Do or Die, What it Takes to Become a Career Adventurer

Den awoke the next morning bruised and blurry eyed. Damn, he thought. That was a weird dream. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he laughed weakly. Like our party would ever be able to defeat a golem. He turned his head to the side. Stuffed into his small room, his party members sprawled on spare futons. Wow. He chuckled to himself as he slowly realised it had been no dream. We almost died.

Rika lay on her back with her mouth open and twitching in her sleep like a puppy, her blanket thrown off her body. She was fully dressed, her two Pokey Sticks of Destruction just out of reach on the floor nearby. Den was also fully dressed, as were his teammates, their weapons lying in wait an arms-length away. Through Den’s morning delirium, the events of the night before came back to him. It really had felt like a dream. They had taken on a golem-- and somehow won. With no way to know if another Horde Spawn Event was going to take place, they armed themselves and did rounds of the suburb, taking down any monsters that remained.

It took some time before their heads stopped spinning, but in the end, the power returned and the remaining Mob Wall generators came back online. All in all, things worked out well enough. GrandPre and all of the other residents in the suburb were miraculously alive. The only funeral that had to be held was for Rika’s Pointy Stick 1.0 that lost its life in battle. They buried it in Den’s garden.

In retrospect, he was surprised he had made the choice to lead his team against such an obviously out of their range monster. He didn’t think he was the selfless hero type, but he supposed that even a self-focused loser like him could make stupid decisions while in the heat of the moment. GrandPre had chewed them out for putting themselves in danger, but given that they had won, she had smiled and thanked them. That was a surprisingly pleasant reward. Den rolled over and looked up to the head of this futon. A skull-sized chunk of orange Essence Ore shimmered. The fact that they had been delivered this huge piece of Grade D Essence Ore for their efforts also didn’t hurt.

The team rose and ate, then made their way over to the Guild. On the way through the quiet suburb, Den took in the small changes. Cracks from the Event were all over, and there were signs of battle in the form of torn up turf and knocked over lawn furnishings. In the end, however, the majority of the damage was downtown. The plaza was going to need some serious repair.

Rika grumbled to herself softly as she looked down at her phone as she walked. “I can’t believe I still had to call in to work today. You would think that a suburb-wide Horde Event would be enough reason to close and give the post workers a break…”

“So what are they saying about us?” Den asked. He was the only one in his party guiding the way while the other four had their heads buried in their phones.

“We’re world news now, baby. Who knew it would be so easy?” Sam gave him a v for victory.

“Correction-- Chloe still hasn't seen any articles that mention her party by name,” Chloe said, looking up from her phone.

“Oh, come on!” Rika said, furiously scratching the back of her head. “Den, as leader, I command you to write to a famous newspaper about us and our heroic amazingness!”

“The world news is already moving on from Suburb 23. No one was killed after all,” Grengalheim said with a sigh, stowing his phone. “Now all the papers are focused on the Densetsu Family’s plan to create a moving Adventurer militia to protect areas at risk during brownouts.” He buried his face in a hand. “What are they thinking? If you put a bunch of high level adventurers near places at risk, that will only increase the level of the monsters that spawn. It’s ridiculous.”

Rika raised her nose and gave a confident chuckle. “It’s not like we even needed any help anyway. We’re basically already heroes. Now we just need to push our way up to the top floor to prove it.”

They arrived at the Guild and came to a stop. Rika started to go inside, but Grengalheim crossed his arms and stood in her way. “The Horde Spawn got in the way of our discussions last night,” he said, his tone turning grave. “It’s true that taking down that golem provided us with Grade D Essence Ore--”

“And pushed us all over level 8. That’s pretty rad,” Sam added.

Grengalheim gave them a glare before he returned his attention to Rika. “But it doesn’t change the fact that even with your cut, you’re not going to be able to make your share.” He took a deep breath. “If you don’t have a way to do so, I’m going in right now and leaving this party.”

Rika stood rigged, her breath catching in her throat. She did not appear to have figured out any way to fix the problem.

