You Can Talk

Finding that colossal spider for the second time wasn’t very difficult. I had no experience navigating around the desert, but the compass made things easy. The difficult part was catching up to it.

The first time I found the spider we were moving in opposite directions, but this time it was more like I was chasing after it. And considering how long its legs were, that made things rather time consuming.

I was running as fast as I could, but running through the sand was more difficult than I expected it to be. Anytime I put too much power into my steps my legs would start sinking.

Like I thought, this stuff would never catch on.

A certain ex-god whose only ability seemed to be getting eaten and absorbed suggested that I move at an angle to try and meet the spider at a later point. His suggestion was ignored. I didn’t feel like thinking about the math, but I’m sure his plan made sense. The spider wouldn’t leave the desert, so eventually it would need to change directions. If I anticipated which direction it would turn I could catch up to it while still traveling less distance.

I wouldn't do something like that though. I couldn’t afford to let the spider reach the end of the desert. You see, that bird was probably a nice god. I was not. I probably had more in common with the spider. That’s why I could imagine what it was going to do.

‘Rule from god.’

That’s what that girl told me. That spider made it clear to the people who lived in the desert that trespassers wouldn’t be tolerated. So what exactly was going to happen to the village that let someone in?

They’d all be killed of course. Well, I’m not sure how many villages are left in the desert, so they might not all be killed. Either way, I was certain that there was some kind of punishment coming. I’m sure the spider had some way of knowing which village was responsible for letting me in.

“Miss, even if that’s true, what does it have to do with you? You’ve absorbed me, but it’s not like you actually feel responsible for what used to be my territory.”

“Of course not. I believe I’ve made this clear enough already, but I’m not interested in being a god, and I’m even less interested in helping you be a god again.”

“Then why? Why risk your life to protect them?”

I could understand why he was confused. Usually I wouldn’t be very interested in the life or death of a few humans. After all, they were constantly dying all over the place. Getting worked up over such a short lived species was just a waste of time.

“Because I’m a mercenary now. And even if it was by mistake, I still accepted a job to kill that spider. Simple as that. I’d also like to remind you that I’m already dead, so I’m hardly risking anything.”

It was in fact, not as simple as that, but I didn’t feel the need to discuss all of my motivations. Besides, if he really cared he could read my mind anyway. It wasn’t really anything deep.

I was just annoyed. I mean, isn’t it ridiculous? Just because some things didn’t go its way, the spider gets to kill all of those villagers? The very idea of it was unpleasant. That might sound hypocritical from someone who released a soul reaver that destroyed an even larger settlement, but that's entirely different. A soul reaver reaving souls is to be expected. An upstart spider that fancies itself a god doling out punishment was about as unfair as you could get.

I mean, I went to so much trouble to try and make some money. Here I was, following all the rules and acting like a proper human. And I was just supposed to accept that the spider got to do something absolutely ridiculous while I was stuck following the rules? Were our positions really that different?

Hardly. If I had to follow the rules, so did the spider. If I was going to let the spider kill those villagers I should have just taken all of their money by force in the first place.

This wasn’t about the villagers. I was a victim as well. Just living in the same world as something so unreasonable as that would cause me no shortage of mental harm. Exactly. I was getting hurt, that made this self defense.

I had to protect my fragile mental state.

That might sound like some kind of justification, but let me assure you, those were my honest feelings. I wasn’t rushing to defend those humans. Their lives had no more value than the gold in their pockets. As I said, I could understand the spider more than I’d ever understand someone who went to save the villagers. I didn’t want to save them, I just didn’t want that spider to kill them.

“Whatever the reason, I appreciate the effort. For that, let me give you two important pieces of information. First, while you’re a little -”

“If you plan on living out the next nine seconds don’t finish that sentence!” I could predict his words before he said them.

“While you’re not exactly the tallest person I’ve ever met, you don’t have an overly childish face. The reason everyone has been thinking you’re a child is your clothes. That skirt length is for girls who haven’t come of age yet.”

“That couldn’t possibly be-”

I failed to finish my thought as I looked back over all of my recent interactions. Thinking about it, had I even once been confused for a younger girl before I got my new outfit? Sure, people assumed I was a young woman, but based on my body's actual age, that was true. And while I chose to ignore it, the other customers shopping for clothes in the section I was in were all rather young.

