. Okay, I’ve got this. Pull yourself together, Milla, you can do this…”

It was a comforting sight for Jund, seeing how his daughter seemed more preoccupied with serving her guests rather than worrying about the uncertain future ahead of them.

After all, her secret had been outed, and in front of a demigod no less. Yet there she was, prepping herself up for a fine cookout. She slapped her cheeks with both hands and rose to her feet, eyes blazing with determination.

“Pops! You’re on lookout duty. Go outside and have a smoke or something, and let me know when those two show up. I’ll have snacks and drinks ready by the time they’re in.”

“Shouldn’t I help you cut the ingredients? It’s faster if we—”

“No, no no no! You always cut your veggies into giant hunks; I can’t feed them that. Go on, get outside. You’re in the way.”

“Then let me help with the meat! I can season it with—”

“Hell no! Your seasoning is criminal, Pops. Off with you! Chop chop.”

Jund tried to save himself from being exiled into the cold, but it was no use. When Milla was serious about cooking, she didn’t want anyone watching her concentrate, and her father was no exception.

“Oh, fine. Holler if you burn something.”

Reluctantly, he stepped out to the street. Jund had raised the young demigoddess since her infancy, so he knew full well she wouldn’t budge after she made up her mind.

As the old hunter ruffled through his bag for his pipe and smoke leaf, Milla returned to the kitchen, beginning her preparations for a bone broth.

Over the next hour, Milla skillfully prepared the best ingredients she had on hand. The pickings were slim, as usual for late winter, yet she managed to gather a hearty portion of vegetables, salted meat, and a bit of cheese.

As the ingredients reached a rolling boil, Milla left the kitchen and made her way to her room on the second floor, where she kept a precious stash of spices. Given their high cost and rarity out in the boondocks, Milla reserved them for special occasions — but tonight, it was no holds barred.

Yet, while rummaging through the wooden chest filled with her personal belongings, Milla felt an unexpected ripple in the flow of mana around her. It was a subtle change, easily missed by lesser mages, but a decade of training had sharpened Milla’s senses enough to realize it: someone had cast a spell nearby.

A chill ran down her spine as she realized the magic had been activated very close to her; just down in the backyard outside her window. Jund hadn’t mentioned anything about Galardos and Gromni’s arrival, so whoever the caster was, it wasn’t them.

“A demon…”

Milla muttered to herself, recalling the old stories. Powerful magic was said to attract powerful things. Hungry things. If anything dark had been lurking in the forest, it couldn’t have missed the uproar of Milla’s first encounter with Galardos.

Lucky for her, the adventurers were still in town… but the mysterious intruder was right outside. Simply waiting for them wasn’t an option, and even signaling for help could be dangerous.

So, Milla gathered mana to enhance her senses, determined to at least scout the perimeter. If she could identify how many intruders there were and what they looked like, she’d stand a much better chance of defending herself.

“... It’ll be awful if someone finds us out here,” grumbled a coarse, gravelly voice, muffled by a strange sound like running water. “We’re completely exposed, ya know? Are ye sure she won’t come out lookin’ for us?”

Milla’s heart hammered in her chest. It was difficult to tell the voice apart, but whoever was outside wasn’t alone, and they were clearly plotting something.

Then a second voice responded — deep, lethargic, and completely unbothered.

“Shut your trap already. She’s busy inside; she won’t see us here.”

“You wanna bet?” the first voice chuckled. “Women always have an eye for these things.”

Milla clenched her fists, cold sweat forming on her brow. She was clearly the topic of their conversation, but were they planning to break in? Ambush her?

The danger was imminent. She had to act quickly, but going in blind would be too dangerous even for her. She had to risk taking a look, to at least know what she was going up against.

Thus, Milla took a deep breath and dared to peek outside the window.

Then…

Her jaw dropped.

There, casually washing themselves in the cold night, stood Galardos and Gromni in their birthday suits. Water streamed down their toned muscles, shimmering under the moonlight as it would over chiseled sculptures.

Milla struggled to process the absurdity of what she was seeing. Her fear melted into a flurry of shock, embarrassment, and a sudden storm of rosy thoughts.

“I’m telling you, she’s in the kitchen. She…”

Galardos paused mid-sentence. Then, without warning, he tilted his head upward and locked eyes with her.

Milla panicked and ducked away, only to trip and crash to the floor with a dull thud, and in the chaos, she knocked down all the items she had stacked on her nightstand. The loud clatter echoed inside her room, driving the final nail in her dignity’s coffin.

Her cheeks burned crimson as she scrambled to cover her face, squealing miserably. Accident or not, there was no going around it: she’d just been caught peeping on a demigod and his friend while they bathed, and boy she’d seen an eyeful.

