2.22 Men's Rights: Mothers and Monsters (Finale)

"Come here, Lily dear." Aunty Mabel picked up the spoon and tasted a bit of the sauce. "Needs a little more salt. And add one more spoon of vinegar."

"Yes, Aunty," Lily said. "By the way, what are you all talking about?"

"About those guys who were protesting with Our Lord," Penny answered.

"Oh, yes. Did you guys hear about the orc? He was severely injured after trying to save a kid from the mad mage in the sewers. A real hero, that one. Lost a hand and a leg, I heard. It's a miracle that he is even alive. I also heard that the sewer mage is part of a conspiracy from Noxumbra to assassinate Her Majesty. It was lucky that Our Lord was there to stop it in time."

The other maids looked at each other, some of them trying hard not to laugh.

"Where exactly did you hear all this, Lily?" Emily asked the newcomer.

"Read it in the Meridian Mirror, Em. It's terrible, isn't it?"

"Yes, very," Penny said, rolling her eyes.

"Lily, dear, why don't you go back to the kitchen and start cooking the meat?" Aunty Mabel gently commanded. "And try not to spend too much time reading. It doesn't suit you."

"Oh! Okay, Aunty," Lily said cheerfully and went back inside.

"Silly girl," Aunty Mabel muttered to herself once Lily had left.

"Not just silly, Aunty. She is also very stupid. But these days I think the prize for the stupidest one at the estate goes to Mimi. That girl always has her head in the clouds."

"Penny, don't bully Lily and Mimi."

"Not even a little, Aunty?"

"No. If I hear you harassing the others, I will let Agnes thwack you on the head."

"No, no, no. There's no need for that. I'll behave, Aunty. Just keep the evil one away from me," Penny pleaded, prompting laughter from the others.

"By the way, what did happen to the orc?" Alice asked. "After that first report when the mad mage was caught, there was no follow-up in the Times. He was a bit wounded, right? Did he get better?"

"He did," Emily replied. "I heard that the treatment is still going on, but he is much better now."

"Did he leave already? I read that the orc party left the city yesterday."

"No. Some of them are staying back until Turtle Day. I heard that he and his girlfriend are staying back too. Did you guys hear about their love story?"

"No. What's it about, dear?" Aunty Mabel asked.

"It's very interesting and sweet, Aunty," Emily said. "So, this orc is dating the granddaughter of Warchief Bulguk of the Headtakers. You guys know him, right?"

Everyone nodded.

"So, Warchief Bulguk is very traditional, and he refused to give Thokk—that's the orc's name—permission to marry his granddaughter."

"What does this boy do for a living?" Aunty Mabel asked.

"He is a turtle merchant. Many of the turtles sold in the city these past two weeks are from his stock. I also heard that his family is well to do."

"Seems like a good match. What's the issue for the Warchief?"

"Apparently, he wants Thokk to prove himself in a combat trial and earn glory."

"What nonsense!" Aunty Mabel said loudly and split a clove of garlic in two by the force of her peeling. "What sort of condition is that? Does he want the poor boy to risk his life for marriage?"

"I know, right? It's really terrible."

"So what happens to them now?" Aunty Mabel was angrily shredding more garlic. "If this Warchief is not going to approve, I think they should just stay in Meridian. If no one will take care of them, my boy and Our Lady will."

"I don't think you need to worry too much in that regard, Aunty," Emily replied. "After the incident in the sewers, Our Lady sent the Warchief a letter, telling him about how heroic Thokk has been, and urging him to approve the marriage. So, it's only a matter of time."

Aunty Mabel breathed a sigh of relief and stopped manhandling the garlic. "Thank the gods for Our Lady. At least someone in this world has some sense. Stupid old orc."

"You guys are again behind on the recent gossip. The marriage is already approved," Penny announced.

"What?" Emily looked confused and slightly offended. "Penny, that's impossible! I posted the letter myself, just two days ago. It could not have reached the Warchief by now."

"I am not talking about the letter, Em. I don't know about any letters. Maybe Our Lady sent it to make sure that the Warchief did not forget his approval. What I am talking about is what Our Lord did. The very next day after the incident in the sewers, he actually teleported into the Chieftain's tent and threatened the Warchief Bulguk in front of the entire tribe to make him approve the marriage."

"Really? Wait, how do you even know this? Did Our Lord tell you?"

"No. I read it in Princess Lyra's newsletter. This week's edition came out just yesterday."

"What are you saying? How can Princess Lyra know what happened in an orc chieftain's tent?"

Penny calmly continued brushing Emily's hair despite all the critical probing. "You know how the Princess is, Em," she said. "If it has anything to do with the Great Mage, she will learn about it. She has informants all over. Her newsletter is a must-have for anyone interested in Our Lord's gossip. It's always factual too." Penny had more to say about the newsletter. "Her writing style is a bit too much, though. Very dry and academic. I personally prefer Tilly's newsletter. It's more fun to read."

"So, what happened then, Penny dear?" Aunty Mabel asked. "Did the old coot approve the marriage?"

"He did, Aunty. He had no choice after the Great Mage threatened him."

"It must have upset the bastard to give in."

"Actually, Aunty, it was the opposite. Princess Lyra wrote that Warchief Bulguk was very happy. He was seen telling everyone about how he was threatened by the Great Mage himself and survived. And also he is now very proud of his grandson-in-law 'who went to battle with the Great Mage'."

