I'm Sorry

“Young man, may I know your name?”

Flint hesitated before giving his reply.

“It’s Flint…”

The Hero Knight smiled.

“I sense the sword at your hip is extremely powerful, Flint. May I ask why you didn’t use it?”

Flint stiffened at the sound of that question. He didn’t expect the Hero Knight to notice such a thing… or make such an accurate comment.

But of course he would. Of course a Hero Knight sensed the blade.

“If I draw it, then…”

Flint gulped, smiling bitterly at the ground.

“I must take a human life with it.”

Kemal didn’t answer for a moment, simply letting the answer hang in the air.

“I see…” He mused, “It must be difficult for someone like you to carry it.”

Someone like you.

Flint nodded silently.

“Still you fought well despite that. It was a good thing we arrived when we did.”

Flint couldn’t argue. He knew what would have happened had they not appeared.

“Do not be disappointed.” The Hero Knight saw the look on Flint’s face, so he placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hesitation is completely natural. Most people hesitate.”

Kemal exhaled, looking away towards the children playing in the field.

“Heroes simply don’t have the luxury of doing so.”

As Kemal walked away, Flint lowered his gaze to the ground.

Heroes simply don’t have the luxury of doing so.

Then I made a choice no hero would have made.

𓌏

Not far away, Isla knelt beside another injured traveler, fresh healing magic flowing from her staff.

A woman in polished silver armor approached, carrying a bucket of clean water beneath one arm. Her long silver hair caught the firelight as she set the bucket down beside Isla without a sound.

“You have remarkable control over your magic.”

Isla offered a tired smile.

“I learned it in a monastery...”

The woman wrung out a clean cloth before handing it over.

“You’ve done well today. I saw you protected all those people with your barrier.”

Isla didn’t know what to say except offer a nod of gratitude.

“A Hero only shines because someone like you stands behind him.”

Isla paused at her words.

“…Behind?”

The woman nodded matter-of-factly.

“My name is Katarina, Sir Kemal’s second in command.”

“I’m… Isla.”

They both introduced themselves.

“The Hero Guard clears the path and I protect Sir Kemal. So he can protect everyone else.”

She glanced toward Isla’s magical abilities.

“…Someone with gifts like yours should always stand behind a hero.”

Isla remained kneeling beside the wounded traveler, though her hands no longer moved.

Katarina walked away without another word.

Behind.

She had never thought about it before.

She had always healed Flint’s wounds.

Supported him.

Protected him when she could.

But she never challenged his choices. She never protected him… from himself.

Wasn’t that…

standing behind him?

Slowly, her eyes drifted across the courtyard.

Flint still sat alone upon the ruined wall.

Separated from everyone.

Separated from her.

A quiet ache settled inside her chest.

“…Was I?”

She whispered it so softly that even she barely heard herself.

“…Standing behind Flint?”

Her gaze never left him.

For some reason…

The answer didn’t feel right.

𓌏

The outpost had fallen silent.

Most of the campfires had burned down to little more than glowing embers, their fading light barely pushing back the darkness creeping through the old stone walls. The weary merchants slept beneath blankets, while Hero Guards quietly patrolled the perimeter with disciplined footsteps.

Isla’s eyes slowly opened.

“…”

She wasn’t sure what had woken her. And yet the only thing she could think about were those words.

“Someone with gifts like yours should always stand behind a hero.”

They simply refused to leave her alone.

She quietly sat up, careful not to wake Furielle sleeping beside her. The cool night air greeted her as she stepped outside. The courtyard lay empty, stillness filling the night air.

Or it should have at least.

As Isla walked away from the sleeping quarters, a distant sound filled the air, faint but clearly present.

Thwack.

Another followed.

Thwack.

Wood splitting

Isla smiled at the familiarity of it. It was faint but as she followed it, the sound gradually grew louder.

“…Flint?”

She rounded the corner and behind the tower, stacked neatly beside an old chopping block, lay a growing pile of firewood.

Flint raised the axe once more.

CRACK.

The log split cleanly in two.

He hadn’t noticed her yet, prompting her to speak up.

“…You couldn’t sleep either?”

The axe stopped halfway through its next swing as Flint glanced over his shoulder with a nod.

“No… I couldn’t.”

