No one on Their Right Mind

Located at the Northernmost edge of the Central Continent, Sealport owed its name to a rare specimen of seal that lived in warm climates, which was discovered by chance by some fishermen that settled there, a couple of centuries ago.

That spot started to be often visited by people willing to observe those animals - which were very pacific as long as people weren’t stupid enough to bother them. And eventually, what started as a small, provisional settlement soon became a proper port city that was now one of the main spots of trading and transport.

As someone who had spent her entire life surrounded by mountains and forest, Nona could barely hide her enthusiasm as they walked through Sealport. Being able to feel the marine breeze on her face and see the vast ocean so close was good enough already. BUT the fact that there were numerous - and adorably chunky - seals freely roaming around the area was even better.

“Are you sure that we cannot adopt one?”

“We’ve talked about this, Nona: in this city at least, seals are treated as beings to be protected and respected, not as pets.”

“You are right, Vesper, sorry. What I meant is: are you sure that we cannot try to convince one to join us?”

“Ehem, leader, have you already forgotten about a certain rule of having limited spots on the team? Although to be fair, I’d very much prefer to have a seal buddy if that means ditching one of your useless male companions.”

“Hey, have you forgotten that Nona is walking freely thanks to my Disguise Self spell?”

“AAAH, a scary pumpkin man is talking to me, help!!”

“Y-You idiot, my face is not that bad anymore!”

“Worry not, dark-fairy: as soon as we reach our next destination, we will go separate ways, and I will not have to stand your presence any longer.” Lorian half-closed his eyes when Nona chuckled softly. “Is there something funny?”

“Adish said the same thing when we arrived at Hairur. And he is still in the team.”

Lorian clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “I’m afraid that even if I wanted to join you permanently - which I don’t - I have some unavoidable duties that would prevent me from doing so.”

“You are not going to tell us about those duties, right?” Even if she was half-way expecting it, Nona still sighed with disappointment when Lorian simply offered her a blank stare. She recovered soon though, and rapidly stood on her tiptoes to wrap her arm around Lorian’s shoulders. “Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For the time being, let’s find a ship that takes us to the North Continent!”

* * *

“Sorry, miss, but I’m afraid that we can’t take you that far.”

Nona felt her heart sink when they got a new refusal.

“And what if you drop us at the closest city? Or island!” she suggested - pretty desperately. The sailor kept shouting instructions to his men to continue to load the ship.

“Listen, miss, a few weeks ago we would have gladly taken you all in - for the proper payment, of course. But the ocean is dangerous lately. More dangerous than usual, I mean. So no one in their right mind would dare to go there.”

Nona sighed. They had spent the entire day asking around, but all the answers were the same: the route to the North Continent was not safe anymore due to a sea monster that they thought long dead, but that had apparently returned. So even the bravest sailors who often navigated those waters were now avoiding them.

She was about to go back to her group, who were already discussing alternatives, when she froze mid-turn.

“You’ve said that no one in their right mind would dare to go there, right?” She tilted her head. “Do you happen to know someone who fills that requirement?”

The old sailor thought for a few seconds before uttering a name and an address.

* * *

“Hello, sweetie. Do you want to have a good time~?”

“Oh, I’d love to! But right now we’re a bit busy trying to find someone so–”

“T-Thank you, but she is not interested. Have a nice evening!”

Nona didn’t understand why Vesper had interrupted her while Adish dragged her away from that corner, barely giving her time to say goodbye to that friendly young man dressed in a-bit-too-revealing clothes.

“Are you sure that that human was not playing with you?” Lorian asked with a disgusted grimace as they walked through the district that the old sailor had pointed out.

Definitely that area was very different from the ones Nona was used to seeing in her hometown. In the same street she had seen at least half-a-dozen of taverns, a couple of tattoo parlors, and a very pink establishment with hearts decoration called The Hot Mermaid where happy-looking men were gathering, which was their next stop.

“You have to be kidding me,” Adish snapped. “So The Hot Mermaid is not a tavern?”

“Well, obviously. What the hell were you expecting with that name, four-eyes?”

“Alright, let’s flip a coin to see who enters,” Vesper suggested.

“Oh, I can go in, I don’t mind–”

“No, you cannot!”

Nona frowned confused, not understanding why everyone - Lorian included - had rejected her offer so effusively.

At that moment, the double doors of The Hot Mermaid snapped open, revealing a group of men - and a SEAL - laughing boisterously. They were followed by a woman in her late forties wearing vibrant make up and a robe - under which there didn’t seem to be much more clothes, who remained in the doorway.

“This is the last time I put it on my tab, you hear me?” warned the woman before crossing her arms. “My girls may like your stories, but entertainment alone does not feed mouths.”

“I know, I know. I promise it’s the last time, my dear.” The person who had talked was a tall, well-built man in his late thirties with a patch covering his right eye and his long brown hair tied in a loose ponytail. “It’s always a pleasure doing business with you. And I’ll duly reward you when we find that sea monster.”

Nona missed the way Vesper gaped at the man - and the respective snorts that Adish, Lorian and Thorny let out at the same time - and rushed towards him. The man jumped startled.

“Wow. You should be careful, kid. You could piss the wrong people off bumping into them like that.” The man raised an eyebrow while scratching his beard. “Aren’t you a bit too young to be in this area? Either your parents are terrible or you are an orphan–”

“Are you Zander, the owner of The Happy Seahorse?”

