The Second & The Mistake

Faye lived in a sparsely decorated apartment on the grounds of the academy, apparently given to each head during their tenure. It felt strangely comfortable, despite the notable lack of the comforts of Anare's home. It reminded me of my room.

"I apologize for the state of things, I wasn't expecting to host company today." Faye said with a slight chuckle.

"I don't mind. It's already more than kind of you to offer your couch for the night." I replied listlessly. I couldn't bring myself to go back to Anare's right now. I could still feel tingles from the remnants of her mana. It was difficult to imagine how Faye must feel every time she sees her.

I waited for a moment as Faye left the entrance and returned, "Come, I'll give you the grand tour." She said sarcastically.

Despite the lack of decorations, the apartment itself was quite well appointed. With the added benefit of being right on academy grounds, I could envision a long history of headmasters and headmistresses living here, handling the various duties of the academy, hosting professors and influential parents. There was a comfortable parlour with an unlit hearth, a large dining room with a table to seat at least ten, and a cozy little guest bathroom.

I was shown nearly every room, and those I wasn't, I was told about instead. Eventually I was lead into the private living area, and a huge couch that promised a comfortable night of sleep awaited me.

Faye gathered a blanket and pillow for me, "I imagine you're exhausted after today, so I'll give you some privacy. See you in the morning, Marin."

I nodded, "Thank you again, Faye. I really appreciate this."

When I stood alone in the quiet room, I could suddenly feel the weight of the day pressing down on me. I spread the blanket out on the couch, placed the pillow on one end, and slid under the covers still wearing my clothes. I stared up at the ceiling, then raised my left arm. The focus pulsed softly. I desperately hoped to hear Mari's voice through it again, I wanted to tell her how sorry I was, but it only continued its slow, mocking pulse.

I turned to face the back of the couch, and closed my eyes, eager for a sleep that wouldn't come so easily.

I pulled my hood up as I stalked through the darkened residential streets of the city. Over the last few months, the memories of this body had gotten clearer and clearer. I felt like I was in a familiar place, yet at the same time I felt like a complete stranger to the world I was in. I heard random chatter from a nearby open window as I walked passed. I was having an easier and easier time understanding what people were saying, likely another benefit of being in a body that spoke the language.

Eventually, I came to my destination. A shabby, darkened house, surrounded by equally shabby homes. Probably nice when they were first built. I walked around the side of the house, going to the window that was always left unlocked in case Marin lost her keys. I carefully slid it open and crawled inside. I didn't know what I was coming here for. I hoped by seeing her again, that image of her face with my bloodied hands wrapped around her neck might stop haunting me in the moments before sleep.

Maybe I wanted to see how far she'd fallen. I clicked on a small light in the kitchen, muscle memories I'd never formed guiding my hand, and I looked around in the dim light. Everything was as my memories told me it was. The table, the old and damaged couch, the TV we got from a neighbour when they moved out..

I let out a breathy, quiet laugh. 'We' I thought to myself. I needed to finish that spell.. I walked towards the stairs as quietly as I could, then sighed softly. I knew some of these stairs creaked, but I couldn't remember which ones. I closed my eyes and focused for a moment, concentrating wind magic beneath my feet, which lifted me up onto slight cushions of air. I took the first step, fully expecting it to creak loudly enough to wake the entire neighbourhood. It was the same story for each step after, but thankfully I had made it to the top without a sound.

I could see a sliver of light from a slightly cracked open door. I paused for a moment in confusion, I was sure her door was further down the hall, but the memories weren't exactly reliable as yet. I continued forward, placing the tips of my fingers against the wall as I moved, and came to the door.

I heard noises from inside, and crouched down. I focused my ice into my senses, to the point I could hear a pin drop in the next house. I could hear her laboured breathing, her irregular heartbeat, even the sound of her blood flowing through her body. I broke the focus and gave a soft sigh, before standing back up and simply opening the door.

To her credit, she didn't seem at all surprised to see me, though that was better attributed to the needle currently stuck in her arm. She looked at me through what I knew must be a heavily drugged haze, and she smiled slightly. I felt a shiver of anger run through my body, and I clenched my fist to try to dissipate it. She was here, getting high in Marin's room, while her daughter was lost in another world..

"あなたは、" she began, and I was forced to focus on what she was saying in order to understand, "You're.. not my daughter, are you?"

I grimaced. She still had the nerve to call Marin her daughter, after everything she put her through, the beatings, the late nights left outside of seedy dens in the redlight district. I stepped forward and kneeled down in front of her. She was a mess, and she smelled like she hadn't showered in weeks. I reached forward and gently grabbed her arm. The needle was in as deep as it could go, and there was a small bit of blood pooling around the base of it. I reached into my hoodie pocket, pulling out a small bit of cotton I knew I'd be needing, and pulled the needle out.

She didn't even notice, she was staring at me like she was in the midst of a dream. I found myself wishing she could feel how hard I was pushing the cotton into her arm. With my free hand I undid the band around her bicep and tossed it to the side. This wasn't what I had imagined, but it's what I was prepared for. The only memories from this body I could consider pleasant were the times Marin found her mother like this, high enough to forget her hatred for her own daughter.

I let out another heavy sigh and worked my arm underneath her legs, lifting her from the floor and carefully bringing her to the bathroom. I didn't even have it in me to feel pity anymore. I would never be able to forgive her for anything, and if I couldn't, then Marin was even less likely to. But she at least deserved the chance to make that choice.

I spent the better part of an hour washing her down, getting the oils out of her hair and making her at least comfortable. It would amount to a wasted effort in a matter of days. When she was clean and dry, I changed her into pajamas, and put her into Marin's bed. Her bed was beyond filthy, but Marin's was perfectly clean, and even smelled fresh still.

She hadn't managed to form another word, despite her attempts. I pulled the covers over her and left the room, turning off the light and closing the door as I did. I then went into her room, straight to where I knew she kept her stash, and I cleared it out. I needed her to be sober for the spell to work.

I spent the remainder of the night cleaning up the house. If Marin were to ever return here, she deserved somewhere safe and comfortable. Since she didn't have that, a clean house was the next best thing..

It was only a few hours after sunrise that she came out of Marin's room and rushed to the bathroom. I watched as she passed by me in the hall, and I listened as she emptied her stomach into the toilet. It was only going to get worse for her from here. I was looking forward to her suffering, even when the thought of enjoying something like that made me queasy.

This would be a long few weeks.