He rested the axe against the stump as Isla quietly walked over and sat on one of the cut logs nearby. For a while, neither of them spoke, simply listening to the wind passing through the trees.

“…”

Flint looked down at the axe in his hands.

“I kept hearing his words.”

Isla tilted her head.

“Did you speak to Sir Kemal?”

He nodded.

“He told me… ‘Heroes don’t have the luxury of hesitation.’”

Silence settled again.

“I think…” His eyes narrowed. “…he was right.”

Isla looked at him.

Flint’s gaze never left the worn handle of the axe.

“I hesitated. I couldn’t choose. If I’d drawn the Bloodblade immediately…”

His grip tightened.

“…everyone would’ve lived.”

Isla didn’t interrupt.

She could feel where the conversation was heading. And she didn’t like it.

“But you didn’t draw because the enemy wasn’t… human.”

Flint nodded absentmindedly.

“I couldn’t take the life of an innocent as payment for the sword.”

His shoulders slowly slumped.

“So I kept thinking…”

A bitter smile crossed his face.

“There had to be another answer. That’s what I should be doing, right? Look for another answer…”

The wind carried through the trees.

Flint’s voice barely rose above it.

“…Eventually… I found one.”

He swallowed hard.

“I thought of… offering my own life to the Bloodblade instead.”

Flint almost… offered his life?

Isla felt like the words hit her like a physical blow.

“Eh…?”

“I didn’t have time to think of anything else. That was the only answer.”

Isla swallowed, her lip trembling.

“And that was your… conclusion?”

“Pathetic, right?” Flint sighed, “If Sir Kemal were in my shoes—“

Isla clenched her fists so hard her arms trembled.

Flint was willing to give up his life today… and she had no idea.

“No…”

Flint furrowed his brows at her. Her face had clouded over, her eyes no longer fully visible.

“Isla?”

“No!”

Isla rose from the log, stomping her feet on the grass.

“You don’t get to decide that!”

“What? But I—“

“You’re wrong! You think if everyone else lives then that’s enough?!”

“Isla—“

“You think I would’ve thanked you?! You think I would’ve smiled because everyone else survived?!”

Flint stood up, his arms raised in front of him in an attempt to calm her down.

Isla’s face contorted in a way he’d never seen from her before. Warm tears spilled down her face, her teeth gritted as if she were in physical pain.

“I…”

The words broke apart into sobs.

“I never met my parents…”

Her voice cracked.

“I lost Berthram… I left my home behind…”

Her glassy eyes looked back at him, finally visible.

“And you were just going to decide I’d lose you too?”

Flint lowered his head.

She had convinced herself that watching his back was enough. That as long as she stayed close, Flint would never truly leave her behind.

But…

She had never been beside him.

Not really.

Not since they had left the village.

Every burden. Every impossible choice. Every fear…

He had carried them alone.

Her childhood friend.

The boy she had grown up with.

The boy that always smiled. The boy that always declared the biggest dreams with the biggest conviction.

The boy she had followed into the unknown without a second thought…

The boy she had loved for as long as she could remember.

He was slipping further and further away from her.

She couldn’t let that happen.

Flint wasn’t simply a hero.

To her…

He was home.

He was family.

He was everything she had left.

Isla clenched her fists at her sides, her knuckles growing white from the force.

“…You thought I left the village simply because Berthram told me to?”

Flint didn’t know what to say. He simply stared at her, eyes wide.

Isla couldn’t hold her tears.

“No… I left because… I wanted to be by your side. And I thought I was but… I was wrong.”

“But you are, Isla…”

“I am not!” Isla’s voice rose, “You… you would have walked on ahead and I would have stayed behind to pick up the pieces.”

Isla shook her head, voice cracking beneath her words.

“That’s not walking beside you, Flint.”

Flint’s mind was racing. He didn’t know how to react to his childhood friend’s outburst. Isla had always been the level-headed one. The one person who sighed and followed after him when he’d suggest something reckless.

The one person that quietly braved everything without breaking. At some point he had probably thought she was an impenetrable wall.

How could he be so stupid? There was only so much she could handle before breaking.

“Do you think I don’t understand why you want to protect people?”

She wiped away her tears only for more to come spilling down.