Lucky for her, Den was the planner. When he first saw the moment of their party fracturing last night, he made his decision. He stepped forward and set a hand on Rika’s shoulder. “Rika,” he said softly and she turned to him with wide eyes shimmering with frantic thoughts. “It wasn’t cool for you to make us think you could cover your portion. Do you promise to be honest with us in the future?”

She nodded furiously. “I promise! I--” her voice faltered and she looked down at the ground. “I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to be the one to make everyone fail.”

“I get that,” Den said. All too well. The fact that she had the same fear he did, made him all the more confident in his decision. “Is it possible for you to make the payment next month?”

Rika lifted her head as she considered those words. In a shaky, but thoughtful voice, she said, “If I budget weekly and we continue saving like we have, I believe I should be able to make it. This time it all just happened too soon. I had no savings.”

Den nodded. “I am going to put my trust in you, Rika. I get where you’re coming from. Please show us a leader who does what they say they can do.”

Tears welled in Rika’s eyes. “I will.”

Den looked around to the other three uneasy team members. “I will give Rika the 30,000 from the slime battle,” he announced. “She did just as much work then.”

Grengalheim rolled his eyes. “Then you won’t be able to make your budget.”

“I won’t buy back my computer,” he said. He’d put years of his life into that machine, but now, it was useless to him. “If I do that, I can lower my budget by 30,000.”

They all stood in silence in the cool midmorning shade of the Guild as his words sank in. Chloe’s bunny ear stood up and she grinned. A smile broke out on Sam’s face too and they all turned to Grengalheim. His eyebrows had raised.

He rubbed his goatee. “If that’s your decision, Den… I want to believe in this party too.” He gave Rika a serious look. “I will give you a chance this time. I look forward to hearing about your budget.”

She stood at attention and gave a salute. “Thank you, Grengalheim. I know how I can do better now. I will become a leader that her party can trust.”

Finally, a smile grew on Grengalheim’s face. “Then we better go see how much this Grade D Essence Ore is worth!”

After getting a delicious 25,000 doubloons turnover for the golem drop-- worth half a dozen runs for the whole team-- they were well on their way to having what they needed. But their job wasn’t done yet. They exited the Guild while trying to decide what they should do next.

“Five more runs of the Fourth Layer, Chloe calculates,” Chloe said, counting on her fingers.

Den stopped in the middle of the street, bringing all other eyes to look at him. “I think it’s time we finish the Fifth Layer,” he said.

Sam grimaced and itched their ear. “We are almost double the level we were last time, but I don’t know, Den, it’ll be really close on time if we have to slip out again.”

“We should have the time even if it does come to that,” he said. “That’s why I think we have to do this. It’s time we finish this as a team-- with a plan and doing things our way.” He had all their attention now. He grinned. “Sure, we could run ourselves silly and make up what we need, but if we keep trying that, then we’re all going to just end up like me.” He hit the ground with his crutch. “We’ve made it this far because we planned and made use of what we already have. We don’t have to be the strongest, or the luckiest, or the most hard working.” He grinned. “We just have to make use of what is already available to us.” He raised a finger. “If we do, we won’t need to use a single Enchanted Item.”

Rika’s eyes lit up. “What’s the plan, Den?”

“We’re going to the 100 doubloon store,” he said, his smile growing scary. “We’re going to need a lot of duct tape.”

---

Den’s team did a full set of warm up stretches before they entered the Hollows. Den would not make the same mistake they had made in the past. With his body as ready as it was going to be, they entered the Fifth Layer. Still slowed by his limp, Den did not force himself. He met monsters that targeted him-- the resharpened end of his Pointy Stick crutch acting as defence. He focused on his main mission of carrying the meter square cardboard they’d picked up at the store.

It was a refreshingly difficult trek to the boss room after several days running the Fourth Layer. They paused and caught their breath at the doors before making their way inside. This time, Den knew exactly what they were up against and was confident they were going to win. The doors closed shut behind them, a magic circle shining to life in the pit of water in the center of the chamber. Den dropped his posterboard and swung off his backpack. There was no time to lose.