“How did a bird come to possess such deep wisdom?”

“No, even in this kingdom that was common knowledge.”

“This kingdom?”

“That has to do with the second thing I needed to tell you. You noticed they speak a different language here, well, this is an entirely different kingdom, at least it used to be. Ah’Ruh is a small city in the Theran Empire. And while no one comes to this desert anymore, this area used to be part of Antia.”

“Small?”

“Yeah, that’s what I wanted to let you know. You seem to think that Ah’Ruh was ‘the big city’, but from what I understand, it’s always been a rather small fortress city.”

“Maybe, maybe that was true back when you were just a bird, but things are different now. It’s a big city! There are at least 22,516 people living there.”

I hadn’t counted yet, but that’s what Sanson told me when I asked.

“Yeah, that’s not exactly a large city. The Theran Capital used to have over a million residents, and other capital cities usually have around half that. I couldn’t say how big they’ve gotten since I was eaten.”

“A million?”

“A million.”

I’d never heard of that number, but the way he said it made me think it was big.

“So then Ah’Ruh. . .”

“Not the big city.”

“Then I’m. . .”

“Not a big city girl, no. Most of the empire would still consider Ah’Ruh somewhere off in the boonies. It was part of a conquered territory, and, I mean, it’s only a short trip away from this wasteland.”

My legs kept moving, but my entire self identity collapsed in on itself. What was the point of anything?

“Listen Miss, I doubt you’ll actually learn anything from this, but I feel like this is a good opportunity to address some of your faults. Should you really be basing your entire identity off of something so flimsy that it ended up only existing in your imagination?”

“This isn’t the time for jokes, this is serious!”

“No, I was trying to be. . . nevermind. Bringing something like that up was my mistake.”

How was something like this possible? I was certain that eight out of nine people would agree that I was a quintessential city girl. Could all eight of them be mistaken? Isn’t that statistically unlikely?

“Those people only exist in your imagination.”

So then if we assume that it’s statistically impossible for 80 out of 81 people to all be wrong, there must be something else going on.

“The imaginary numbers went up, but it’s still hardly impossible.”

Wait, who decided a city girl needed to live in the city? I never lived in Ah’Ruh in the first place, yet 80.8% of people ranked me as the #1 city girl. It’s not like their opinions are invalid because they mistakenly believed Ah’Ruh was a big city, they were simply recognizing that I was a city girl no matter where I was.

“Alright, safe. Don’t worry about it, I figured things out. My identity is safe.”

I felt an emotion bordering on exasperation bleeding through our mental connection.

“It’s impressive, in a way. How easily you’re able to bend reality to suit your needs. We’re both relics of the past, but you were definitely more suited to being a god. And your uncharacteristically precise base nine calculation is creeping me out.”

With all of the dangerous thoughts purged from my head I was able to catch up to the wannabe god spider. It didn’t take nearly as long as the bird was expecting. If the spider was moving at top speed there’s no way I’d ever catch it, but I knew it wouldn’t be in a rush. A god didn’t need to rush.

Now, to anyone expecting an epic rematch, prepare to be disappointed.

If I wanted to, I could have removed that pest without any trouble.

But, you know, sometimes peaceful solutions are best. Some people might claim that I said something or other about killing a spider. I assure you, those people are heartless liars. Ignore their wicked words, and trust me.

Again, if I wanted to I could have beaten that thing senseless. It’s not like the spider was still too strong for me.

But even if it was, that would be understandable. I mean, under normal circumstances I’d have taken care of it, no problem, but I was distracted by the bird living in my head. It’s his fault! He was slowing me down.

Exactly. It’s only logical that the spider crushed me, slashed me, bit me, and completely destroyed me more times than I could count. That wasn’t ideal, but I figured it would work out eventually. If I let it kill me enough times, eventually it would get bored, right?

That was my plan at least, but things didn’t come to that. While one of its legs was piercing my chest, I felt something. Well, I mean, I felt a lot of things in that moment, most of them unpleasant, but there was one thing that stood out.

It was weaker. Weaker than it had ever been. Was it getting tired? No, it couldn’t be that. Nothing parading around as a god would get tired out from something as simple as killing me a few dozen times. Then I saw them on the horizon. They were a good distance away, but with nothing blocking their view I’m sure they saw my fight against their god with perfect detail.