“Do you think I’d ever ask you to stop?”

“No, that’s not what I think…”

“Then don’t you dare tell me becoming a hero means I have to lose you.”

Another tear rolled down her cheek as she stepped forward and gripped his shirt tightly in her hand.

Flint could sense her hands were trembling.

“Why…”

She struggled to finish the sentence.

“…Why is everyone else’s life precious to you… except your own?”

Flint didn’t have an answer.

“You were my friend before you became a hero, Flint. But you never stopped to think what your heroic act would do to the people who love you…”

Her words struck Flint like a hammer to the ribs.

“I…”

“You decided for us. You decided we’d just… move on.”

Until now…

Flint had believed every step he took was toward becoming a hero.

Somewhere along the way…

Without ever meaning to…

He had forgotten that before he had dreamed of becoming a hero…

He had promised himself he would always be a good friend.

Finally…

Flint whispered,

“…I’m sorry.”

Isla rested her head against his chest, gripping his shirt as if afraid he might disappear the moment she let go.

“I don’t want your apology. I want a promise.”

Flint nodded quietly.

“…Promise me. No matter how hopeless things become… you won’t throw your life away.”

She pushed herself off, meeting his eyes.

“That you’ll come back to me.”

Flint’s lips parted.

For the first time a request felt heavier than any battle he’d faced.

Because promises like that…

Couldn’t always be kept.

And Isla was the last person he wanted to hurt.

Although only moments earlier, he had nearly done just that…

Flint slowly reached up, brushing a tear from her cheek.

“…I’ll try.”

She immediately frowned.

“…Flint.”

He smiled sadly.

“I can’t promise I’ll never risk my life. But…”

His voice softened.

“I can promise… I’ll never treat it like it’s worth less than anyone else’s.”

For a moment…

She simply looked at him. Then she threw her arms around him holding him so tightly it almost hurt.

“…Good.” She whispered through quiet sobs, “Because I refuse to lose you.”

Flint slowly returned the embrace, his arms tightening around her almost hesitantly.

She had reminded him of something he had forgotten.

Something else he had failed at.

Before becoming a hero, he was a friend…

And today he had failed at both.

And no matter how tightly he held Isla…

Kemal’s words still echoed somewhere deep inside him.

Heroes don’t have the luxury of hesitation.

Isla’s fingers balled his shirt into a fist.

She too was no different. No matter how much his reassurance grounded her…

She couldn’t shake away the feeling that Flint was drifting further and further away from her.

𓌏

Amidst the quiet of the same night, Kemal rested both hands upon the table lit only by a single lantern.

“…The sword at his hip… it is no ordinary weapon.”

Katarina standing besides him, folded her arms.

“Should we send word to the Council?”

A long silence followed before Kemal slowly shook his head.

“…No. I’ll speak with him alone first.”

Katarina nodded firmly, posture straight as an arrow.

“As you wish, Sir Kemal.”

Faint shouting could be heard in the distance from the window overlooking the rest of the outpost.

Katarina looked over but paid it no mind.

𓌏

When morning came the next day, Furielle’s voice was hurried.

“Flint? Hey! Anybody seen Flint?”

She looked at his sleeping bag, around the fire… Flint was nowhere in sight.

“Eh?” Isla rose from her sleeping bag, rubbing her eye. Furielle was looking beneath his sleeping bag now… still nothing.

“Something happened?”

Furielle turned towards her, face stricken with worry.

“Isla we have a problem! Flint is nowhere to be found!”

Murry yawned.

“Maybe he’s somewhere out there chopping wood?”

Ludmilla woke up too, wiping her glasses on a piece of cloth.

“That’s unusual. He rarely leaves without notice in the early hours of the morning.”

A merchant walked over, having overheard their conversation.

“If you’re looking for your companion…” He pointed with his thumb, “Him and Hero Knight Kemal have been gone for almost half an hour.”

For a heartbeat Furielle simply stared at him like he had grown a second head.

“…Half an hour?”

Isla’s heart sank at the realization. Flint was gone.

Maybe what she told him yesterday…

“He went off with the Hero Knight you say?” Ludmilla narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

“Okay, regrettably, breakfast is postponed.” Murry sat up begrudgingly, strapping the sword to his belt.