“Let’s do this, everyone. We don’t need to wait for them to be ready.” He pulled out rolls of household twine and a box set of children's scissors. Sam, Grengalheim, and Chloe all took a coil of rope and pair of scissors before running off to the pillars at the edges of the room. Rika slowly walked for the water’s edge with her two Pointy Sticks of Destruction drawn. Out of the depths, Capybara, King of Rodents leapt majestically ashore. It raised its head, it’s tiny crown sparkling.

It tilted its head and in the look it gave Rika, it’s large black eyes seemed to say, “Oh? I seem to have a memory of you. You have come back for more punishment? Have you not learned your place, vermin?”

Rika laughed wildly. “Den, I'm all on board with the plan, but don’t be mad at me if I kill this little shit first!”

“Just keep it busy!” Den called as he pulled a roll of duct tape from his bag. Rika met Capybara in battle, once more disappearing in a mass of fur as the King of Rodents opened portals to call more of its kind. Den left that to Rika. He could trust her to handle that much again. The duct tape sang as he pulled long pieces of it, ripping them off, bending the edges back and sticking the line of tape to the posterboard with the sticky side up. He continued attaching more, keeping an eye on his other team members.

Chloe worked at the closest pillar, unwinding long stretches of the twine Den usually used at home to tie up his paper recycling. Once Chloe had roughly measured out five or so meters of the rope doubled up, she prepared a simple slipknot on either end. She looped the twine around the pillar and thread it through the other end, drawing it tight. Then she ran the other slip knot to the middle of the room. She moved on to another pillar.

The other two followed the same process, bringing long ropes ending with slipknots to a center point. When six were prepared, Den finished his own job-- the posterboard covered completely in sticky-side up tape. He ran it to the wall of the cave, setting it behind a pillar before he met the other three in waiting. “We’re coming to help, Rika!”

She squirmed on the ground, covered in a pile of small rodents. Capybara stood over her. It tilted its head, opened another portal, and let its hench-animals leave the scene. In its googly-eyed gaze, its nose twitching, it seemed to say, “Have you finished scurrying around now? It seems you are ready to meet me. We shall accept your challenge.”

Rika ran away on all fours as Capybara, King of Rodents, opened a large portal. Old God Joseph plodded out. It looked at Rika stumbling to her feet as she rejoined Den and the others. In its eyes, it only seemed to say, “Again?” It lowered its head with a sigh. “They’re like cockroaches. Let us put them out of their misery.”

Den’s heart hammered as the bear-sized rodent charged. Had it always been that big? When he’d thought of this plan, it had seemed a little smaller in memory. “We can do this!” he said, his voice going high and squeaky. “Just follow the plan!” They all snatched up a slipknot while drawing a weapon with their other hand. They spread out and, unsurprisingly, Old God Joseph set its sights on Rika.

“Chloe has the rope first!” Chloe called.

Den dropped his as did the others and joined up with Chloe on one side of the monster as it closed in on Rika.

To her credit, Rika didn’t balk under the gaze of a massive hulking animal hurtling at her. She ran as the others came up on the sides of the monster, then she fell to a knee, digging the back end of her Pointy Stick of Destruction into the ground and bracing herself. The huge animal ran itself onto her stick, but hardly gave a scoff. At that moment, Den and the other three ran in.

They yelled and used both hands to jab their weapons into the monster. It was still disappointing when Den’s screwdriver barely dug in, seeming to do as much damage as a mosquito bite. Even so, he grinned.

“This leg!” he called, throwing himself onto Old God Joseph's front right leg. Sam, and Grengalheim threw their weight against the huge animal’s shoulder. As one would expect, it hardly budged-- but it was enough. Den pulled up, and the leg he gripped rose off the ground ever so slightly. In that instant, Chloe drew the slipknot over the paw and snuged it tight.

“Retreat!” Den called, seeing their objective had been achieved. The five of them broke apart in five directions as Old God Joseph swung its head, seeming to be at a loss for who to chase.

“I guess you really are just a dumb rodent, even if you are that big!” Rika taunted.