Those villagers were watching, with that bread and cheese bringing prophet at the front. She must have told them I was going to kill their god. And while I’m sure they didn’t believe her at first, they were starting to doubt the power of the spider. Sure, I wasn’t winning, but neither was the spider. By this point they were probably openly praying that I’d actually manage to kill it.

Unfortunately, as someone with no interest in ever being a god again, I couldn’t convert that faith into power, but their prayers were still helping me. Or rather, I should say that they were hurting the spider. The very people that were supposed to be supplying it with their prayers were actively praying for it to lose.

This wasn’t a battle of a god vs. a jealous ex-god. This was a battle of a god vs. its own followers, with me as their chosen representative. I didn’t care much for them before, but after realizing that I actually felt like protecting them.

I really am everyone’s big sister.

After that things continued in a similar, yet slightly more productive fashion. Rather than even try to defend myself, I let the spider keep landing critical hits on my body. I used those opportunities to land hits of my own. After only a few hours or so half of its legs were bent in the wrong direction and three of its eyes were damaged beyond use.

You might be tempted to think that meant I would eventually squash that spider for good, but things rarely worked out that easily. The initial wounds I delivered were starting to heal. While the spider’s regeneration wasn’t nearly as good as mine, it was still fast enough to make this battle go on for far too long.

“Feel like giving up yet?”

If I couldn’t win through physical strength, I’d need to make this a battle of wits.

“Why won’t you stay dead?” The spider responded to me. I honestly wasn’t expecting that. Its voice was weak and delicate, hardly fitting something of that size.

“What? You can talk?”

“Of course I can talk!”

“Wait a minute. If you’re smart enough to hold a conversation, why didn’t you say anything until now? You attacked me like a wild animal.”

“You didn’t say anything either! Besides, you had the stench of that fae creature about you.”

“You take that back! I smell fine!” I hadn’t bathed in, well, a long time, but that shouldn’t matter. My body didn’t sweat, or produce any kind of waste for that matter. Sure, I had eaten my way through plenty of those two headed lizards, but I was a delicate eater. You wouldn’t find a trace of their scent on me.

“Why did he send you after me? Are you trying to claim my place?”

“As the god of this empty patch of sand? As if. I’m just trying to get paid.”

“God? Take that title if you want it. You’re trying to steal my position as his legal wife!”

“Huh? Wife? What are you talking about? I’m everyone’s big sister, a bachelorette for life.”

“Lies!” One of her legs came crashing down, but it was slow enough that I actually managed to dodge it for once.

“I’m not lying. I’d never tell a lie, trust me on that. Who are you even talking about? I have a hard time imagining the two of us running in similar circles.”

“Rakki! I’ve been able to smell his scent on you from the moment you entered this desert! I thought I killed you after our first encounter, but you won’t stay dead.”

“Rakki? You know him? Wow, small world.” I dodged another one of her legs. “Yeah, I know that guy, but we don’t have the kind of relationship you’re imagining.”

“Really?”

“Really. You can trust me on that. I’d sooner tie rocks to my feet and jump in a lake than think of him romantically.”

“How dare you say something like that! A creature like you is lucky to even catch a glimpse of someone like him!”

“Jeez, calm down. You should be grateful that you’ve got less competition. Now that our cards are on the table, there isn’t really a reason for us to be fighting. Let’s talk about this for a minute. Besides, I might be able to help you. Big sis here is great with relationship advice.” So far my battle of wits strategy was working, so I decided to stick with it.

She had a hesitant look, well, what I imagine a hesitant look on a spider would be, but eventually she folded her legs and lowered her body down to around my level.

“Alright.”

“Thanks. What’s your problem with Rakki, anyway?”

“We were in love! But he tricked me! He said that if I became a god and turned this place into a desert he’d marry me after fifty years, and yet, he never came.”

I let out an exaggerated sigh.

“That doesn’t surprise me. You shouldn’t trust a word out of that fraudster's mouth. Listen, you seem like a nice spider, so let me give you some advice. You really need to forget about a guy like him. There are plenty of better options out there.” Exactly. True love like that only existed in fairytales. Anyone who asks you to wait for them is just wasting your time. This spider needed to face reality.

“You don’t think I’ve tried? I want to move on, but without any closure I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Then take a risk and go after him! Stop waiting around like some princess stuck in a tower. Spider up and confront him face to face! Make him give you an answer in person.” Forget reality! In the face of true love things like that were meaningless. Risk it all on a single chance!