“Seriously, someone who gave his ship such a pathetic name cannot be trusted.”

To Nona’s surprise, even if Thorny had whispered that, Zander dug his left eye on the apparently empty spot right above Nona’s shoulder.

“Hey, you can insult me all you want,” Zander lowered his head to stare straight at Thorny, his tone acquiring a dangerous edge. “But don’t you dare insult my ship. Understood?”

Thorny clicked his tongue and revealed himself, but before he could say anything, Nona rapidly spoke.

“I-I apologize on Thorny’s behalf. He just has terrible timing making jokes.”

The tension between Zander and Thorny vanished as fast as it had appeared when Zander barked a loud laugh.

“Don’t worry. It’s not the first time that I met a bigmouth fairy, so apology accepted.”

“How many times do I have to say that I’m not a fairy?!”

“So, what do you want from me, blondie?” Blondie? Nona thought confused, right before recalling that she was still under Adish’s spell. “Whatever it is, it better be quick. Because we are sailing in a couple of hours.”

“W-Wait, Nona, before you say anything,” Adish started, approaching her. “Don’t you think that we should discuss if we really want to…?”

“Can you take us to the North Continent?”

“...or maybe not,” Adish said with resignation as Zander and his men - the chunky seal included - stared at Nona in disbelief.

“Kid, you don’t know what you are asking for.” Zander said in a serious tone. “Whatever business you have there, I recommend you take another route, or simply wait until it’s safer to sail there.”

“See? That sounds like an intelligent option,” Adish approved. “It’s not like you have a time limit to–uhm…do your business, so it’s not worth the risk, right Vesper?”

“Mm? O-Oh. Yes. Yes. You are right.”

“...Have you even listened to what I said, or are you too busy ogling at this dude?”

“WHAT?! I’m not doing that!”

“If you wish to search for a safer route, by any means do so,” Lorian suddenly said, digging his eyes then on Zander. “But I need to reach the North Continent with haste, so I’m boarding that ship one way or the other.”

“Oh?” Zander crossed his arms and tilted his head with amusement. His already half-opened shirt gaped wider. “Cocky, are we? No offense, elf, but you don’t look strong enough to force your way on my ship unless I allow it–”

Suddenly, Lorian was close to Zander, one of his knives pressed under his jaw.

“So, who is the cocky one now?” Lorian hissed, leaning forward even more until his nose was almost brushing Zander’s.

Nona tensed and instinctively set her hand on her sword - she had forgotten to equip with her new dwarf axe - when several sailors extracted different weapons - somehow, even the seal was managing to point at Lorian with a revolver.

Thankfully, Zander raised his right ringed hand before things escalated, silently commanding his men to stay still.

“Well, it seems like I underestimated you.” Far from feeling threatened, Zander looked perfectly at ease, and even dared to lean his face even more towards Lorian, who stiffened. “But unluckily for you, I’m a sucker for danger. And I’m not detecting a real one coming from you, brat.”

Even with her trained eyesight, Nona almost missed the way Zander quickly disarmed Lorian, kicking the back of the elf’s feet and making him lose balance. Lorian gasped in shock, but Zander caught his arm before he could fall, holding him steady while still gripping the knife in his other hand.

“Not bad for a newbie, though.” Zander winked at Lorian and pinched his cheek. “Ask nicely, and maybe I will teach you a thing or two.” The elf blushed with a mix of embarrassment and anger.

“Tsk, and not to lose the tradition, of course the rogue in our team had to be a total newbie without murdering intent.”

“Say another word, dark fairy, and I’ll show you how capable I am to murder someone.”

“So, coming back to your petition, blondie,” Zander offered Nona an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, but I already have a pre-teen daughter, so I have my hands full to take care of a bunch of kids.”

“Who are you calling a kid, you old man?” Lorian said, offended. “I’m one hundred twenty five years old.”

“Which in human terms is seventeen?”

“Twenty-five!”

“Bah, you're still a kid.”

“You insufferable human–”

“Let’s arm wrestle!”

Everyone blinked when Nona’s proposal interrupted Lorian’s new attempt to fight.

“Beg your pardon?”

“Let’s arm wrestle,” Nona repeated, smiling with confidence. “If I win, it means I’m strong enough to be on your ship, and you’ll let ALL of us on.”

“But why can’t we take the slower and safer route–”

“And if I lose,” Nona continued, missing both Adish’s complaint and the way Vesper patted the mage’s back, “we give you all the money you want for making you waste time.”

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Thorny snapped. “No, no, no, no. As a team we DON’T agree with those terms–”

“Deal.”

“SHIT!”

To Thorny’s relief, Nona easily beat Zander in the arm-wrestle challenge without even breaking a sweat.

Zander stared at Nona in disbelief, clicking his tongue.

“Everyone knows it’s the best of three.”

They tried again, and this time Zander cheated when his men joined the arm-wrestle, trying to add more force.

Nona won, after sweating a bit.

“I-In Sealport it’s the best of five, I almost forgot.”

This time even more sailors joined. And also the seal.

But the result was the same.

“So…” Nona tiredly said, drenched in sweat but with a proud smile on her face, “when did you say we were leaving, Captain Zander?”