The great being released a displeased snort and ran after her. For being an Old God, was it really that easy to taunt?

“I’m closest!” Grengalheim said, running parallel to the monster as it gave chase to Rika. They grouped up on one side of it, keeping pace, but since they didn’t attack, the monster didn’t seem to accept them as threats. They repeated the same strategy, the boss not seeming to be concerned given the fact it was taking negligible damage. This time however, when they drew the slipknot tight around its other front leg, Old God Joseph seemed to finally give it notice. It kicked its legs, but the ropes did not come free.

Rika ran, saying Joseph’s mother was a hamster and its father smelled of elderberries. The monster chirped unhappily at the taunt, but after taking several leaping steps forward, it jerked to the side, as the rope on its left leg drew taunt. It huffed and kicked its legs, but it couldn’t reach her.

“Now it’s our turn!” Sam called. “I have the rope!”

They ran to their side and charged the confused animal. It took only a moment longer to loop one of its back legs. Now the monster realized something was wrong. Den could no longer read any words in its gaze as its mind seemed to cloud over in confusion. They scattered and it took chase, but one of the ropes caught and drew it to a halt. It tried to run in another direction before it met the end of a different line.

“Can I have the last one?” Rika asked, holding up one of the remaining slipknots.

“It’s all yours,” Den said, his blood rushing with excitement. The fact that his plan was working was immensely satisfying. But, he had another job to attend to. He ran to his backpack at the edge of the room, grabbed up a roll of duct tape, and slipped it over his wrist. They charged the monster one more time and captured its final leg. Now as they scattered, the monster could do nothing to reach them, moving a few meters before its binding held it back.

“You ready, everyone?” Den asked as he and his friends caught their breath and joined up together. “It’s time for a Walloping.” They yelled as they ran forward to meet the monster. They slammed into its side. It huffed angrily, but with its feet tangled up in the twine, it couldn’t properly raise its legs to attack. “Heave!” Den called. With a great effort of all five, the already overextended monster tilted. It slammed to the ground with a surprised squeak.

Den drew out his duct tape and slapped it down on one of the flailing back legs. His other party members threw themselves on the squirming legs, slowing the monster down enough to rope the tape messily around the two back legs, drawing them together. They rose up as Old God Joseph squeaked and clicked, flailing its front legs even more, attempting to right itself. With a great many grumbled swear words, they clung onto the two front legs and duct taped them together too.

Heaving for air, they rose up over the completely immobilized old god. A single laugh rolled out of Den, then another. Rika joined him, and soon they were all laughing madly over the monster. Rika was the first to raise her weapon. “Who’s the vermin now?” she said as she fell atop the monster, stabbing it. The others joined in. In the heat of the moment, Den himself stabbed the monster a couple times before standing up.

Trembling at the edge of the water, Capybara looked at them with horror. It its unchanging flat expression, Den could nonetheless clearly see it say, “You’re savages!”

Well, maybe that wasn’t wrong. They were laughing maniacally as they mercilessly stabbed a foe that could no longer fight back. The deed had to be done however. And the job wasn’t over yet. Den ran back to where he had stowed the posterboard. He brought it out and threw it down on the ground, sticky side up next to Old God Joseph. Den set his hand on Rika’s shoulder. “We need it alive,” he said.

At his words, the others rose up, the wild frenzy in their eyes fading. “Just one more step,” Den said. “We don’t want that one to summon anything else after we take care of the biggun.”

Rika jumped on top of the heaving but still Old God Joseph while Den and the others lined up on either side of the laid board. “Hey, are you just going to stand over there and not help your friend here?” Rika taunted. “Come and chew through these. We’ll let you try.”

Den and the others walked away from the monster and Rika threw herself backwards onto her feet, raising her arms up. “Don’t think your teeth are good enough?”

Capybara’s eyes gained an enraged glint. “You think that my incisors would not be enough? Silly human.” It burst forth, running at speeds they could not hope to keep up with. That is-- until it ran straight onto the board of tape. Its front paws stuck firmly, and it halted, letting off a surprised chirp.