“I would, but Rakki has always been difficult to find by those he doesn’t want to see. I’m afraid that if I go look for him I’ll never find him, and that rejection will be even more heartbreaking. Waiting here for him is becoming more torturous by the day, but staying is my only chance of seeing him again. Clinging to the hope that he will eventually show up is all I have left.”

“Well, that’s never going to work. Let me tell you now, that heartless witch will never show up. But don’t worry, I’ve got good news for you. Listen to this, I know exactly where Rakki is.” I looked up to find the position of the sun. “If you head southeast from here you’ll eventually run into a city. Rakki is living there. I say you go there and give that guy a piece of your mind.”

“Really? He’ll be there? I don’t sense any dishonesty from you.”

“I’m sure of it. It’s just a tiny little hamlet that’s not impressive to anyone, so feel free to rough the place up a bit, but try not to kill any of the humans there.”

“You have my word. From this point forward, I shall consider you a friend.”

“Alright, sure, sounds good.” I can’t say I was very happy with the idea of adding a massive spider to my friends list, but I was even less happy with how short my friends list was.

“Very well. Now, I must go! Thank you.”

“Wait, before you go, there’s something I need to ask.” The spider almost left before I got a chance to ask something important. “What’s your name?”

Why did I care about her name? Personally I didn’t, but I figured I could bring her up around Rakki to make him uncomfortable.

“Silvias.” After giving a name the spider dashed off. I wasn’t sure if it was some kind of magical effect, or just the result of so much mass moving so suddenly, but her sudden departure kicked up a sandstorm.

“Miss, are you sure that’s okay?” The bird took his physical form and started talking to me.

“Of course. Rakki has it coming.” I definitely wasn’t thinking that just because he made me rub my face into the dirt while begging. It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that he collected my tears in a crystal vial as I made plea after plea about how I couldn’t live in poverty, but he still refused to loan me any of his gold.

“Not that. Isn’t sending a monster that strong out on the prowl a huge risk to humans everywhere?”

“How rude. Silvias seemed like a perfectly reasonable spider after you got to know her. I won’t stand for any insults toward my friend. It would be impossible for a spider that size to get around Ah’Ruh without destroying a building or two, but she said she’d try not to kill anyone.”

“Ah’Ruh? What are you talking about? You tricked them into going the wrong direction.”

“What now?”

“Ah’Ruh, and Thera as a whole, is to the northwest. You sent the spider on a wild goose chase.”

“I see. And what exactly is to the southeast?”

“The Kingdom of Valieris.”

“And do you think they have any heroes capable of killing a giant spider god?”

“I certainly hope so.”

I needed to make a mental note. If I ever ran into Silvias again, I should just run away. Something tells me she won’t be in the mood to talk next time.

“Well, no point in worrying about it at this point. Let’s just call it a tie.”

The details of the situation weren’t important. All that mattered was I got the spider to leave the desert.

That meant that there’d be no retribution against the village that let me in anytime soon. If Silvias came back later and decided to kill them all, that would be fine. Like I said before, their life or death didn’t mean much to me. I just couldn’t accept the unfairness of the situation. But if she still wanted to kill the villagers after all this, well, then I had to respect her dedication. If I was in that situation I would certainly forget what I was so worked up about by the time I came back, so it wouldn’t be fair to compare myself to Silvias in that situation.

No matter what happened from this point on, I wouldn’t be bothered in the slightest.

So if you think about it, this wasn’t even a tie. It was just a straight up victory for me.

“I suppose it worked out well enough for now, but weren’t you planning on killing it?”

“Quiet you moralless corvid! I’ll admit to nothing. Stop trying to advance such vicious lies and dredge up the ancient past. It’s safe to say that everyone has moved past any spider related incidents.”

“I highly doubt that. If anything, I feel like you’ve only made the situation worse.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. Unless you know a good lawyer, I’d rather just forget everything that I had to go through. More importantly, I need to go see those villagers before they leave.”

“Why? Now that you defeated the spider, there’s no reason to go back there. You’ve already realized this, but there isn’t a reward waiting for you.”

He put an unnecessary amount of sass on one of those words, but I refuse to acknowledge which.

“I wouldn’t be so certain. They won’t give me any gold, but I just had my second good idea.”