Below, Gromni burst into laughter, his booming voice echoing through the night.

“Ahah! I told ya, ye damn bastard!”

The dwarf was in tears as he slapped his friend’s shoulder.

Galardos, meanwhile, pressed a hand to his forehead and simmered in silent shame.

Milla didn’t fare any better, begging the earth to up and swallow her.

But why didn’t Jund tell her they were out there!? The man had one job! One job, and he fucked it up! The blistering shame soon turned into fury, and Milla stormed downstairs to give her father his due reckoning.

Hearing the commotion, Jund poked his head inside, only to find himself face-to-face with his demigod daughter, radiating an aura of divine judgment.

“Why didn’t… you… TELL ME!?”

Milla was absolutely livid, more so than Jund had ever witnessed.

“Whoa, dear! What’s wrong, what happened?”

He raised his hands in surrender. He could already guess what manner of incident had transpired, but his survival instincts kicked in and implored him to play dumb.

It didn’t work.

“THEY CAUGHT ME PEEPING ON THEM!”

It was a shameful admission that she screamed out loud, prompting a few neighbors to look outside their windows for gossip.

Ever cautious to safeguard her secret, especially the artifact on her back, Milla had always made it a point to keep her distance from everyone. She always bathed alone and had zero experience in matters of the flesh, without so much as a childhood smooch to her name.

But now, out of nowhere, she’d run into two muscular, handsome men enjoying an outdoor bath in her backyard. It was too much for her poor, maiden heart to handle.

“They’ll think I’m a pervert! A freak! I’m… I’m Peeping Milla!”

She was on the verge of tears, a picture of pure and pitiful despair. Jund had no idea where to even begin consoling her — and the little devil on his shoulder urging him to give in and laugh didn’t help.

“Of course they won’t think that! Come here you, don’t cry—”

“Don’t touch me! You were supposed to be keeping watch! What the hell were you even doing out here if you weren’t gonna warn me!?”

“B- But how did you even see them? You were in the kitchen; there’s no angle to the backyard from there!”

“I went up to my room! My spices are there, remember? Think, Father, think!”

She was both furious and mortified, flailing her arms in righteous shame. Jund, who’d seen her grow into a stout, strong-willed woman, couldn’t help but be amused. Seeing her so rattled over something so mundane was oddly refreshing.

“Well, heh… it sure got spicy, didn’t it?”

“DAD!!”

“I’m joking! I’m joking!”

Milla didn’t take it kindly, grappling with the old hunter to grind her fist against his head. Weakened by his own laughter, Jund could only offer some feeble resistance until his daughter let go of him and stormed back indoors.

“By Zarielle, you’re unbelievable!” she shot at him, before slamming the door shut.

Jund chuckled to himself, shaking his head.

“Oh boy. She does take after Linda somehow,” he muttered before spotting a pair of figures quietly walking toward him from out back.

“Apologies, sire. It seems we’ve caused a bit of a stir,” said Gromni, wearing a grin from ear to ear as he stood next to Galardos. Both of them were clad in their armors again, freshly washed and polished.

“That was unseemly of us,” Galardos added with a hint of shame peeking through his air of dignity. “I shall reflect on my actions.”

“No, no… It was my fault,” replied Jund, scratching the back of his head. “You did ask me for permission, but I didn’t tell Milla about it. She’d locked herself in the kitchen, and well, you know how girls can be.”

“Well, don’t be so hard on yourself, Master Jund,” the dwarf pitched in. “A certain someone refused to cloak us with magic when I asked, so I say we’re all even.”

Galardos subtly looked away as the dwarf kept grinning like a bandit.

“I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again,” the demigod offered a respectful bow.

“Now, now. We’re all at fault, my Lord. Please raise your head,” Jund said with a slight panic, not expecting a demigod to be so polite to a mere commoner like him.

“Well, it might be for the best,” said Gromni with a shrug. “Nothing like a bit of nudity to break the ice, is there?”

“Hah. Is that how dwarves socialize?”

“Hm? No, I thought it was you Imperials.”

Gromni and Jund exchanged glances and snorted a laugh.

“We’ll be stuck out here for a while, won’t we?” Galardos hurried to change topics, staring at the closed door in front of them. He could feel an ominous aura seeping from beyond its threshold, warning him not to take even one step inside just yet.

“Yeah, I’m afraid so,” replied Jund, before taking his old pipe out of his breast pocket. “Care to join me for a smoke?”

“But of course,” the dwarf didn’t hesitate, not one to turn down courtesy. “I’ve got a stash of Silverleaf over with Betty, lemme get it real quick.”

Galardos himself wasn’t much of a smoker, but this time he might as well join them. Being out in the cold was largely on him, and spending some time to bond with the old hunter could soften the impact of the long, long talk waiting for them.