More Stupidity

I ran immediately back to the rose garden to pull out the fake rose and make my way down the hidden stairway. I got another annoying message pop-up from Nakamura.

“Hiroshi! Enter the throne room with Prince Andrew to finally fulfill your destiny!”

This guy is really trying to make me a character, and I’m honestly getting tired of it.

...And who said you could use my first name like we’re friends?

I inevitably made my way to Prince Andrew and saw him fighting another man who dressed the same as him...sort of. The guy had a bulging belly and could barely fit in his clothes. “Hiroshi! Help me fight this imposter!”

The man looked at me with surprise and then shouted, “Don’t believe him, Hiroshi! I got a message from the heavens to come down here and protect you! I am the real Prince Andrew!”

My eye twitched.

Nakamura must have planned this in advance. I looked over at the pop-up screen that was blank and sweated nervously.

I walked over to the fake ‘prince’ and put my hand on his shoulder with a smile. The two men stopped fighting. The imposter smiled back. “I knew you would believe me, my dear friend!” Prince Andrew looked horrified. “Hiroshi! You can’t possibly believe him! He may look just like me, but…”

“YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!” I shouted and punched the man in the face, who fell backwards and immediately fell unconscious. I then pointed at the prince. “DUDE! THIS GUY LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOU!”

Prince Andrew widened his eyes. “Really? But he got my clothes and prison facial hair down perfectly…”

“YOU-Wait, prison facial hair?” I asked, confused.

“Yeah, the facial hair you grow in prison,” he replied, confused that I was confused.

“...Let’s just go,” I said with a sigh and ran off.

We continued running, and numerous people emerged dressed up like Prince Andrew, but of course, none of them looked like him. They all shouted, “I’M THE REAL PRINCE ANDREW!”

... which we both ignored and ran past them.

We eventually made our way to the throne room, where Julian, the princesses, and a crowd had gathered.

The prince shouted, “Don’t believe him, father!”

The king narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on here? I don’t recall having twins. Someone explain!”

Julian rubbed his hands nervously with a smile. “Ahh...w-well, you see, Your Highness. I prepared a body double ahead of time due to reports of an assassination plot. Isn’t that right?” he asked, looking at me.

He must be hoping I am still the guy he put in place. Too bad for him.

I raised my hand. “Uhh...actually, I was hired by Julian to frame the real prince.” The crowd murmured; some of the knights took a step back, and Julian felt the noise swirl around him. He gritted his teeth and yelled, “LIAR! TRAITOR! SUNKEN-EYED BLASPHEMER!”

“Wait...is he a liar or a traitor? And how is he blaspheming?” the king asked.

Julian took a deep breath and calmed down. “Sir. I’m sorry. You see, I hired this man, but he decided to quit before our contract ended, so I didn’t pay him. He’s lying as revenge. If you’ll allow me to-”

“Evidence.” I interjected, holding Julian’s journal.

His face went pale and his mustache drooped, soon gaining a vein of pure anger on the side of his head. “HEY! That’s mine! You thieving scoundrel! I demand you give that back and then get beheaded!”

“No. I won’t. To both those things.” I replied.

I walked past him and handed the journal to the king. The king looked over the journal, flipping through its pages. His eyes darted across the pages, and his face became progressively more angry. “Julian...what is this?! Explain!”

Julian stepped back. “Uh…”

“Human trafficking...drugs...a concerning amount of mustache grooming...ARE YOU A MORON?!”

Julian took a deep breath. “Well, you see, Your Highness…”

Julian ran away.