And with that, they had won.

They ran in, pushing the stumbling monster down onto the tape trap. It squeaked indignantly and squirmed violently, but the cardboard bent with its body, the tape only getting more caught in its fur as it resisted. In the end, despite being the greatest of all rodents, even it fell to a simple sticky mouse trap. Its crown fell from its head and Rika picked it up and set it on her own. “Now I am Rika, King of Rodents!” she declared, the terrifying glint of a tyrant entering her eyes. She let off a full-bellied, evil laugh that would give any supervillain a run for their money. “Bwahahaha!” When her laughter subsided, in an almost scary calm, she said. “Let’s end this.”

It took several minutes of violence before their weapons managed to do enough damage to Old God Joseph to make it give a groan of defeat and send it up in smoke. It dropped a fist sized chunk of Grade E Essence Ore. It was incredibly satisfying killing a god. He could not help joining Rika in her evil laughter as they usurped Capybara, Former-King of Rodents. To Rika’s great disappointment, its crown disappeared when it chirped its last.

Everyone was covered in sweat and bruises from being kicked by the monsters, and no one said anything as the Infinity Chest in the back clicked open. Finally, an uncontrollable joy welled up in Den. He threw his fists in the air. “We did it!” he yelled. “So what we’re losers? We still did it!” Rika threw her fists in the air and roared in cheer too, the others following suit.

GrandPre didn’t think it would be possible, but here they were. They’d found victory their own way, and with hardly an injury between them. Rika ran into him with a hug, and Chloe pulled Sam and Grengalheim into the hug too. Den realized this was the first time in his life he cried happy tears.

---

And so they made their bill.

The Guildmaster welcomed them in as official full members of the Suburb 23 Guild. They had enough Essence Ore left over after a few more runs of the Fourth Layer to buy alcohol and snacks galore for a party at Den’s to celebrate their accomplishment.

After a shower, Den joined GrandPre to help prepare the night’s feast. While cutting vegetables next to each other at the kitchen counter, GrandPre asked, “So, you’re moving out then?”

“Yeah, we’re all moving in with Chloe. That will give us considerably more cash to spend on Enchanted Items.”

“Hm,” she said. “Good luck with that.” She said nothing as she washed some tomatoes. “You did well to manage paying both rent and your party obligations.”

“It wasn’t easy,” he said with a laughing sigh. “It hurts that I won’t be able to get my computer back though.”

“I am sorry about that,” she said. “I was only able to change my life by letting go of everything and starting again. I wanted to give you an option of having space to get started on a new path before temptation returned.” She frowned. “I didn’t think you would be forced to give it up. I do feel bad about causing that.”

“I wasn’t forced,” he said. “I made my choice. It was only one more thing to be let go of from my old life. I don’t know what I would do with it even if I had it now.” Though even as he said that, his heart begged to differ. “But, I wouldn’t mind if you told me where you pawned it off.”

“Hm,” she said, seeming to consider that. “Perhaps.”

In the silence that followed, he decided it was time to say what was really on his mind. “Why are you okay with me becoming an adventurer?” he asked softly. “I fully expected you to try to stop me.”

She paused while chopping tomatoes. “I’ve tried that method before. I know better now that even if it's with good intentions, trying to stop someone from the path they chose ends poorly.” She continued cutting. “That doesn’t mean I agree with your choice of such a dangerous line of work.”

“My party and I aren’t doing anything all that dangerous,” Den said.

She laughed softly. “That’s how it starts. You’ll see. You gain confidence in the first few Stratum before adventuring takes you further.”

Den paused in his own cutting. “Is that supposed to be a bad thing? That sounds pretty rad to be honest.” GrandPre didn’t say anything so Den found it time to ask the question GrandPapi never answered for him. “Why did you two stop adventuring? And don’t tell me it was because it was the right time-- that answer won’t cut it anymore.”