"Silly old bat. Anyway, the situation is resolved and the couple are happy. That's all that matters," Aunty Mabel declared.

While Aunty Mabel, Emily, and Barnabas continued peeling the garlic, Alice stopped browsing the paper and joined them. Penny finished combing and braiding Emily's hair and was about to secure it with pins when they all heard the sound of work boots coming their way.

A middle-aged woman, followed closely by a teenage girl, came into view. Both were equally dirty. The older woman looked really angry, and the teenager had clearly been weeping.

"Mimi, have you been crying?" Penny asked the teenager as the women approached the group. "Did the old witch yell at you? Come here, sweetie, I'll protect you from the monster."

"She is going nowhere until she cleans at least a hundred plates," Agnes thundered. "After the stunt she pulled, she is lucky to get off with just that. And what are you doing, you lazy wench?" she said, pointing a finger at Penny. "How long are you going to brush Emily's hair? Don't you have anything else to do?"

"Aunty Mabel gave me permission. You have no power here, foul creature. Go back to the shadows from whence you came."

"Why, you disrespectful brat—"

"Agnes, Penny, enough!" Aunty Mabel commanded. "Penny, you focus on tying Emily's hair. Agnes, tell us what happened with Mimi."

"What happened, Mabel? This girl, this stupid girl, do you know what she did? She went running into the dimensional maze without any safety equipment!"

All the maids gasped. Even Barnabas looked shocked.

"Why did you do that, dear?" Aunty Mabel gently, but firmly asked the teenager.

"I am sorry, Aunty Mabel," Mimi sniffled. "I didn't do it on purpose. I just... I just..."

"Stop fidgeting and answer Mabel, you silly girl. Tell her why you ran into the maze."

"I... I saw a cute bunny, Aunty," Mimi said and once more burst into tears.

"Stop crying," Agnes yelled.

"Sorry, Aunty Agnes," Mimi whimpered.

"Who are you calling Aunty? Do I look like an Aunty to you? I am only forty years old."

"Forty-eight," Penny whispered to Alice.

"Sorry, Agnes," Mimi corrected herself.

"How did a rabbit get there?" Aunty Mabel asked. "Their enclosure is on the other side of the estate."

"It's not a real one, Mabel. You remember those illusions Kyros did last year for Our Lady's birthday? It's one of those. I have been killing the buggers—"

"Language, Agnes!"

"Oh! Sorry. So, I have been killing the bunnies, the illusions, I mean, whenever I see them. But this one seems to have escaped. I can't even say what would have happened if the guards stationed there had not caught this idiot. Remember to tell the girls to make something nice for Captain Leo and his men, Emily."

"I will, Agnes," Emily replied.

"Now come on, I am going to make sure you clean everything," Agnes yelled at Mimi, who once again dutifully began following the Assistant Head Maid.

"Agnes, stop," Aunty Mabel said. "Emily, take Mimi with you to the kitchen, and make her wash thirty plates. That's enough."

Emily nodded.

"And, Mimi," Aunty Mabel continued, "you are not allowed near the dimensional maze anymore without supervision. If I see this mistake again, I will tell Our Lady about it."

"Sorry, Aunty Mabel. I won't do it again." Mimi started tearing up once more. "Please don't tell Our Lady about it. She will be really disappointed in me."

"I won't, dear. Just make sure you complete your punishment."

Mimi nodded while wiping her tears, and Emily then led her towards the kitchen.

"You are too lenient on them, Mabel," Agnes said. "Some of these wenches, like this one," she pointed again at Penny, "need a firmer hand."

"Not everyone can be a tyrant like you, Agnes," Penny retorted. "Some of us still have our humanity left."

"What did you say, you mannerless brat? Come here." Agnes began moving towards Penny.

"I said that you are like a lich, stripped of all humanity, and crusty like one too."

"Come closer. Let me show you how much of a tyrant I am."

"You need to catch me first, you old cow!" Penny stuck out her tongue and started running.

Agnes followed suit and began chasing the younger maid.

Aunty Mabel shook her head and went back to the garlic. "Alice," she said after a few seconds to the only remaining maid, "go and see if Lulu, Bess, and Mary have finished their tasks. Tell them I will come and check in on them in about fifteen minutes."

"Yes, Aunty." Alice stood up and went inside to carry out her duty, leaving Aunty Mabel alone with Barnabas.

After a brief moment of silence following everyone's departure, Aunty Mabel asked the dwarf, "You are staying, Barnie?"

"Yes. If you don't mind, Mabel, I will help with the rest of this garlic."

"I don't mind," Aunty Mabel said with a smile.

Barnabas continued working on the garlic. "It's always lively here, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes. The girls are pretty lively. Even more so when Kyros is here." Aunty Mabel chuckled, remembering some old memory.

"You really love him, don't you?"

"Of course. He is the boy I raised. He is my son in all but name."

"Why didn't you ever adopt him? I am sorry if that's too personal. You don't have to answer it."

"No. I don't mind. I thought about it many times. But then I realized that while he is my son, I could never be his mother. What if one day, some great lady or a goddess came and asked me how I could have dared to claim him as my son? What would I say to her?"

"I don't think that the lord would have minded you as his mother. He treats you like one anyway."

"Yes. He is a very sweet boy. He grew up so well, didn't he?"

"I guess he did. Well, except for cutting off beards."

Aunty Mabel chuckled. "Yes, except for that."