“When we lost three of our party members and barely made it back to civilization ourselves, your grandfather decided it was time to stop,” she said with succinct curtness, squinting down at her work. “I didn’t want to stop. It was all we had. I told him it had been my call as leader that put us in over our heads. I told him we could keep going.” She let out a long sigh. “But what could I say when he said he didn’t want to lose me too? He gave up everything else and so I agreed to retire here. We both let it all go… we agreed on that…”

She paused and gripped the counter, her breath coming short. She lifted a hand to her mouth taking deep breaths to control herself. Den stood shocked, unable to say anything. His strong and unbudging grandmother had tears in her eyes. “I moved on from it for him, but even though it was his idea, he couldn’t stop.” She swallowed her breath and let out a long sigh, quickly wiping the tears from her face. “People are filled with good intentions and desire. Neither are bad, but even with our best efforts, they can result in regrets.” She gave him a long look with her piercing eyes. “That’s why I only let others make their decisions for themselves.”

“Do you think I will regret taking this path?” Den asked, his stomach twisting at the thought.

“I think you would have regrets if you didn’t,” she said, “But you will surely have regrets on this path too. You will just have to live with that.” She smiled a bittersweet smile. “But I know you will have many incredible times too. That is what it means to live. I can’t let myself agree with your choice to adventure. We gave it up. That was our decision and I both regret and don’t regret it--” Her smile grew warm. “But even if I don’t agree with you choosing the same bittersweet path we once had, I can still support you for finding your place.”

Den took a trembling breath. “Thank you, GrandPre. I still have no idea what I am doing, but recently I’ve been starting to feel even a loser like me can do his best and be happy.”

“Take care of your party, Den. If you do, I think you’ll find the most happiness for the least number of regrets. That time spent with your people will become your treasure.”

Den nodded slowly, thinking of his parties' laughter and tears. “It already is.”

The time for celebration had come. Rika stood at the head of the table, Den, the other three party members, and even GrandPre and the Guildmaster all somehow fitting around the colorful harvest feast they had prepared. Rika lifted a glass, her nose raised high. “You all did well to make it this far! I am truly impressed with your efforts. I look forward to your hard work in the future!” She itched her chin and blushed as she glanced away. “And thanks for giving me a second chance. You better bet I will be working twice as hard as any of you to be the best party leader ever!”

Den raised his glass. “Cheers to Rika! We’ll do our best as long as you do yours. You better remember that!”

“With you all, I feel like we could do anything and go anywhere,” Sam said, raising their glass. “To adventuring!”

“Chloe is happy just to have people,” she said, raising her glass. “To friends!”

“And to our legend. I have high hopes for all of us!” Grengalheim said.

“To Rika’s Awesome Party!” Rika declared.

“Cheers!” They all said in unison, clinking glasses around the table.

After taking a chug of beer and shivering at the bitterness, Den said, “Also, I never approved of that name. What did we decide on in the end?”

“I didn’t change it,” Rika said.

“Well what does it say in the Guild App?” Den asked.

Sam was the first to draw out their phone. After a few expert taps they let out a laugh. “No one changed it.” They turned the phone around for all to see.

“We are… Party Party?” Chloe asked.

“Den, you never added anything after deleting the ‘Rika’s Awesome’ portion?” Grengalheim asked.

“Why do you make it sound like that was my job?” Den asked. “We said we were going to talk about it later. With worrying about paying the bill it completely slipped my mind.”

“Well, it’s later.” Sam said. “I have always dreamed of naming an adventurer party!” They tapped around, mumbling… “Edit profile… edit personal information.. Okay, here it is! Edit party name!” They tapped the screen. Their mouth dropped open. “What?!”

“What?” Rika asked with her cheeks already full. “There a problem?”

“Why does it cost 50,000 doubloons to change the party name?!” Sam asked, swinging to the Guildmaster.

He could only offer a helpless shrug. “You know our clientele. The Guild needs to make money too.”

Den could only laugh at that. That seemed just their luck as adventurers. “Well,” he said. “There are a million things I am looking forward to doing and saving money for and that’s not one of them. Screw money. Screw the Guild!” He lifted his drink one more time. “Cheers to Party Party!”